No Turning Back

By Milana Abramov

This book is about a young man who changed his gender because he didn’t want to be like his gay father and his adventure after his transformation.

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• Language: English
• Publisher: Fulton Books, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 22, 2021
• ISBN: 9781649522351

Book preview

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No Turning Back

Milana Abramov

Copyright © 2020 Milana Abramov

All rights reserved

First Edition

Fulton Books, Inc.

Meadville, PA

Published by Fulton Books 2020

ISBN 978-1-64952-234-4 (paperback)

ISBN 978-1-64952-235-1 (digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

In our time, a person is used to struggle with the surrounding world, with a self-created image of an enemy, and now often being hostile to himself, is trying to overcome his own feelings and worldview, changing not just his inner world, but also his appearance…

The wealthy Bertolucci family resided in one of San Francisco suburbs. Mother Angelica was working as an accountant in a lucrative company, and she dedicated all her spare time to her only and beloved son Lucas. Lucas’s grandmother Isabella was also living with them, but when Lucas turned five years old, she passed away from a long-suffering illness.

It’s impossible to describe how terribly shocking was her death to the boy, whose nascent conscious life was connected to these two most beloved and closest women in the whole world! And now, one of them is gone…

He would remember that terrible summer day for the rest of his life when his tearful mom came back from the hospital and with some unusual voice told him that his grandmother was gone forever.

Then, it was her funeral on a humid rainy day that many people came to, his mother’s and grandmother’s friends with their families, his mother’s coworkers, the neighbors, and Italian Diaspora members, who all respected the Bertolucci family a lot.

When that sad event was over, the terrifying silence and loneliness reigned the house, which was interrupted from time to time by Angelica’s sobs. A couple of days later Angelica put her mom’s picture in a black frame on her dressing table.

About a week after, a middle aged woman, Ms. Maria, with very kind eyes came to their house; she was supposed to babysit Lucas. When she saw Lucas for the first time, she exclaimed, What an angelically beautiful boy! and then, she turned to his mother and with a warm, sincere smile added, He looks very similar to you. And really, the boy got his big expressive gray eyes and proper facial features from his mom and his curly black hair (the only thing), as Angelica used to joke, from his father. Lucas was short, and at age five, he looked a year younger.

Gentle and quiet, he got loved by Ms. Maria since the first minutes she saw him, and she tried to warm the boy up with family attention, which Angelica liked a lot. This woman can be trusted with a child, she thought to herself with satisfaction.

Further, every single day, Angelica was more and more confident about the right choice she made about a babysitter for her son. When she was coming home after a long working day, she would see her son running to her with a happy smile, and she realized that Ms. Maria was becoming someone more significant than just a babysitter for Lucas. Mommy, mommy, you know we went for a walk to the park with Ms. Maria. I liked it so much! I was running and playing. And then, when we came home, she told me a very interesting story about a little piggy. Great! Angelica replied, and then, she would direct her question to Ms. Maria, Did my Lucas behave? Yes, he was a good boy! Ms. Maria would always give an optimistic answer.

Of course, it would have been not fare to tell that the boy didn’t remember and miss his grandmother. For quite some time, he would run to his mother’s bedroom and be standing in front of his grandmother’s picture.

But time is a good healer, and little by little, the boy was getting used to his new life. And the big credit for that was going to Ms. Maria. This sensitive woman was doing everything possible to distract the boy from the recently experienced shock. And she would often tell Angelica, You are a young, beautiful woman; you should start taking care of yourself. Otherwise, you can get old ahead of time. And Angelica, overcoming herself, slowly was going back to her normal life.

Closer to September, the Bertolucci family had a pleasant event: Lucas was going to start his first year in the school. There was a preschool excitement in their house. At the weekends, Angelica and Ms. Maria were taking Lucas for shopping, and he was getting lots of new clothes (despite the fact that he had plenty at home) and school supplies.

About a week before the school started, Angelica decided to surprise her son and Ms. Maria. In the evening, when all three of them were having supper, she said to Ms. Maria, Would you move into our house? When Lucas heard it, he even stopped eating his favorite cherry pie and looked at his nanny’s face with the shining eyes. You will move in, won’t you? he asked her with great excitement. Of course, I will! She replied after such an unexpected proposal.

After all, Ms. Maria didn’t have any relatives left in the whole world. Thirty years ago, she got into a shootout when she was illegally crossing the Mexican-American border with her family. Her parents and two older brothers were killed, and a miraculously survived teenage girl underwent long treatment in the hospital, and then, the authorities felt sorry for her and decided not to deport her to her native country and instead sent her to the orphanage.

When she grew up, she decided to dedicate her life to raising children. And despite her poor personal life, she successfully raised generations of children.

The next day, she moved with her simple belongings from a Spanish area to the luxury Bertolucci residence, where she was allotted a nice and bright room on the second floor next to Lucas’s bedroom. The boy was so happy! While Maria was unpacking and laying out her belongings and was moving some furniture to arrange the room her way, Lucas was running into her room and, creating a mess, was trying to help her in his childish way. Finally, everything was done and put in order in the room, and both of them, after getting some rest, went for a walk to a nearby park.

In the evening after the supper, his mom and Maria (nobody, neither Angelica nor her son, would call her Ms. Maria anymore, by Maria’s request) were occupied by housework, and Lucas was playing in the living room. When the time came to take Lucas to bed, Maria took him upstairs to his bedroom, where she was singing him a lullaby and was telling him stories about Mexican heroes. The boy kissed her while falling asleep, and soon, he quietly sniffed with a smile on his lips.

The last week before the beginning of the school went by very fast, and his mom and Maria solemnly took Lucas to school in the morning. When he saw so many noisy and naughty kids, first, he got confused, but when he looked at his smiling mom and nanny, he got brave, kissed them, and ran to the mischievous crowd of peers, and soon, he disappeared among them.

During the first day in the school, Lucas met Benny and Johnny, and friendship with them ensued for many years. Benny was a nimble mobile ginger with a freckled face and bright blue little naughty eyes. He was