Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

Near Death By A Thousand Cuts: A Humorous Memoir Of Misfortune
Near Death By A Thousand Cuts: A Humorous Memoir Of Misfortune
Near Death By A Thousand Cuts: A Humorous Memoir Of Misfortune
Ebook187 pages2 hours

Near Death By A Thousand Cuts: A Humorous Memoir Of Misfortune

Rating: 0 out of 5 stars


Read preview

About this ebook

Pregnant and dealing with a bout of morning sickness, Andrew Butters' soon-to-be mom handed the keys to her car to her husband and asked him to start it up. He cranked the engine and released the clutch, not realizing it was still in gear. The car lurched forward, striking her in the caboose and launching her into the ditch. Thus began her unborn son's adventures in misfortune.


Told in the style of a friend at the pub recounting a tall tale that begins, "Have I told you about the time...," Near Death by a Thousand Cuts takes you on a wild and crazy forty-eight-year journey filled with accidents, injuries, and medical procedures guaranteed to make you simultaneously wince and laugh to the point of tears.

Release dateApr 1, 2023

Andrew Butters

Potato Chip Math is the brand name for writer and creator Andrew Butters. He is a 40-something married father of two living in New Brunswick, Canada and he will tell you that his first published work was Losing Vern as part of the Orange Karen: A Tribute to a Warrior anthology. In reality, it was a 500-word anecdote about the time he lit himself on fire. That story made it into the third installment of the Darwin Awards books. Fire is not the only foe for Andrew. He has received several severe concussions and a few “minor” ones, the last coming in the summer of 2011. It goes without saying that he is one hundred percent on board with head protection and brain health. Not all his distinctions are as dubious as appearing in a Darwin Awards book. There was the time he participated in a trick on stage with Penn & Teller. He had a solid minute of screen time on the Super Dave Osborne Show. He scored a game-winning goal at Maple Leaf Gardens and even “sold” music to filmmaker Kevin Smith. He was also given a whole three seconds of non-speaking airtime in a TV commercial, and who could forget when he appeared as a fighting homeless man in a rap video. He writes, creates, eats snacks, blogs, toils over his next novel, creates videos, and is a huge fan of golf, hockey, science, EQUALITY, and the Oxford comma. Andrew sometimes lets his love of attention override common sense. You can find evidence of this pretty much anywhere you can find him.

Related to Near Death By A Thousand Cuts

Related ebooks

Personal Memoirs For You