Resilience: A Journey Empowered by Hope

By Miriam Everett-Jones

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it." ― Maya Angelou

If you are struggling with change in your life, this book will help you navigate through hardships and obstacles as you choose love, joy, true happiness, peace, and success in life and business. 

 

In these page

• Language: English
• Publisher: Empowered Choices Coaching
• Release date: Jan 16, 2023
• ISBN: 9780645664812

Book preview

Reviews

‘An honest, raw, and inspirational window into life, love, and faith.’

--Matt Lavars, Lead Coach, Mentor, and Trainer at The Coaching Institute

‘A courageous and generous debut shared through the author’s energy and strength; it will encourage and uplift readers on their own journey in learning resilience.’

--Kath Gane, Accredited Counsellor, APA

‘With spirited energy, I found the author’s approach to addressing the greater portion of her life to be one of courage and determination. The text embraces the reader on this wonderfully written, uplifting journey.’

--John Williams, writer

‘Miriam is no stranger to setbacks, challenges, disappointments, and difficult experiences, but she found the strength to overcome the adversities she faced. Resilience is born out of adversity, and Miriam tells her story with passion and conviction. She shares how she found hope and strength to move forward toward her dreams, experienced growth, and rebuilt her life. Miriam now seeks to help others find the hope, faith, and resilience they need to realise their own dreams.’

--Jozefa Hoffmann, IM Caring Founder/CEO

© 2023 Miriam Everett-Jones

Published in 2023 in Australia by Empowered Choices Coaching

www.miriameverettjones.com

All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the Australian Copyright Act 1968, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without prior written permission from the publisher. All inquiries should be made to the author.

Author: Miriam Everett-Jones

Title: Resilience – A Journey Empowered by Hope

PRINT ISBN: 9780645664805

EBOOK ISBN: 9780645664812

Subjects: Personal Development | Memoir

Registered with the National Library of Australia

Disclaimer:

The material in this publication is of the nature of general comment only and does not represent professional advice. All material is provided for educational purposes only. We recommend to always seek the advice of a qualified professional before making any decision regarding personal and business needs. To the maximum extent permitted by law, the author and publisher disclaim all responsibility and liability to any person arising directly or indirectly from any person taking or not taking action based on the information in this publication.

To my family, who have always been my reason.

This story would not have been written without the driving force and motivation for everything, and that is my family.

It was because of them my resilience developed, as did my relationship with the One who built my faith to keep going.

Contents

Prologue

2. Finding My Wings

3. Following my Song

4. Double Vision

5. Return to Africa

6. Manna from Heaven

7. Recovery in Rhodesia

8. From London to Home

9. What is the Meaning of Life?

10. Life with Jay

11. From Lost to Found

12. From Peace to Turmoil

13. Redeeming Love

14. Seeking to Forgive

15. Starting Again

16. The Departure

17. The Faith Walk

18. Facing the Challenges

19. Living Between Two Worlds

20. Moving Forward Alone

21. Real Estate Success

22. Building the Dream

23. Attempts at Blending Family

24. Pushed to the Limit

25. Broken and Disempowered

26. Picking up The Pieces

27. Reflections

28. Moving Forward

The Key to Resilience

How Can I Help You?

Can You Help?

Special Thanks

About the Author

Prologue

To live for the moment was how I did life, with the ease and ability to change direction spontaneously or at least swiftly when the need arose. I realise, however, that my past has led me to a point where the life journey now doesn’t appear to have too many choices. I’m focusing on life as it currently is, which is imperfect but quite acceptable.

In other words, I’m preparing to settle for a season. I am aware, with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, that this season may be the next and last portion of my life. This crossroad predicament has been pondered endlessly and with it came the realisation that in a year or so, I knew I could achieve writing my story and getting it to print. I was aware that through the published book, doorways could open to becoming that inspirational public speaker, coach and mentor that has been a repeating dream for the last year.

My family has motivated most of my life choices, bringing me so much pleasure and purpose. Days with or without a partner/husband can also pass happily with hobbies surrounding music and song, fashion styling, fitness, painting, changing colour and mood with gardening, tango dancing, creative cooking, reading and friendships; so much to enjoy, including the anticipation of more travel and adventures.

But do I have the strength of mind and character to delve down into the pit of my soul and dredge up memories one more time? Throughout my life, there have been many times when it has felt like I was just grasping at the next rung of the rope ladder, believing in the strength to lift to one further rung. Sometimes it was to hold fast and breathe. Other times it was to battle again, using the various skills I had acquired on life’s journey to be an inspiration to others.

To move forward on this book writing challenge also means facing the threats and failures of the past. It means dark hours of writing and travelling down searing alleys that were once part of my life, and bringing to surface memories that I had locked away for long periods of time.

I wondered how this would change me and the uppermost question in my mind was, ‘Can I bear it all?’

Twelve years ago, I was working for a coaching company, selling coaching programs for clients in business. We would travel interstate to gather these clients into a community to inspire and encourage them, and they received a personal business coaching session with the company director and head coach. On our own turf in Brisbane, we would hold monthly evenings for our clients, whereby we would gather and one or two people would be preselected to tell their story. Whether that was well delivered or not, and whether they had made astounding progress in their business or not, we would all enthusiastically give them great applause and accolades. People would speak up and convey to them how some portion of what they shared had been an encouragement or an insight to keep going. It was always a very noisy, favourable, and clamorous event!

The day came when the director informed me that it was my turn to share my story this time. With horror, I back-pedalled and said there was no story at all. He assured me that everyone has a story to tell. Yes, that may be true, but not everyone is willing to lay bare their wounds. I put up a brave front in my everyday life, and my head was held high. I was well-presented and positive in my speech, but I was dying inside! I did not want to reveal myself and lay open to criticism and vulnerability. I had not recovered from my second divorce or my second bankruptcy. My victory was in my two children and my relationship with God. However, I was so shut down by disappointment, discouragement, and shame over my life.

I agonised over how I would present an honest appraisal of my current life while still encouraging and helping to build a positive vision for the future in the absence of any victory! I was so prayed up and seeking the Lord’s wisdom over this presentation that when I stood up, I slipped straight into the prophetic realm and shared some vision for two people for their future, and then I launched into my story. Were there any rousing and encouraging hand clapping, whistles, and exclamations with congratulatory back-pounding thumps at the end of my account? No!

Not a sound and nothing moved, and it felt like nobody even breathed. You could have heard a pin drop, and every eye was staring at me transfixed and I was unable to move. I had this burning desire to crawl under the carpet or rush out of the room. I finally unfroze and slunk back to my seat, with my head and eyes following some crazy pattern on the hideous carpet that miraculously led me to my table. I sat in the still and quiet room, where no muscle moved for what felt like an eternity. Then a loud, firm voice declared ‘Resilience’, and the book and the title were placed as a seed in my heart to be nurtured until the time for birthing.

Over time I have felt this book developing in me, and I rejected it repeatedly. The Lord was prompting me, and I fought every urge. I had become a born-again believer forty years ago and knew where this prompting was coming from, and I was compelled to take heed.

The Lord gave me a word of encouragement in January 2022 that this was not my story so much as it was His story in my life. I sat back from my computer's blank screen and said, ‘Well, this I can do. I can brag on You at any time!’ That relieved so much pressure, so I started writing, and words just tumbled out.

1

Finding My Wings

I was born to be a person unlike any other. My mother shook her head and said she had no idea where I got my convictions. From the age of four, my goals were formed when I spoke out that I wanted to nurse, travel and sing. I did everything to make that happen. My single doll was bandaged and splinted endlessly; my hero was Dr Kildare in a television series, and Florence Nightingale was my heroine.

Meanwhile, I belted out solos at church, learned the piano, and sat visitors down (sometimes forcibly) to listen to me jamming on my ukulele. Even at that young age, I was an entertainer, and I felt it. I was meant for the stage and the limelight, and I knew I would get there someday.

A fond memory I have of my early childhood days includes my grandfather. I met him at five when we moved from the South Island of New Zealand to the North, where my father's family resided. My father was built more like my tiny grandmother. When I met my grandfather, I was in awe of his great stature. I climbed up on his knee for the first time and immediately felt safe, secure, loved, and protected from the world. This security was vital to me, as my world had just turned upside down with the move.

As children, we had lived in the city of Christchurch most or all our lives, and then we were moved one afternoon when our parents took my two brothers and me out of school and headed to the wharf to board the ferry to Wellington in the North Island. There was no warning and no discussion on the matter. But what did matter to us was that we had not been allowed to say goodbye to our friends. We travelled overnight and then drove to the beautiful Bay of Plenty, moving onto a farm. This rural area was considerably milder in climate than Christchurch, particularly as we had a surf beach only a few minutes’ walk away.

My grandfather represented New Zealand in surf casting contests against Australia and loved fishing, among other pursuits. While we drove down the beach at great speed in his fishing Land Rover, laden with gear and fishy odours, I would sit on his knee, and I would be steering, and we would be singing at the tops of our voices and having the time of our lives. He was a driver of Jaguars and loved speed, figuring that he had a significant advantage over any police vehicle, so he was safe. 'What hope did we have?' I would mutter many years later when I lost my license for speeding the first and the second time.

I wasn’t allowed to learn French in school, but I did help my elder brother with his short season of homework in French. That opened vistas of exploring France and hopefully living there for a season. I dreamt of exploring strange and exotic lands because I could speak fluent French. Alas! In my last two junior years, I was rudely awakened with, ‘It’s a complete waste of time, and you will never use it’. I still struggle to learn French. Living in France for at least six months and being able to speak some standard of French is still on my bucket list.

Holidaymakers loved the seaside town where we lived, but I was already plotting an escape by the time I was twelve. There was a successful boutique in town owned by a young Swedish couple with whom I spent much time, and I spent my early teen years in their stimulating and adventurous company. Talking to them made the world and unpredictable adventures come to our town. They then decided it was time to move on. So, I abandoned my fledging fashion career and returned to my childhood dream. I was to begin my nursing career at seventeen, but for the moment, I was trapped in a small town with no prospects. Fortunately, my two older brothers allowed me to hang out with them and their friends.

My passion for nursing grew as I studied and applied my knowledge in the wards. It satisfied my very being. I immediately moved into the nurse's accommodation and loved the buzz of other people of similar age, although the curfews were tough! Life was busy, but it stepped up a notch when I met a folk-singing threesome. I also joined them, and we worked on perfecting already soulful harmonies and experimenting with our music. Our sound and sophistication developed, and before long, we found ourselves performing cabaret on Saturday nights in Rotorua, an hour’s journey from Tauranga, where we all lived. Because we couldn’t remove our sound gear from the cabaret rooms