Ostler's Ford by Lamplight

By Rich Evans

An original play for voices inspired by 'Under Milk Wood.'

 

Written in verse, 'Ostler's Ford by Lamplight' follows the narrator, and the picaresque Master of Time, as they make their magical, mystical way through the peaceful streets, interacting with inhabitants. They delve into the dreams of sleepers, pulling invisible puppet strings, and influencing them irrevocably towards their fates. 

 

Residents of the fictional, fenland town include know-it-all busybodies and lovelorn college students. As the reader is transported on a meandering journey through the back alleys behind terraced houses that border the river, they cross paths with an ageing theatrical has-been; an over-the-hill footballer; a depressed barista, and a pair of small-time crooks. The stories of all the residents are entwined - from the lowly employees of the local cabbage factory, to a preacher struggling with his faith. En route, Evelyn Waugh's ghost appears, dispensing advice to a jealous underachiever. And, later, an old-age pensioner falls into a sleep from which she is destined not to wake.

 

The play's action all takes place over the course of an evening. When the next day dawns, heartbreaks have been healed; despair has been diverted; love has triumphed; death has cast its shadow, and hope has endured. The full gamut of human emotions has been successfully navigated, and the natural order of things is restored.

 

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: JURASSIC PRODUCTIONS
• Release date: Jan 16, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215982969

Rich Evans

Rich Evans is a writer based on the south coast of the UK. He has a musical background, having written, produced and toured internationally both as a solo artist, and also with bands. Rich has previously written lyrics for publishing companies in both the USA and Europe. As well as 'Ostler's Ford by Lamplight,' he has also written the script and score for a stage musical, and is co-writing a dystopian novel set in an alternate version of the 1950s. Rich also writes, co-presents, and produces the Spotify/Apple podcast ‘Bob Dylan: American Shakespeare.’

Book preview

A PLAY FOR VOICES

CHARACTER LIST

NARRATOR

Recounts the play’s key events.

MASTER OF TIME

A magical, mystical, picaresque character who interacts with each of the town’s inhabitants over the course of the evening. He is also referred to as THE SWEEPER OF DREAMS.

BLIND-TWITCHING MARGARET

A neighbourhood busybody.

CHAR LADY JAYNE

A neighbourhood busybody.

SMALL WORLD WILLIAM

A jealous, hateful underachiever with a superiority complex.

JOSEPH COLLEGE

A love-struck student with big dreams who feels shackled by his small-town existence.

SUZIE SHAHRAZAD

A character who presents as a femme fatale, but who shares JOSEPH COLLEGE’S frustrations with Ostler’s Ford.

BREAK-YER-LEGS FONTAINE

A former professional footballer who was injured in the early days of his career, and who mourns what might have been.

CRYSTAL FONTAINE

A former actress whose stage career was cut short by a shot from a pistol; it was presumed to be a theatrical prop but was actually loaded.

CHURCHILL DE PFEFFL

A small-town politician who strives to convince himself he has achieved greatness.

GWYN

A snobbish, insecure pensioner who spends his days trying to keep up with the Joneses.

MR FAIRBANKS

An employee at the local cabbage factory.

MRS FAIRBANKS

An employee at the local cabbage factory.

MERRY JERRY COFFEE VAN ZANDT

A suicidal folksinger turned barista who has previously travelled the world.

GLADYS

An old-aged pensioner who will die tonight.

CLEVER TREVOR

An inept local petty criminal.

SHARK TOOTH TOM

An inept local petty criminal.

PC ONASSIS

The local police constable.

PREACHER AMOS

The local clergyman who is struggling with a loss of faith.

EVELYN WAUGH’S GHOST

Visible only to SMALL WORLD WILLIAM.

OSTLER’S FORD BY LAMPLIGHT

NARRATOR

In his great grey tower that reaches high up to the heavens, above the pollen of the flowers and the echoes of the engines, lives the Master of Time. Restless crows bedeck the balcony of his block; coal black and cawing for carrion. But we zoom in, hawk-eyed through the whitewashed windows of his nondescript Formica-furnished flat; damp on the  walls and a piled-high Lady Di ashtray. Step in, through graffiti-garnished doors and cat hair on the floor and enter the gilded, garish grandeur of the sitting room. It’s here... here he watches the snooker. Here he makes the decisions; we’re all just ant-like grains of sand and molecules in his visions where, amid takeaway tin cans and chewing tobacco, he ruminates on which towns need saving. Which relationships need rearranging.  Which politicians’ minds need changing, while he waits for inspiration to strike. 

MASTER OF TIME

One potato... Two potato... Three potato... Four...

NARRATOR

And he drifts off to sleep, counting sheep and staring; snoring soporifically as the hands of the clock spin round. And round. And round...

MASTER OF TIME

(Snoring) Five potato...

Six potato...

Seven potato...

More...

NARRATOR

Tonight, it’s the turn of Ostler’s Ford. A quiet little town that nobody’s heard of and nobody visits. But on the phone there, fervently discussing the gossip, are Blind Twitching Margaret and Char Lady Jayne. You can set your watch by them; they’re always the same, digging through insignificance and superficiality to create a narrative of life from their observatories - behind their net-curtained castles of nosiness, dispensing eternal damnation for any who threaten the cosiness of their comfortably boring existences.

BLIND-TWITCHING MARGARET

I swear that Mrs Miggins has won the jackpot on the Pools. I saw her out yesterday in a brand-new pair of stilettos. That’s the second time this week, and that cardigan...

CHAR LADY JAYNE

Oh, I know! She’s a secretive one alright. It’s a mind-boggling mysterious murmur of fate though. What with her Arthur and what he’s been