Stories On Self-Esteem: Whatever You Want To Achieve, ou ust First Conceive And Believe

By Jay Lambert

In writing this book at 79, I ask myself, what are some lessons I’ve learned that could have made my life easier? The predominant thought would have been the knowledge that almost everyone felt the same sense of inadequacy as I did. To question our capability when contrasted against others is normal. I like the quote from Einstein: “Everybody’s a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” Whether you are in your youth when it seems life goes on forever, or if you have decades of scars and successes, failings, or fortune–every story is written to give you more direct access to the path toward happiness by applying an altered perspective of your reality. Each story shines a light on a different facet of why no one should see themselves as inferior. Everyone fails. All of us do stupid things, and a majority of these tales are about my mistaken moments. Some are embarrassing, and that’s OK. This book is the medicine that can cure the wildly destructive belief, “I’m not smart enough to try.”

• Language: English
• Publisher: Publishdrive
• Release date: Jan 8, 2023

Book preview

Dedication

Dedicated to the average people who realize that they might possibly have more potential for growth. Yes, you might be smarter than you think.

Introduction

In writing this book at age 79, I ask myself, what are some lessons I’ve learned that could have made my life easier. I had many thoughts, many of which are included in these books.  However, the predominant idea was the knowledge that I held myself back because of my unfounded self-imposed sense of inadequacy. Of equal importance was that almost everyone around me felt that same sense of mental sparseness. (Just think about the last time you contemplated giving a speech.)

To feel that our potential is cast in concrete means we will mistakenly live a mediocre life. Here is the truth. Our imperfections are not unalterable. It is a lie when the speech we didn’t give, the attractive person we didn’t approach, or the question we didn’t ask, is blocked by that inner voice whispering, Don’t embarrass yourself. You will look foolish and they are smarter than you. To believe this is a tragedy. We are condemned to mediocrity by listening to these negative voices, when instead we should hear, Yes, this is an idea I can make happen. I can do this.

To question our capability when contrasted against others is normal. Whether you are in your youth when it seems life goes on forever, or if you have decades of scars and successes, failings, or fortune–every one of the following stories is written to give you more direct access to the path toward happiness by applying an altered viewpoint to your reality. Each story shines a light on a different facet of why no one should see themselves as inferior. Everyone fails. All of us do stupid things, and a majority of what I’ve written is about my mistaken moments. Some are embarrassing, and that’s OK. This book is the medicine that can cure the wildly destructive belief, I’m not smart enough to try.

Opening

There is something I call the Echo Factor.  All of the things we have been told all our lives are like shouting into a canyon. For example, if you shout, You are incapable and a big dummy! It comes back slightly reduced in volume, big dummy-big dummy-big-dummy.  This is the same as if we give ourselves the affirmation, I am capable and significant but at first it comes back as You are a big dummy, big dummy, big dummy. This is because for so long we had built up a big negative, and it takes time to wash out these negatives, just like a stain we might have in a sponge.  To bring about a change, we must maintain our volume for the first 30 days to overcome these old thought patterns. Eventually, the new echo will prevail.  So, let’s see what we can learn in the next nine chapters.

Chapter 1

Water In Your Ignition



toyotatercel-2.jpg

My dependable, comfortable Toyota Tercel station wagon needed a wash. After cleaning the exterior, I raised the hood, and just as I had done many times before, I used the high-pressure wand to blast the goo out of the engine compartment. To make sure I didn’t have trouble starting a wet engine, I cleverly left it running, knowing the heat would keep everything dry. How could I go wrong!

Wash completed; I lowered the hood, got in the car, and put it in gear. As expected, my Toyota smoothly moved out of the stall. Once again, I had gotten away with splashing copious amounts of water in a place you would normally not want to get wet.

Leaving the carwash, I pulled up to the edge of the road, waiting for a chance to move into traffic. When an opening occurred, I hit the gas—and the engine stopped. No problem. I re-started it easily; however, when I put it in gear, it immediately stopped. Starting it a third time, I could rev the engine, but when I put it into drive, my motor stopped momentarily and then ran backward.

I wasn’t as bright as I thought. Water had gotten into the electrical system. For those of you who have never made this mistake, you probably already knew that water in your engine’s electrical system will make it function strangely.

Reflecting on my monumental misconception, I thought, what a perfect analogy for the people who, while possessing the ability to excel, instead struggled because they don’t see themselves as capable. It is as if they have water in the ignition of an otherwise fully functioning mind. These people idle well and even move slowly when in gear. In neutral, they can rev their mental motors making loud and impressive sounds, but they are more likely to stop, stall, or run backward when under pressure.  A lot of these people, if they can get their car moving, keep driving, hoping that their vehicle will run smoothly over time — but it never does.

Unfortunately, with people what makes their sense of inadequacy worse is they keep restarting and stopping as they struggle to keep their lives moving, all the while hoping time will get the water out. This approach doesn’t work.

My car analogy differs for you and me because it isn’t water in our electrical system — it’s a corrosion-of-attitude where we feel we are not intelligent enough for the task. Our water is the misplaced belief we are not up to moving above mediocre.

The oft-repeated statement we have all heard No one is perfect is an absolute certainty, but we forget the flip side being Everyone is imperfect. We forget to see this universal truth. One-hundred percent of us are flawed. There are no exceptions. Every other person you directly know, hear about, or see portrayed in the media does dumb things, and much of the time that individual presumes their behavior is rational, regardless of how illogical or insane such actions may be.

This book is about making a few adjustments to get the water out of our ignition. It’s the move from where