A Maid for Two Maestros: A New Comedy in Verse Inspired by Carlo Goldoni’S: “The Servant of Two Master’S”

By John Ross Jr

A Maid for Two Maestros commences in the Chicago penthouse of Judge Pantalone Englandetti, where festivity is underway to applaud the betrothal of his lovely daughter Clarice to attorney Silvio Lombardi, the handsome son of Dr. Maria Lombardi. As the wedding agreement is being celebrated with song, dance and melodic merriment high above Lake Michigan, the outlandish and amusing Truffaldina enters to announce the arrival of her virtuoso mentor: the great maestro Federico Rasponi of Boston. Inspired by Carlo Goldoni’s classic: The Servant of Two Masters, this contemporary version by John Ross, Jr., is steeped in clever comedic verse, stage magic and tap-dancing midst fine Italian cuisine. A Maid for Two Maestros is an enchanting new play steeped in masked celebration of Commedia dell’arte. An amusing delight for contemporary audiences, both old and young.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jan 4, 2023
• ISBN: 9781669861386

John Ross Jr

John Ross, Jr. holds graduate degrees from Harvard (ALM), Boston University (STM, Theology) and Loyola University Chicago (MPS, Pastoral Studies) He currently resides in Chicago where he teaches in the department of Communication, Media and Theatre at Northeastern Illinois University. Ross is also the author of two previous science and religion poetry collections: Where the Designer Came From: Evolution, Creation, Hominids and the Skirmish of the Double Helix; and Cosmotrinity: Newton, Einstein, Hawking with the Origins of the Anthropic Principle and a Curtsy Toward QEDEM (Time), POST-MODERN THOUGHTS ON THE CLOCK.

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Copyright © 2023 by John Ross, Jr.

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Rev. date: 12/29/2022

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Contents

Act One

Act Two

DRAMATIS PERSONAE

PANTALONE ENGLANDETTI (masked), A very well-dressed and elderly British judge and highly successful businessman. A literate musical enthusiast. He wears a stylized English judicial robe and official wig. He speaks with a very distinguished British accent.

CLARICE ENGLANDETTI, a beautiful young Chicago socialite and daughter of Judge Pantalone Englandetti. She speaks with an American accent.

SMERALDINO (DINO) HOUNDSTOOTH (masked), Friend, butler and law clerk of Pantalone. He is handsome yet a bit bashful at times. He always reverently removes his mask whenever he addresses the audience. He speaks with a charming London accent.

DOCTOR MARIA LOMBARDI (masked), A retired and distinguished Italian American physician and classics scholar. She is quite cultured and speaks with a distinguished Italian accent. She wears a stylized lab coat; and dons her personal stethoscope as if a lavish necklace. She often wears high heels and loves conducting choral music.

SILVIO LOMBARDI, Very handsome son of Dr. Lombardi. He is wealthy and romantically ambitious. He is a graduate of the University of Chicago School of Law

BRIGHELLA RIGATONI (masked.) A young teenage neighbor of Pantalone. He his handsome, clever and energetic. He performs magic and always politely removes his mask when speaking to the audience. He has charisma and is also a dancer.

BEATRICE RASPONI, The twin sister of Fredrico Rasponi. She is virtually indistinguishable from her brother in every manner of composure. She is a pianist and burgeoning conductor.

MAESTRO GIOVANNI FLORINDO, A young handsome maestro and music professor from Boston.

FILOMENA TRUFFALDINA (elegantly masked), A young and gifted student musician and composer. She is a talented woodwind instrumentalist, witty and quite amusing. She is very self-assured and yet at times quite insecure. She is physically attractive and is preposterously well-dressed to the nines in various shades of colors. Her overall apparel is quite outlandish yet stylish and alluring. She adores fashionable shoes and loves to eat great food. She often wears high heels in various scenes along with lovely headwear.

PORTER (masked and with a hat.) He or she is reminiscent of a modern-day harlequin. WAITERS (all masked.) They sing, tap dance and can perform juggling and other carnival acts as needed for spectacle and entertainment.

TIME: The real and yet, the very absurd present. There is sometimes a sense of a contemporary realistic ethos, but at times we are ever aware of the grotesque; and the presence of the commedia dell’arte heritage of the play. Characters are often realistic, and then at times quite exaggerated and surreal depending upon their lines, underscoring music, personal motives and outlandish actions.

COSTUMES: The entire cast is largely in formal contemporary dress. Each character is donned in solid and monochromatic colors of varying hues of the same color. The use of stylized masks is highly encouraged. Masks should be subtle, coordinated with each character’s costume; and should only be surrounding the eyes and possibly the nose for some characters. The idea here is to be both contemporary and yet still have a residual hint of the great commedia dell’arte heritage from which the play originates. The costumer should be creative, unique and above all: elegant and yet entertaining.

MUSICAL ENSEMBLE (with PERCUSSION and PIANO): The musical ensemble may be visibly present (featured on or slightly off-stage) for musical underscoring and for appropriate scene changes. In the absence of live music, recorded music may be appropriately employed.

ACT ONE

SCENE 1

A posh living room in the elegant skyscraper penthouse of PANTALONE ENGLANDETTI. As the audience takes their seats, we see a scrim of the contemporary Chicago skyline dominated by the Hancock Tower. As the lights dim and the audience is in complete darkness, we begin to hear an oboe composition followed by other woodwinds. As the lights then rise on stage, we immediately see a crowd of merrymakers gathered around a piano. They are regaling with a joyous Italian melody. DR. MARIA LOMBARDI is having pleasure directing the entire affair with her conducting baton. She (along with many others) is also sipping a cocktail throughout this opening scene.

CROWD: (After the song ends, slightly inebriated they raise their glasses) Hooray! Hippie-hiccups! Oh, my happy Jupiter days! Burps galore! (They all laugh.) All meatball farts (Laughs.) We gather around the marriage keyboard! Wedding Cheers! Bravo!

DR. LOMBARDI: Bravo indeed! All our Jupiter days! High up in skyscraper skies, we hail each note: sharp and low: and now let us toast (Raising glasses): to our couple above the calm Chicago river below!

CROWD: Bravo! Bravissimo! Il Rio Chicago!

SILVIO: (Raising his glass looking at CLARICE.) The river now flowing quietly, soft, whispering, tender and smooth as a light-windy breeze! (He elegantly dances in silhouette and is reminiscent of stereotypical commedia dell’arte choreography.) My very own sweet and flowing…River Clarice!

PANTALONE: Well, spirit-on my dear, dear daughter. Spirit-on! Don’t be shy it’s un-amorous. Join him! Don’t! Be shy, welcome your groove! We are all here! High up and the quiet river below, we await your every-nuptial…move! (CLARICE blows a ritualistic and choreographed hug and kiss toward SILVIO, as the crowd applauds. There is now a short commedia-style courtship dance between them.

DR. LOMBARDI: (Applauds.) A nimble simple ritual and you’re engaged like two Lake Michigan fish in love! Young glimmering rainbow trout, high-up and midst the flaming Chi town sky.

CLARICE: Silvio, here is my hand and with it my eager heart. By Venus, I promise to be your companion...and never, ever sever, or endeavor to depart! (All applaud.)

SILVIO: And I to be your ever-loving spouse. Sweet, and quiet as a morning sunrise or a solemn (Pause as he thinks.), Vatican mouse! (Laughter and applause as a few in the crowd reverently cross themselves. All freeze as CLARICE stares at SILVIO with wistful eyes. They ritualistically take hands in silhouette. There is a slight bit of solemn choreography as SILVIO places a ring on CLARICE’S hand. They embrace, kiss and then bow as the crowd then applauds and breaks their freeze.

DR. LOMBARDI: (Tapping her conductor baton.) Bravissimo! Bravissimo! Well done. (Applause.) Now, it’s just about to be authorized, and there’s no turning the river back! No re-routing the course of the river this time. No whirling in return! No turning away! Iaca est. The die has been cast!

CROWD: The die has been cast!

PANTALONE: Yes. The die has been cast! The great goddess above: sweet Venus has witnessed all from her garment of destined love.

CROWD: (Men only.) Above all skyscrapers and the river below she is robed for all to witness …for all to know!

CROWD: (Women only.) …and now her very own blessing, a blessing from great Venus to bestow!

PANTALONE: Indeed, the die has been cast! (All applaud again.) Venus is ever pleased with joy and bliss…

DR. LOMBARDI: And now she commands our couple: toast, hug, embrace and kiss!

SMERALDINO: (He briefly removes his mask and in an aside to the audience) Go ahead, you may applaud as well. Please do! A lucky young Clarice will now be steeped in more cash, coinage and currencies galore. Fortunate young lass! For her, a providential day. (He takes out a few brightly colored items and juggles them.) So, what do you think? I love to jiggle, and juggle and dear Pantalone loves to juggle too! Everything from amorous situations to his creative finances and inventive bookkeeping! (He juggles briefly again, takes a bow and places his mask back on.)

PANTALONE: (to BRIGHELLA) You, dear Brighella, be witness to the formal rendezvous concerning my fortunate daughter Clarice and the silver-silvery Signore Silvio. Indeed, an event fit for a private ceremonial vacation.

BRIGHELLA: It’s a treat, sir. Oh yes, a fortunate honor and my privileged non-priestly blessing…my honored consecration! My calling and now my vocation! (BRIGHELLA ceremoniously places his hands out over the couple and chants a beautiful sung blessing in gibberish.)

CROWD: (All applaud.) Amen! Amen!

PANTALONE: (To LOMBARDI.) You’re the conductor of honor, let’s make this wedding an intimate affair. Only privacy and extravagance will rule. I’m not one of those architects of the bride who invites everybody, each mammal attaché or beastly diplomat within the urban metropolis.

DR. LOMBARDI: Correct! Indeed, not for scavengers. No way! Not a celebration for every urban-industrial aardvark, business flamingo or Lincoln Park Zoo…hippopotamus. (Applause.)

PANTALONE: No! Not so. Not to impress every high hat and tall skirt in greater Chicagoland. (Applause.) This is like local London royalty. No unauthorized guests or intruders on the wedding roster.

DR. LOMBARDI: No! Indeed, not. Indeed, we must remain measured and festival-alert from every local phony or nigh midwestern…imposter!

PANTALONE: I’m quite sure at last, and our dear