Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

By Anita Loos

This witty social satire of the Jazz Age follows the escapades of gold-digging flapper Lorelei Lee and her best friend, Dorothy, from New York to Europe.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dover Publications
• Release date: Dec 14, 2022
• ISBN: 9780486851556

Anita Loos

Anita Loos (1888-1981) was an American playwright and novelist. Born in California, Loos was raised in a family of newspaper publishers. She was raised in San Francisco, where she would follow her father, a journalist and businessman, on fishing trips and other excursions to the city’s impoverished areas. She worked as an actress in her teens, eventually becoming the main provider for her family due to her father’s struggle with alcoholism. After graduating high school, Loos worked as a writer for several publications and submitted her first screenplay in 1911, for which she was paid $25. In 1912, her screenplay The New York Hat was turned into a successful silent film by D.W. Griffith, an early Hollywood legend. For the next several years, she found steady work as a writer for Griffith, receiving her first screen credit for a production of Macbeth. In 1918, she moved with her husband John Emerson to New York, where she found some success on a film for William Randolph Hurst’s mistress Marion Davies, as well as on several features starring Constance Talmadge. In 1925, she adapted a series of sketches originally published in Harper’s Bazaar to form Gentleman Prefer Blondes, a highly successful comic novel that earned her fame, fortune, and adoration from such writers as William Faulkner and Aldous Huxley. Dubbed “the great American novel” by Edith Wharton, Gentleman Prefer Blondes would be adapted countless times for theater and film, including the 1953 classic starring Marilyn Monroe.

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Bibliographical Note

This Dover edition, first published in 2022, is an unabridged republication of the text of the work first published by Boni & Liveright, New York, in 1925. The original illustrations have been omitted for this edition. Readers should note that the text contains idiosyncratic spellings and punctuation that reflect the unique voice of the main character; these misspellings are intentional and are not typographical errors.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Loos, Anita, 1893–1981, author.

Title: Gentlemen prefer blondes / Anita Loos.

Description: Dover edition. | Garden City, New York: Dover Publications, 2022. | Summary: This witty social satire of the Jazz Age follows the escapades of gold-digging flapper Lorelei Lee and her best friend, Dorothy, from New York to Europe. Originally written as a series of short stories in Harper’s Bazaar, the book has inspired many adaptations for stage and screen, its most famous being the 1953 film starring Marilyn Monroe, in which she sang ‘Diamonds Are a Girl’s Best Friend.’ —Provided by publisher.

Identifiers: LCCN 2022034399 | ISBN 9780486850733 (paperback)

Subjects: BISAC: FICTION / Classics | FICTION / Humorous / General

Classification: LCC PS3523.O557 G4 2022 | DDC 813/.52—dc23

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2022034399

Manufactured in the United States of America

www.doverpublications.com

To

John Emerson

Contents

CHAPTER ONE

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

CHAPTER TWO

Fate Keeps On Happening

CHAPTER THREE

London Is Really Nothing

CHAPTER FOUR

Paris Is Devine

CHAPTER FIVE

The Central of Europe

CHAPTER SIX

Brains Are Really Everything

CHAPTER ONE

GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES

CHAPTER ONE

gentlemen prefer blondes

March 16th:

A gentleman friend and I were dining at the Ritz last evening and he said that if I took a pencil and a paper and put down all of my thoughts it would make a book. This almost made me smile as what it would really make would be a whole row of encyclopediacs. I mean I seem to be thinking practically all of the time. I mean it is my favorite recreation and sometimes I sit for hours and do not seem to do anything else but think. So this gentleman said a girl with brains ought to do something else with them besides think. And he said he ought to know brains when he sees them, because he is in the senate and he spends quite a great deal of time in Washington, d.c., and when he comes into contract with brains he always notices it. So it might have all blown over but this morning he sent me a book. And so when my maid brought it to me, I said to her, Well, Lulu, here is another book and we have not read half the ones we have got yet. But when I opened it and saw that it was all a blank I remembered what my gentleman acquaintance said, and so then I realized that it was a diary. So here I am writing a book instead of reading one.

But now it is the 16th of March and of course it is to late to begin with January, but it does not matter as my gentleman friend, Mr. ­Eisman, was in town practically all of January and February, and when he is in town one day seems to be practically the same as the next day.

I mean Mr. Eisman is in the wholesale button profession in Chicago and he is the gentleman who is known practically all over Chicago as Gus Eisman the Button King. And he is the gentleman who is interested in educating me, so of course he is always coming down to New York to see how my brains have improved since the last time. But when Mr. Eisman is in New York we always seem to do the same thing and if I wrote down one day in my diary, all I would have to do would be to put quotation marks for all other days. I mean we always seem to have dinner at the Colony and see a show and go to the Trocadero and then Mr. Eisman shows me to my apartment. So of course when a gentleman is interested in educating a girl, he likes to stay and talk about the topics of the day until quite late, so I am quite fatigued the next day and I do not really get up until it is time to dress for dinner at the Colony.

It would be strange if I turn out to be an authoress. I mean at my home near Little Rock, Arkansas, my family all wanted me to do something about my music. Because all of my friends said I had talent and they all kept after me and kept after me about practising. But some way I never seemed to care so much about practising. I mean I simply could not sit for hours and hours at a time practising just for the sake of a career. So one day I got quite tempermental and threw the old mandolin clear across the room and I have really never touched it since. But writing is different because you do not have to learn or practise and it is more tempermental because practising seems to take all the temperment out of me. So now I really almost have to smile because I have just noticed that I have written clear across two pages onto March 18th, so this will do for today and tomorrow. And it just shows how tempermental I am when I get started.

March 19th:

Well last evening Dorothy called up and Dorothy said she has met a gentleman who gave himself an introduction to her in the lobby of the Ritz. So then they went to luncheon and tea and dinner and then they went to a show and then they went to the Trocadero. So Dorothy said his name was Lord Cooksleigh but what she really calls him is Coocoo. So Dorothy said why don’t you and I and Coocoo go to the Follies tonight and bring Gus along if he is in town? So then Dorothy and I had quite a little quarrel because every time that Dorothy mentions the subject of Mr. Eisman she calls Mr. Eisman by his first name, and she does not seem to realize that when a gentleman who is as important as Mr. Eisman, spends quite a lot of money educating a girl, it really does not show reverance to call a gentleman by his first name. I mean I never even think of calling Mr.Eisman by his first name, but if I want to call him anything at all, I call him Daddy and I do not even call him Daddy if a place seems to be public. So I told Dorothy that Mr. Eisman would not be in town until day after tomorrow. So then Dorothy and Coocoo came up and we went to the Follies.

So this morning Coocoo called up and he wanted me to luncheon at the Ritz. I mean these foreigners really have quite a nerve. Just because Coocoo is an Englishman and a Lord he thinks a girl can waste hours on him just for a luncheon at the Ritz, when all he does is talk about some exposition he went on to a place called Tibet and after talking for hours I found out that all they were was a lot of Chinamen. So I will be quite glad to see Mr. Eisman when he gets in. Because he always has something quite interesting to talk about, as for instants the last time he was here he presented me with quite a beautiful emerald bracelet. So next week is my birthday and he always has some delightful surprise on holidays.

I did intend to luncheon at the Ritz with Dorothy today and of course Coocoo had to spoil it, as I told him that I could not ­luncheon with him today, because my brother was in town on business and had the mumps, so I really could not leave him alone. Because of course if I went to the Ritz now I would bump into Coocoo. But I sometimes almost have to smile at my own imagination, because of course I have not got any brother and I have not even thought of the mumps for years. I mean it is no wonder that I can write.

So the reason I thought I would take luncheon at the Ritz was because Mr. Chaplin is at the Ritz and I always like to renew old acquaintances, because I met Mr. Chaplin once when we were both working on the same lot in Hollywood and I am sure he would remember me. Gentlemen always seem to remember blondes. I mean the only career I would like to be besides an authoress is a cinema star and I was doing quite well in the cinema when Mr. Eisman made me give it all up. Because of course when a gentleman takes such a friendly interest in educating a girl as Mr. Eisman does, you like to show that you appreciate it, and he is against a girl being in the cinema because his mother is authrodox.

March 20th:

Mr. Eisman gets in tomorrow to be here in time for my birthday. So I thought it would really be delightful to have at least one good time before Mr. Eisman got in, so last evening I had some literary gentlemen in to spend the evening because Mr. Eisman always likes me to have literary people in and out of the apartment. I mean he is quite anxious for a girl to improve her mind and his greatest interest in me is because I always seem to want to improve my mind and not waste any time. And Mr. Eisman likes me to have what the French people call a salo which means that people all get together in the evening and improve their minds. So I invited all of the brainy gentlemen I could think up. So I thought up a gentleman who is the proffessor of all of the economics up at Columbia College, and the editor who is the famous editor of the New York Transcript and another gentleman who is a famous playright who writes very, very famous plays that are all about Life. I mean anybody would recognize his name but it always seems to slip my memory because all of we real friends of his only call him Sam. So Sam asked if he could bring a gentleman who writes novels from England, so I said yes, so he brought him. And then we all got together and I called up Gloria and Dorothy and the gentleman brought their own liquor. So of course the place was a wreck this morning and Lulu and I worked like proverbial dogs to get it cleaned up, but Heaven knows how long it will take to get the chandelier fixed.

March 22nd:

Well my birthday has come and gone but it was really quite depressing. I mean it seems to me a gentleman who has a friendly interest in educating a girl like Gus Eisman, would want her to have the biggest square cut diamond in New York. I mean I must say I was quite disappointed when he came to the apartment with a little thing you could hardly see. So I told him I thought it was quite cute, but I had quite a headache and I had better stay in a

Reviews for Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

[fionaanne · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

When I came across this book, I was compelled to own it; I love Folio Society editions and the movie is one of my favorites (mostly for the fashion and music). I was not disappointed but its quite different from the movie plot. The humour is clearly era-dependent and modern readers need to adapt the right mindset to enjoy this (and most reviewers obvs haven't sadly).

[leslie398 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Review of the audiobook edition:
This Audible edition starts with an introduction and a preface (I guess) which are labelled as Chapters 1 and 2. If, like me, you prefer to skip introductions, then start with Chapter 3!

Patrice O'Neill's voice was excellent for this novel; a bit reminiscent of Marilyn Monroe in the film version but not overly so.

[yarb_1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

The satire here is so blunt and heavy it's absolutely numbing. Lorelei's misspellings, malapropisms and imbecilic intonation are completely OTT, making the book a tiring experience despite its brevity. Starting every single sentence with "so," or "I mean," for 200+ pages is actually an interesting experiment in punishment prose: I could only manage 20 or so pages at a time before tapping out. Our heroines's stay in England, where everyone is desperate to raise cash by flogging her their ancestral tat, is kinda funny. But the mockery of the French (lecherous and unhygienic) and Germans (sausage- and beer-guzzlers) falls lamentably flat. Satire demands restraint: Lorelei visiting "a gallery full of Kunst" is funny. Retreading the joke twenty times in 10 pages, not so much. As Froyd might say of this overrated flapper parody — cloche, but no cigar. Actually who am I kidding, he probably loved it like everybody else.

[gbill_7 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Anita Loos sank her literary fingernails into women who are vapid gold diggers by writing this novella from the point of view of a ditzy blonde, Lorelei Lee. She seems ditzy, that is, but her actions show she’s pretty smart about extracting money and jewels out of the men who come across her path. The book thus satirizes men as well, as even through the lens of Lorelei, we see that they have just one thing on their minds, even the 90 year old father of one of the men she’s seeing. It also gets a few jabs in at the movie world, which is interesting given her work at such an early age in the nascent industry. Edith Wharton called this “the greatest novel since Manon Lescaut,” and in 1925 the sharpness of its satire was probably particularly pointed and original. For me, reading the words of such an airhead grew tiring even with the book’s short length, though it finishes strong and has some funny moments. The comments she relays of her friend Dorothy in particular stand out, and reading the book evokes Jane Russell’s version of her in the 1953 film adaptation.

[kcshankd · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I ended up liking this more than I thought I would, it is startling to realize that it was written more than 90 years ago. There were several moments that I laughed out loud. I need to re-watch one of the movies.

[gracez-1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I found this book to be very entertaining and extremely silly. Although i its short I had to read it in chunks because it started to grate on me after too much time, so it took a while. That said, the voice of the protagonist was endearing and funny and it was a great fun read.

[cstaylor24 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

While at times it was entertaining and hilarious, I was mostly bored as I read the book. Lorelei is extraordinarily brainless and the best parts are where she is being insulted and takes it as a compliment. Loos does a brilliant job of capturing Lorelei's character in the words and how she uses them on the page (intentionally rife with misspellings and repeated words (very 90s Valley Girl esque only "so" and "and" and "really" instead of "like" and "totally").

[deltaqueen50 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes is a humorous novel written by Anita Loos and first published in 1925. Although many are familiar with the 1953 movie version starring Marilyn Monroe, the novel is a satire and was probably one of the first introductions of the ditzy blonde. Lorelei Lee is a fantastic character and the book is set up to read as her diary. We follow Lorelei as she travels from New York to London and Paris, entertaining and gathering gifts from her gentlemen friends along the way. Of course, the author has created a memorial character and one who is a lot smarter than her appearance would lead you to believe. Gold-digger Lorelei knows both her own worth and the worth of the expensive gifts she expects and receives from her admirers. In Gentlemen Prefer Blondes Anita Loos cleverly pokes fun at class, religion, politics and culture. And as Lorelei goes about manipulating her gentlemen callers, her diary spares no one and is very funny. This is a very short novel or novella but it is crammed with memorable and highly quotable lines. Marilyn Monroe and her iconic performance in the movie immediately spring to mind when I read lines such as “Kissing your hand may make you feel very good, but a diamond bracelet lasts forever” .I found this a light, delightful and entertaining story.

[seriousgrace · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This was a positively silly book and it almost embarrassed me to be reading it. Luckily, it was incredibly short (less than 200 pages) so I was able to get through it in one weekend. It is the journal of Lorelei Lee, a Midwest girl making her way in the New York City with gal pal Dorothy. Lorelei's idea of making her way is to see how many men she can charm into "educating" her with their wallets. Gentlemen Prefer Blondes is Lorelei's diary from March 16th to July 10th and chronicles (complete with spelling and grammatical errors) her trip to Paris, France and Europe beyond all the while juggling many different male suitors. She starts nearly every sentence with "So" to the point where it got on my nerves the way someone says "like" all the time (and not the "like" on FaceBook, although that can get annoying as well). Lorelei uses shopping as her weapon and is quite good at it. I had a few laugh out loud moments. My recommendation is to find the 195 version. The illustrations are priceless.

[rion_32 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I felt that Lorelei's sense of value was different from mine when Iread this book.Perhaps my thought is childish. But I don't understand her thought which is like money is all.

[lubak_2 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This book is like a diary. Lerelei is a main character. She has many diamonds and many clever friends. She travel many places, she met many person. She likes gentleman who give her diamond. But she finally decide to marry a man who...I don't think I like diary style. I felt it was long but I like story of this book. I think money is important but it is not everything in our life.

[tomoyoh_3 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Lorelei has a lot of diamonds . And she can go to expensive restaurants thanks of her gentlemen friends.I think money is everything .In my life , of course , I need money to live healthy .But the most important things are another .For example , family , friends , lover , hobby , favorite work .....After reading , I thought I will spend my life cheerfuly and enjoy everyday more.This book made me think means of "life" .

[ep232 · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

I don't like Lorelei. Because she only mekes friends with rich men.It's not important friends are rich.

[katttsu · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Many people are described in this book and I cannot remember their names, so this book is difficult to read.But I'm glad that Lorelei find real hapiness last.

[shihori · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

She mentioned that her brain is very important and going on a trip around Europe so she can learn about Life. However, she always saw something related to money after all. I would like to read the squel to a story, if it were.