Lost to the Gray

By Amanda Bonilla

A Shaedes of Gray Novella 2.5

Did he do the right thing?

Tyler loves Darian like no other, not like her friends, not like her mentor, Raif, and not like the Shaede king who is trying to stake his claim on her. Tyler sees beyond her bluster and prowess to the real Darian—she’s vulnerable just like anyone else. But her growing supernatural powers and impulse to finish every job—no matter what—fills him with dread. Could it be only a matter of time before he loses her?

When Tyler discovers a lie that prevents him from protecting Darian, he shatters and leaves.

But will he ever really be able to live without her when he’s still bound to her—and still deeply in love?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bryant Street Publishing
• Release date: Jan 24, 2023
• ISBN: 9781094451350

Amanda Bonilla

Amanda Bonilla is the author of the Shaede Assassin and Sentry of Evil urban fantasy romance series. The debut novel in the series, SHAEDES OF GRAY, was nominated for Best Urban Fantasy Protagonist of 2011 by Romantic Times Magazine. Amanda lives in rural Idaho. She's a part-time pet wrangler, a full-time sun worshipper, and only goes out into the cold when coerced. She also writes romantic suspense as Mandy Baxter and paranormal romance as Kate Baxter.

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

Gods. Was I seriously walking away from the one woman I didn’t think I could live without? In a word: Yes.

Instinct tugged at my senses, the urge to return almost too strong to resist. I’d been without her for four agonizing months. Months full of worry and despair. Darian was mine to protect, my Charge, and it went against my nature to leave her without safeguard. Fuck it. She was not calling the shots anymore. I’d been jerked around one too many times to let this slide. She was on her own.

Who in the hell was I kidding? If she needed me, I’d be at her side before she could finish the words I wish.

The expression on her face when I left her standing alone in my apartment was as good as branded on my frontal lobe. She’d wished me virtually useless, leaving town for months with a less than trustworthy asshole named Faolán, hell-bent on finding Raif’s daughter. In her defense, she had no idea he was the Enphigmalé she’d failed to kill months ago, and likewise, she hadn’t realized that he was using her for his own evil machinations. She’d apologized, and in return I’d kicked her while she was down.

Darian was tough. She’d pick herself up again without anyone’s help, least of all, mine. And why did that hurt more than anything? More than her wish to keep me trapped in this damned city until she saw fit to come home, more than her total disregard of my protection and love. More than the fact that she’d called Raif before she’d even bothered to let me know that she was safe. Gods damn it, I needed her to need me. But the past four months had only managed to prove one thing: she didn’t.

Frost coated the brass handle and the window fogged in a spiked, icy pattern as I pulled open the door and walked into The Pit. I couldn’t suppress the anger that instantly connected to the seat of my power. Every last particle of my being is made from magical energy—my emotions have a tendency to manifest in a physical way. I shouldn’t have let mine get the better of me. Gods, how that woman got to me.

’Sup, bossman? Levi greeted me from the bar and I gave him a look. He knew better than to call me that in public. The Pit was a nice front for my other, less law abiding businesses, and I’d worked hard to mask my ownership of the bar through several small dummy corporations and a false name or two. The kid was the only one who knew who really paid his salary and I wanted it kept that way.

I’m not here, I grumbled as I strode past the bar toward the back room. Levi opened his mouth to speak and I cut him off. "For anyone."

I didn’t plan on staying in Seattle longer than it took to tie up a few loose ends. After that, I was out of here. The door to the sound-proof room slammed behind me and I set the suitcase beside an old, worn-out couch before flopping down on the too flat cushions. Fucking suitcase was a pain in the ass to lug around and I didn’t actually need the damn thing. I could manifest anything I wanted out of thin air. No, it had been nothing more than a prop. Something to jar Darian into realizing that I’d had enough of her childish behavior. I’d thought…hell, I don’t know what I thought.

Arm slung over my eyes, I listened to the muted sound of the bass pumping through the bar. The room was soundproof, but my supernatural hearing still picked up the low register beat as it reverberated through the walls. My last conversation with Darian ran a loop in my mind and my gut churned with the hurt and anger I tried not to feel. Feelings it had taken all of my willpower to suppress. Even in my anger, I couldn’t be harsh with her. Couldn’t shout, throw things, blow the windows out of my penthouse…have the proper temper tantrum she’d wanted me to have. Darian had been on the receiving end of too much violence in her life already. And no matter how angry I was with her, I wasn’t about to become one of those violent memories.

The tiny space heater in the corner of the office kicked on, the fan purring softly in the back of my mind. If I didn’t calm the fuck down, the walls and everything else in here would be coated with ice in minutes. Since I wasn’t interested in dropping the cash necessary to replace the thousands of dollars in electronics—my security system, the computers, control board for the sound system, for starters—I let my thoughts wander to a more pleasant memory. I could still remember the way I felt the first time I saw her. The first time I sensed her. As Jinn, the urge to bind ourselves to a Charge can be overwhelming. With Darian, I felt it a thousand-fold.

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A familiar sensation tugged from the center of my chest as if drawing me toward something. How long had it been since I’d felt it? Three hundred years? Four? Hell, it could’ve been a thousand. The urge to protect was second nature to me, but I hadn’t felt compelled to bind myself to anyone—thereby creating a Charge whose protection I’d be responsible for—for a very long time. I looked around the bar at the many creatures: both human and as far from human as you could get. One of them had triggered it and, Jesus fucking Christ, either I’d completely forgotten how it felt, or my new Charge had a shit load of trouble ahead of her.

The timing couldn’t be worse. I was meeting a potential employee in a few minutes and didn’t need the distraction of the life force that called out to me like a million voices begging for protection. How in the hell was I supposed to ignore something so powerful?

Over the din of music and voices, I heard my name like a whisper on the wind. Supernatural hearing definitely had its benefits. Turning toward the sound, I noticed a woman leaning over the bar, her mouth close to Levi’s ear. He pointed in my direction and gave her his you’d-look-great-stretched-out-naked-on-my-bed smile. And for some reason, when she walked away without so much as a grin in return, I felt a strange surge of satisfaction.

Oh, man. Was I in for a world of hurt with this one. Her head-to-toe black outfit made a definite statement. And the duster… Someone was a fan of the Underworld franchise. It suited her, though. On anyone else, it would have looked satirical, but she pulled it off. As she sauntered toward me, she brushed a curtain of loosely curled, reddish-blond hair away from her face.

Jesus. She was beautiful. And not by any stretch of the imagination was she human. In fact, she appeared more like a mirage than anything real. Her green eyes glowed faintly against the backdrop of the dark club, almost indiscernible to anyone with a less than keen eye. Shaede. Not common to Seattle, for sure. But it did pique my curiosity. A perfect assassin. I could use someone who could become an invisible shadow on the payroll.

With each step she made toward my table at the back of the bar, the more my unease mounted. No. No fucking way. I kept my ass glued to my seat even when my body wanted to bolt out of the chair and go to her. My Charge was making a bee-line for my table, and apparently, she was also my newest employee.

Well, if this didn’t just complicate the hell out of things. Exactly how was I supposed to protect her while simultaneously throwing her into dangerous situations? And why would someone who could obviously hold her own need my protection? Her name had been given to me by an associate who’d hired her for a freelance job a few months back. All I’d been told about her was that her name

Reviews for Lost to the Gray

[Kelly May · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

uh wha wha whaaa.... I was all expecting my entry into the next episode, interlude, installment of Darian. Then I found Tyler. Explaining, so allowing myself to experience some of the reasons, the why... This part is necessary. For the why, the how, beautiful and emotional background
Let me say.... Mirroring a need for knowledge. The history. The background that helps you make the connection between the wtf and omg what is this?? Knowledge is power, and for some reason Darian remains ignorant. OK so shes the plucky hero defying the odds. Poor beautiful lady... Others can take it. Not Raif, hes done enough