The Truth Bubbles Up

By Kathie Owen

This book starts out with a tornado and ends with a rainbow. What happens in the middle is all circumstantial. And so it is in your life too. We all have demons to fight, it is how you combat them that determines what kind of rainbow you see.

Kathie discusses her real and authentic battle with a narcissist to find her authentic self. She shares her guiding lights along her path and how she became a survivor of Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Find sympathy for your devils and you find the truth of life which no words can describe.

Kathie teaches us that we are not victims of circumstances but rather always reaching for more finding that our circumstances can provide us with the truth. The journey and the destination are one and when we learn to enjoy every aspect of our life then we will find all the colors of our rainbow. And so the truth bubbles up.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kathie Owen
• Release date: Nov 11, 2022
• ISBN: 9798215068427

Book preview

Disclaimer

THIS BOOK IS A MEMOIR. It reflects the author’s present recollections of experiences over time. Some names and characteristics have been changed, some events have been compressed, and some dialogue has been recreated. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

Introduction

"T he cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek." -Joseph Campbell

During the pandemic and race situation of 2020, I was listening to a podcast where the guest mentioned that we were all paying for the debts of our ancestors. I gave much thought to this. To me this is true. I believe we all have demons and debts to fight that are not of our choosing. But how you fight those demons is of utmost importance and will be the reason we survive and thrive or suffer, become defeated, and give up.

This book started out as a letter to my son Kevin. We have an estranged relationship today. It hurts me because I could not send that letter to him because he would either cuss me out or shut me further out of his life or both. My son is a product of his raising and his DNA. Obviously, he got some of my DNA. How he was raised is the part that I was not given due to the mental health of his father.

Part of that letter will be included in this book. Will he read it? I don’t know. I hope he knows one thing though, that I love him unconditionally no matter what. You see, it isn’t his fault that he was raised like that, just like it is not his fault that he got that DNA that holds good and bad. One day though he will see that battling those demons will be the answer to finding that peace that will set him free. That is where the truth bubbles up.

It is not my intention to talk badly about my son’s father and his stepmom but that will definitely take place in this book. The things my ex did to me will leave scars that last a lifetime, or if you believe as I do, several lifetimes.

I have demons to fight, and so do you. That is what this book is about. You will meet someone in this book who saved my life. Her name is Shary Davis. She was my therapist for many years. The things she taught me will be revealed in this book. Things like responsibility, boundaries, trusting the process, and even letting go. The things she taught me are the very things I teach others today. They truly saved my life and my sanity. And they could save yours.

The inspiration for this book came from a discussion with a very dear friend of mine. Almaz has known me for almost 40 years now. She knew me before everything happened. Heck she was at my wedding. And obviously, she knows me today. She read this book as I wrote it. At one point she told me, Kathie this was hard to read. Oh no! I said, I want it to be a great read, a book you can’t put down. She said Oh it is Kathie. It really is! It was just hard to read because I know you. I hate what happened to you.

It took me several days to start writing again after that. I spent time in contemplation and what came to me were all the things that Shary taught me and probably the most important lesson of all. That lesson is this we are not victims of what happens to us. We can be victors, it just takes a shift in perspective. It takes a choice.

Often times we fear those demons we have to face. Demons of loss, greed, anger, jealousy, pride, revenge, abandonment, guilt, and fear itself. But when you face those demons with responsibility, set clear boundaries, trust the process, and let go with faith everything shifts. As Joseph Campbell says The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek. And so the truth bubbles up.

Chapter 1. Tornados It’s Always Tornadoes

"When childhood stars shine always stay humble and kind." -Tim McGraw, Humble and Kind

An ominous tornado is coming my way. I see it in the distance. Kevin and Koby are young children and I am headed to the cellar for safety. Objects are flying everywhere. I am able to grab Koby, he’s my youngest. I grab Kevin by the hand but the wind is too strong. The tornado strips Kevin from me. I am forced to make a decision. Save Koby and close the cellar door or go try to find Kevin and risk losing everything including my life. I choose to save Koby.

The tornado subsides quickly and we open the cellar door to find the sun shining on all the broken glass that is everywhere. It is eerily quiet and oddly beautiful. I step outside avoiding the broken pieces of glass with every step praying deeply that I find Kevin alive.

All of a sudden Kevin jumps out from behind a blown-over tree. He is perfectly fine. He even tells me, I’m fine mom. Why were you even worried?

I dream about tornadoes often. They have come to be warning dreams for me. Tornadoes are menacing characters. They destroy everything in their paths. However, there can be things very close by that go untouched. My tornado dreams symbolize change for me. Most often it is a good change. But that doesn’t mean the change will be fun! And just like with any tornado some things change forever.

Titanic Losses

IN THE MOVIE TITANIC, there is a part where the poor families are left down below, with the forbidding knowing that the ship is going to sink. A mother rocks her young child and sings a song. I can’t remember if she says this or not but it does happen in movies, I will not ever let you die. When we all know they are going to die! How can that mother remain so calm? All the while she knows she is going to perish along with her children.

While I do not know about the actual death part, I do know about the death of a dream for my children only too well.

Where it all began

MY FIRST DATE WITH Kendall was in the spring of 1989. I was only 24 at the time. Yes, I am as old as the Super Bowl. Kendall was prompt with his timing and was there at 7:00 sharp. He picked me up in his beautiful 1988 cherry red corvette. He called me from his car phone, an unheard-of luxury in that day and time, and said, Your chariot awaits.

We went to Houston’s Restaurant which was just a few blocks away from my apartment in Montrose. I had butterflies as anyone would on their first date with a handsome guy. We had a corner table in the romantically lit restaurant. I could not keep my eyes off of him, he was immaculately dressed in his white button-down Ralph Lauren shirt, starched Wranglers, and his very expensive Ostrich cowboy boots.

As dinner ended the waitress brought us the check and walked away. Normal, right? But what happened next was not normal, at least not in my world. Kendall pulled out his wallet and then pulled out his dollar bills. He started counting hundreds of dollars right before my eyes.

I gazed out the window at the street below us. Kirby Drive was a street that I traveled on thousands of times as a child. I had grown up going to church every single Sunday a few miles away. Rice University was also a few miles away. I thought of the day my family drove by the stadium after church when the Super Bowl was held there in 1974 just to see the festivities. Across the street was the car dealership where my father bought his Plymouth Duster in 1970. And down the street was Kays Sports Bar, a favorite, local college hangout of mine during the mid-80s.

My mind came back to the table and the dollars. Why was he doing this? I thought. Did he think this impressed me?

I can’t remember how that date ended but I can tell you it was the beginning.

The Charm

I LOVED KENDALL’S CHARM. He exuded it. When he walked into a room people wanted to hang out with him. At my work Christmas parties, he was always the one talking to the bosses. He was fun and exuded power. When I knew him and dated him, he was even humble, and sometimes he was kind.

He’d go to work dressed like the other guys and even worked with his hands putting on trailer hitches. If someone came in