Damned If I Love You

By Dhasi Mwale

Rudo is a trainee witch-finder who discovers college for a mystic isn’t easy. Damned souls are attracted to her incandescent aura, she’s losing control of her powers, and she’s in danger of failing her training. Then, along comes charming, irresistible Chisomo. The witch wants her heart. As if Rudo needs that kind of complication.
She is his salvation, and he is her damnation. He lives in the grey areas, while she’s all about black and white. He won’t love anyone else, but she mustn’t love him. Still, what if loving him isn’t the worst that could happen?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Love Africa Press
• Release date: Oct 30, 2022
• ISBN: 9781005373344

Book preview

First Published in Great Britain in 2022 by

LOVE AFRICA PRESS

103 Reaver House, 12 East Street, Epsom KT17 1HX

www.loveafricapress.com

Text copyright © Dhasi Mwale, 2022

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored, or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in reviews.

The right of Dhasi Mwale to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by them in accordance with the Copyright, Design and Patents Act, 1988

This is a work of fiction. Names, places, events, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Blurb

Rudo is a trainee witch-finder who discovers college for a mystic isn’t easy. Damned souls are attracted to her incandescent aura, she’s losing control of her powers, and she’s in danger of failing her training. Then, along comes charming, irresistible Chisomo. The witch wants her heart. As if Rudo needs that kind of complication.

She is his salvation, and he is her damnation. He lives in the grey areas, while she’s all about black and white. He won’t love anyone else, but she mustn’t love him. Still, what if loving him isn’t the worst that could happen?

Chapter 1

Rudo Simainga’s wide-eyed gaze followed the jean-clad man toddling towards the University of Zambia’s School of Education staff car park. His eyes were vacant, lost in a daze of lobotomy-like tranquillity that mocked her.

That newly-minted imbecile was her fault.

Had she intercepted the sorcerer sooner, he wouldn't have turned the poor guy's brain into mush. Not that she'd expected it. Even Tinashe, her partner and mentor, couldn’t have predicted this.

The second ripple of energy sliced into her and met with a reflexive pulse from her core. Instead, the surge seeped into the ground, locking her in rigour.

Stupid enchantments!

The spell-infused henna tattoos on her hands required an open psychic channel, leaving her vulnerable to magic. And, of course, the psycho sorcerer just had to throw a hex bomb. Rudo swooped her phone off the pavement, ignoring her spastic muscles and scrolled down the contact list.

She needed Tinashe. Well, at the very least, the dumb guy with the sauced-up intellect required him.

Genius that she was, she'd bumped Tinashe from her Speed Dial because what self-respecting college girl had her brother on Speed Dial? With her finger ready to hit dial, she turned her focus back to the car park.

Shoot! He'd disappeared!

The suave skinny jean-clad dude who'd offered her a doobie not ten minutes ago. The dude who'd been stupid enough to confront a man lurking in the shadows, at night, on a college campus. The hapless victim of the lobotomy hex. He'd vanished! Poof!

Damn it all!

She could only imagine the trouble he'd get into when someone noticed his odd behaviour and ushered him to Tinashe's door. But there'd be time to fuss about him later. He couldn't possibly get himself into that much trouble, right? At least he’d be safe until she’d tagged the hex-bomb-tossing psycho for Tinashe to pick up.

As if on cue, the hooded man slunk out of the shadows. He crossed the line of trees between the staff car park and the block of dormitories, fondly known as the Ruins, to join a stream of students headed towards the library. He blended in without effort. If not for the trail of mauve miasma emitted by the bag on his back, she'd have lost him.

Rudo shifted the strap of the book bag on her shoulder and pushed off the wall. She ignored the numbing spike in her lower back and trotted after him. She had to catch up before he made his way out of the crowd. Her life depended on it. Out in the open, without the people, he’d be able to distinguish intentional contact from accidental and throw another hex. One directed at her. A spell she couldn’t survive.

Sure, the simplicity of the plan had its weakness, or a thousand, but she didn't have a choice. She'd already let her hesitation get in the way tonight. Tinashe would not tolerate another mistake.

By the time she reached The Ruins, the sorcerer had crossed the road. He merged into the stream of people heading to and from the University of Zambia’s banking annexe.

She jogged after him, each puff of cold June air burning her nostrils and drying her airways. She endured the faint-inducing repetition of breath, stab, breath, stab and pressed on. Sadly, not an after-effect of the hex but a lack of physical stamina. She’d abandoned Tinashe's prescribed workout routine because she’d thought she wouldn’t need it.

What aura reader had to be in top physical condition anyway? The present situation in no way reflected the normal order of things. Chasing psycho sorcerers was Tinashe's job. Her job was to identify the offending witches, sorcerers and wizards, tagging them for Tinashe to dispatch.

Just a few more metres.

Hang in there, collapsing airways.

Her feet hit the road tarmac. Tyres screeched.

***

She came out of nowhere, soul blazing like the sun.

Granted, Chisomo Muduzi hadn't been paying much attention to the road, engrossed in divining a solution to his boredom.

He reacted in between heartbeats, shocked to action by the blinding light. The car came to a screeching halt a few inches from the incandescent girl. She paused mid-sprint and spun. In a second that lasted forever but not long enough, his need, his desire—and all he was—sharpened into a singular purpose, her acquisition.

Her lips curled upwards, and off she went as if she hadn't come within inches of his bumper.

An alien sensation tickled his insides and settled on his chest. Excitement. A once familiar feeling, burned away by time, drowned by drinking too long from the mire of ordinary. He gripped the wheel and rode the cocktail of confusion and excitement to its ebb. Did that girl just smile in the face of danger? How deliriously odd.

He must have her, this unique girl with a blazing soul and no fear.

In truth, she was as physically generic as they come. Average build, symmetrical body structure. A bit wide around the hips and a backside that bounced when she jogged. Not bad looking. Pretty. Not the kind of knee-jellying beauty to swoon over. But for her soul, an ordinary human specimen if ever he'd seen one.

He grunted, disgusted. Since when had he begun to see himself outside the definition of human? Had he fallen so far?

A car honking snapped him back to reality. He gestured an apology to the driver and crawled forward, ready to turn into the first open parking spot. He battled the urge to jump out of his car and after her with no regard for reality. Instinct alone moved him forward, while his intellect refused to address the situation's absurdity.

He could obsess about it later. For now, finding her was all that mattered.

***

Rudo’s limbs moved in automation. She saw nothing. Perceived nothing. In the space of a heartbeat, the world around her moved in slow, ragged motion. One, two, three bounds. Through the light of the car's headlamps, she sailed.

Her feet hit the pavement, and normal speed resumed. Exhilaration numbed her senses. She held in an excited whoop, electing to grin instead. Pursuing psycho sorcerers wasn't so objectionable after all.

Impending death—zero. Rudo—one.

She took a breath to gather herself.

Re-instituting her psychic channel, Rudo activated the tattoos on the palms of her hands. Inked with magic-suffused henna, these invisible spell tattoos would transfer energy from her to the casting stone she’d slipped into his bag. To the ordinary eye, the stone was a standard pebble. But once activated, the stone would neutralize the charms the sorcerer was carrying. It was a one-off spell, and she had to cast it right.

Rubbing her palms together charged the tag inlaid in the nullification spell. To cast it was a simple matter of contact. If nothing else went wrong. This night was doing a spectacular job of turning simple chores into death races.

Her body ached from a combination of physical exertion and battle-worn spirit energy. Though steady, her psychic channel was weak. She wouldn't be able to maintain it.

She slowed into a trot two paces behind the sorcerer.

He walked on, casual-like, backpack sagging, head lowered as if in tune with some beat no one else could hear, oblivious to her presence and mission.

Perfect.

Saying a silent prayer, Rudo fell in beside him. She tilted forward on her next step, a planned fake fall that unexpectedly morphed into reality. She yelped and flailed, seeking stability. With a split-second reaction, the sorcerer grabbed her shoulder to steady her. She welcomed his assistance and, in a show of fluster, made contact with his backpack and dropped the small, charged stone into the empty water bottle compartment.

Life-draining energy seeped into her, and her skin tingled. She released a short burst of magic through her palms. The tagging tattoo exploded from her skin with a crackle of static and snapped onto the bag.

Success.

Oh! I'm so sorry! Rudo said, swaying. Oh, dear. I'm so clumsy. Tripping over nothing. She laughed away the tension coiling in her chest. Logic bid her to leave the area with haste. The longer she stayed, the higher his chances of figuring out her bump was no accident and noticing the magic in his charms had been extinguished.

Thank you. I should go. She said and attempted a friendly grin.

Their eyes met.

Rudo shut down the part of her brain that began screaming and masked her terror with an even wider porcelain smile. This was it. He'd explode. She should have called Tinashe when she had the chance.

The sorcerer shifted. Every muscle in her body clenched. It seemed he’d step forward and choke her but pivoted on his feet and stalked away.

Rudo gagged on a sudden inward rush of air and pushed through the crowd using will to propel her, one wobbly step after the next, out of the path, up the stairs and into the nearest wall.

She shuddered and dialled Tinashe, instilling what remained of her courage into her voice. It's done.

Good job. I'll pick him up.

Any other day Rudo would skip at Tinashe's praise. He so rarely gave it. Yet all she could see was the psycho's dead eyes. So tainted that nothing remained inside him but a hollow bridge to the spirit realm and all its terrors.

In her short career as a mystic, she’d had many encounters with Mosima, the ghost country, the spirit realm, otherwise known as the abyss. However, what she’d experienced in this one glance surpassed any horrors she’d previously encountered. Looking into his eyes felt like being drained of life, being sucked into a wasteland. Like being held hostage by all her fears and insecurities even though she hadn’t seen any actual spirits. No doubt, this man was the author of the horrifying charms Tinashe had intercepted. No wonder all his victims lost their sanity.

She shuddered again and hugged herself.

Hey. Are you all right?

Rudo looked up and met her friend’s gentle regard. Gladys was a fellow student and shared the same dorms.

I'm fine. I think I just had a brief panic attack. Exam fever. Rudo smiled, pushed to her feet, and used the pretext of dusting her clothes to steady herself. She took a moment to tuck away the worries of her Witch Court duties and transition into the wide-eyed university fresher everyone knew. Well, not so wide-eyed these days.

Gladys’s expression warmed. Stress will do that. It might help if you went out once in a while.

I'll be fine. Rudo waved her friend’s concern away. Going out?

You should totally come. It will be fun like old times. A night on the town. It's bound to be fun even without Gideon.

The mention of Gideon tugged a melancholic cord deep within her. She laughed to shoo thoughts of him away. I couldn’t impose. I should go and rest anyway.

Don't be silly. It's Friday. You can sleep tomorrow. Without waiting for an answer, Gladys hooked her arm into Rudo's and led her away.

***

Chisomo manoeuvred the car into a space at the end of the lot. It would have to do for the time being. He wouldn't risk losing her just to find a parking space, an impossibility on this side of campus at dusk.

An ethereal glow alerted him to her proximity.

He turned off the ignition and sat frozen now that she was within reach. Not that logic had returned and rid him of his fanciful desire. No. Fear of striking out kept him there, sweaty palms glued to the wheel. Striking out? Nonsense! He hadn't struck out with a girl in years. Thirteen was the age he’d last suffered rejection.

Good God! What was it that paralyzed him so? He need only step out, walk up to her, charm her, and he'd have his fill of her extraordinary soul.

A muffled bang followed by a strange scraping noise like the winding of an uncoiled jack spurred him to action. He leapt out of the car to find a security guard squatting at his rear tyre.

What are you doing? Chisomo asked.

The security guard, dressed in a standard-issue blue uniform, shot him a shrivelling glance and continued the work of clamping the car.

You can't park here, the man said without looking up.

Were you lying in wait? he demanded.

The man declined to respond and continued the job of securing the tyre.

Chisomo rubbed his temples. He didn’t have time for this. He'd have to pay the fine after he found the girl. He spun on his heels.

Your car will be towed. The guard's warning reached him over the murmur of night noises.

Chisomo spun back. You're kidding, right?

The guard pushed up and faced him, shoulders squared. Clearly, he took pleasure in inflicting hardships on people who had what he didn’t. A negotiation of any kind was out of the question.

Fine. Chisomo threw his arms in the air. I'll get it when I come back.

Tomorrow.

Excuse me?

If your car gets towed, you can only get it tomorrow. You should go and pay the fine now.

Triumph tugged at the guard's features.

Chisomo had no time for security personnel and their petty egos. He'd lose her. Even one so extraordinary would be hard to find amongst the thousands of students here.

He bridged the space between him and the guard, who stiffened and flexed his arms in response to the perceived challenge. Yeah, as if he'd have a chance of victory in actual combat. Chisomo latched onto his arm.

Let me go! The man took a swing at him with the other hand.

He dodged and locked the guard's assailing arm under his armpit. Then he squeezed the guard, nails digging into the man’s skin, the pain forcing him to look up.

Chisomo locked eyes with the guard, willing him to maintain eye contact. You are going to remove the clamp. You are going to let me walk away. You are going to forget this ever happened.

By the fourth word, the man ceased cursing and fighting, the last ember of defiance snuffed out. He went limp, and his mouth drooped into a submissive half-drool. Satisfaction spread over his features.

Chisomo released him. The security man nodded, sporting a dopey smile, and bent down to remove the clamp.

Explosive pressure gripped Chisomo and the edges of his vision darkened. He stumbled. The force released him in a surge which churned his insides and awakened a ravaging hunger shaking him senseless.

He leaned onto the car and took rapid bracing breaths, fighting the perils of using compulsion in the absence of sexual attraction. He was being incredibly reckless today. Diverting from routine. Acting on impulse.

She better be worth it.

Clamp removed, the guard ambled off, still swimming in a complex mixture of submissiveness and contentment.

Chisomo rolled his shoulders and searched for the enticing glow. He smiled. The girl with the blazing soul crossed the lawn in front of him, heading away from the sports hall towards the Levy Mwanawasa hostels, hand in hand with another girl.

He shifted, ready to follow but what he saw gave him pause.

Odd. Was the other girl’s soul missing?

***

How is Gideon these days? Gladys asked.

Um. Rudo's mind clouded. Okay.

She glanced in the direction of her block of hostels, the New Rez, and willed them to move closer. They’d taken the back road between the Meltdown Cafe and the sports hall. They would head past the Levy Mwanawasa hostels and use one of the side entrances near the Zambezi hostels.

Oh. I'm so sorry. I'm being inconsiderate going on about Gideon. Gladys affectionately rubbed the hand she still held in hers.

It's okay. It was forever ago.

A lifetime ago. Once upon a