Miss Pringle in Paradise

By Margaret B Jennings

Seventy-year-old Mildred Agnes Pringle is in perfect health and completely unaware that two angel brothers are watching her every move from their office in Heaven. Desperate to fix their earlier blunder before anyone finds out, they force a chain of events to occur that prompt her untimely entrance into Heaven. But when Miss Pringle arrives, she is dismayed to find her new home devoid of all things heavenly.

Because she accomplished so little in her earthly life, Miss Pringle vows not to squander her afterlife. With grim determination, she decides to save herself by surrounding herself with an eclectic group of companions that include guardian angels, Elijah and Reg, and two porters: Old George, a workaholic long-time resident and Boots, a would-be-biker who cannot accept that he is dead. When the renegade gang led by Miss Pringle decides to flee in a moving cloud to seek new adventures, now only time will tell if they can outwit and outrun St. Peter and the Arch Angel Gabriel.

In this delightful story, an elderly woman plucked from her earthly life by two angels desperate to right their wrong is sent on a heavenly adventure like no other.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press AU
• Release date: Aug 31, 2022
• ISBN: 9781982295653

Margaret B Jennings

Margaret B Jennings was born in London and later moved to Papua New Guinea, and then Australia. Her diverse career has included stints as a doll designer and textile arts teacher. Margaret is a mother of three, grandmother of seven, and proud breast cancer survivor. Miss Pringle in Paradise is her first book.

Book preview

CHAPTER 1

O n the top floor of a real skyscraper, shrouded in clouds, the pair of brothers were arguing.

"You haven’t counted properly. Add them up again Theo. You were never any good at sums when we were at school, and you know how cross the boss gets if the numbers don’t add up.

Why d’you always think it’s my fault? I’ve got all the names on my list. Bet you haven’t picked out all the random choice people. You always blame someone else for your mistakes. You’re too quick and careless Leo. Never do anything right the first time and you always claim it’s someone else’s fault.

Grumbling and muttering under his breath, Leo leaned on his desk and rechecked his own work, a flush creeping over his face as he realised that he had made the mistake.

It’s not really my fault either Leo insisted. ‘It must have been when Jacobi came in and interrupted us to say goodbye, so it really is his fault. We need one more female to balance the books. I just wish they wouldn’t keep changing the percentages; it makes it so hard to work them out, and you never do that part of the job.

If they want equality, why can’t we go straight to a fifty/fifty system, instead of this slow approach? At this rate, there are still going to be more males than females up here in the next millennium. And because they get here first, they get all the best places and positions."

Same on earth Bro. Same on earth. Change is slow there too, but it’s beginning to happen. Tell you what, let’s use HERNIA to get the last one in. We’ve just about got time before the roadies come and collect it for tonight’s lotto game.

The brothers knew it was strictly against the rules to use the machine, the Heavenly Electronic Random Number Indication Apparatus, or HERNIA for short, without a ticketed senior supervisor being present, and it would be at least another hundred years or so before either brother got his ticket, let alone gained promotion to supervisor, this idea was very tempting.

You don’t think Jacobi will find out, do you? Theo asked his brother. I don’t want another bad report going to the Chairman. We’ve had one already this year and a couple of warnings, and you know they’ve got that new rule now, three strikes and you’re out.

He’ll never know. Jacobi should never have knocked off early, leaving us to do all the work. I’m fed up with clocking on and off for him, he’s always sneaking off nowadays. I’ll bet it’s not to harp practice either. He’s got a thing about Joan of Arc. I think he lies at her feet, gazing up at her in adoration. Especially since she’s finally taken off that armour and started wearing those slinky robes, and she’s got that French accent. I think she’s what they call hot down there on earth.

This retort came as Theo scurried across the room to where HERNIA was stored. It was a big machine with a numbered dial and a row of silver buttons on the front and what seemed to be a large, inverted Perspex bowl sitting on the top. There was a plastic tube leading from the bowl to a divided tray.

What does it do? How does it work? Leo was scrabbling about beneath his desk, emerging with a large globe of Earth, which he placed on top of the Perspex bowl. We need to pick a country first. Pulling a set of darts from the big pocket in his robe, he handed them to Theo, who attached their flights.

We haven’t got time for a long game, so I’ll spin, you chuck, ok? We need at least two of the darts in the same country.

Leo pulled at a thin cord at the base of the globe, gave it a sharp tug and the globe began to spin.

Now he yelled at his brother and Theo let fly with all three darts, two of them landed firmly in the globe, the third dart landed equally as firmly in Leo’s arm. His yell turned into a yelp as he felt the impact of the projectile.

Tugging it free and sighing as he accepted his brother’s apology, they both peered at the globe. Looks like Britain, then, said Leo.

More precisely England. Theo pressed the zoom feature on the globe and the place of interest lit up.

Hampshire, looks like a small village, I’ll just make a note of the coordinates. He jotted down some figures on a scrap of paper. Somebody is going to get a surprise. Come on then, let’s get started.

They removed the globe from the top of HERNIA, stowing it back beneath the desk

We used to use a machine like this when I did my Saturday job at the Celestial Casino. Leo paused in his reminiscing. There was a game a lot of the elderly people liked. I think it was called bongo.

He switched the machine on, set the gender button to ‘F’ added the coordinates in the appropriate section, moved the dial to fifteen for the total number of digits he needed the machine to pick, then pressed the start button.

The machine whirred into life. With a lot of whizzing and ticking, rumbling, and clicking it threw several objects up into the Perspex bowl. Round and round they swirled, rumbling and tumbling,

Shooting one by one down the plastic tube, landing in the divided tray.

What have you done Leo? Asked Theo as he gazed in bewilderment at the objects in the divided tray. In one half were numerous small bars of chocolate, and in the other were small stuffed animal toys. What are all these for? I was expecting numbers."

Sorry, Bro. It can’t have been reset since the last party for the children at the Hosanna Playgroup. Here stuff them in your pockets, we’ll drop them into a charity bin on the way home. I’ll just reset the machine and we’ll have another go. He reset the machine, checked he had the correct gender indicated, again set the amount to fifteen and pressed the start button.

Again, the machine whirred into life, making much the same noises as it had the previous time until it started shooting, one by one more objects round and round in the Perspex bowl, through the plastic tube and into the divided tray which had changed to now having sixteen compartments. They were now filled with what looked like plastic ping pong balls with numbers and letters painted on them.

Leo pressed the switch to release the balls. Theo went to snatch them up. Leave them called his brother, just write the sequence down. We can’t make a mistake with that.

Okay, said Theo I’ll read them out, you write them down, ready? Here we go F877913205640887.

You haven’t made a mistake or transposed a number, right? asked Leo. "It’s very important that they’re kept in order because that’s the unique client number. It will now be on file at immigration.

The gender marker comes first, in this case, F for female, the rest are her country and client number."

Oh well, you used H.E.R.N.I.A. so I get to use the computer Theo sniggered happily, punched the sequence of digits into the keyboard, and pressed the appropriate programme key with a flourish Leo said, You’re sure that’s the correct order? Did you put the date in? The computer needs to know the actual date we expect them up here?

Of course, I am, but I did forget the date, said Theo. Though he wasn’t sure at all.

We need to cancel it and start again, snapped Leo. It’s Tuesday 26th June 1984, put that in first, then click down to the next field and re-input all the client numbers again, then press the programme key.

The pair gazed at the large monitor screen, waiting for the details of their chosen one to appear. Here we are, Miss Mildred Agnes Pringle of Dove House, Gorse Hill Near Hambury in England. The date of birth is 6th April 1914, so she’s aged seventy. Good. Now, how are we going to get her, there’s not much in the way of information on her in the files is there? She doesn’t seem to do very much, no dangerous hobbies, no real interests, and she’s in perfect health for her age. Any suggestions on how we can do it?

Easy, use the cards Theo reached into a pocket deep in the voluminous folds of his gown and came up with a pack of cards and two small bars of chocolate. He gave a bar to his brother, then unwrapped and popped the other into his mouth as he spread the cards face down on the desk. Here Bro, you can pick one.

Tax rebate of $500 or equivalent. Leo read out. You’re so daft, that must be the community chest pack. We need the chance cards. Oh sorry, try again with these." Theo produced a second pack, fanning them out in his hands for his brother to pick one.

Hmmmn. Motor vehicle accident. She doesn’t go anywhere. She doesn’t even drive. How do we arrange this? I wish they’d give us a bit more information on these things.

We’ve got all day to get her up here. We can have a bit of a look through the viewer, follow her movements for a couple of hours and work out a plan of action for the old duck.

Perhaps a bit of thought transference. We could try to put some ideas into her head.

We’re not really supposed to do that though are we? Not without permission and filling in all those forms. I don’t know why they give us all these abilities if we’re not allowed to use them.

Still, it’s a good idea. Continued Leo. I’ve always wanted to do it, and we weren’t supposed to do all the other things we did today. So, in for a penny, in for a pound, I say. Who’s to know anyway, and we’ve got to get her up here one way or another.

The door opened and two burly-looking young men strolled into the room. You’ve come for HERNIA? Asked Theo We’ve moved it out for you, just trying to be helpful.

Roland the roadie, the taller of the two men, looked at the machine. Why’s it plugged in then? Thought you angels weren’t allowed to use it on your own.

We didn’t, Theo thought quickly. "We just thought we’d make sure we hadn’t damaged it when we moved it. Won’t bother to be helpful in the future.

The roadies moved the machine with a grunt and a groan giving the door a good slam behind them.

The two angels moved over to another even larger screen set into the end wall of the office. The brothers seated themselves on large easy chairs and pulled some of their ill-gotten gains out of their pockets to munch on while settling down to follow the movements of the totally unaware Miss Mildred Agnes Pringle.

CHAPTER 2

D own on earth, Miss Pringle was wandering around the large gardens of Dove House, where she’d lived for the whole of her life.

An ample, fluttery woman, holding on to her large floppy sunhat with one hand, a garden trug full of flowers hanging from the other arm. She ambled along on legs and feet which seemed too small and frail to support her bulk.

The last of this branch of the Pringle family, daughter of an autocratic and overbearing Colonel who had insisted on being addressed by his military rank and title until the day he died. His influence could still be felt by all those who inhabited Dove House.

Mildred Agnes Pringle had had only one sibling, her elder brother Algernon (after his father) Eustace Colin Pringle. (Who only used his third name) had been killed during the second world war. Both Mildred and her mother Mrs. Gladys Ann Pringle had missed him dreadfully. He had been a light-hearted and jolly sort of chap, and as unlike his father as he could be and was liked by everybody who encountered him.

Colin had joined the Royal Air Force at the start of the war, as much to irritate his father as any desire to fly, and discovered to his own surprise, that not only was he good at it but felt the greatest exhilaration when he took to the skies.

Mrs. Pringle and Mildred had joined the Women’s Voluntary Service, known worldwide by its initials, the W.V.S. Mildred had been taught to knit by Nanny as a child, it was one of the few things she was good at. She and her mother set up a local programme, ‘Socks for Servicemen’, and engaged the local women from the village and the Women’s Institute in their endeavour, supplying hundreds of pairs of socks to active servicemen, and parcels of socks jumpers and scarves