SEX and the SIMS

I lean in and ask if she wants to do it. She cheers and punches her fist in the air, which seems like a good sign. We head over to the bed and, in one precisely synchronised move, jump under the covers at the exact same time. Romantic music is playing. The bed is squeaking. There’s writhing. There’s wriggling. One of us makes a meowing sound like a horny cat. This is going great. So great it feels like there are little pink hearts floating in the air. I can sense our relationship growing stronger. And then… fireworks. Literal fireworks are exploding all around us. We have just woohooed.

In my time, I have woohooed in a shower, a hot tub, a sauna, a walk-in closet, a money vault, a lighthouse, a rocket ship, a bush in the jungle and a random pile of leaves. I