Jeremiah Willow-Bottom and the Titanic Mistake

By Zanna T. Laws

Does the truth always set you free? Jeremiah and Dandelion begin to doubt that as they venture upon yet another voyage of discovery.

Jeremiah Willow-Bottom and Dandelion Flamethrower are now studying for their doctorates. Their previous adventures were supposed to calm Jeremiah’s thirst for puzzles down to a dull roar but unfortunately a film about a doomed ship has set him off again.

Jeremiah has a hunch. It leads him to clues and revelations and the realisation that things are not always as they seem. However, he is determined to get to the bottom of things despite attracting the attention of a very unsavoury character, getting both he and Dandelion into many dangerous situations and managing to help solve a few murders along the way.

• Language: English
• Publisher: DoctorZed Publishing
• Release date: Jul 7, 2022
• ISBN: 9780645544244

Zanna T. Laws

Zanna T. Laws worked for Greenpeace; The Wilderness Society; conducted research on dolphin fisheries in Peru for the Environmental Investigation Agency and stowed-away to Antarctica to protest the building of an airstrip in Dumont D’Urville. Zanna currently lives in the wilds of south-west Tasmania. The farthest you can get from anywhere and still have electricity.

Book preview

The credits rolled, the song ended on a rising crescendo and, as the DVD ejected, Jeremiah and Dandelion sat back on the settee trying to ignore the fact that they had both been sniffing, blowing their noses surreptitiously, and were now hastily wiping away tears.

Doesn’t help to know the ending does it? snuffled Jeremiah.

I didn’t know the ending, whispered Dandelion, punching him on the arm, Why didn’t you warn me?

Sorry, said Jeremiah, unrepentant, As you seem to know so much about human history I thought you must have heard this tale before. Now it transpires you hadn’t it would have ruined the impact a bit to be forewarned don’t you think?

I don’t believe my reaction would have been any different - yours wasn’t! Really good film though only now I have a bright red nose! complained Dandelion glancing at him and giggling. Oh and so do you!

Trouble is on you it looks cute. I just look like a snivelling wretch! Jeremiah chuckled.

Dandelion kissed him on the aforementioned nose, sat back and said, Oh no! You’ve got that look again. You want to know more don’t you?

You know me too well! I am sure the film was as historically accurate as possible but some things just seemed a little odd to me. I am going to do some more digging. Sadly, I think the last survivor died a short while ago but she was just a baby on board and a first hand account is what I really need. There must be a surviving diary or some form of documentation about that isn’t readily available - stored in an elderly relative’s attic somewhere. No harm in giving it a go!

Just so long as your course work doesn’t suffer as you become more obsessed! chided Dandelion.

Oh wise and practically immortal elf maiden, I hear and obey! Jeremiah bowed mockingly at her.

Dandelion grinned and said, And I am obviously going to help aren’t I?!

Oh yes! Jeremiah replied.

Several days went past without Jeremiah seeming to proceed any further into his voyage of discovery. Dandelion had just begun to hope that their previous two escapades would be enough to satisfy his quest for adventure, for a little while at least, and now a film about a doomed ship had set him off again. She smiled fondly. She wouldn’t have him any other way.¹ At least this quest wouldn’t require any magic or time travelling - well not much anyway, maybe a little tweak here and there.

About a week later Dandelion peered round the pile of books that she was wading through and called to Jeremiah who was working at the computer. In the course of our research I’ve noticed that the White Star Line’s ships were all called things like ‘Oceanic, Celtic, Britannic, Olympic, Titanic etc. she commented.

True, replied Jeremiah, the major lines all had names that distinguished their ships from their rivals. The ‘ic’ suffix at the end told punters this was a White Star Line vessel.

So, continued Dandelion, if they had built another ship the logical progression would have been the ‘Seasic’?

Oh that’s mean! laughed Jeremiah.

The following day Jeremiah was in a bit of a huff. Throwing down onto the couch the latest research book he had been rummaging through he grumbled, None of these books really tell me anything that I want to know. They all say much the same thing as well. What we really could do with is Monsieur Herakles Pirouette. His detecting skills could come in handy right now. ²

Why don’t we try to reach him and ask? said Dandelion.

Do you really think we could? Perhaps we should go back your dad’s place and check out the tapestry. I am sure the Monsieur would love a peek into the modern world and all its forensic technologies.

C’mon then, said Dandelion holding out her hand, let’s go there right now.

Jeremiah stood, grasped her hand and felt the, by now, familiar rushing and tugging sensation and suddenly there they were standing in the long corridor in the king’s palace.

We’ll just go and say hello first, she said and together they headed for King Ston’s office. Once they arrived a gentle tap on the door elicited an ‘enter’ command and this they did.

Dandelion, my dear, and Jeremiah. What a lovely surprise, how nice to see you. Everything alright at University? the king rose, came round his desk kissed and hugged Dandelion and shook Jeremiah’s hand. He stepped back and studied them for a moment. Hold on! he exclaimed, You are up to something again, I can feel it!

Jeremiah looked a bit sheepish and grinned. Spot on, sir!

Dandelion continued, Jeremiah has a bee in his bonnet about the tragedy of an old ocean going liner called the Titanic. We are having trouble tracking down the information we require so we were both hoping we could use the tapestry to go back and collect an amazing detective we met during our last adventure. A Monsieur Herakles Pirouette.

Feel free, smiled the king, but before you do anything rash please at least stay long enough to have lunch with me.

Agreed, they both chorused, heading back to the corridor next to the vast throne room and meeting hall to once again stand in front of the huge tapestry. It still showed the scene of Teresa and her four enormous offspring dancing and singing in their long lost Cretaceous forest glade.³

Dandelion stood very close to the tapestry and studied it. She raised her hands and swept them across the textured surface as high and wide as she could. A frown creased her brow. She stepped back a few feet and, concentrating hard, twiddled her fingers in what Jeremiah now recognised as casting a spell.

Er, nothing’s happened, he remarked unhelpfully. Dandelion turned on him with a glower, No nothing is happening, how clever of you to notice. she growled. You give it a go.

He stood as close as she had and felt for the weak spot that was the gateway into so many different time periods. The Tyrannosaurus Rex family continued to dance and sing. He took several deep breaths and tried again.

After about an hour of fruitless effort Dandelion took him by the arm and pulled him away. She tried once more to open the way but the tapestry resolutely remained the same. Her expression changed and she tried a different spell. She sighed and turned back to Jeremiah.

Instead of using an opening spell I just tried a searching one to see if I could find out what was going wrong. She hugged him and said sadly, I’m sorry Jem, it is no longer a time portal. It is just as it appears to be now – simply a tapestry depicting a bizarre topic. When we helped the Norns return the time line to its normal progression and they returned us here they must have permanently closed the rifts in time that the Greek Fates created. We cannot go back and collect Monsieur Pirouette. I’m afraid we are going to have to do the detective work ourselves.

Jeremiah looked crestfallen, That’s that then. I guess we better go and have lunch with your dad and head home.

In between studying and course assignments Jeremiah went online and researched some of the numerous sites relating to the Titanic disaster. They all seemed a bit too saccharinely sweet, misinformed and apocryphal for his liking but they did give him an idea and he quickly set up his own forum entitled Wanted: ‘Titanic Information, provenance is key’. He also posted similar things on other social media sites and sat back very impatiently to see what would eventuate.

Days passed and there was not so much as one hit on his site which he found exceedingly strange considering the amount of interest the subject still generated. Often he couldn’t sleep and would get up constantly to check if there was any news. Nothing even remotely relevant showed up on the social media except a few marriage proposals from various parts of the world, advertisements for ‘moon lamps’ and a few god-bothering trolls.

One night, after he had been up and down like a yoyo checking the computer, Dandelion appeared behind him logged out and switched off the machine with an annoyed flourish and pointed an imperious finger towards the bedroom.

SLEEP, she commanded gruffly and Jeremiah sheepishly crawled back into bed. He remembered nothing more until he woke up around midday to the smell of cooking. Realising he had not eaten for some time he dragged himself up and was surprised to find he felt refreshed. He didn’t mention anything to Dandelion as she slammed a plate of food down in front of him but he was sure she had dosed him with some Elven sleep whammy spell.

He ate gratefully and grinned at her knowing full well how much she hated cooking. He quickly polished off his meal realising he had been really hungry, got up from the table, cleared up his plate, took it into the kitchen and then headed towards the computer.

Oh no you don’t! she said, You are going to leap into the shower lightly like a young elk and then we are going out for a while.

Out? he queried.

Yes, OUTSIDE. You haven’t seen the sun since your obsession with the Titanic started. You need a break, you need to come back to it when you are less tired and frustrated. These things take time, you know they do.

Jeremiah sighed and held her close. He went off to get ready and when he returned to her she was tapping her foot impatiently. Let’s move on swiftly, shall we? she grinned, repeating something she had suggested icily on their first adventure together. ⁴

They wandered around rather aimlessly at first without a clear destination in mind before stopping for coffee and cake in the ‘Quintessential Cat Café’ where the proprietor’s cats wandered around amongst the customers or draped themselves over various comfy areas and snoozed. Jeremiah appeared to be a cat magnet and he happily stroked any furry person that came his way or leaped onto his lap. Dandelion just sneezed. Eventually she couldn’t stand it any longer and politely suggested they pay up and leave.

Don’t you like cats, Dandelion? Jeremiah asked as they stepped outside.

I love ‘em but I am allergic so what can I do?

I dunno – twiddle your fingers and make the allergy go away or avoid cafes with cats in them?!

It doesn’t work that way, sadly, and I thought it was just the name of the café not a description of the contents!

They continued on for a while heading away from the main road onto smaller side streets where the buildings were older and more interesting and the shops lining them contained more intriguing wares. They paused at the Magic Shoppe, the Artemis Glass Works and the Spice Shop where Dandelion replenished their condiment supply. Eventually after many twists and turns they found themselves walking down a narrow, cobbled alleyway that turned out to be a dead end. There was a very old building there – classic black oak beams and whitewashed walls. They peered through the tiny panes of glass in one of the front bay windows and discovered that ‘The Open Book’ was one of those quaint bookshops where everything was crammed together higgledy-piggledy and the over-crowded shelves seem to lean and sag somewhat under the weight of their contents. They looked so precarious it appeared the merest breeze would knock them down like dominoes. Outside on either side of the doorway were a couple of small trestle tables with sale items both on them and in cardboard boxes underneath. Jeremiah was about to begin rummaging when Dandelion started to pull him away.

What’s up?

Nothing spectacular but I want to show you something. The main reason I dragged you out here kicking and screaming. We can come back here afterwards. Come on!

Grumbling the whole time Jeremiah took her hand and let her lead him back onto the main street. They crossed the road to the imposing sandstone Town Hall where banners announced the latest exhibition ‘Plastic People’.

OH gross, Dandelion. Is this where you intended to bring me after all?

Don’t be so squeamish, it’s utterly fascinating. I’ve been meaning to come here for ages and today is the last day of the exhibition. She all but dragged him up the stairs and through the huge oak and glass doors into the blue carpeted foyer.