My Life's a Miracle

By Thabo E. Ncamane

MY LIFE'S A MIRACLE is a recounting of Thabo E. Ncamane's painful first hand encounter with online fraudsters, in his own words. Even more importantly, he writes with such brilliance, with undercurrents of hope, in the midst of the worst luck to befall a man: losing all your livelihood.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Thabo E. Ncamane
• Release date: Jun 2, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201223793

Book preview

DEDICATION

To my father, but most of all, to The Almighty God.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I can’t help but reiterate immense gratitude to The Almighty God, above all else. The world may write you off, but God will restore you if you’re willing. Today, by His grace, I’m an Author, Motivational Speaker, and last but not least, a Publisher.

I am eternally thankful to my editors, typesetters, the crucible that shaped my stream-of-consciousness into a coherent whole.

ROCK BOTTOM

Anything that a man does that is not of God’s, will not prosper.

[Right off the bat I give the reader a fair warning, as the message in this book will cut deep into your heart. Nonetheless, the truth will always set you free, as they say. My story Is about nothing but the truth (the terrible things, ups and downs, that I came across in life) and it is with deep sadness and a lot of pain in my soul that I pen this memoirs.

How should heavens react, for the sake of justice, when life’s circumstances throw at you a barrage of misfortunes to the point your existence resembles that of a vagrant, living on the periphery?]

One saturday morning of the autumn season, the veld was brimming spectacularly with life on account of rain. I viewed this verdant scene through the window of the backroom in my parents yard where I was squatting. I'd just woken up and my reflection, shell of my former self, vaguely superimposed itself on this scene, staring back at me. Who is this man looking at me? I asked myself with horror. I felt like running away. Believe you me, I was unrecognisable by any stretch of the imagination. I resembled a moving corpse. Immediately, a strong urge to go out of the location, get some fresh air in nature, gripped me. As I was contemplating of where to go, the small hill next to Ereskuld Lower Primary School came to mind. I guess this was a very good idea that came to mind because an idle and polluted mind is the Devil’s workshop. If I'd stayed put in that dingy room after what I saw in the mirror it's safe to say I'd have done something terrible and regretable to myself. As you can imagine I was in a bad state of my life, ever since I was born. I washed myself, got dressed up and started with my miserable journey. I call it miserable because I did not know what was going on with me, and my life in general was just a mess. In that particular moment it felt like I was in a trance, viewing my confusion and misery from a remove, concern about my life causing anxiety and stress disorder. But I remembered the words of Mark Twain when he said – Courage is the resistance of fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear.

This is where the ardous journey to pluck up the courage and pick myself up began.

Upon my arrival at this hillock, I saw a small four angular rocks which drew my attention, and I used it to rest. My eyes wandering far and near at the vast expanse of the veld, something in me somehow revelled in my surroundings. For the first time in my life I have never seen nature looking so fine in a while. In the midst of all of this, a dilapidated building that used to be my school (old Ereskuld) I used attend, drew my attention. On the extreme left was another building, the new Ereskuld Lower Primary School. Next to the school was the valley of the dry bones. The graveyard. To my extreme right I saw the old NG Kerk—built in 1932 according to historical records—still intact, well preserved and well looked after. It was not vandalized, although it was no longer utilised for church services and other social activities.. In Thaba-Nchu, as in all other places, it is a norm that once an edifice is no longer in use, and is neglected for a considerable period of time, people do not waste time to vandalize it. That, to me was remarkable, a ‘miracle’ if you will.

To the far right of the NG Kerk was the newly built offices which are used by the local chief and his lieutenants as the Barolong boo-Seleka tribal authority, or the traditional local council. Below these offices, next to the main road that goes to Motlatla, Rooifontein and other nearby locations, was the remaining shells of the once beautiful house that used to be the property of the one prominent figure. He was one of the head honchos in the tribal authority. His name was Mr. Modiakgotla. He sold this dwelling when he relocated to become a permanent citizen of Botswana.

Looking at these old destroyed buildings reminded me of my youth days when I was still a quite lively and wet behind the ears. A ten year old boy doing Standard 2 at the old Ereskuld Lower Primary School. The hillock at which I was seated made me think back to when we used to play on top of this same hill during school break, or 'playtime' as we used to call it with some of my school mates. These people, who were my former school mates, flooded my memories. The likes of Ramokgele Mohapi, Mokhele Mokhua, Johannes 'Katse' Kgalaki, Oupa 'Saks' Jantjie, Sunnyboy ‘Santo’ Setlogelo,  Tshwarelo Setlogelo,  Sabata Ntshasa, Sebitso Selesho, et al. Not forgetting Tshidiso ‘Ndeki’ Leeuw who later became one the most popular and successful businessman (the owner of Love & Happiness tavern) in Thaba-Nchu. How can I forget Dr. Pitikoe from a humble family. He studied hard and later qualified as a medical doctor. Mohale o tsoa maroeleng – a giant is born from the ashes. Of my generation that passed on, these were two very outstanding gentlemen in our community in terms of achievements in life, and may their souls rest in peace. Myself and some of these guys would come together at 'playtime' with a view to contribute some money collected from each one of us (a cent or two) and use it to buy a loaf of brown bread. Mr. Modiakgotla owned a shop which was not very far from his house and our school. A loaf of brown bread then (1967) cost the mere eleven cents. After buying a loaf of brown bread, we would go back at the top of the hill and share this bread among ourselves.

Here I was on top of the very same hill. It's forty eight years later, faced with life's problems; destitute and miserable after sinking down faster than a stone in the water.  Nnete ke ya moroho, letsoai lona ke paki.  (This is but the truth about me). I had become a victim of cybercrime – this is an organized crime, an internet scam where I lost all my fortune. By fortune I mean cars, business, money and properties. How do you recover from such a disaster and move on with your life? I'll tell you right now, it's not easy picking up the pieces, let alone plucking up the courage to face the world. I now know why many never managed to survive and cope after helplessly watching everything they worked hard for slip through their fingers. Over the years we’ve seen social media taking a new turn from becoming the most powerful tool in business and brands to being the most savage tool used against other people.

While that amorphous part of me, this thing we call the soul, was finding carthasis in the environs of places where I grew up, there was our iconic mountain, perennially shrouded in mystery, the ominous Thaba-Nchu beckoning. For the first time ever since I was born and bred in Thaba-Nchu I studied this mountain and its surroundings in detail. As I indicated this mountain is black, hence the name 'Black Mountain' or 'mountain of darkness'. The Barolong tribe call it 'Fika la Mmakgabea’  (the rock of Mmakgabea). Our town derives its name from this imposing mountain.

At the foot of the mountain was the wide open, green veld. Cattle were grazing and scattered all over near its foot. There was also a small valley traversed by the N8, South Africa's national road, passing next to the mountain. On the left of the N8 road was a cluster of farms. To the far left of the mountain, hills and hillocks with various kinds of trees lined up next to them. As the sun rose I sat there looking at the clear blue sky, wondering where my next help would come from. Chilly breeze that heralds the morning was a bit stronger at the hill's altitude, blowing from the East to the West. Nature seemed to shake itself off from slumber as flora around me, from the tree to the grass, stirred in response. I sat there shivering and murmering, asking myself where to from here. A little to my right, but way farther from this scene, was the town of Thaba-Nchu nestled in nature. Mine was a breathtaking view.

Sitting there alone, I saw how the healing power of nature was working its magic on me. Slowly but surely, I started to regain my composure and started to see things in a positive light, as I was deep in thought, talking to myself and re-connecting with the universe. This made me see the interesting side of life and nature that I was never aware of for all these years. I was slowly recovering from a severe PTSD and I realised that once I open my mind to a new experience – the body heals, as well as the mind. Although, I grew up herding the cattle and riding horses, I never had one moment of sitting alone on a hill in the wilderness, reconnecting with the universe. For me, that was a completely new experience in my lifetime. I looked at both my hands and asked myself – what had these two precious hands done for me for all the years of my existence on the planet earth? from the 15th march 1980 to the 31st march 2012 I have counted millions and millions of the bank’s money using the very precious hands but I was sitting on top of a small rock as a beggar and an outcast. They had helped me to make money for other men but I could not make money for myself. What a shame!

While sitting there, I asked myself questions about life in general due to the precarious situation of my life. But what exactly is life?

The first thing that came to my mind was that life is a period between one’s birth and one’s death. However, life consists of movement and that movement is life itself. We must bear this credo in our minds as it is vital for fruitful expression of our roles on earth.These two go hand in hand: there should be effort for there to be gain, and a planned schedule based on our actions. All these mantras: Life is what you make it. Life is a journey and you must enjoy the ride. Life is about choices. Life is like a wheelbarrow it needs to be pushed. Life is like a kite, it needs to be flown. Life is like a game, it needs to be played. My personal favourite is Life is like riding a bicycle, and to keep your balance, you must keep moving.—Albert Einstein. Finally, we can describe life as a long adventure that must be shared by the people together to be happy and to achieve more.

After Adam was placed in the Garden of Eden, God realised that he was lonely and needed a soulmate as he could not cope by living alone. God wanted to see Adam fullfilled and very happy. He was provided with everything but a partner. Stripped down to the basics, that's the meaning of life: leading a purposeful and fullfilling lives. The problem is that life is replete with forces that war against us, meddling and trading our peace for misery. This way you have less to be grateful for.

Behind every successful man there is always a strong woman and/or vice versa. Motho ke motho ka batho - we need each other - to make a success out of life. The problem is that other people come into our lives with alterior motives, while others come into our lives to add value.

My reasons for asking these questions about life was due to the difficulties that I came across, hence I found myself ‘wanting’ and sitting like a lone ranger on top of a hill. I came to realise that we can always prepare ourselves for the good or bad things in life but we cannot predict them. We can also prepare ourselves for death, but we do not know when and how we are going to leave this earth. Those who know better always say that death is part of the human journey, and none is spared. Nonetheless, the most important thing in life is what we leave behind when the time comes to cross that river - what is your legacy to mankind.

I believe that every human being in this world wants to be happy as much as they can while they are still alive. No one wants to live a miserable life. Sometimes, we make choices in life which we think will bring us ‘joy and happiness,’ but during the course of our journey, we realize that we have made wrong choices. Humans by nature desire wealth. We are always not happy with the little that we have. We always want to have more and possess more. The reality is, we will not have everything.

Grasp all, lose all – means trying to obtain everything will often result in gaining nothing. Greedy people should remember that to grasp all, is to risk losing all. I am a typical example here. I became greedy and lost everything while trying to obtain more because I lost focus in the course of my life's journey. It doesn’t matter how much you have achieved, one failure and you are back to square one.

We must always focus in life, but what exactly is focus? This is the ability to do what you have set out to do until it’s completed. Focus goes hand in hand with time, as time is very precious. In life we must always identify our priorities and work diligently to advance them. Stay focused on the goal and complete the work. Distractions will always present themselves, but you must stay focused on your assignment. Inspiration is neither coveteous nor competitive. Respect your pace and God’s Grace will prevail in your endeavours.

Thus, after failing dismally in life, and thinking hard about the do’s and don’t’s of life, I reassessed my life from childhood hitherto, and realized that it will be a good thing if I were to write a book about my life. The pen is mightier than the sword. Truth be told, what made me to go out of the location and sit on that small rock, was the difficulties in terms of my precarious financial position and other terrible life challenges that I went through. I just wanted to be alone and think properly about what I was going to do with my life going forward. Wrong choices and bad decisions that I made in life thinking that I knew better).

This book, MY LIFE’S A MIRACLE, covers all my life since I was a small boy until I became an adult. The idea of writing a book about myself came to me in 2006, even though my life in general was not getting any better. This idea became dormant for some time because I thought that I was winning the  battle against the demons that were trying by all means to pull me down. However, it became very clear that I was very wrong in thinking that I was winning my battles. In 2013 I was finally knocked down by my life challenges and I fell flat on my face. I was down and out. After this sobering episode it's when I decided that now is the time to write an autobiography, and it is not always a good story. I believe that my own words about my own life should be read as critically as any other literature.

After losing everything that I accumulated over the years, I was discarded, disowned, hated by my own family members, even my soulmate and those closest to me. Despite explaining everything to my immediate family members, explaining my predicament, no one wanted to listen to me. Now, and very importantly, I do not blame them for their behaviour because they were really devastated and disappointed as well. One moment, I'm riding the crest of the wave, they looking up to me – the next moment they see me crestfallen. Truly speaking, I disappointed them and myself too, and they never expected that to happen to me and needless to say, neither did I.

Never in my life have I ever thought that one day I would see myself begging. Especially now that I was nearing my retirement period. A period that we all cherish because we can look back with nostalgia at our journey due to that old too familiar trail of blood, sweat and tears.

My family instantly saw a fool in me due to what had transpired. But again, who can really blame them for reacting like that? Not a soul. In order for the people who did not know anything about me to understand about my life properly and all the events that led to my ‘demise’ – I saw it ‘fit’ to write about my life. One of my family members during this critical period of my life said something to me that felt like a knife to my heart: You squandered your monies thereafter you shift blame.

I just want to state that my downfall started somewhere (at a certain point) and they were ignited and escalated by other unpleasant things that followed me in my life journey. The mishaps did not just happen in one day. It was a combination of many challenges in my life over a period of time.

What goes up must come down. The fact of the matter was that I was pointing fingers at the people who robbed me, and this is not me pointing a finger at her, nor was I even seeking empathy from her. I was just explaining what had happened, that I ultimately found myself in the terrible situation I was in. Therefore her negative remarks made me aware of the fact that sometimes our loved ones are not a safe option to offload weighty issues. The truth is that, I had what I can call wrong dealings with very corrupt and very cruel people. If I was dealing with animals, I would not have lost all my monies and properties, but because I was dealing with a human being it was not possible for me to escape asnare or atrap that was set before me. I had no choice, but to point at them. After all these terrible events, I came to realize that it is always best if one deals with animals because the trust and love you build around them is reciprocal.

They become your best friends who never say a word when you talk to them but understand you regardless. They would never rob or harm you. Again, they would not go around talking ill (gossiping) about your downfalls and your problems like people do. Your secrets are save with them. A man’s best friend is a dog, and when you talk with them they will respond by barking and jumping at you as well as licking your hands to show you love and appreciation without pretending. Instead of being your enemy they will protect you against your enemies without any pretence as their master at all costs. Beware of everyone that is very close to you on this planet earth because they could just be Judas Iscariot incarnate.

Millions of people have been scammed the world over and being gullible does not mean that you are stupid, but it is not nice to be one of the stats of cyber crime. It's a disgraceful cross to bear. Wisdom comes with taking responsibility: I apologise for offending and disappointing all my family members and those who really cared about me. This was not intentional. I really shot myself in the foot by trying to gain more of the material things on top of what I had already achieved.

This has taught me that one of the most tragic things in life is that you can be fantastic today and be forgotten tomorrow. We can quickly go from success to total failure.

Human wickedness is clearly stated in the book of genesis 6- verses 6-8: When the lord saw how wicked was everyone on earth and how evil their thoughts were all the time, he was sorry that he had ever made them and put them on earth. He was so filled with regret that he said, I will wipe out these people I have created and also the animals and the birds – because I am sorry that I made any of them".

The above is a fact. Everything in life happens for a reason and I believe so. Those terrible things have happened to me so that I can be able to make other people aware and warn them about the dangerous animal called a human being. My mess should become my message to other people.

Now, here is a million dollar question: "How can I work so hard for three and half decades, having grown up under very trying and difficult circumstances? Accumulated ‘material things’ only to throw them down the drain? Is stupidity to blame?

Here is my answer: as human beings, we live but once and we want to make sure that before we depart on this planet earth we have enjoyed and lived our lives to the fullest. Therefore, we all have plans, visions and high aims about our lives. Through the course of our live's journey, we are also prone to make mistakes. We make this mistakes while persuing our dreams. It goes without saying I am not an exception here. I have made one of the most terrible mistakes in my life, but there were reasons that made me to commit such grave mistakes. Albert Einstein said, A person who never made a mistake, has never tried anything new.

While I was trying something new, that’s when I made mistakes that put me where I am today.  The whale, the largest living mammal to date, isn't immune to turbulences, so to speak. We see the way they beach themselves due to man-made problems affecting the oceans. We don’t have to run away from our problems. We have to learn to be accountable for all our actions. False winds of deception always mislead us. Indeed, the grass may look greener on the other side, but the most embarrassing thing is when we do cross over only to arrive to a mirage. These are the knocks that we get from the venerable The University of Life.

The question is, what do you do when you come across such disappointments? Are you going to run away or face them? It is not out of a ‘deliberate choice’ that I have found myself on the wrong side of life. With every step we take in life we define ourselves, but our ambitions and plans are always derailed by negative forces – as long as satan prowls around like a roaring lion – (1peter 5: 8), he will wreak havoc among God’s people. Lucifer, the fallen angel has no mercy.

No normal human being will ever choose such a life. A miserable, directionless life. In most cases, it is a question of making wrong decisions or wrong choices and taking risks thinking that by doing that you’ll make a breakthrough in life. Since I was knocked down by these challenges in life, I have come to realize that life is too short for one to make grave mistakes which can destroy you within the blink of an eye. All my downfalls in life have taught me that life is too short to waste time looking for the things that you cannot achieve as we live but once on this earth. Once you are dead, you will be gone for ever, and there is no second chance. Those who know better will tell you that knowledge is power and without it we perish, but knowledge only becomes power when it’s put to proper use for the betterment of an individual and society at large.

Sometimes we do things in life thinking that we know everything and nothing will ever go wrong in our lives. Life has a funny way of humbling us back without even realizing it, until we find ourselves in hot waters. To be aware of the dangers of life, the perfect blend for a human being to succeed is a lively mind (wisdom) in a fit body. To overcome the harsh realities of life, we should always look up to the ones who know better. Listen to the intellectuals but not scammers because there are intellectuals who are scammers. Learn from the best and we must not reject criticism. Everybody in life loves a winner. Once you falter in life and become an outcast, literally no one wants to be associated with you. Batho ba tla reng? What would people say? All our actions whether positive or negative have consequences. When you walk by in the street after falling on hard times people would talk about you in hush tones and say: Jo bathong, my goodness – he is so shabby and miserable. Where did he think he will end up to? Ke lefatsheng mona.

We have been reading and we are still reading about  Job, the man of God who lost all his wealth and children during the worst trial to man. God was testing his faith. God agreed to hand Job over to the hands of the enemy. Eventually he became an outcast. Nobody wanted to be associated with him. His wife, who vowed to be with him through thick and thin, distanced herself from this man of God. She was only after material things. Her true colours were revealed after Job had fallen on hard times. Instead of supporting him through the difficult times, she asked Job to insult the Mighty God, who had created them both. Job never turned his back away from God despite all the difficulties he was faced with in life. Job said, "Naked came I out of my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return thither: the lord gave, and the lord hath taken away, blessed be the name of God –  (Job1:21)

Calamities can leave us off balance and confused. One poet once wrote: When the road you are trudging seems all uphill, rest if you must, but don’t you quit. Ultimately, the Lord God, our All Mighty, realized how obedient Job was, and God restored all the things that he had lost. This time as we are told, they multiplied. This is a lesson to all of us human beings that we must always have perseverance in the face of adversity. If job passed this huge demanding test, I also believe that I will see the light someday.

In the book of Colossians 3:23-25 it is stated that – And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the lord and not unto men, knowing that of the lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance, for ye serve the lord Christ. 

The Bible tells us when Jesus Christ was praying in Gethsemane grief and anguish came over Him and He said to his disciplines who were with him: The sorrow in my heart is so great that it almost crushes me. He threw himself face downwards on the ground and prayed, My father if it is possible take this cup of suffering from me yet not what I want but what you want. At that time there was no turning back for Jesus Christ as he had to go through what God ordained before the foundations of the Earth. No one, and no one except Jesus Christ was supposed to go through what He went through. When he found that his disciples were asleep, he said to them, Keep watch and pray that you will not fall into temptation, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. Once more Jesus went away and prayed, My father, if this cup of suffering cannot be taken away unless I drink it, your will be done."—(Mat.14:32-42)

In this critical period in my life, no one was there for me. Now, the question is, if it was not me Thabo Ncamane who went through those difficulties, then who was it supposed to be?

If fate is directed at you whether you like it or not, clever or stupid, you have to face the consequences and deal with them. Quitters never win. Even if people have rejected you – the most important thing is the God given life. Whether you do good or bad, not everybody will like you in life. When days are dark friends are very few. But I add, it's darkest when stars appear. We can learn from icons the tricks of the trade of persevering.

Walt Disney tried and failed 300 times before he could secure a loan to start Disneyland. He never gave up on his dream until he got what he wanted. Today he is no more, but he left the legacy. Henry Ford was very poor and not so well schooled, but he had a dream and a vision about manufacturing or inventing his own vehicle (Ford). As we are told, he failed 5 times before his brand, Ford