A Southern Street King Earned Her Love 2

By Porscha Sterling

Bleu knew that her life would never be the same from the moment she met Gucci, but she had no idea just how much things would change. 

Meeting Gucci seemed like a dream come true but when real life, real feelings and real drama begins to become a real problem between them, Bleu realizes that in trying to escape one situation, she's only made a bigger problem for herself. Determined not to be anybody's victim anymore, Bleu decides that it's time for her to live on her own and push Gucci out of her life. However, what she doesn't know is that Gucci has no intentions of ever leaving. 

When Bleu decides to do what no woman has ever done before and remove Gucci from her life, his ego takes an unexpected hit that he doesn't quite know how to deal with. As a man who has rarely heard 'no' from any woman, it becomes a major problem for him when he's rejected by the one woman he doesn't want to admit that he can't live without. With Bleu moving on, intent on living her life without him in it, he knows that he has to make some tough first-time decisions if he doesn't want to lose her. 

But, after fully accepting himself as a certified gangsta without the ability to love, is it possible for him to be the man she needs for him to be?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Porscha Sterling, LLC
• Release date: Apr 30, 2022
• ISBN: 9781637182062

Porscha Sterling

PORSCHA STERLING is an influencer, publisher, and national bestselling author who is widely considered the exemplar of self-publishing success in the digital age. Winner of the SHEEN Magazine Literary Excellence Award, she’s best known for her book series Bad Boys Do It Better.   Sterling holds an MBA, which helped her in the development of her publishing company, Royalty Publishing House, a stronghold in the African-American literary community, publishing many top-selling novels in the urban, contemporary romance, interracial romance, and women’s fiction genres. Sterling has also partnered with fellow best-selling author and publisher, Leo Sullivan, on the launch of a mobile app, known as the LiT Reading App, which connects readers with exclusive material from independent authors. To find out more information about Porscha Sterling, visit all of the social media outlets at @Porscha_Sterling and her website, PorschaSterling.com.

Book preview

Title Page

Contents

Acknowledgments

Dedication

Synopsis

A Southern Street King Earned Her Heart Playlist

1. Balancing Bleu

2. Gutta Gucci

3. Crazy Cyn

4. Bleu Balls

5. Practical Prada

6. Grateful Gucci

7. Pretend Prada

8. Blissfully Bleu

9. Tearful Taeji

10. Pastor Stephen

11. Good Gucci

12. Bangin’ Bleu

13. Jealous Gucci

14. Painting Prada

15. Creeping Cyn

16. Peeping…Gucci?

17. Abandoned & Bleu

18. Tee Many Choices

19. Powerful Prada

20. Bumbling Bleu

21. Scheming Stephen

22. Confused Cyndria

23. Teasing Taeji

24. Breaking Bleu

25. Surprise, Gucci

26. Meet Carmen

27. Empress Prada

28. Stand up Stephen

29. Impress Prada

30. Taeji Kamikaze

31. Grieving Gucci

Epilogue

Note From Porscha Sterling

Afterword

To the extent that the images on the cover of this book depict a person or persons, such person or persons are merely models, and are not intended to portray any character or characters featured in the book.

This PORSCHA STERLING, INC. book is being published by

Royalty Publishing House, LLC.

P.O. Box 924043

Norcross, GA 30010

Copyright © 2022 by Porscha Sterling

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means without the prior written consent of the Publisher, excepting brief quotes used in reviews.

Cover Designer: Marion Designs

Acknowledgments

Thank you so much to everyone who continues to support my work. I owe it all to you!

Signature

Dedication

For Al and Kingston. And Bailey-Cat

Synopsis

Bleu knew that her life would never be the same from the moment she met Gucci, but she had no idea just how much things would change. 

Meeting Gucci seemed like a dream come true but when real life, real feelings and real drama begins to become a real problem between them, Bleu realizes that in trying to escape one situation, she's only made a bigger problem for herself. Determined not to be anybody's victim anymore, Bleu decides that it's time for her to live on her own and push Gucci out of her life. However, what she doesn't know is that Gucci has no intentions of ever leaving. 

When Bleu decides to do what no woman has ever done before and remove Gucci from her life, his ego takes an unexpected hit that he doesn't quite know how to deal with. As a man who has rarely heard 'no' from any woman, it becomes a major problem for him when he's rejected by the one woman he doesn't want to admit that he can't live without. With Bleu moving on, intent on living her life without him in it, he knows that he has to make some tough first-time decisions if he doesn't want to lose her. 

But, after fully accepting himself as a certified gangsta without the ability to love, is it possible for him to be the man she needs for him to be?

Download & listen to the playlist as you read.

Listen now on Spotify or Apple Music!

Playlist

When we face pain in relationships our first response is often to sever bonds rather than to maintain commitment.

BELL HOOKS, ALL ABOUT LOVE: NEW VISIONS

Chapter 1

Balancing Bleu

"This nigga keep callin’ me talkin’ ‘bout he want his baby back. Motherfucka better call CPS. I used to be ‘shorty’ and everything else, but now he wanna call me baby. Baby, baby, baby…everything but his fuckin’ girlfriend or his wife. I’m so done!"

Blowing out a whoosh of air so hard that it flipped her flat-ironed bangs, Cyndria pouted with her arms folded across her chest. Eyeing her for a moment, I used one of my textbooks to prop the phone up so I could be handsfree as I spoke to her on FaceTime.

"Cyn, a few days ago you were mad because he hadn’t been calling you at all and now you’re mad because he is calling you. What do you really want?"

There was a long pause as she thought that out. Then she huffed out a breath as the answer finally occurred to her.

The only thing I want from Julius is for him to be honest with me. He says a lot of shit that doesn’t match up to his actions. He says he loves me, that he doesn’t love them, and yet he’s with them and not me.

I know exactly what you mean, I said. That was how Ellis was with me.

And my boyfriend before.

And before.

And before.

I was terrible at choosing men. And I hated to admit it.

Lifting my eyes, I watched as other students sitting in the outside area around me laughed with friends, finished their lunch, studied, or worked on an assignment. Everyone was in their own world, focused on their own problems, totally oblivious to whatever was going on with anyone else around them.

I should have been like them: focusing on my own shit. But I didn’t want to because whenever I thought about what I was going through, it all seemed so big. Talking to Cyndria helped me get out of my head. On some level, it made my life’s dysfunction feel slightly smaller. Like I wasn’t the only one who kept falling in love with niggas who did nothing but give me their ass to kiss.

I looked up, for some reason, my eyes focusing on a young couple holding hands.

Puppy love, I thought as I watched them, walking slowly across the grass, enjoying each other’s company. The sight made me smile.

So… anyways, when are you going to be back to work from your mini-vacation? Cyndria popped her gum.

It wasn’t vacation. I was getting ready to get back to class, I told her. And I’ll be back next Monday. I gotta get my money back right.

Reaching in my bag, I pulled a stick of gum out and stuck it in my mouth. I was hungry, but I had already eaten everything that I’d brought from home. Gucci gave me a place to stay, which was wonderful, but my funds were still limited.

That’s what I’m talking about. Cynthia clapped her hands. Independent woman. I can tell you firsthand that as soon as a nigga start giving you money and shit, he start making all kinds of demands. Wanna control you, even though he quick to remind you that you ain’t his girl.

Right, I agreed with quick nod of my head. I’ve been in that kind of situation before and I’ll never do it again. My mama said a lot of things that I didn’t like but one thing she always told me was ‘never let whatever a man give you be the only thing you have’ and I put my faith in that. Whatever is given can always be taken away.

Yeah. I mean, you already learned that the hard way with Ellis.

My cheeks flamed and I ducked my eyes. Cyndria was speaking facts that I’d already accepted for myself. But it still was embarrassing. I couldn’t believe how stupid I’d been while I was dealing with Ellis. I guess it was true what they said... Love made you do some dumb ass things.

I damn sure miss you being here, though, Cyndria added, dropping her voice to a whisper as she looked behind her to make sure she wasn’t being overheard. She had called me during her break at the daycare while the kids were down for a nap. "Juana been filling in for you. She’s from the other daycare, the one in East Point. And man, that bitch be getting on my nerves. All she does all the time is talk about her girlfriend and how she spoils her, alllll the things that she buys her and how she is the best thing since sliced bread. I’m so sick of it."

I giggled at the pouty look on her face. You aren’t sick of it. You’re jealous.

Yes, the fuck I am, she admitted without hesitation.

That was one thing about her that I loved. She didn’t hide a thing.

That hoe got me wanting to try out being a lesbian. Like, damn! Is that all I been missing? I just need to give up on niggas all together and find me a chick who I can tolerate enough to lay with?

Cocking my head to the side, I stared at her through squinting eyes. "I don’t think that’s how that works, Cyn. I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to be a lesbian because you actually are a lesbian. You’re not supposed to find somebody you can tolerate just because of what they can give you. I don’t see that working out in the way you want it to."

Whatever! How come all the advice you give me has to do with me being single and alone? she scoffed, rolling her eyes. Anyways, enough of me, what’s new with you? What’s going on with you and Gucci? Did ya’ll do the nasty yet?

For the second time in five minutes, my cheeks heated up. Cyn, only old people call it ‘the nasty’, I replied, trying to avoid answering the question.

"You did do it, didn’t you? A wide smile spread across her face. So you living at this nigga’s house, he broke you off with some bread, you broke him off with some coochie— I flinched at her words. And he’s probably going to deal with your Butler issue, too. Damn! You lost your husband but fuck that nigga. He ain’t got shit on your boyfriend!"

I frowned, crinkling up my nose. I haven’t told him anything about Butler yet, I admitted with a shrug. And... Gucci’s not my boyfriend.

Noticing the look on my face, Cyndria bit the inside of her cheek. I always wore my emotions in my expressions on full display. Anyone who paid enough attention to me could read me like a book.

So, he’s not your boyfriend. What are y’all? Friends with benefits? Is it a situationship? An entanglement?

I shook my head. We aren’t any of that. Just friends, I guess. He’s definitely not my boyfriend. I knew that much for sure, based off the simple fact that I hadn’t heard from him much since the day he had sex with me. I didn’t want to be clingy and hit him with text after text. I was a grown ass woman and that was the shit that little girls would do. But I couldn’t stop myself from wondering if the time he wasn’t dealing with me was being spent entertaining other women.

"Do you want him to be your boyfriend?" Cyndria asked, as if reading my thoughts.

Yeah...I think so, I quietly admitted. I’m not dealing with anyone else... it would be nice to know that he wasn’t doing nothing with any other women, too.

"Did you ask him about it?"

I shook my head. It seemed like such a simple thing, but even thinking about having that conversation with Gucci had me feeling conflicted. Mainly because I felt like it wasn’t going to go my way.

So why don’t you just ask him about it the next time y’all talk? Cyndria shrugged as if it were just that simple. "Bitch, he’s taking care of you, giving you money. Protecting you. He’s doing way more than any nigga I’ve ever been with. My toxic trait is that I’m used to doin’ the most for niggas who ain’t doin’ shit for me. But you got a nigga you ain’t did a damn thing for and he’s going the extra mile for you. You better lock his ass down as soon as you can. Or some other bitch might make a move before you do."

I nodded, letting her words sink in. She was right and I knew it. Gucci was giving me boyfriend vibes. We had a crazy connection. We got along effortlessly. And that was big considering, before him, all of my relationships outside of the one I had with Cyndria, required a lot of effort.

I’m not telling you what I think, I’m telling you what I know, she continued. Because if you don’t say what you expect and need from a nigga, girl… his ass will run amuck.

I almost choked on my laugh. "He will do what?"

Run amuck! She wide-eyed me. What? You don’t know what that means?

"I know what it means, I said, somewhat stifling my laugh. But who the hell says that?" I checked the time on my phone. I had about ten minutes to get to my next class.

Girl, I do, she replied, rolling her eyes. Julius be doing so much, I had to go grab my Websters and come up with some new shit to describe the fuckery he be having me involved in.

Shaking my head, I couldn’t help but laugh at that. Girl, I’mma have to hit you back later. I gotta go to class.

Ending the call, I grabbed my books and began placing them in my bag.

Life always had a way of knocking you on your ass when you least expected it. For that reason, I trained myself to always expect the worse. It’s hard to get caught off guard with life’s bullshit when you were convinced that bullshit was all you were going to get.

It was the only thing keeping my present situation with Gucci from getting to me.

"One thing about a man, he is going to find a way to let you down."

It was a lesson I learned from my mother so long ago. It was how I protected myself from being hurt. Which always seemed to happen once I let my guard down. I was afraid the same thing would happen to me when it came to Gucci.

Sighing, I stepped through the open door ahead of me, entering my first class of the day. It was crazy how much my life had changed in such a short time. Far beyond what I’d ever expected or even dreamed.

As soon as I was focused on getting my life together, things seemed to fall in line. Everything fell in sync and less than a couple months later I was a college student. A pregnant college student.

It was so surreal when I thought about it. It was why I refused to focus on the fact that I was still waiting on Gucci to call me.

Everyone come on in and find a seat, the professor said as I walked in. Take your books out and turn to the 6th chapter. We have a lot of information to cover, so we’ll be starting on time.

Forcing my lips into a weak smile, I slid into a desk besides a girl who looked about as preoccupied on her own thoughts as me. Glancing my way, she delivered a weak smile of her own.

Sighing, I pulled out my book and notebook, feeling much less excited for class than I’d been before Cyndria’s call. I wasn’t prepared for the emotions she stirred inside me by mentioning Gucci. Prior to her bringing him to the surface, I’d tucked him away. Now she’d moved him right back to the forefront of my thoughts and, once again, he was living rent free in my mind.

Let’s get started.

Renewing my focus on the present, I began prepping my notepad for the days’ lecture notes and tried to concentrate on the discussion. I lasted for all about a good five minutes before my thoughts went to Gucci again.

Why hadn’t he called me yet? I mean, we had sex and he hadn’t bothered to even send a text. I wasn’t trying to be clingy or anything but what the fuck? It just seemed disrespectful, and it was hard for me not to take it personally.

He was treating me like he didn’t care. But what kind of man gave a woman a place to stay, a car, and pays her tuition if he really doesn’t? Something wasn’t adding up and I couldn’t get over the feeling that somehow, some way, I was getting played.

Chapter 2

Gutta Gucci

GUCCI

My phone buzzed on the table beside me, but I screwed my eyes tightly shut, doing my best to ignore it. I already knew who was calling, but I didn’t want to answer. I had been ignoring her calls for a couple days so far, thinking it would make a difference, however, nothing had changed.

Go slower, I said, speaking to the chick with her face positioned in between my legs.

She was slurping up my meat like she hadn’t eaten in ages. Gobbling it hungrily like my dick was the last bit of soup in the bowl. Not only that, but she was making crazy ass sound effects, growling, and moaning like a deranged, crazy animal. The more she did it, the more it turned me off. And the more it turned me off, the more she did it. It was a vicious, fuckin’ cycle.

Like this? she managed to ask, still rolling my dick around the inside of her jaws.

Yeah, I replied even though it was a lie. Honestly, it didn’t matter whether she was going fast or slow, it wasn’t doing a damn thing to get rid of the memory of when Bleu had done the same shit. But better.

I wasn’t even one of those niggas who was crazy about head. I only let chicks do it because, in my mind, it led to less of a headache than fuckin’ them would. Once you fucked a chick, she felt like you owed her something. Things immediately changed because, in her mind, she gave you something that entitled her in some way. She could claim you because you were ‘hers’ and couldn’t fuck nobody else or she felt vindicated about fucking your shit up. I don’t know why shit worked that way with women, but it just did.

I made a point of practicing self-discipline when it came to broads I allowed myself to entertain because I knew first-hand that fuckin’ random bitches just because I could, always brought a bunch of bullshit. When me and Louis were younger, we did it because we didn’t know better. We fucked everything that moved and did it twice. It wasn’t until we stopped to think about the drama happening in our lives that we realized the dysfunctional shit happening around us was coming from the type of women we were dealin’ with.

My philosophy was simple: if you were going to mutt a chick, you had to seek out bitches who felt like they deserved to be treated like a mutt. They were easy and wouldn’t give you no problems when you moved on without giving a damn because they didn’t have an ounce of self-worth. It was fucked up to say it but that’s just how niggas thought about it. Women who didn’t give a shit about themselves attracted niggas who didn’t give a shit about them either.

My current problem was that my dick didn’t get hard anymore for women like that. I preferred someone with standards. I wanted Bleu.

Ayo, ma. You good, I said to the girl, waving her away.

I couldn’t even pretend anymore. Everything about Bleu applied pressure and even my thoughts about her were too intense. She had invaded my mind to the point that I was at a loss on what to do. My normal methods of distraction weren’t working for me anymore. I kept trying to run from her, but there was no use.

You sure, daddy? a small voice said.

Lowering my head, I locked eyes with shorty kneeling between my legs. Her face was shiny wet. Light-caramel cheeks flushed red. She’d put in work, licking, sucking, spitting, and rubbing, but from the look of my flaccid pole, it seemed like she didn’t do a damn thing I needed her to do.

Yeah, I’m good. My mind ain’t in it, I replied, for some reason feeling the need to ease the sting of rejection.

Okay, she replied, dropping her eyes. Can I still sit with you in V.I.P.?

I answered her with a shrug and that one movement was enough to make her eyes light up.

In my world, women were always vying for the chance to be mistaken as being connected with me in some way. Even if it was a well-known fact that I didn’t have a girlfriend, they didn’t have a problem with being seen as someone who was only there to provide pleasure for the night. In their eyes, it was still a win.

We walked out from behind the partition of the V.I.P., me at the head with the woman behind me, struggling to keep up with my long strides as she wobble-walked in her unbuckled stiletto heels. I hadn’t waited at all for her to get herself together before leaving, so she didn’t have time to button the clasp on her shoes. Shorty looked like she was about to fall face first on the floor, trying to make sure I didn’t get too far ahead. But I just kept on walking. I didn’t give a fuck.

I know you in love with me, that’s cool.

She say my name and she getting’ a tattoo

We should’ve been together, it’s past due.

Now let’s go have some fun in this back room.

I bobbed my head to the beat as I walked. That quickly I was in a better mood. Fuck head, maybe catching a vibe with some music was really what I needed. At least that came with less of a headache and no aggravation.

A thick haze of weed smoke made it hard to see in the dimly lit club,