A Day in the Life: a Jinx Named Joe: A Romance Story

By BJ McQueen

A Day in the Life of: A Jinx Named Joe (A Romance Story) is the tale of a nice boy who meets a nice girl. But, what happens when the nice girl meets the nice guy who just happens to be a jinx?

When Joseph Tanner first meets Lisa Newman, they literally fall head over heels...on each other.

Lisa knew the instant she fell on the handsome klutz that he was the one for her.

The next time Joseph and Lisa meet, it’s head on. His head, her car.

So, just how do Lisa, her best friend Gina and Joe’s best friend, Cherry, a lounge lizard and nightclub singer, help the amnesiac Jinx recover his memory, all the while being chased by thugs, dog nappers, crazy ex-girlfriends and a mysterious artist named Conrad Binkendorf? Read and find out!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Apr 14, 2022
• ISBN: 9781669820123

Book preview

Chapter One

You know, this is the perfect man for you.

Who?

Him.

Him? Why would you say that?

Well, for one thing, he’s handsome.

True.

He’s single.

Uh-huh.

And, he doesn’t talk back. You can dress him any way you’d like. And, when you’re done with him, you can tear him limb from limb and pack him away in a box.

Sounds like your ex-boyfriend.

Yeah, Peter was a real doll. But, he didn’t have one this big.

Oh, Gina! Don’t touch that; you’re going to break it off.

Let go. I had it first.

Gina put it down!

Oh Lisa, it’s only a...oops.

Lisa retrieved the fallen appendage and managed to shove it back into place.

Gina giggled.

Lis, it’s upside down. Though, maybe he’s just happy to see you.

Lisa began mumbling something about anatomically correct mannequins and twisted the extended extremity to its proper position.

There. Done.

Lisa dragged a hand through her sweaty hair and sighed.

Gina was giggling.

What?

I don’t know, Lis. I think he likes you. I mean, look at the space cowboy smile on his face.

Lisa grinned.

Shaddup, Gina.

It was about that time of day when the usual mall crowd gathered outside the window of Merlin’s for the changing of the display. It had become a weekly ritual ever since Lisa and Gina had been put in charge of arranging the window presentations for the department store. Lisa usually arranged the mannequins and fixtures, while Gina managed the clothing and props.

You’d think they’d never seen a naked mannequin before.

I don’t think it’s the mannequins they’re looking at Gina. Where on earth did you find that sweater?

Malon’s kiddie department.

Lisa was shocked but not surprised. Her friend was known for her outlandish apparel that always accentuated her great figure.

You didn’t!

Gina grinned.

I did.

Oh! I can’t believe you did that! That’s so...

Indecent? Lewd? Racy. Anything else from the thesaurus?

No. Actually, I was going to say it was a nice fit.

Thank you. It was on sale.

Lisa shook her head. Sure, her best friend could fit into a size negative four, but Lisa Louise.

Newman would never be able to pull it off. Or on, for that matter. She looked at her reflection in the window and brushed off her dull, brown apron. Boring, that’s exactly how she felt right now. If she only looked like the figures in the display, she’d have it made. Instead, at a mere 5’6" and almost 140 pounds, with 10-inch shoe size, she didn’t have a typical mannequin build. Plus, the fact that she was nearly forty years old. Well, forty was kind of taking it far, she supposed. After all, she was only 32, but she felt every bit of it today. Lisa figured that in a few years, she’d instantly turn into her Aunt Bertha, the one with a hairy lip and 23 cats.

Though, thinking back, she’d just about given up any chance of meeting someone. That was until Warren came along.

Dr. Warren Greene, every girl’s dream, including that buxom blonde she found him with on his examining table. She couldn’t have called off that wedding any faster. She felt a shudder pass through her. Warren was still around and still interested. He might be a slime ball, but he was the only handsome, successful slime ball who’d ever asked for her hand in marriage. As a matter of fact, he was the only one who’d ever asked her on a date, period! Well, Nowhere, Texas wasn’t exactly the romance capital of the world. Pickings were slim in this neck of the woods. Watching Gina, Lisa suddenly felt self-conscious and ran a hand through her short, shaggy, brown out-of-style Meg Ryan-ish doo.

Lisa chewed her only good nail and watched as Gina prepared the female mannequin’s clothing, adjusting the wig on its head. Lisa turned and looked at the crowd outside the window and noticed a man standing off to the side, adjusting his cap and buttoning his coat. There wasn’t anything peculiar about that action. Still, the man under the hat, buttoning his tattered gray corduroy coat, was very handsome. Though he seemed a little spare, his jacket seemed a little bare, his face sported a light covering of whiskers, a good thing in her book. She didn’t go in for the mountain-man type.

From what she could see under the unattractive black-rimmed glasses, his eyes were light, maybe blue. That was a plus too. He adjusted his cap over collar length, wavy brown hair. He must have been looking into the window reflection because he wasn’t looking at anyone in particular. Studying him, she sighed as he walked away and into the store.

Hmm, Lisa said to no one in particular.

Hmm, what? Gina asked.

That guy that just walked in, the one with the cap and the black horn-rimmed glasses. Does he look familiar to you?

Gina straightened the hem on the mannequin’s skirt, stood, and brushed at her knees.

Who?

The one the right there. The one in the cap.

What about him? Oh, what romance book cover did he fall off of? He’s cute. I’d bet he’d look better in contacts, though.

Gina turned, watching the man in question, being spritzed by a clerk wearing a pink apron and wielding a bottle of something in the shape of a...

Toad.

What?

Melissa McPherson is such a toad. She just jumped that poor guy. He didn’t stand a chance.

She’s got an itchy trigger finger.

I’ll give her the finger.

Gina! Behave yourself. What’s wrong with you anyway?

Gina pouted. I didn’t have my cappuccino this morning.

Well, tomorrow I’m bringing you a gallon size jug of it.

Just make sure it’s vanilla with a light hint of cocoa and a sprinkling of hazelnut.

Lisa sighed. You are a nut.

Gina smiled. Thanks.

You know, he really does look kind of familiar, Lisa said.

The scruffy hottie?

I know I’ve seen him someplace before. Never mind, it’ll come to me.

Maybe you know him from school.

Nowhere High? Our high school? Are you kidding? We knew the only guys were either related to us or in the Computer Club. Besides, with only 200 kids in the entire school, we would have noticed someone like him. Anyway, we weren’t popular enough to hang around with someone like that. I wonder if he’s from Burlington or someplace.

Hey! Speak for yourself. I was popular, as a matter of fact.

Only because you were good at math and the clarinet.

Gina smacked Lisa on the shoulder.

Ow. Now, if you know this guy, then I know this guy. Now shaddup and let me think.

Uh-oh. The lights are beginning to dim. The energy you’re using is causing a power shortage.

Lisa was pretending to look shocked, and Gina began to laugh.

I don’t know Lisa. Maybe you met him in one of your night classes at the college?

Yeah. Maybe. Well, that guy is definitely not from this town. But, I can’t help but think I’ve seen him before. Maybe he really is from Burlington?

Yeah, I’d have definitely noticed him. I’d have dated him by now.

What makes you think he’s your type, Gin?

Well, he’s good-looking.

And?

Yep. That about sums it up.

Geez Gin, that sounds awfully shallow.

What? I added blush this morning.

Gina quickly checked her reflection in the window.

Not sallow...shallow. Oh, never mind. You look fine.

"And, speaking of fine...

As if reading each other’s thoughts, Lisa and Gina did 180s to watch the handsome guy. On the other hand, the guy was studying an article of clothing that didn’t suit him at all.

Oh, I hope he’s not really considering that sequined taffeta shirt. It’s from the Retro Saturday Night Fever Collection, isn’t it?

Lisa giggled and continued primping, shaking her head.

Aw, I don’t know, Gin; he seems kind of lonely, don’t you think?

He’s alone, but most likely, he’s not lonely. Good-looking guys like that are never lonely. There’s always some good-looking girl to go with those good-looking guys. It’s a sad fact of life.

Lisa clucked her tongue.

Remind me about that gallon of cappuccino that I owe you.

Gina ignored her friend.

Besides, like you said, he’s probably from out of town. You know, if we’d moved out of town, we’d have married something like him before now.

Instead of something like Warren, you were going to say.

I didn’t say one word about that dork. Though...

I know, I’ve always dreamed of getting away from this town. Well, at least we moved!

Yeah. We moved from our parent’s house to our own apartments. That’s really sad. What’s that saying, Lis, you can never go back home, huh? What if you’d never left home? Unless you count my three-day marriage, the annulment, and that drunken binge in Mexico. And, not necessarily in that order.

Let’s not go there, Gin.

Never again. Unless it’s to go shopping, there are good sales there.

Lisa sighed and peered around her friend to take a look at the cute customer.

Can you see a ring?

Not from this distance. Did you see one? Crud, he went around the corner.

Then, Gina cringed.

What’s wrong? Oh, he was married, huh? Lisa was suddenly very disappointed.

No, that guy just went into Pettigrew’s department. Poor guy. He’s going to need some help. Go for it, Lis.

What? Oh, I can’t. Pettigrew the Shrew is a stickler for employees working only in their assigned departments.

So, you’ll still be in your department. Say you’re checking out the display in men’s wear. She won’t know the difference. And, if she says anything, dress the ladies wear mannequins in what she’s wearing today. That’ll get her goat. Besides, you can mention that incident in high school with Coach Newberry and the hoard of lunch ladies.

Lisa blanched and tried not to think about that particular scene and went to help the poor soul. When she rounded the corner, she found him wandering around the women’s lingerie department, looking desperately out of place. He had a flimsy negligee clinging to the back of his coat. She noticed that Pettigrew was making a beeline for him. She decided that this would be a good time to intervene.

Hi there, can I help you? Lisa asked.

Lisa sneakily peeled the statically clinging garment from the man’s coat and quickly hid it behind her. The man turned and tried to remove his baseball cap in a gentlemanly fashion.

However, the hat got stuck on a display dummy’s manicured hand. The display dummy went careening to the floor, taking a table full of women’s underwear and a side wing of panty hose with it. Fearing for the woman’s safety, the man bolted and knocked her out of harm’s way, but not before snagging a sneaker on a display table and falling directly on top of the sales lady.

They both landed with a resounding, oof!

Lisa felt the impact of the man’s body on top of her own. It wasn’t a painful impact; it was a more suddenly intimate heavy pressure. Whatever it was, Lisa felt very warm. Her thoughts went fuzzy. Her toes began to curl. The man’s hard chest was pressing into her stomach and his nose was right between her...

Bust. This whole morning has been a bust. Lisa thought.

But then, Lisa decided that this wasn’t such a bad morning after all. She’d actually run into a cute guy. The cute guy had fallen for her. Well, in this case, he’d fallen on her. That in itself wasn’t so bad except for the fact that her right leg was suddenly going numb. She shifted her legs, and the man lying directly on top of her did the same. From her vantage point beneath his body, she felt him move his weight as if he were trying to move without causing her any discomfort. After a moment’s struggle, she felt the man scoot forward in an attempt to free himself. She felt her shirt inching up. She reacted by pulling on the only thing she could feel with her numb fingers.

She heard a muffled voice. Ow.

Sir, what are you doing?

Muff hairm ist tuck in dur buddon.

You’re what is where?

She pushed a mane of tousled brown curls out of her eyes and mouth and felt a warm breath caressing her neck. She lay there for a moment, savoring the contact. Her man-sized blanket smelled of soap. A lovely clean soap, while his hair smelled of an herbal, no, make that Jojoba shampoo with a hint of some kind of strawberry extract. Speaking of extract...

Lisa began trying to extract herself from under the man’s body.

She then considered that if she could lay there a few minutes longer, this wouldn’t be a horrible way to spend the day. That is until she saw a group of clerks and customers gathering to watch the human train wreck that was her and the guy with the ugly coat.

Lisa felt the pressure on her body lighten and was surprised to find the face under the tangle of curls redden to a dark maroon. As they lay in a jumble of legs and other parts, the man had managed to prop himself up and off her using his arms. It was then that Lisa noticed how blue the man’s eyes were. What a lovely color. Oh, and the long, long lashes that went on forever... And then, Lisa wondered if she should make a move to say something until the gorgeous man spoke first. Wait, was that his hand on her bosom again?

Uh. Sorry, my hair was stuck in the button of your shirt.

0h.

Hello.

I’m sorry.

That’s quite alright.

Lisa felt slightly bereft when the warmth of his body left hers. He eased himself back onto his feet in one graceful, albeit wobbly fluid movement. She, however, lay on the floor looking up at him. Then he extended his hand towards her and gently pulled her to her feet. Regaining her composure, Lisa straightened her slacks and apron, adjusting her nametag back to its proper position just as the crowd began to depart.

She noticed that during the fray, his glasses went M.I.A. So, that’s why she’d seen how blue his eyes were.

She then noticed him squinting at her.

I lost my glasses.

Lisa found them under a mound of women’s underwear. She tried to clean the lenses with her apron, noticing that an earpiece was falling off.

Oh, I’m sorry, I think they’re broken.

Oh, that’s okay; the pin falls out all the time. You wouldn’t happen to have a safety pin on you, would you?

I’m not sure. Lisa ran her fingers through the pocket of her apron.

Well, what do you know? Here’s one, she said, handing it to him.

He finished pinning the earpiece back to the frame and put the glasses back on. Lisa was a little disappointed; she couldn’t see his eyes as clearly now.

Better?

Much, thanks!

Are you lost?

He scratched his head and looked a little sheepish.

Yes, I think so.

Were you looking for something in particular?

Yes.

He looked down and shuffled his feet, looking at his scuffed tennis shoes.

"Something for you? Lisa inquired, secretly hoping that he wasn’t looking for a gift for a special someone besides her.

He was just about to answer when Pettigrew pounced.

"Miss Newman, aren’t you supposed to be displaying something? She asked, looking at the carnage the pair had created.

Pettigrew smirked and dialed housekeeping, all the while keeping her eyes trained on the pair.

Lisa noted Melissa’s smug look and longed to wipe it off her perky little face.

As a matter of fact, I was just about to help the gentleman find something.

That is my job, Miss Newman.

Melissa sneered at Lisa and made a quick gesture to return to the display window while she took over the chore of helping the handsome man. Lisa felt like making one of Gina’s quick finger gestures toward Pettigrew. But instead, she imagined strangling her with a pair of Malon’s famous panty hose. Still, she figured if she even lay one finger on the wicked wench, Lisa would get fired from the only decent job she’d had since her job as