Once Upon a Time in New Orleans...: A Collection of Short Gumbo Westerns

By Phillip Mottaz

August 2005. Hurricane Katrina has rampaged New Orleans, and the US Government has turned its back on the poorer parts of the great city, making it the perfect setting for a Neo Western. 

This collection finds mercenaries traversing the devastated Lower Ninth Ward, make-shift toll booths, guns for hire, sunken neighborhood

• Language: English
• Publisher: Phillip Mottaz
• Release date: May 1, 2022
• ISBN: 9781737238447

Phillip Mottaz

Phillip Mottaz wrote his first novel when he was only 39. After growing up in Illinois' smallest city, he studied improv and sketch comedy in Chicago. Since moving to Los Angeles, he has written every kind of script imaginable, produced multiple podcasts and - to date - has developed no psychic abilities.

Book preview

Once Upon a Time in New Orleans…

ONCE UPON A TIME IN NEW ORLEANS…

~A COLLECTION OF SHORT GUMBO WESTERNS~

PHILLIP MOTTAZ

NOT AS BAD BOOKS

COPYRIGHT

Copyright © 2022 by Phillip Mottaz

All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

MORE FROM THIS AUTHOR

Phillip Mottaz is the author of the Psychic Barber Mysteries, a series of mystery novels currently in production. There are even a couple short side stories, with more adventures on the way

Psychic Barber Mysteries

The Murderous Haircut of the Mayor of Bel Air

Pearls Before Fine (short story)

The Sequins of Events (short story)

The Homicidal Hairstyles of a Viral Video Vixen (2022)

The Killer Cuts of the Gutter Punk Band

The Receding Hairline of the Happiest Place On [TITLE PENDING TO AVOID LAWYERS]

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Spaghetti Westerns, except with more Hurricane Katrina

I’ve been writing for a long while, and something I often hear is that you should write something you wished existed. Write a story you’d love to read or see or know existed.

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One day in about 2012, while sitting at my kitchen table, trying to write while For A Few Dollars More was playing for the zillionth time on my TV, I wished there were more Spaghetti Westerns.

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I loved those weird Italian versions of American pseudo history, where reality got warped for maximum operatic impact, where heroes were barely that, and where society’s issues took a thorough working over from the perspective of a complete outsider.

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Then, as with most strange and almost-tasteless ideas, it hit me that the period just after Hurricane Katrina went through New Orleans would make a great setting for a modern-ish Western.

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Given the fact that I’m not an Italian filmmaker in the 60’s or 70’s, and that making movies wasn’t going to work out (not right now anyway), I turned to straight fiction — the cheapest way to get pulpy.

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These are just four short stories. Some very short. Like the films I was trying to emulate, they might interconnect in some ways, but not precisely or linearly. I was aiming for moods, set pieces and strange gallows humor. I tried my best to write what I wanted to see.

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I hope you see it, too.

CONTENTS

Once Upon a Time in New Orleans…

THE TOLL BOOTH AT THE CLAIBORNE AVENUE BRIDGE

THE HALF-SUNK HOME

ADRIFT

THE MARDI GRAS GRAVEYARD

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There’s still work to do.

About the Author

A TINY REQUEST…

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While I try to be a co-conspirator in the fight for equity and justice, I recognize that I make mistakes due to my personal biases. Please feel free to reach out and hold me accountable, and I promise to do better in the future.

ONCE UPON A TIME IN NEW ORLEANS…

THE TOLL BOOTH AT THE CLAIBORNE AVENUE BRIDGE

August 31, 2005. 1:50 PM

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Val hadn’t been through New Orleans in years, let alone immediately after a hurricane. Katrina had taken its toll on the city. Local and national resources were stretched as far as they could to accommodate the tired, hungry and poor residents who stuck out the storm. For reasons she didn’t question, Val’s delivery had been designed to take advantage of this moment. New Orleans had essentially become a Wild West town, and that’s how Val’s client wanted it. She was to deliver a package she knew nothing about to someone she’d never met. The level of secrecy around Val’s instructions forced her take the current route, through the Lower Ninth, to avoid unwanted attention on her way to the nice neighborhood.

Since becoming a mercenary, Val regularly felt unsafe. She’d felt unsafe most of her life. Black woman in the United States? Just part of the job description. The pistol on her hip was a leftover from a past life. It both helped abate and sustained these lingering feelings. It had a power to stave off – while simultaneously attracting – danger.

The package was the size of a shoebox, wrapped in newspaper, tied with cord, and sat in the passenger seat of Val’s station wagon. It bumped a bit as she rolled through the streets, the pavement covered with trees and garbage from the destroyed neighborhood. Far as she knew, the Lower Ninth district had