WoundsHealScarsFade

By C. Bernard

Wounds Heal Scars Fade- is an astounding E-Book written by C. Bernard. Bernard allows you to take a very personal journey with him as he relives key moments of his past. The term “You Live and You Learn”, quickly became his cliché on how he approached his day-to-day life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: C. Bernard
• Release date: Mar 20, 2022
• ISBN: 9781667836393

Book preview

PREACHER or PIMP

There was this older kid in the neighborhood who tried to bully me. When my sister and I would walk to the park, he’d say things like, Aye, Stay out of my park, but that never stopped us from going.

I don’t know when or how, but eventually, we ended up being friends. He lived right around the corner from where I stayed, and I would go over there to play, and sometimes our mothers would let me spend the night over his house.

Porno books opened my eyes to a new world. I could never get the image of a woman’s naked body out of my mind, and sometimes that was all I would think about, having a girlfriend to have sex with her. I didn’t know what sex was, but it looked fun. My mom’s friend had these dirty magazines and videos in his back room, and I would sneak in there to look at them.

My mom’s friend would always say I’d either be a preacher or a pimp when I grew up. I knew what a preacher was because my grandfather would preach at his church on Wilmington Avenue, but a pimp, What was that? I never even heard of that word until my mom’s friend say it. I wondered what I was doing that made him feel like those were the only two choices of how I would turn out, and was this being a pimp a bad thing to be?

My friend who lived around the corner from me had this older sister in middle school that must’ve liked me because she would come into the living room when her brother wasn’t around and start kissing me and putting her tongue in my ear. I thought the ear part was weird, but it felt good to me.

When I spent the night, she would have her friend over, and they would make these tents out of bed sheets in his bedroom, and at night he would be on his bed with his sister’s friend, and I would be on the floor with his sister. I don’t think he liked the idea of me messing with his sister, but her home girl kept him busy. I remember he would give this look like he was mad at me, but Shit, I wasn’t the one who started it; she was always on me.

One night she let me put it in, and it felt so nasty, it was all wet, and I never felt anything like that before. I didn’t know what I was doing; I just did what I saw in the dirty magazines and videos.

It was some kid’s birthday, and we had a little party in my friends’ garage; it was like five boys and five girls, and the boys were all younger than the girls in middle school. We all had a girl each; what was supposed to be innocent fun ended up being a big ass orgy; we were switching girls and everything. Even though my little balls were empty and I didn’t cum, I was only nine years when I first put my thing in a girl.

My family and I moved around a lot; I went to three different schools in L.A. Kelly Elementary, Lincoln, and Ronald E. McNair (formerly known as El Segundo Elementary.) So, I was always the new kid in school and got picked on by bullies. I’d tell the teachers, but they wouldn’t do anything. One day, this kid pushed me, and I turned around and punched him right in the fucking face. I got in trouble, but he didn’t pick on me anymore after that.

When my family moved to another part of Compton, I went to Lincoln Elementary, and once again, some kid started bullying me, so I did the same thing as I did in the other school and punched him in his fucking face.

I got in trouble at school, but she didn’t whop me. My mom was happy that I was defending myself against bullies because she wasn’t always going to be there to help me fight my battles, and living in Compton, you can’t be weak cause you’ll be eaten alive.

One day in class, I wrote this girl a dirty letter saying how I wanted to stick my thing in her and make a baby, and I drew a picture of two stick people with one on top of the other.

I don’t know how my teacher got that letter, but she did and sent me to the principal’s office. The principal sat me down and asked me who wrote the letter, and I said, I don’t know, I didn’t write it. So, they ended up calling my mom, and I was scared as shit. I didn’t know what she was going to do to me, she came up there, and the principal showed her the letter. She had this crazy-ass look on her face like when we got home; I was dead meat. I knew I was in for it.

My mom kept asking me if I wrote the letter, and I kept denying it even though they compared the handwriting in the letter with mine. They knew I wrote it, but I didn’t own up to the shit. I got suspended from school, and when we got home, my mom tore my ass up, and I still didn’t admit to writing that letter.

I didn’t realize then but looking at those dirty magazines and videos opened my eyes to a new world like the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden that GOD told Adam and Eve not to eat.

I didn’t look at girls innocently anymore; I wanted to kiss them, touch on them and have sex with them. My innocence was disappearing rapidly, and I liked the older girls because their bodies were more developed than the girls my age, like the women I saw in those dirty magazines and videos. I would discover later on in life how my porn addiction would affect my relationships. You live, and you learn.

ODE 2 THE O

My mom, sister, and I would go to Oceanside to my grandma’s house on the weekends. I loved it out there because the beach wasn’t too far from her house. All the grandkids would walk to the beach or get dropped off there with boogie boards and all.

We’d walk down the pier and look at the names craved in the wooden rails, or we would go to the harbor and go to the candy store. My favorite candy was rock candy. It looked like a rock, but it was candy, and you would suck on it like a jaw breaker.

We would also stop in the fish market and look at all the different kinds of fish; then, we’d go to the water and crash against waves, ride our boogie boards and do the things kids love to do at the beach. I loved looking at the different females in their bikinis and collecting sea shells and shit like that.

My cousins and I would lay in the water and let the current pull us out further into the water. We’d start on one end of the beach and end up on the other. If you weren’t careful, you could get lost quickly. It was dangerous to play by the jetty cause you could die, but we did it anyway.

There are a few ways you could get to the beach from my grandma’s house, and you could get a ride or catch the 316 bus. We walked down and up this big ass hill passing Capistrano Park most of the time, then made a left on San Luis Rey Dr. and walked to this underpass under the freeway. It was a little dark down there and kind of scary. You could see all types of graffiti, and sometimes you might even see a bum down there sleeping. It wasn’t a place you would want to go by yourself, especially at