What If: An Alternative Version to Secret Love (4ever Series Book 3)

By Isabella White

In the third novel of the What if Series, called What if, follows Holly and Jamie eighteen months later since the split up from the heartthrob Hooligan, Jake Peters.

Set off to spend a few days at the Alta resort with Rod and her friends, Holly was sure that she would be free from the Peters. Boy is she wrong.

Her getaway turned into her nightmare when Amelia confronted her about the baby and why she left.

The truth always have a funny way of revealing itself.

IF ONLY.....

• Language: English
• Publisher: Fire Quill Publishing
• Release date: Feb 6, 2022
• ISBN: 9781947649507

Book preview

One

HOLLY

It had been two years, or just over two years to be precise, that Holly’s life had been in an uproar. Just over two years since the man of her dreams, Jake Peters, told her those nine ugly words that tore apart her entire fairytale. More than two years that she existed with this gape in her heart of saying goodbye to her one daughter. More than two years that she took each day as it came, trying to support the remaining child she had a responsibility to, trying to give her the life that she should have had.

She would peek on Facebook now and then.

Jake’s account was private, so was Bernie’s. She knew if she was to send Bernie a friend request from the fake account she would just ignore it, or worse, try to find out who it really belonged to and discover that Holly had kept the baby.

Bernie would be livid with Jake and his choice, that much Holly knew, but the truth would come out that she kept the baby and she knew the Peters would do anything in their power to get Jamie back. She recognized that Jamie had that power. She was already attracting so many single men that wanted to be a father figure to her, but Holly could not see herself with any one of them.

She sucked at the dating game and she knew why. She had finally acknowledged it a year after Jamie’s birth.

She would never find another man because deep down inside she still loved Jake Peters.

Her mother always told her that time would heal her wounds, but Holly was not so sure.

The only important thing that came out of her nightmare, was the fact that Holly had her mother back.

Jane was her rock in so many ways. She was always there for Holly to give her the help she needed when things got to be a bit much. Especially a few months back when Jake’s face had been plastered on all the medical journals and magazines.

He was seriously making a name for himself working under Dr. Huyo.

Holly secretly wish he could just stay away, but from the one article that Rod read aloud to her, she knew that he was going to return. During the interview he had spoken about finishing his last year of residency at P&E.

She hated that so much, not that there was any escape from him really.

His daughter was the blueprint of her father.

She had soft black curls at the nape of her neck, with vibrant blue eyes and sun kissed skin.

She looked nothing like Holly to be honest, and some implied that she abducted her when she was a baby.

But one thing Bernie had gotten right, was that she would have swept all baby competitions.

She was so damn beautiful.

Rod and Tracey kept nagging her to enter her into just one competition, but Holly knew it would be the biggest mistake of her life.

One of the Peters would see, recognize her name, and surname and know that Holly kept her.

She had to fill in more shifts at the hotel. The functions they held helped her with extra money to make ends meet. Rod and Tracey were all going to go on a ski trip before Christmas and it was usually their busiest time filled with functions. She could not afford the trip. Since her father claimed to have figured out her reason for wanting to become a doctor. He closed his wallet and refused to pay a cent further to her studies.

She was not that shallow, and Jake, to be honest, had nothing to do with the reason she wanted to become a doctor.

She did not want women to suffer the way she had with pre-eclampsia that could lead to the loss of a child.

Then Gus Peters, Jake’s dad, brought out the drug that had similar abilities to the shake, but it was something that had to be given through an IV and monitored.

All Holly’s hopes evaporated as to the need for her in that area of study. During her depression over loosing this critical path she found another point of interest; hearts.

It was ironic how she and Mara, Jake’s mom, found love in the same organ.

She still could not get that day out of her head, even though she did not want to think about it.

She had not believed that Jake would stoop so low. Leave her like that. If she had not talked to him that day, she still would not believe it.

But it was what it was, just like he said.

Her phone suddenly rang in the living room, pulling her from deep in her own thoughts.

She was putting Jamie to sleep, and she got up just as her mother, Jane, answered the non-stop ringing.

She opened Jamie’s door as she overheard Jane tell Rodney, her new best friend, to hold for Holly.

He was everything she wanted in a friend, a brother, a male figure for Jamie, but alas all perfect men were gay.

Hey, she sounded slightly groggy when she got to the phone, a result of lying down way too long next to her princess on the bed.

Hi, so have you spoken to your mother about the trip?

Rod? She felt bad just for thinking about this fucking trip.

Holly, you need a break, and I don’t mean from Jamie. I mean from school, work, everything that you try to accomplish and just wind down.

I’m a mom, I don’t have that privilege.

Yes, you do. C’mon, your mom will understand. She has been bugging me for a long time to take you on one of our trips. She wants you to take a break too.

And what about Jamie?

Jane was giving her the raised eyebrow. She shook her head at her mother, not to worry about this conversation. She was not going, the decision was made as far as she was concerned.

She is off your boob. You are not her only source of sustenance Holly and she is already two.

It’s close to Christmas, Rod.

We will be back before Christmas. I promise, you won’t miss it.

Go, her mother mouthed.

She rolled her eyes.

Please, come with us. You will love it.

Holly chuckled. I’m going to break my legs or something. I’ve never skied before, Rod.

I’ll teach you. Everyone is going to be there.

C’mon Holly, Tracey’s voice yelled in the background.

She was not a pre-med student like Rod and herself. Rather, Tracey worked with them at the hotel.

Her mother egged her on again to go.

You sure? She asked Jane.

Yes, go. You need this few days, Holly. Jamie will be fine.

She sighed. She felt so guilty.

Fine, she finally agreed, and she could hear background cheers coming from the receiver’s end.

You won’t regret it.

I hope for your sake that is true.

Utah is beautiful this time of year. You will love it.

Fine, whatever. She smiled.

You could sound more excited. I won’t let you get hurt, Holly. Speak to you later.

She chuckled. Okay, bye.

She dropped the call and sighed.

Oh, I always wanted to go to Utah. Do you know where you guys are going? Her mother looked more excited by the prospect of this trip, then she felt.

They were speaking about some place called Alta or something.

Her mother quickly went on the internet and googled Alta, Utah.

Oh Holly, you are going to have so much fun.

A picture of a snowy mountain and beautiful treetops displayed across the computer screen.

It looked fancy, way too expensive for her, but Rodney’s parents had money. This trip was something they had gifted him and friends every year since he was seventeen. She did not want to know how much this trip cost them.

Jane and her continued to look through the website, and gaze at the pictures of beautiful scenery, she finally started to become excited about her trip.

She did need it.

A well-deserved break as Jane had called it, just to relieve the stress of paying for her tuition by working, while studying and trying to raise her princess.

The day of the trip finally arrived.

They were going to be away for four days. The Ballucio’s even paid for flights and Holly could not believe how easy Rod had it. No wonder he spoiled Jamie whenever he thought she wasn’t paying attention. But she had a profound respect for Rod’s mom and dad. They taught him at an early stage the value of money, and he had to work at the hotel during weekends whenever functions were held to earn his own money for daily expenses.

She loved that about them.

He was not a spoiled brat like some other men who just got everything they wanted.

The Peters were loaded too. Owned a freak’n hospital and several holiday spots.

She was glad that Jake was in China. She felt free to venture beyond her general area a bit, but that didn’t mean that she could not bump into any of the other Peters.

Her biggest fear was to bump into Mara.

A few months back she was lucky that she jumped the gun on the doctor’s conference they held and was fortunate that everyone bought her stupid excuse of Jamie coming down with something. Even her mother had gotten out of being Frank’s plus one for that night. Jane was afraid what she might do if she ran into the Peters.

Holly was lucky, as it turned out Jake and Dr. Huyo were present that night too.

Rod could not stop talking about it.

He did not end up serving them, but he did try to introduce himself to Jake, without success.

He did not tell her how he failed, but Holly was glad it had turned out that way. She knew if he had been in Jake’s presence for ten minutes, he would see Jamie in Jake and then the truth would have come out.

Jamie was so different from Holly. Everything she did made Holly remember who Jake was. She sees him in everything her little princess does.

It was a constant reminder of Jake to be honest and she knew she would never really escape him.

Earth to Holly, Rod said next to her.

Oh sorry, just thinking, she said as they were in the plane on their way to Utah.

You are not a bad mom, Holly, Rod said which made her laugh.

That obvious? She asked.

A little. He showed with his fingers, You need this, and you are going to love it.

She sighed but smiled at him. She closed her eyes and rested her head against the back of her chair.

This was so uncomfortable.

And then Rod, the true gentlemen he always is, pulled her head toward his shoulder and grabbed her hand.

It felt nice to be touched, even if it was just holding hands.

She felt safe with Rod and she hated to think what would happen the day he would find out that the man he was looking up to, the guy he wanted to be like one day, was Jamie’s father?

Two

JAKE

He was finally home.

The year in China was more than enough for him. He loved the food and learning from Sam Huyo, the best neurosurgeon in the world, but there is always something about home.

It was where Holly was, somewhere in the fifty states in America. That is why the USA would always be his home.

Sam wanted him to do another year in China. Jake had said he would think about it and let him know in the next few weeks.

He knew he should jump at the chance, but he had enough of Shanghai for the moment.

To think if things had gone as planned, he would have only joined him next year. His mother kept pushing and pushing for some reason, and he could not handle it and he left.

Just imagine what the past year would have been like if he had spent it on US soil.

He had come home for a break last summer during the 4th of July and could not believe that his mother wanted to push another woman on him.

It was still too soon for him.

He would never love another woman the way he loved Holly.

It was still hard to think about her and what she did. If only she waited for him. They could have talked about it, could have decided together.

If his Dad’s shake had failed and it did not work for her at the end, he would have considered abortion too. As much as Amelia would have hated it, he was not going to lose Holly like that.

He loved her too much to see her suffer for his mistakes.

He should have done this pregnancy different. Not lied to her and given her the fertility pills instead of what she asked for.

But he wanted her in his life. He knew it was stupid now and had not thought that it would backfire the way it had.

But Shanghai was good for him.

It put some things straight and hopefully he could find a way to move on, eventually.

Amelia yelled the loudest when Jake exited the gate.

She ran toward him and jumped into his arms.

For a sister, she was really the