Facing My Own Music

By Melanie P. Golding

Singer-songwriter & Counsellor Mel Golding, has written her music journey memoirs through an analytical lens. Mel offers insights into her story as a young artist and how she became a qualified counsellor later in life. Her life as an adolescent musician required much resilience and self-belief to continue through adversities. She went through rejection, judgments, and identity issues that impacted her development. She suffered abuse and family difficulties whilst pursuing her dream to become a famous singer. Mel's pilgrimage encountered several big industry names along the way, mentioned in her story and their role in her life. She highlights the element of ego, authenticity, conformity, and love and approval, amongst other topics that have rarely been highlighted with musicians. She speaks of her relationship with producer Mike Myers and her meetings in the US with Mike Appel and Phil Ramone. Her story relays the element of competition as she conveys the impacts of being compared to Celine Dion's market and the deal that never materialised. Through self-reflection, the narrative of her story embodies a broad analysis of the self, alongside some cognitive aspects underpinning the pilgrim of what it entails to be an artist.

Mel is now researching and creating podcasts for her show Facing Mel's Music, here she interviews musicians from across the globe from all genres and all walks of life. Mel shines a light on the holistic experiences of a musician and the importance of safeguarding mental health.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Melanie P. Golding
• Release date: Feb 4, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201206642

Melanie P. Golding

Mel's is a singer-songwriter & counsellor following her research on the emotional and psychological wellbeing of musicians. Mel started her singing career at the age of twelve in Tenerife, the Canary Islands and dedicated her youthful years to the music industry.  Mel understands the trials and tribulations of the industry and through challenging times as an adolescent growing up with personal challenges within the music industry. Her work includes influential producers such as multi-award winner record producer Mike Myers, Brinsley Forde, George De Angelis and Tony Delaney. Mel's passion developed through her counselling course years later, where she believed she could build on her research for healing. Mel sees her life experiences as a spiritual journey helpful to musicians and offers counselling and coaching to artists worldwide. Her show Facing Mel's Music is the epitome of discovering a musician's actual life. Mel feels image and facade often take over from music, and her show reveals the person behind the performer.

Book preview

Table of Contents

Introduction

A Note from the Author

Part 1: In The Beginning

1. A Family in Arts

2. True Blue

3. The Beginning of Conformity

Mastering Conformities

4. Singing for Love and Approval

5. Adolescent Identity

6. Producers & Managers

7. Offstage Adversities

8. Musical Etiquette

Part 2: On Becoming an Artist

9. Mike Myers

10. Three Succeeding Projects

(1) The Jackson Project

(2) The 'LaFemme' Project

(3) The Naked Project

11. Spiritual Reflections

Spiritual Transitions

My Spiritual Growth

A Spiritual Shift in Thought

Self-connectedness & Self-belief

12. Rime

13. M.E.L

Part 3: On Becoming a Counsellor

14. Rock Chick to Rock Solid

15. Marriage & Divorce

16. The Nova Luna Project

17. A Musician’s Mental Health

18. Taking Back my Life

Spiritual Resilience

Acknowledgments

Ryan Blacker

Kamiar 'Reza' Mosavian

Louise L. Hay

Wayne W. Dyer

Carl Rogers

Conclusion

Additional Views

About the Author

The Photo Gallery

Photo by Maggie Lennard

Me and Mum

Growing Up

Billie Ashley

Mum and Sister Pics

Tyler Miles

Jackson

Rime

M.E.L.

Nova Luna

My Nan

Nanny Golding & Grandad Denis

Melanie Padron Golding

Melanie Padron Golding

Copyright 2022

19. Musical Etiquette

Facing My Own Music

The Spiritual Journey of a Singer

Melanie P. Golding

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Meltopia Ltd

Copyright © 2022 Melanie Padron Golding

Meltopia Ltd., Unit 82A, James Carter Road, Mildenhall, Bury St.

Edmunds, Suffolk, IP28 7DE · Phone: [phone]

· www.meltopia.co · www.facingmelsmusic.com

· Email: [e-mail]

All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by

any mechanical, photographic, or electronic means, or in the form of a

phonographic recording; including information storage and retrieval systems,

without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may

quote brief passages in a review.

The events and

conversations in this book have been set down to the best of the author's

ability, although some names and details have been changed to protect the

privacy of individuals.

Cover design by Meltopia

Cover design contribution: Ramona Kaulitzki/Shutterstock.com

Contents

Introduction

A Note from the Author

Part 1: In The Beginning

1. A Family in Arts

Mixed Heritage 

The British Side

My Nan

My Mum

The Spanish Side

My Father

My Parents

Family Conclusion

My Family - The Beginning of Me

A poem for you: 

2. True Blue

A Fading Pigmentation 

Phase 1 - The Early Days

Phase 2 - The Effects During Adolescence

The E-morph Cycle

Phase 3 - The Results

Sibling Roles

Stepping In

My Theories 

Other Theories

Identity Development in Adolescence

Absent Sibling in Adolescence

Siblings Reunited

Projections

My Sense of Rivalry 

To Parents and Caregivers of Talent

A message for the young reader

3. The Beginning of Conformity

Searching for Identity 

Before Conformity

Inspirations

Influences

The Cello Experience

The Musical-self

Conclusion

Mastering Conformities

Fitting In 

A Note for Conformities 

4. Singing for Love and Approval

The Power of the Voice 

The New Discovery

Moving Abroad

Love and Approval Dependency

Parental Love & Approval

My View as a Counsellor

A Note for Love & Approval

Important

Self-

Deep Rooted

5. Adolescent Identity

From School to Stardom 

Graham Gold - In the Beginning

The Value of My Voice

School Life

Moving to Music

Adolescent Identity

Physical Identity

Intellectual Identity

Emotional Identity

Adolescent Personality

6. Producers & Managers

The Business Begins 

Billie Ashley

Copyright it – Intellectual Property

Money and Connections

To conclude

7. Offstage Adversities

The Hidden Truths 

The Dark Side

The perpetrator is silently saying:

Music Family

8. Musical Etiquette

A Few Tips 

Part 2: On Becoming an Artist

9. Mike Myers

Beyond a Mentor 

1992

Utopia Village – Primrose Hill

New York and The U S A

1997

1998-1999

Moving On

The Return of Mike Myers

10. Three Succeeding Projects

From Belief to Hope 

(1) The Jackson Project

An Emotional Detour 

Jackson Album:

(2) The 'LaFemme' Project

Two Pianists and a Vocalist 

Chorus lyrics:

Emotions Rule

(3) The Naked Project

The Importance of Great Company 

Occupational Hazards

11. Spiritual Reflections

The Turning Point 

My Mental Health - 2007-2008

Conel College

Spiritual Transitions

My Spiritual Growth

A Spiritual Shift in Thought

Self-connectedness & Self-belief

12. Rime

Rockin' My World 

Rime

Diary Excerpts

Something Better – The Debut Album

The Reality

13. M.E.L

Going Solo 

Songs and Meaning

Therapy Implemented in My Music

Game Over

Part 3: On Becoming a Counsellor

14. Rock Chick to Rock Solid

A Professional Transition 

Course in Counselling

Teens and Toddlers – My First Placement

Place2Be - School Counsellor

15. Marriage & Divorce

Healing in the Aftermath 

Leading In

The Relationship

Important

Watch for the signs

Australia via the UK

Australia Landing

Back to work

The Great Escape 

The Rich Lady

The Secret House and The Secret Car

Stalking and Harassment

The Bridge to Present Times

Abuse or Mental Health?

Self-help

The Legal System

Post-divorce

Conclusion

Love Should Not Hurt

16. The Nova Luna Project

The Light in my Dark 

Meeting Bogi - 2010

Chorus

Verse 1

Lyrical example:

Verse 1

The Songs

Naked as the Moon

Verse 1

Verse bridge

Chorus

Contemporary-classical

17. A Musician’s Mental Health

Success Starts Within 

The Risk Factors

Relying on Success

Adolescent Resilience

The Emergence of this Book

The New Music Industry

The Art of Groundedness

Spiritual Health

Politics

Conclusions

18. Taking Back my Life

Presently 

The Key to Happiness

Multiple Identities

Working with Musicians

Present Life Challenges 

The Future

A World of Emotions

Forgiveness

Isolation

Meltopia

My Books

Current Research

Spiritual Resilience

Acknowledgments

Ryan Blacker

Kamiar 'Reza' Mosavian 

Louise L. Hay

Wayne W. Dyer

Carl Rogers

Conclusion

Additional Views 

About the Author

The Photo Gallery

Introducing The Angels - Suzy and Percy 

Photo by Maggie Lennard

Me and Mum

Growing Up

Billie Ashley

Mum and Sister Pics

Tyler Miles

Jackson

Rime

M.E.L.

Nova Luna

My Nan

Nanny Golding & Grandad Denis

A Match Made in Heaven 

Melanie Padron Golding

BA Hons 

Melanie Padron Golding

MMus 

Copyright 2022

19. Musical Etiquette

A Few Tips 

Introduction

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I

t is my pleasure to finally release this book which has been with me for the past twelve years. Life has certainly been hectic, but I finally found the moment to finish this part of my life. As time moves on, the memories are becoming more and more distant, so it was time to put everything down on paper before losing the nuts and bolts to the story of my life in music. Here I share events and incidents on my journey in music, some happy, some funny and some fused with tragedy. I felt it necessary to illustrate the adversities faced as a musician whilst in the making and that despite the difficulties, you can turn your life around. This book talks about my music endeavours from a platform of multiple adversities. Through self-reflection, the narrative of my story embodies a broad analysis of the self, alongside some cognitive aspects underpinning the pilgrim of what it entails to be an artist. Changing thoughts and seeing things in multiple realities, I shine the light on my own journey in music from the very beginning to where I am today. Life has presented many battles and dark hidden secrets. The traumas and tragedies all make a lurking undertone to my career goals and aspirations. Falling in and out of love along the way, losing family, and gaining solitude add to the storyline, making it an experience unique to me and hopefully a valid contribution to you.

As I fought my way through life, I slowly entered into a world of mental health issues, something unfamiliar to me at the time, a terrain of the unknown with absolutely no prior knowledge. My resilience pulled me through and made me the person I am today. My understanding of mental health became a passion that led to a counselling profession. I continue on that path as I follow my work and research within the realms of mental health, emotional and spiritual wellbeing neatly bunched together as a bouquet of resilience. Leading to my life's purpose today, I hope this book can inspire, and highlight the element of surviving the industry, particularly young people who are so vulnerable and in need of guidance.

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ON THE MORNING OF 4TH March 2008, it dawned on me that I should actually write a book and who knows, maybe that would lead somewhere. It may ironically be the key to a successful outcome. Going through a pessimistic phase, I initially called it I'll believe it when I see it. This book began its journey by writing about the musical part of my life story. It has been the most significant part of my life yet the most disappointing in its results. It baffled me as to why I was still trying to launch my career as a singer after some twenty-odd years of suffering the ordeal of the industry. I experienced many so-called knockdowns and rejections from the music industry and felt the sorrow of never being the singer that Artist and Repertoire (A&R) were seeking to sign. I believe my music was presented at the wrong time hence the saying, timing is everything. Now that it's 2022, I am still baffled as to what keeps me going in this 'pain meets pleasure' industry and why. Either I'm solid and determined with a deep sense of self-belief or simply hopeful with dreaming at the foundation.

My love for music and the ability to convey feelings through singing got me through some of the most challenging times. I had built an inner resilience and found confidence through my skills that made 'inner pillars of strength' that held me together for the rest of my life. I write from the heart about my journey in music, which began in Tenerife of the Canary Islands. A voyage of discovery took me to London, Ireland, Germany, and America from this island. Rest assured, the tour hasn't ended yet! It's a constant and evolving journey, leading to who knows where. My life has been one turbulent and emotional rollercoaster from many angles. I wanted to share my experiences with anyone wishing to enter into the world of music as it is a personal and professional pilgrimage that affects you forever. Your unique style of development will depend upon the road you take as experiences shape you.

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THIS BOOK WILL BE HANDY for the novice going into the professional world of music. My personal story conveys the difficulties of environmental and surrounding factors that directly impacted me personally and, subsequently, my life's direction. I start with addressing my childhood and adolescence, followed by my time as a mature adult with parenting responsibilities. My journey conveys the emotional and practical difficulties surrounding an artist at a time of youth and development. I openly display the psychological and emotional hurdles I endured and the ability to overcome them. To thrive in such an industry when going through trauma, abuse, relationships, or conflicts takes enormous strength and infinite resilience.

A poor start in life will take extra effort in the 'emotional, mental and spiritual' department when taking on a career with high aspirations. Essentially, you are overcoming multiple hurdles without even looking at the challenges presented in a music career. I would emphasise this book is relevant to every aspiring musician, regardless of your status. There are many emotional challenges along the way for young musicians who aspire to become the next big thing. Whether you are the parent of a talented child or the talent yourself, if you want to get into the world of showbiz, I can share some insights through my story to help inform you and certainly entertain you. I believe there's nothing more daunting than entering into a situation you have very little knowledge of, so I'd like to bridge that fear with some support to eliminate or reduce that fear factor.

There are many red flags to look out for when embarking in the music industry. Meeting industry executives can be a heavy task when it comes to choosing and believing. People who manage the business side of music, such as managers, producers, lawyers, publishers, can speak in jargon that will have you confused for weeks. There are some true professionals who will help you within the field, but be aware there are more 'talkers' than 'doers'. Once you are more informed, you will feel more equipped and prepared to enter the new realm with a little more armour.

Whether you are beginning your journey or at the top of your game, I believe there are risk factors involved in the process. It is essential to think about mental health and wellbeing when walking the road to stardom. Self-expectations and the expectations of others can take over your life. Believe me when I tell you that what not to do is just as important as what you should do. There is never any fixed road to success, but I believe perseverance and self-care are vital aspects likely to get you there safely.

For many years, the music industry overlooked the emotional protection of artists. My experiences as a young artist led me to my passion for safeguarding emotions and providing healing. I feel self-care is central to the role of an artist. There are so many facets to consider for succeeding in music, plus your definition of success may differ from someone else's. The fundamental ingredients for success need to be in place for favourable results but even then, there is never any guarantee of anything.

Today, I still write and produce my music, but I now work from a very different perspective. I am my own boss, and I make music for the pure love of it. I see my artistic expression as a part of me for the freedom to express my thoughts and feelings in writing. Recognition and closure are merriment, but more importantly, my idea of success is inner peace and happiness from within.

I am now mature!

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A Note from the Author

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Once upon a time, there was a young vibrant singer with great prospects. She embodied a youthful excitement with the idea of embarking on a voyage of glamorous show business. Compared to the likes of Whitney Houston and Celine Dion, industry executives such as Mike Myers, Phil Ramone, Muff Winwood, and Sony UK took great interest in this girl. The future looked bright, successful, and full of prosperity.

That girl was me.

Part 1: In The Beginning

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The origins

of a person begin with the roots,

The very starting

point of your journey in life

- Mel Golding

Chapter 1

A Family in Arts

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I

was born in Loughborough, Leicestershire, on December 8th, 1973. For the first two years of my life, my parents and I were a family of three living in Coventry until the new arrival of baby sister Noelia made her appearance on February 3rd, 1976.

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THE BRITISH SIDE

As I introduce my family, I begin with my mother— an English woman born in Meriden to British parents, Eileen Doreen Fisher and Denis Ernest Golding. According to Mum, she had a wonderful upbringing, the perfect family as she recalls. Her dad worked as an engineer and eventually became a works manager for a small manufacturing company, making parts for aeroplanes. Denis, born in France to British parents, was not only of high intelligence but also had a flair for the arts. Awe-inspiring in quality, his drawings and paintings were of a professional standard. Further adding to the talent, my grandfather was blessed with a wonderful singing voice. Strong in vocals and enchanting on stage, he and my nan were quite the intriguing pair. In a traditional Gene Kelly and Judy Garland old-fashioned way, these soulmates spent many good times together at the piano singing all of their favourite tunes as my nan accompanied my grandfather on the piano. Five years following the birth of my mother, auntie Penny arrived. As a young family, they were truly happy. Music and art were at the core of their lives, bringing them together in strong unity and love. My mum took after her father with his artistic tendencies, playing a big part in her career later.

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SADLY, I NEVER KNEW my grandfather Denis, as the angels took him from this earth plane way too early: ‘robbed’ as my mother says. He sadly passed away at the age of only forty-four years. This tragedy left my mother truly devastated at the tender age of seventeen. Penny, who was only twelve years old at the time, was equally affected by the tragic loss, losing the gift of a perfect role model of a father.

My nan was more than competent in the upbringing of the girls, but there is nothing like the replacement of a great father figure, an exemplary role model. My mum and aunt were left feeling vulnerable without the loving father in their lives to guide, protect and support them.

Denis was described as a wonderful father, a great man, and a loyal and devoted husband. As my mum and aunt talk about their loss, they express the memory as being one that turned their world upside down, and everything from that point in their lives changed forever. The loss of their father had significantly impacted the course of their destiny as life took another turn.

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MY NAN

Eileen Golding was a strong, powerful, and independent woman who had everybody's respect. She was, as she said, 'a no-nonsense woman' who would happily give you a piece of her tongue pie if you crossed her! As a child, she reminded me of Margaret Thatcher! A strong iron lady.

Being a widowed parent would have been challenging in multiple ways. Dealing with practicalities and bringing up two daughters alone had adverse effects on the girls. My mum was close to her father. She felt it easy to approach her father with any subject. The impacts of his absence affected the very centre of her being. Growing up and maturing without a father were my mother's core challenges experienced with a sense of vulnerability. My nan Eileen was a great provider, but her survival as a widowed woman had depended on her character traits. Becoming a strong person was her priority, and for her, being strong was linked with putting on a brave face. Nan's strong character merged with domineering traits but growing up with an authoritative figure for the young girls added to the challenge. The most prominent and positive aspect that I remember about my nan, was her great sense of humour. She was quite the performer when at the piano and holding a microphone. I can recall her up on stage at my gigs in Tenerife, kicking her legs up as high as she could as she sang New York, New York by Frank Sinatra. A solid heart of gold and a great person, she was a woman made of steel. Or was she?

As I introduce Nan, I can remember her through my eyes as a child, but I now look back through a lens as a woman. The child Melanie, knew her based on limited information and no knowledge of her past experiences, nor the building blocks of who she was. Based in Coventry, Nan was a secretary by day and local club pianist by night. Of Irish descent, she had a strict mother and father, and this tough love impacted her survival skills and motivation. We usually learn how to survive from our parents and eventually become the by-products of their experiences. My grandfather Denis was the very core of her heart and soul. According to my mother, he kept her in check and on the straight-and-narrow. She was quite the free spirit with elements of rebelliousness in her behaviours.