Faking It

By Kimber Montgomery

Elizabeth hasn't been single this long since middle school, and her co-worker (and best guy friend) Jason isn't doing much better. Yet when they were in committed relationships, it seemed like there were elligible singles everywhere. It's the same old story: no one realizes what a catch you really are... until someone else has caught you! So Liz and Jason have cooked up a scheme - they'll pretend to date each other, "splitting up" when the inevitable flood of high-quality singles suddenly materializes. Simple, foolproof, and no one gets hurt. Until, of course, it all goes wrong.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Inept Concepts
• Release date: Feb 2, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201118570

Book preview

PART 1

1

So here's what I was thinking, Elizabeth said, staring across their shared desk. Jason favored her with an exaggerated, questioning stare. His dark hair still had the tousled look it maintained until gravity inevitably reigned it in – usually just in time for lunch – and his blue eyes had that faux-alert, post-coffee gleam that suggested he was almost fully aware of his surroundings. Liz set aside the pencil she'd been nibbling as she worked and pushed her glasses back into place. There was an antiquated saying, Men don't make passes at girls who wear glasses, but no one would ever apply that tired old chestnut to Liz, not with her naturally blonde hair and classic sweetheart-next-door looks.

I'm waiting, he grinned. Lord, that grin. How many of her girlfriends had been roped in by that grin, only to blame her when things, somehow, never quite worked out? She'd stopped setting Jason up with her friends three years ago, avoided even introducing him ever since the Maya incident, and these days just accepted the fact that her best (guy) friend was also far better off being her best-kept secret.

I haven't had a date in a while...

Uh-huh. Now he was smirking.

And I couldn't help but notice that you've been free dang near every time I suggest Netflix night, or I'm in sudden need of an emergency brunch buddy...

True.

So I'm guessing things aren't so hot for you in the romance department lately either.

Guilty as charged.

So I was thinking...

Here? Now? What if Dean Allen walks in?

Har-de-har.

He waited. Having slipped his little joke in, he had nothing else to say, as he had no idea what she was building up to.

So, she said slowly, I was thinking...

You said that.

Okay, fine, she blurted out. I was thinking about psychology.

Jason leaned forward, stroking his chin. He hadn't shaved today – or yesterday, it seemed – and it suited him.

Psychology..., he repeated. Okay. I'm intrigued. He made a show of setting aside the papers he was grading. Continue.

Oh, so I have your permission.

You do.

"I didn't ask for it."

I guess I'm just a giver.

She rolled her eyes. Impossible.

So anyway, she plunged ahead, "I was thinking about all the girls who just throw themselves at you when we're hanging out together..."

I am unaware of any such phenomenon, he said, furrowing his brow. She couldn't quite tell if he was kidding or not.

"And, similarly, seems like the boys just stare when I'm out hanging with you."

Don't let your ego get away from you. I have it on pretty good authority that those boys are all gay.

Look, the point I'm trying to make is that we garner interest galore from members of the opposite sex when we're hanging out together, but lately neither one of us can score a date to save her – or his – life.

If you're trying to depress me right before lunch you're doing a terrific job.

"It's psychology. I think I'm a pretty good catch. You... have your moments..."

He raised a single eyebrow at this.

"...but when people see us together, when they think we are together, suddenly we're that much more desirable. It's like it flicks a subconscious switch somewhere: 'Here's one of the good ones!' You see what I'm getting at?"

Of course. The grass is always greener. No, wait. Sour grapes, or the opposite of that. So the opposite of sour grapes stir-fried with the grass is always greener. It's human nature, old as the hills.

I lost track of how many idioms you just massacred.

"I think the word you're looking for is mastered, not massacred."

"Or possibly idiot, not idiom." Her subsequent smile lit up their cramped little office and he couldn't help but smile back.

Cold blooded, he declared.

You know it. So do you want to hear my idea, or not?

He nodded.

Okay. I think we should date.

Whoa, he said.

"Not really date. Fake date."

Fake date? He did not look convinced.

"Hear me out. We start spending more time together, like lots more time. Change our Facebook statuses to 'In a Relationship'. Maybe you sleep over a couple times a week – on the couch. Before you know it, everyone starts quacking away, 'What does she see in him? She could do so much better!' Then when the quacking reaches a fever pitch we break up and collapse into the arms of all the suitors who,