The Book of Gouval: The Castle Part 2: The Books of Gouval, #4

By Lord Gouval

Lord Gouval unleashes his most moving, yet ruthlessly vicious novel yet. The Castle Part 2 is an exercise in pure magic from beginning to end—never missing a beat as the action unfolds prodigiously. Taking place in a thirty hour span, Mike and Isabell begin their life together amidst a seemingly unending string of epic events. Featuring the OG Castle cast and some new additions, Part 2 feels like a sword being drawn and spun rapidly on a firm index before the hilt falls casually into a waiting hand.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Gouval Inc. Press
• Release date: Jan 16, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201855963

Book preview

Like I said, it were a shock to everyone when I walked in with Isabell. I’d only told Daisy and Hailey about that call from Jan. Dee filled her lungs with a gasp—holding her cheeks and smiling at everyone like ‘I fucking told you!!’ Grammy were squinting at Uncle Doc carrying a half dead Dr. Dad in—a fat purple welt on his forehead from that shovel bash. Jackie had some fresh beef jerky waiting for us—marinated in a rarified Portuguese sauce used in their Breakfast for Giftmas Eve Dinner tradition—of which I’ll detail eventually—though not the recipe itself.. I took an oath to carry that to my grave.

Bobby asked if there were any mentions of us on the news? Doc assured Grammy Dr. Dad only had a slight concussion.. possibly some memory loss. Tanya were attempting to wrap her head around seeing Isabell again—her hand clearly sewn to mine at that. We’d all but been sharing a room at that point. Nothing serious—though we fucked so much something regular were implied.. to her.

What the fuck did you do? Grammy glared at Doc while shoving a cold beer can against the good dad’s head. Dee were hugging Isabell and I. Jan were glaring at Janice. Janice cleared her throat—sipping a tumbler of neat whisky and pretending to ignore the original owner of her earrings and current black blouse.

Well.. it’s a long story.. but I killed Mike’s mom, then we drove her body into the desert and blew up our cars before flying off. Doc shrugged. Grammy looked at me—hoping Doc were just twisted and babbling insane situations she’d never wish on me or her adopted son. I nodded while Bobby were watching our smoking cars being inspected by the FBI on live television.. fuck. Those cars had been rented by the hospital, and they wouldn’t hesitate about snitching on us.

I told you we should’ve gone with them. Daisy shook her head at Hailey. Lex were assuring Steels we were fine—so long as we never ventured across the Atlantic again. They couldn’t hunt us down in Ireland—though it were safe to assume we’d be deemed ‘terrorists’ in america for the next twenty years. Good. That’ll prevent them from badgering me about setting up shop over there.

..that’s not enough fucking information.. for one.. how?.. why? Grammy squinted at Doc while I offered Isabell a large piece of Jackie’s Portuguese Jerky. She were seemingly telepathically communicating with Tanya.. good. You two work that out.. and I’ll call the other handful of women who’ll likely be pouty. ‘Those are my earrings.’ ‘These old things? My grandmother bought them for me when I graduated high school.’ ‘My grandma bought them for me when I graduated from high school—and you wouldn’t have even done that without me!’ ‘Have you met Ref?’ Janice gestured at him sipping a glass of cold water to her left. Ref waved, then gestured at the beef jerky platter like ‘please, help yourself.’

Half the reason I went there were because Jan contacted me about Isabell. Mellissa happened to live next door to them. Once Doc heard this, he walked over, shot her and her roommate, then we blew up their house while driving Mellissa’s corpse into the Mojave Desert. To cause a distraction, they put a bomb under a cop car at the UCLA hospital. We started digging a hole in the desert, though it just seemed more sensible to incinerate the vehicles and fly off—Jan and Isabell already waiting on the jet. I explained, and Starks assured Grammy it were an epic time. I still smile when thinking back on that insane afternoon. I kissed Isabell for the first time, saw my mom with a bullet hole between her eyes, had a good margarita, and drove a doomed luxury sports vehicle into Earth’s hellhole—smiling all the while. I’m an adrenaline junky—and there is no matching the rush of skating away from the law after committing a litany of king-hell crimes.

Well I’m proud of you.. let me guess? He were a mess and you had to knock him out to avoid disaster? Grammy patted Doc’s cheek, then rolled the beer can around Dr. Dad’s brow. Janice told Jan she weren’t giving up the earrings, though were willing to part with an event Mew. Isabell looked at me. I thought you were busy telepathically communicating with Tanya? I don’t even know what a Mew is. Sounds like a noise cats make.

We were in no position to deal with tears. We probably just barely got out of there before the feds smelt the smoke. Doc wiped some sweat off his brow—glancing at the TV news displaying our names and faces—claiming we’d ventured over there for the sole sake of killing a cop.. they have never mentioned Mellissa, or the fact they likely found her half charred corpse in the Lambo’s trunk. It’s always been about that cop. I assume 1984 has been unfolding over there since the ‘70s.

Well it’s not like they’re gonna start World War 3 over a cop.. and you? Grammy put Dr. Dad in a chair—Doc keeping the beer can to his throbbing head—then walked over and put her hands on my cheeks. I kissed her forehead while Steels alerted General Bronson he should keep an eye on our shores. It were easy enough to assume america would take any excuse for starting a war—and the UK would be taking their side.  

I’m fine, and had more fun than anything.. also I’m with Isabell. I gestured at her, then at Dee as she gasped on que. Andie yawned and stretched her arms up while walking downstairs in her Gucci jammies, scratched her ass.. then glanced at Steels sweating fear at hearing us being called ‘terrorists’ across the globe. Andie looked at Dee. Dee pointed at us while smiling like ‘see? I told you.’ Andie pulled out her wine pouch—thinking it were gonna be one of those days.

And how did that come about? Tanya looked at me like ‘does she know we’ve been fucking for two years now? That you have like five other girls damn near breaking your phone with texts?’ ‘You killed a cop??’ like fifty times over. No, I just overpaid for shovels and drove a package into the desert.. and set a house with a dead junky in it on fire, though they’ve never mentioned that either. You wanna cover up a series of horrid felonies in america—kill a cop. That’s all they’ll focus on.

..I just got out of a sanitarium and needed to talk with him.. Isabell admitted. Dee looked at me. I nodded while Jackie handed me a cold pint. Andie looked at her wine pouch. ‘I always knew the day would come I’d need a bigger one of these.’ I own one that could double as a beanbag chair.

What happened? Dee pulled Isabell aside. Janice were slap-fighting with Jan—defending her ears. Ref were standing before them with his arms behind his back—judging their bout. Lex assured Steels this were nothing but a smear campaign—all puff designed to enrage the masses. Those news stories only played for about a week, as they didn’t actually have much evidence to connect us to the dead cop. It was mostly the UCLA hospital trying to get back at us after burning them for over half a million.

Are you fucking serious? Tanya got all up in my face.

About her? Yeah. If you don’t like it, you can get the fuck out. I pointed towards the door before taking a jerky bite. Hailey assured Kate that didn’t include her. Kate were smiling to herself. Why? She were in the clear. Tanya could move out at any time and it wouldn’t affect her status at all. So long Andie and Dee stayed together—she’d be living the posh castle life to her grave.

So you’re just gonna give up your fifty other whores? For her?! And Tanya attempted assaulting me. Daisy grabbed her fists and tucked them behind her back. I sipped my beer while glancing at Isabell talking with Dee near the half-bath, then Steels changing the channel after having watched enough of that trash. Doc pushed the hammer of his gun back up. If he didn’t hesitate about killing my mom and her friend, something told me capping Tanya in front of Kate and Grammy wouldn’t even seem all that drastic to him.

Well for one—you pretty much just called yourself a whore. For two, yeah. I nodded while Starks grabbed the cattle prod. Hailey gestured at it—then told Tanya we didn’t wanna use that. Janice did a spinning heel kick and damn near took Jan’s head off.. that were one of the most epic things I’ve ever seen.. holy shit. I watched a tooth fly out of Jan’s mouth before a stream of blood—her eyes rolling back while collapsing onto the floor like a sodden plank. Ref nodded in approval.

Ok Tanya maybe you should just go upstairs. Kate pointed towards the stairwell before sipping her coffee. Julian were dragging Jan towards the garage. Steels assured Janice that were something Bruce Lee would’ve balked over. Janice smiled to herself while adjusting her ear shine. Jan had forced Isabell into that sanitarium, and considered that Finishing Move brain-buster to be karmatic justice. I would kill you to have a gif of that right now. It’d be my screen-saver. Just Janice perfectly nailing Jan in the mouth with her bare heel—pirouetting around as if she’d been training for that very kick since she could walk. Whenever I feel blue, I let it run through my mind and smile to myself.

Or move out? I’ll gladly give you the house near Adriane’s. I said, figuring I’d dump Jan in the house near where Chloe now likely lived.. though I really hoped she got AIDS and died as a sixteen year old prostitute—lingering around Dublin bars and offering heroin addicts blowjobs for room and board. I’d wish horrible things upon anyone in order to avoid an awkward encounter.

How the fuck can you do this to me? Tanya caused us all to chuckle—even if she were genuinely distraught and crying.

I laughed while driving my dead mother to her grave. Ousting you isn’t shit to me. I chuckled while pointing towards the door. Julian opened it after closing the trunk. Steels assured him we didn’t want them killed. Julian said he just didn’t wanna get blood on the upholstery. Steels nodded while Daisy promised Tanya all her belongings would be sent to.. yeah yeah I know the address.. no I mean it—really—we won’t steal anything. Hailey were running upstairs to secure the goods. Isabell probably felt that were long overdue. She’d be getting all her old stuff back, at least.

Be good sweetie! Kate called out—fighting her urge to chuckle. Grammy patted her shoulder, then checked on the good dad. He were slowly coming to, thankfully. It’s not healthy to remain unconscious for an extended period of time.

"..was there any bet regarding this situation occurring?" Andie looked at Lex. Lex said none he’d wish to resurface. Steels held Ralph close. Starks waved him off while grabbing some jerky. Nobody would’ve bet on Isabell resurfacing, not after what I’d done to her at HQ.. oh I couldn’t wait to tell Jenny. She’d get a knee-slapper out of this.

..where am I? Dr. Dad groaned upon opening his eyes. Doc cracked the beer he’d been holding against his skull and offered it. Dr. Dad pounded it—shook his head out—then glanced around. He glared back at Doc.

You fucking swine!! Why? What the fuck possessed you to kill her? Dr. Dad repeatedly smashed the can in his grill. Isabell and Dee were hugging over there. I asked Jackie about lunch? She said we’d be having Lemon Chicken and Kale Soup—featuring carrots, zucchini, white beans and fresh Italian herbs, and that she had a couple loaves of garlic sourdough in the oven. It were good to be home.

..principle? Doc shrugged while checking his face for blood. No, just fear-sweat and desert sand. Daisy ran back in and slammed the door behind her. Hailey were dragging Tanya’s coffee table towards The Base.

"You fucked us all you asshole! Now we’ll never be able to go back there, for one, for two.. well imagine if I killed your ex-wife? Your son driving the corpse into the fucking desert while you’re forced to blow up a cop car as a distraction?" Dr. Dad lashed him with a stethoscope while accepting a cold compress from Starks. Daisy told me no game shows. I said it’d only be just if Isabell’s belongings were returned, and the rest we could share. ‘But Darkrai?’ She’d grown really attached to that feller. I said Isabell were his OT. Daisy sighed, then started upstairs to help Hailey with rearranging the furniture. We certainly didn’t need three couches, coffee tables and TVs, but we sure wanted them.

I’d be thanking you right now, and the good Mike handled the situation.. well better than I did. He said it were just another dead body to him. Doc shrugged—causing Grammy to chuckle to herself. Steels were assuring Janice she seemed built for cage fighting. Lex said they made big money. Janice asked if you could fight while drunk? Steels said in his cage fighting league—that’d be a prerequisite. Janice did another spinning heel kick—glaring at her future opponents. She’s gently nudged me with those battering rams.. the fact Jan’s jaw didn’t fly off her skull baffles me.

Well I suppose that’s a plus.. where’s Jan? Dr. Dad looked around after noticing Isabell and Dee walking towards me. Steels said she were The Great Janice’s first victim. Lex were wrapping her fists while Starks got on the horn with a local sports and fitness store—demanding their finest punching bag, pads and any other equipment an up and coming cage fighter might require.. Starks announced they were having a half price sale on jogging pants. Steels grabbed the phone, and told the clerk we’d take all they had—along with a wide variety of supplements.

Feel at home? I smiled while putting my arms around Isabell. Dee gushed a little, then wondered if Janice had been a dyke all along? Not all female fighters are lesbian.. though it’s easy enough to assume they are.

Especially now that my mom’s gone.. I wanna change and.. shower. Isabell looked down at what she calls her ‘recovery clothing’. It’d been a long flight. I could’ve gone for a nap myself, though weren’t about to miss lunch for anything.

You shower while I call fifty whores. I chuckled to myself while grabbing our bags. Grammy walked up and kissed Isabell’s cheek—Dee having loosely explained the situation to her. I’d really only have to call Adriane, Kath and Linda.. and Jenny—for the sake of hearing her reaction. Possibly Nicky—though I assumed she’d be calling me shortly, based upon all the news stories featuring us. We’d have to find a way to turn this into a marketing scheme—and my team were capable of that. I could be caught with the head of a baby in my teeth, and they’d swing it into a boost in profits.

If he was ever gonna be with someone, I’d want it to be you. Grammy kissed her forehead. Isabell smiled while following me towards the stairs. I laughed at watching Daisy and Hailey carry Tanya’s couch into The Base. Brought back memories.

Ok think about it? Now we can lay vertically while playing games. Hailey gestured at our triple couch and coffee table setup.

"And we can have speed-run competitions on three TVs." Daisy brought up before walking out to grab Tanya’s flat-screen. They’d put all the stuff we’d jacked from Isabell on the first coffee table. I handed her the Mario bobble-head. She smiled at it, remembering my little hands offering it to hers.

Make your calls. She kissed me, then grabbed her duffle bag and walked towards the bedroom. Daisy ran back in—wanting to hear those conversations for herself. I sat on the couch, grabbed a fifth of whisky, and dialed for Jenny first.

You fucking maniac!! You know Nicky’s losing her fucking mind right now?? Jenny yelled into my ear. Lex were explaining Janice’s training regiment to her. ‘..you mean I have to diet and exercise?’ If you wanna be the best, of course. Janice unwrapped her hands while shaking her head. Steels called the sporting goods store—saying to cancel everything but the extra comfy pants.

Alright first of all, I didn’t do anything but drive my dead mother into the desert—which the news has yet to report on. Secondly, you remember that redheaded model from a couple years back? Isabell? The one who’d known me since I were five? I said while Daisy rolled a blunt to my right. Hailey were moving the entertainment center towards the door—making room for Tanya’s. There was probably about twenty grand worth of consoles, controllers, preorder extras and games in or on that large black varnished redwood cabinet.

..you’re fucking insane.. Mike.. you can explain the whole story to me when you get over here and assure Nicky you’re not bound to be dragged off to some american jail for killing a cop.. what about the redhead though? Jenny asked while Jackie were cutting up the kale. Doc assured Steels he felt capable of mixed martial arts. Lex smacked his forehead. Doc tried blocking his hand a full two seconds later. Steels said your reaction time is pure shit. Starks said he’d train Doc himself. Dee were giving Janice a wry grin. Janice squinted at her, then ‘I’m not a fucking dyke!’ ‘You kick like you’d be on top.’ Andie winked at her. Janice groaned and flopped into a chair. Dr. Dad pushed her the community fifth—wondering how long he had before that swell on his head disappeared. You can still see a small bump where Uncle Doc slammed that shovel against his dome.

I met up with her in LA, brought her back here, and we’re together now. I just kicked Tanya out for her. I waited..

You should be in a straitjacket.. alright well good for you, I guess? Just don’t piss Adriane off to the point she quits.. I mean unless Isabell’s willing to model. Jenny perked up at the memory of her photos.

There’s a delicate situation here.. involving dead moms, sanitariums, Tanya’s now living near Adriane, Janice damn near kicked Jan’s head off.. and we’re having some bomb soup for lunch, if you wanted to come over. I offered, as I usually did for Jenny.

"Uh yeah, I’d love to hear about this ‘situation’ from you and the ‘terrorists’ we’re watching on the news right now." Jenny said, Nicky likely grimacing at feeling strapped to her desk. I need someone at the helm.. cause obviously I can’t be trusted there. On the bow as a maiden—sure. The helm? I’m drunk in a deck chair while the navigator’s screaming about upcoming storms. ‘Well navigate us away from these storms.. if you can’t—you’ll walk the plank’—I’d gesture at the plank—Louie waiting below and hungry.

Don’t believe everything you see on TV.. bring your camera. I cut the call, then dialed for Adriane. Ending things with her would be relatively easy—as we’d mostly just fucked and I never cared much for her past that.. Kath and Linda were like my best friends. I never brought them over to the castle cause of Tanya, though I were in their apartment daily. I weren’t looking forward to that phone call.

Are you in jail? Adriane asked.. would she bail me out? Should I set up a special safety deposit box in the bank only she has the key to? It didn’t work out well for Ace.

No we got off scot-free, but uh.. you remember how I told you about Isabell? I said while watching Daisy get the tuck right.

Who? Adriane squinted. Had I told her about Isabell?.. I chose to assume I had, and she were the one with a shit memory that refused to absorb anything pertinent to my life.

The daughter of an old maid, we’ve known each other since we were five? Well we ran into each other in LA, and I’m with her now. I said as Janice walked in with some more jerky and beer. I kinda wanted to set up one of those punching power machines and have a horse kick it, then Janice. I had a feeling she’d give the horse a run for its money.

Haha.. sure. When’re you coming over? I assumed she thought I’d never settle for just one woman. I sipped the bottle of red ale Janice handed me while Daisy sparked up the lemony sativa—my favorite.

I’m not cause I’m being serious. I even kicked Tanya out for her.. also she’s gonna be living in that house near yours now. I explained while Julian pulled Jan out the trunk and started dragging her towards her new house. I assumed Tanya were crying in the cabin. No one feels sorry for beautiful women sobbing in a stretch limo.

Mike.. I know you. This is gonna last for like.. four hours, then you’ll be calling me saying ‘Red, I tried.. couldn’t do it.’

Wanna bet on that? I grinned before taking a pull.

I’ll buy you an iguana if you can stay with her for a week. Well now.. I didn’t need extra incentive—though I did want an iguana.

Deal.. I want a rare, exotic iguana though.. and you also have to buy his special housing and warming light. I said—as it’s far too chilly in Ballycastle for a cold-blooded critter.

..so you’re serious about this Isabell? Adriane said after doing some quick math. A rare iguana can set you back about five hundred—depending on where you live, plus the cage and light? She were betting close to a grand now.    

Very—so you better start looking around pet stores for my iguana. I grinned while cutting the call, then hi-fived Daisy.

I’m proud of you.. alright I’ll go grab it. Janice rubbed my head, then grimaced after losing at rock paper scissors to Hailey in order to decide who’d haul Tanya’s TV down. I assumed Linda were at the dentist’s office, and called Kath.

Mike! I’m making beef stew! I sighed in relief.. Kath must’ve been drunk. She only makes beef stew when she’s wasted—hobbling to the market near their apartment for a two and a half pound chuck roast. Don’t get me wrong—her drunken stew’s fucking amazing, though it’s like watching a very skilled baboon drive a Formula 1 car. He seems to have everything under control.. but it’s still a baboon and liable to crash at any moment.

That’s great.. hey you remember Isabell, right? It hurt me.. giving them up. Daisy had a couple hundos ready to dry my tears.

..is that a spice or? Kath squinted.. wondering if I added Isabell to my own beef stew. I have two beef stew recipes—one featuring red wine, and another stout.

"No she’s the girl I’ve known since