Invisible Lone Traveler: Story of Silas Kobilo

By Silas Kobilo

Quest of this story concerns belief inherent family bond connection men and women have, throughout generations, lived, continue to do so, holding them together, culturally family and what happens when that relationship is disaffected?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jan 10, 2022
• ISBN: 9781543498196

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Copyright © 2022 by Silas Kobilo.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 01/07/2022

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CONTENTS

Chapter I Kenyan Background

Kenya Colony (Kolony)

The Story

Fairwel Party, 1961

Custom/ Tradition

Extended Family

Marriage

Our’/Us/We

K’ogelo Family Tree

Chapter II Obama Family

Onyango

Barack Obama, Sr.

Barack Obama, Jr (Mr. President)

Obilo

Silas Ndalo

City life

Chapter III Education In America

Kinman Business University

Eastern Washington State College

Howard University: 1969 – 1977

Chapter IV Americanization

2407, 1⁵th Street

1621T Street

919 L Street

67 Forrester Street

Naturalization

American?

Chapter V Retirement Project

Own Boss?

Discovering America

Security Zone

Chapter VI Social Media Experience

Mobile Culture

Whatever Is Okey

Analog To Digital

You Are Ok, Am Okey

Chapter VII Lifetime Journey

Mirror View

Internet

My World: African Americanness

Soulmate/Micorazon

Chapter VIII Freedom

American Dream

African American Dreamer

Chapter IX Destination

Health Status

Extended Family Happiness

For sake of it

Second Chance

Chapter X Invincibility Profile

Trust

Character

Social Life

Chapter XI Roots Of Dream

Childhood Legacy

Promised Return

Beatles in a song simplified let it be

Promisory Fulfillment

CHAPTER I

Kenyan Background

South Nyanza Province Kenya, East Africa, birthplace of Kobilo, Kanyadhiang’ chieftainship Karachuonyo. most unique, used to be notable recognized physical presence river Awach spills to Lake Victoria where in August 1961 Kobilo walked crossed bridge to Kendu-Bay taking boat to Kisumu travelled by train to Nairobi Airport on to New York via Egypt and London; bares vital significance to K’Obama village located by the river. Writing back home, first time from America, Kobilo provides detailed account of personal experience 2022 unfinished journey.

Telling this story brings back memorable thought of how valuable the river used to be for his family. In dreamlike recall Kobilo is back home the time river used to be vital, considered blessing source of livelihood for K’Obama. Living close to the river was family fortune in numerous ways. Kobilo maintains claiming Kogelo, his family lineage wisely chose exactly where to settle in Kanyadhiang’ strategically migrating from original home across opposite side of Lake Victoria how then banks of river used to be fertile for agricultural product the family was almost self–sufficient respecting food production for consumption even left over for sale to earn little extra money, grew crop sold some items such as cotton, banana, millet, ground nut, sugar cane, maize; and variety kind vegetables consumed stored the rest to last season yearly. During rainy season when swam of fish from lake came up the river enjoyed fishing.

Along the river designated location for male to bathe another for female only. Separation intended no visible contact see opposite naked or watch them bathing strictly observed without legal enforcement, cultural. Water used for drink, cooking and for multiple domestic purposes. Trees along the river suited provided shade to cool off, take nap and rest during hot sunny days for herds boys easily dip in enjoy themselves.

Approximately five blocks from our village, few miles along the river toward Lake Victoria, there is a place called Nyangala where water relatively deepest with comparatively high falls men and young boys sun rise to sun set gathered to swim in group jumping high up and down from riverbank to the bottom water bellow having fun enjoying themselves repeating the cycle over and over almost day long fun watching. Nyangala was one of the few popular places on the river where all kinds of boys would bundle together having fun, some completely naked running around, others wearing underwear nobody paid much attention, made no difference, nothing to be concerned or ashamed- natural. Slowly after Kobilo and I graduated from high school went to Nairobi city first time, noticed bathroom located inside living apartment with closing door supposedly maintain privacy, keep anybody else out of sight, appeared as if fun was secretly being taken out of open public bathing influence of city life. Naked exposure would now be unacceptable public nuisance, illegal. Bathing inside apartment or house began distinguished city life from rural nature character. Nakedness now privy even among same gender. Had all along growing up been used witnessing large crowd of boys having fun all day enjoying themselves unrestrained, freely swimming and bathing unconcerned of nudity except gender separation, no one paid attention based on distinctive features of nudity made no difference. Except bathing each gender respected privacy of opposite separation, apparent inherent cultural rationale noticed was always observed, had to be customary built-in family discipline. The way saw it natural gut and sensibility make belief simply consider it had always been that way. Occasionally you might notice rogue, rowdy bully boys in minority often outnumbered intimidating, presented no major threat, looking for somebody pick on or simply show how tuff they were exposure to be noticed, maybe admired for being macho. Otherwise, generally, they were mostly in minority rare noticed ignored, bothered nobody paid much attention, essentially considered no major threat. Always there was someone in group or nearby older would be watching closely. Regardless, mainly rogues were there to be noticed macho men, nevertheless curiously would pick fight weaker boys unlikely to retaliate, like me, make fun of them then of sudden disappear. Domesticated animal herders would bring their flocks to drink water some from long distant bathe as well. With extra admixture noise, yelling was very loud fun.

Approaching Nyangala from distant first time used to be like dream exciting. If stranger anxious first thing would hear illusive loud noise laughter sounds happy signaling presence of large crowd parting. No way easy mistake the sound for handful people even from long distance sounds loud crowded unorganized rowdy party going on jammed. You will hear loud yelling endless uncontrolled laughter top lung from long distant, signaling the place is joyfully, fully crowded water flushed high to the sky height looks cloudy whitish all over, cannot wait to get be witness, before it is over, even if not interested participating; observing witness own eye would be satisfactory entertainment. Boys heading toward the river would come running racing each other make sure on time witnessing, if possible, from start, joyous occasion no one ever wants to miss full exciting. Everybody approaching the river hearing the sound could hardly get there fast enough on time join fun. Some of the boys would hang around all day long just to have fun. Cindy Lopes would not convince me girls alone just want to have fun.

The river was primary resource not just for my family, was, as well, for other nearby villages single fixer brought families together community share exchange ideas. Every soul cherished felt blessed to live nearest river, proud river people. Others felt envious admiring from distance occasionally visiting to bathe or fish. Some communities envied our convenient close, location wondering how fortunate blessed we were. It was that wonder made Kobilo believe K’Ogelo selected settling here strategical. No residents had to walk long distances to draw water, with earthen pots long distant on sunny tropical heat to fish or bathe, while we closest sat by the river comfortable taking it easy day and night, conveniently enjoying nature’s beauty and all that the river offers at doorstep unrestrained unpaid for: Free. During rainy season we even went to fish nighttime moon shine. What a blessing! We got food out of it, yes, drew water, bathed several times swam, crossed played stood by watched ragged ugly and beautiful objects flow floating smooth pass by down the river toward Lake Victoria, admirably till evening then went home for supper. Ironic same adorable river bountiful of good fortune would sudden turn out unpredictable, hidden agenda in wait unfold. Enjoying its benefits surprised unable predict underlying mysticism with accuracy, found out for ourselves, the hard way waiting to happen before our eyes, Kobilo and I still remember clearly with laugh now. Unexpectedly, came a day, long will continue to remember, residents along the river, tasted bitter pills took longer swallow, unable dislodge from throat memorize, now wish could remember exact year but do not, neither does Kobilo. Despite the lapse, that day lingers freshly in memory made us realize how fortunate valuable the river we took for grant lesson learnt hard way, impossible forget live.

It had been raining heavy evening the day in question before we went to bed causing the river to overflow its banks, nothing extra ordinary during normal rainy season, has happened before to be alarmed, continued raining when we went to bed stopped at sun rise the following morning the river was roaring loud aroused bit concern this time water turned black over –night, while we slept; something we never had been told in family narratives was now happening everybody seemed caught off guard unprepared to explain or deal with. Never had seen such a sight in my lifetime nor heard from elders. Wonder if it was first time, with doubt. The first arrivals at the river, following morning of the incident, had no idea what had hit they were witnessing, could only describe unable to name nor make of it. They even had no name to call describe what they saw; simply rumbled to find explanation, any explanation, agreeing only on one description: Water turned black in color! Since no one could explain right on spot what had happened in language comprehensible to make sense stunt. There was confusion and sadness in facial expression frightening even to children did not think it fun. Black water? Most residents testified they had never seen such a sight. Had hoped, maybe later living elder person would remember to refresh have yet to hear. The panic caused some to allude, was final day the world was coming to an end we learned happened in Noah’s day, in Bible class took this long to realize, guessing it probably, must have been volcanic eruption, what else could it have been can think of? Volcano being word Kobilo would later learn in American classroom to refresh memory! Now do not and Silas does not remember exactly the year it happened, though. But on that day, there was no yelling at Nyangala nobody bathed and there was no fresh water to drink either. No sound, no yelling! do not remember if we had any fresh water at all at home! Women, who went to fetch water that morning, home with pots empty, silent, way replica reminds of Biblical women wailing paralyzed of God’s punishment being disobedient (Jeremiah 14:3). By the river and at homes silence prevailed rampant uniformly to an unimaginable astonishment hard to explain. Who would explain? There was no laughing, no gossiping but silence continue to prevail for days. Even shepherds took their flock to drink, as usually customary, too found no drinkable water available for their herds. Some three or four days went by for the black ashes clear, but the damage was already done. Even by then, nobody could yet explain what had just happened to our beloved mighty river Awach we prided dearly cherish depend on yearly, one of the incidents I ever witnessed. Another, thing remember water was flowing much slower than it usually does when clear. Apparently, thickness was causing water meandering along terribly slow as if magically sneaking on us heavy, moving at slower than normal pace reminds of how we used to yell at Nyangala, already mentioned, jumping for joy now silently lined up, along the river to watch amazed, as if it was the demise of a planet: The earth? Lingering memories invoked by such incidents, help Kobilo recall his family history.

KENYA COLONY (KOLONY)

Spelling Kolony intentionally emphasizes Luo connotation: that is, the way they spell pronounce it, same. Kenya became colony 1920, slightly ten years before Silas was born. About colony, Luo elders used to orally relate how Wazungu (Europeans) from Ulaya (Europe) came vehemently declared Kenya a colony, for themselves, considered her country without owners (Piny maonge wegi). By so doing side stepped already settled African native owners of land, went on to establish a government with Governor administering newly found Colony segmented chieftainships on tribal basis represent them, locally maintain control over their new acquisition. The Luo did not find humility idea of a colony being discovered by foreigners, who just arrived, considered derogatory demeaner puzzle, Luo and other Kenyan tribes considered unthinkable understand. Reacting response, the Luo coined satirical native song vehemently mocking foreign idea of discovery contemptuously questioning with laugh punctuation:

"Eh, Eh Ehee:

Piny maonge wegi?

Kenya Kolony,

Eh, Eh Ehee:

Piny maonge wegi?

Kenya Kolony,

Med Kendo (repeat),

Piny maonge wegi

Kenya Kolony,

Med kendo (repeat),

Piny maonge wegi?

Kenya Kolony.

The song became popular at football and wrestling matches in South Nyanza among Luo as way to celebrate a win, contemptuously mocking colonial idea of Piny maonge wegi. Native local chiefs were recruited to assist initiating districts and provinces under Governor without plan to prepare natives as future rulers of their own country. Apparently not anticipating influence missionary education would indirectly have preparing native youths to learn foreign culture use to bring down an end to the established colonial rule. They failed to prepare natives for self- rule, mistake that would later haunt the British in Kenya during Mau Mau uprising. As result, nearing self- rule the country had shortage of native administrators to take over govern themselves pretending natives not ready for uhuru (freedom)

Forty years long established now threatened, challenged. The Brits now wanted extension time to train prepare natives to govern themselves, excuse seeking further extend colonial rule. Natives themselves felt they had reached a point of no return-no more delay even willing to work together across established ruling colonial boundaries. I remember well late Mwalimu Julius Nyerere, first President of Tanganyika offering to delay his country declare independence, so Uganda, Kenya and Tanganyika match into an Eastern African union together federation. Doing so must have put pressure surprising governing power. And shortly, before leaving for America, even the British could no longer ignore trending nationalism find excuse buy more time delay pace of training preparation would now haunt them. Reacting to native quest for governing independence, the British response had all along been Kenyans were not yet ready for uhuru (freedom), lacked education to take over governing. However, they could no longer delay pace of transition compelled to initiate immediate transitional government to include native African and Indian sharing governing country legislators and administrators, for the first time. Bitter struggle staged against colonial rule by Mau Mau freedom fighters in 1950s, caught British colonial administrative government power by surprise could no longer ignore. Change was eminent just matter of timing, when. And by the time Kenya gained independence 1963, Silas was already in the states. He would not witness inauguration of scheduled independent Kenyan government. Transitional government set on motion before leaving included Asian and African representatives in legislature. Two years later 1963 Kenya was duly declared self-government. Closest Silas experienced spirit of independent Kenya was seven years later after arrival in America held by Kenya Embassy at Hilton Hotel on Columbia Road, Washington D.C 1969 from Washington State, where there was no embassy, coming to Howard University. It is imperative stressing, the Kenya he is familiar with, talking about in this book is, colonial, primarily, prior to 1961, the Kenya he will be referencing. Any reference to Kenya must be considered in context with that distinction in mind. Essentially, therefore, he has colonial knowledge but not independent Kenya he would later learn about from secondary sources written material or word of mouth after arrived in America.

Distinction he is making necessary to emphasize he cannot speak with confidence about the later phase of Kenya, following end of colonial rule. Under colonial rule Christian’s missionaries to Kenya had significant cultural influence. They were brave enough to penetrate deep in rural areas making direct contact with natives for purpose of Christianizing them. Unknowingly, granting, they never anticipated influence Bible schooling, they instituted, would play role influencing preparation, indirectly, first cadre of Kenyan elite who would eventually change course and direction of Kenya despite inadequate preparatory education and absence of native culture and native history in education. Paradoxically though, the message they brought of better world to come contained seed powerful effective to influence conversion of writer’s father, and family members he brought along convert to Christian religion. Not only that, later sent own elder son Silas to missionary church schools in Kenya. Cultural contact with European religion influenced infusion and absorption of newly acquired foreign ideas missionary infused in early education and values including language and desire for inclusion in history. Early years of missionary Seventh Day Adventist church schools in Kenya learned Christian values widely spread throughout Kenya, most dominant religious nomination in Karachuonyo Seventh Day Adventist. Majority natives lived in rural areas of the country where contact with white men and their women negligent rarity confined to church and missionary Christian activities without literal knowledge. Schools racially segregated racially separate. Naturally, native stereotyped living in town bad influence on native culture, spoiler of youth. Besides local chiefs and lower-level local functionary, natives had no meaningful direct representation, share or stake in governing generally. However, they were learning catching up fast value potentially imbedded in intensive education they could use in pursuit of governing themselves. Education double sword for Christianizing turned out to be instrumental for nationalism.

THE STORY

Quest of this story concerns belief inherent family bond connection men and women have, throughout generations, lived, continue to do so, binding them together, culturally family and what happens when that relationship is disaffected?

Way Kobilo was raised believes same currently absent family disconnection in his life main priority concern in story reexamines own life experience discover relate details explain lengthy life began 86 years in Kenya extending 60 American current gist of what his life may mean. Luo Family mother, father relatives cluster bonded Extended beginning marriage birth of child augmented family institution.

Interestingly America, where spends majority life continue retired citizen, ideal family bondage comparative prevails utmost aspiration now Digital media internet trending worldwide socialization. In America Kobilo began using letter writing communicate with family way used to do working in Nairobi, apparently now thing of the past. First few years of arrival wrote told family of his experience promising them return home after finishing college now long past yet fulfilled recalling ironic turns motive for story. Daunting painful incentive desire recalling lesson father taught him man or woman takes full responsibility for personal action must not excuse way was raised pass on blame to somebody seek absolution elsewhere evade personal responsibility. Family raised sent him off ceremoniously blessed to America for college education expecting return help them live better. Mature Luo son expected take responsibility personal. Willingly Kobilo takes full responsibility for being estranged, living disconnected from K’Obama family birth tradition for such length of time.

Disconnect from family burden obliges Kobilo compelled truthful tell own story relate how was raised child growing in colonial Kenyan background vital details component ingredients long life experience in America since left home September 1961. Story may well be considered salvageable elements revival of long overdue apology to late Obilo family and entire Obama family he has not seen the last 60 years since coming to America. Deciding finally face dialogue with himself, reflectively gazing back family roots for answer weigh accidental impacts entirely life for family and those have since known him, opportunity take second look at the man they may have only bare knowledge of only remember Silas, Silas Ndalo. Silas Christian name, Ndalo Luo native name; Noa they may not be familiar recent combination N-Ndalo, O-Obama (grandfather) and A-Amayo, grandfather on mother’s side-NOA. Any may be expecting to read researched documented scholar work this one is not for them, due personal nature of experience involved neither typical American nor Luo tradition, quest in story. Reader will discover why so skimming throughout the book discover for self. He is committing to directly reach deepest possible, inside himself, in order properly relate to reader, some emotion will be unavoidable, nonetheless vital necessary more so elicit family understanding of those have closest known him personally- ordinary people. Emphatics reiterate story is about personal experience would be inadequately related without him resource being sensitive present express feeling reader may not get to truth. Again, book is not intended for intellectual curiosity investigation of knowledge, necessarily for ordinary average person-informative consumption per se. Considering feelings associated elemental Kobilo experience necessary for understanding the man reader may only now getting to know recognize revelatory awareness of hidden aspect of character rather abnormal ordinarily acceptable now reality of contention, too late ignore. Unrecorded information and knowledge emanating life span 60 year makes Kobilo potential necessary live witness of longevity in quest indispensable. Talking of his experience bridges gap to the past. To ask him stand aside let the past speak would be demeaning, difficult without him connect relate in details unrecorded, long pastime, himself only bridge current possessor of information otherwise unavailable. Expect, most likely he will be open freely willing talk from deep inside own soul reader may need listening closely get in details help make the book interesting reading for average person listening as freely as he possibly able remember share with living generation unnecessary make personal experience meaningful relying solely on recorded documentation does not exist knowledge primary resource usually expected. In this case information about him personal experience, remains unavailable personal privacy. Event and incident of experience change over time loose connectivity demurring consistent fluidity of information. Kobilo is amazed some details of the past come to recall help make memory more reliable connect to the past when in silent relentless abstractly connect with family left back in Kenya, in bathroom mirror indispensable affirmation. Astonished Kobilo marvels how selective memory converge specific on idea worth recalling shared public information? Mostly natural family often recurrent instantaneous understandable. Reluctant, surrender admits he will not be able to remember all the details except as best possible by mental recall, personal, reasoning only to that extent he is willing take responsibility for information he is providing. He maintains depth from which speaking will be unfamiliar publicly as well his own family have not been privileged due to invincible lifestyle makes him isolated. His experience and thought process intrinsically tightly makes it impossible disseminate experience for purpose of objectivity generally expected in scholarship. Himself living witness Kobilo emphatic proud cannot wait tell personal story of experience. Story mainly concerned with his longevity in America with Kenya providing childhood manhood background, bulk experience American, where currently lives retired citizen. Because majority of longevity been American experience will be emphasized more closely, in details, as much possible. Most ironic, though, America where Kobilo spends majority life went to college, worked retired may well be the one place he is least known, considering length of time spent without family currently not even identified with any known social group either; lives independent lone no social identity either controversial, questionable lifestyle. Worth mention earned college degrees, work experience consistently through retirement. Only quit working in April 2012, citizen. Experience in America witnessing rather phenomenal eminent evolution Barack Obama Kenyan root relation, think anyone would have imagined, permanent mark on American history. Am reminded thing used to hear Martin Luther King talk about used to sound dream of happen in my lifetime. Obama-American phenomenal recent developments of the 60’s puts me on spot no longer room hide imperative expand on articulate how precisely possible hide 60 years unfound, even with media socialization, remains invincible socially?

For long Kobilo remains unaccounted living lonely isolated even from own father’s family major concern. Lone life leads him often reliving the past again and again retaining what can salvage mental memorable, questioning own experience now being recalled for purpose of reconstructing story. Some recalled information likely will emanate from anecdotal miniscule silly subject him to criticism but nonetheless, in context of inevitable style of unusual experience, risk he is willing, wants reader directly to close with him vision places himself has been familiar with people meet in life, what been doing since arrived in America 1961 continuing, now retired American. Visiting places way reinvent elicit recall back to Kenya places such as river Awach, K’Obama village, Nyangala, Kendu Bay, Kisii and capital city Nairobi last worked coming to America. In Cheney-Spokane Washington State, there will be many incidents worth recalling connecting chain of experience long been silent waiting telling. In Washington D.C. first night at Hotel Harrington downtown followed driving lone from Spokane cross America from West to East long journey first of kind in America anywhere else ever. Experience at Howard University is not distinct separate apart from involvement with tenants at 2407 fifteenth North West, 1621 T St, 919 L, 67 Forrester St; currently 33 Galveston retirement home providing ample opportunity help refresh recall experience places been in contact remember associates not seen long time. Paradoxical D.C first time since leaving home in America met shared living with fellow Luo, Kenyans in many respects felt closest Extended Family speak native in long time since arrived in America.

Two main developments vital influenced decision to write Invincible Traveller: Story of Silas Kobilo says. Daily watching Small Claims Court impressed upon, deals comparative remind of Luo family extended life. More precisely stumbled on Dreams from my father (1995), shocked. Both deal with family life utmost interested comparison. Dreams directly connects Barack and me family suggests, despite longevity presence in America, there may well be recent Obama relation whose presence in America unaware. For sure none precedes Barack 1960 me 1961 Kobilo tells me, unaware of any other arrival extension hidden unfolding curiosity mystery can’t wait further enlightens American experience until now thought only Obama related in American. Any other Kobilo never had clue of a Barack Jr. who would become American Senator later inaugurated 44th President of US heard speak at Democratic National Convention, 2008.

Primary concern in story, Kobilo feels obliged recall tell America and his own family back home, in Kenya, detailing sixty consecutive years spent in America; how managed unbroken life presence away from family recalling Promise he made long ago to them at a party his father arranged bade him farewell going away, August that year repeat in first letter from America. Watching Small Claims Court series, TV, since retirement 2012, awakened returns decades ago back to memory of childhood, student, worker retired American citizen chain of events. related Strange coincidental watching American Court series led to sudden discovery of Dreams from My Father (1995) interesting directly connects him to conclude there must be other relatives in America he is not current aware of, reminds him about own tie to grand-father Obama family in Kenya. Publication a decade ago of Dreams was unknown to Kobilo until 2008 surprise impressed listening to details of visit author meticulous describes so accurate in details as if born there on visit to Kenya unknown to himself born raised there, the visitor, born here describes eloquent. Symbolically though, the visit bares significant implication in American K’Obama connection, courageous gut devotion to family to which Kobilo, himself, been long disconnected but born raised. In context Kobilo willingly concedes Mr. President Obama closer, nearer home than himself, considering how long been away from home. Not been seen for long time Luo notion would likely consider Kobilo lost, missing, being mandatory explain nature of personal life experience in America revisit, makes Promise to Return timely appropriate necessity, at this juncture in American-Luo Kenyan connection, no longer can remain silent buried. American Kobilo bears responsibility of necessary explain personal African American status take responsibility being second Obama relation to come to America, still alive, oldest of them, has not left ever since. No longer just American nor African personal confined to himself dynamic process must takes us back all the way to K’Obama where it all originated connects dream closest home one story disconnected family relation burden on Kobilo’s shoulders being senior Obama relation in America. Possibility of long developing connection exists now reached relative high point in Kenyan American relation can no longer be taken for granted. Kobilo believes writing own personal memoir of missing family link is, long overdue; appropriately necessary explains African and American connection, possibly there is something deserves hearing on merit from longest living witness subject of story

FAIRWEL PARTY, 1961

The American phase of Promised Return Journey, the story begins 1961, late August, when Zakayo Obilo organized fair well, going away party, for his eldest son, had just obtained admission to Kinman Business University, getting ready to leave for America. Exact date of the party has since long slipped but that occasion lingers vital hint, constant reminder, permanent. Faint reflection confirms it was evening; the sun was shining softly bright with cool air breeze; if familiar with Tropics weather. There could not have been appropriate moment to hold a going away party for beloved son. There were men, women-old and young in attendance. Many of those present delighted to witness this joyous occasion: Among them men and women of K’Obama village and neighborhood shared in planning the party. Their children managed, as well, to peep quite sneaked, looked on no one paid attention noticed, admiringly with curiosity but polite ignored left alone. The villagers invited their close friends and neighbors joined them. The party was organized in back yard of Obilo house in a cool air breeze surrounded with shady trees detracting sun’s rays of tropic from interfering felt good. It was exceedingly smooth as visitors were arriving taking seats one by one, additional chairs and tables brought, borrowed from nearby neighbors to accommodate all who came. Attendees contributed cents, few shillings, goat, cow, lamb or chicken whatever they could afford presented no single question asked. How would anybody forget young children contributing one cent, wonder what it meant for them? For Kobilo little token contributions just to be counted they were there when he left home for a strange distant country was exciting challenge to remember going to America, unforgettable. What mattered most was being present more than actual contribution made rather rare occasion worth attending the party. Considering distance Kobilo was venturing an important occasion no one would want to miss being counted left out, sharing, symbolical physically counted present historic event, showing love for Silas, realizing it might be a long time before they see him again. Sixty years later not yet seen, neither heard from quest.

They were hardly wrong think that way not visionary predict future writing story 60 years later. There was exuberant joy feeling. Everybody looked happy till at the end closest relatives suddenly realized Kobilo would soon leave them for unknown length of time. Tea was served with jelly smeared slices of bread purchased at Kendu Bay, where Zakayo Obilo worked as tailor. Remembering Kobilo laughs telling name of the man in charge spreading jelly on slice bread named Ezekiel Onduto, a relative of the family, hospital nurse. Bread was freshly baked purchased same day of party. Surprisingly, not a single man or woman, not even Kobilo himself, knew much to explain asked about the place he was preparing to go, made some elders suspicious felt uneasy he could be lost for good. Some even secretly whispered why go to place no known family relative been? Among those present none knew or had learnt about America. No information, vehemently confident enough say anything about this new land called America Silas was risking home life determined to go not even himself, holding world map in hand pointing location on map new much convince alter silent suspicious misinformation put elders at ease so anyone wishing to know could understand rely on. On map appeared closer to another island our Barack Sr. went previous year; not knowing Hawaii is America. Preparing to journey Silas had a lot to think destined to set example for family, second Obama relation to study abroad, nor anyone else from entire K’Ogelo-Kanyadhiang’ community been abroad to study other than the two. Both Barack and Silas would be pioneers preparing way for younger boys and girls interested higher learning dream they too would one day make it to America.

Nonetheless, inspiring journey, full of expectations help change mind of unwilling reluctant parents send child to school curios hopeful something good happens. With Barack set pace for a new K’Obama generation follow telling party better future lies ahead in education. In America Kobilo witness youth inspired believe in what they call American Dream in which education is top priority for every child, who looks for better life as well enjoy freedom of opportunity. Education can open opportunity procure good paying job help family live better. Accordingly, observed American youth from incredibly early childhood, prepares for better future already aware what it takes to get there willing enthusiastic. Investing in child education highly prized virtue, seems most families are willing ensure better life for child. On sight Kobilo was more encouraged by value noticed American placed on child education wrote back to tell family. Investment in child education highly prioritized for families with children virtuous commodity. Ever since the party name America soon took root in everyday discussion associated with success. The party lasted a little over two hours and half. Soon, thereafter, over, getting a little dark in evening and one-by-one participants bid goodbye fair well to silas kobilo on way returning to Nairobi proceed on to America. A week later, after the party, Kobilo left home again; this time for good, returning to Nairobi on way to America. Sixty-one years Kobilo has not been seen, neither heard from lately by relatives in America nor returned home, saddening. Accordingly, no information what has become of him now considered lost, may not return, seen again, speculation. The last time fair well party villagers and close family were rather gloomy, some even shade tears openly; not knowing how long it would be before seeing him again. Nonetheless faithful encouraged expecting his return, even though he never told how long it would be. That very same September, boarded plane at Nairobi Airport, landed in Cairo, took off from there for London and on to New York where he spent three days and, soon thereafter, on way to Spokane Airport, destination in Washington State. He had by then, crossed America from one end to another settled for education, would no more travel searching for Kinman Business University in America destination return home.

Three weeks after arrived in America family received his first letter ending with I Promise to Return, assurance of safe arrival, news relief family and friends been long anxiously expecting first letter from America, just to see but touch the letter in person, testimonial evidence of safe arrival, as if letter contained magic relief to father Zakayo Obilo expressed felt wrote back to Silas excited. The letter had to be circulated, passed on from relative to relative even those could not read, stared touched if it contained some heeling magic. Kobilo later wished included photo but did not. Circulating letter to family was, partly satisfy curiosity among doubtful family members of Silas safe arrival. However, thereafter, in a follow up letter, almost a month later Silas second letter arrived reassuring family promise to return after completing college intended express how much he missed them not forgotten promise he made leaving home repeated in first letter, adding Americans asking where he came from, how old he was, whether he has brothers and sisters, how old they are, any married, have children, what tribe and whether there were cities in Africa. Wow! What kind of government Kenyan: Democracy? Surprised only a week passed asking how he likes it in America surprised. Even enquire was he home sick? Apparently, they are as uninformed about Africa as Silas is ignorant about this strange country had to keep them informed about own country learned not much in school knew little himself, least informed now in America discovering same time began discovering America simultaneous. Going away party participants would now understand they were not the only ones ignorant about America. Kobilo would later enlighten them, after his arrival Americans, likewise, were just as equally ignorant about Africa, as Africans were, based on questions they asked him. Glancing back now, had he returned home two years later from America, would have found self-ruled government of majority native legislators and an African elected President instead of colonial British Governor foreigner in charge.

CUSTOM/ TRADITION

Story concerns ongoing internal personal struggle in life alone able recall details family and rest of the world not aware. Living eyewitness helps reader closely follow story better acquainted with daily details of life appreciate. Narratives strictly from inner feeling memorialized account of what comes natural experience connected detailing personal sensitivity. Being Ja-Luo, handy, helpful, what comes to memory growing up child maturing adult invaluable vital asset background to story. After all who, besides Kobilo knows his personal life better explain where he has been-been doing currently or lives lone secret invincible personal own idea privacy? Kobilo’s challenges anyone claim knowing him consistent the last 60 years consecutive family, or American can be vital asset help fill gap lost-unfound from American current status. Intriguing invincible character experience major concern writing to convey emphasize attention directed to family and close associate American resident. Extended Luo Family tribal lineage custom he adores the most. And of course, America, new home where he has been longest primary bulk of task at hand. Coincident events memories associated retirement circumstance, in America, have now triggered desire toward rediscovery track disconnect from distant family been silent remains so.

In story everything Kobilo discuses titillates primary family life intensity. Referencing personal disconnect primarily due to length of time been away from home, intended here. Particularly, Extended Family institution Kobilo is familiar with intends to invoke elaborate on again and again hoping reader will finally get it if patient with tolerance, maybe, with humility as well? In Extended Family lies, deeply rooted, sole of the man as he grows to manhood shaping his life Luo culture, at the time left home for America, was essentially Extended Family structure based on marriage and birth of child by procreation prohibiting sex outside marriage illegitimate, taboo, potential threat to family stability. In no way intend denial existence of out of wedlock child in Luo provided cared systematic fundamental provided for care.

EXTENDED FAMILY

Fundamental basic family survival dependent character. Discipline dominant inherent basic generations throughout life customary natural tradition manifests tradition, way we treat each other act, express ourselves, imitating being Luo we were, are natural extension. Young child growing up needed not go to training or kindergarten learn articulate be told he or she is Luo. Throughout succeeding generations natural inculcated feeling pride being Luo already conscious aware born into. Discipline facilitates recognized ideal values early expressive primacy of family spirit through early childhood observation imitating adult growing up in Luo land Kenya. Never had to go to formal organized institution for purpose. Now think, Kobilo reflects, go to school for it, would have taken much longer become Luo. Context intend extenuate ideal extended family notion culture learning natural more than required school day long occupation, growing up learning to talk, walk systematic expressive evolution laughing crying like ja-Luo simple process rhetorical proud objects not Jamua (foreign). Luo Kitgi Gi Timbegi comes naturally because is about US, Luo, our thing all the time Imagine formal structural school learning Luo customs would have taken much longer be one like, unnecessary living in Extended Luo family structured discipline dominant. Luckily, for me and Kobilo growing up extension of family was thus contingent naturally learned at home no need for additional extension, common sense natural, born raised Luo could speak the language, easily expressive in dho-Luo language without extra effort tradition values passed on through constant touch, talk, feels cumulative the way customs. Kobilo expresses it this way: Personally, came to know tell bedtime stories hearing them repeatedly told stack in mind. The same way learnt to distinguish between right and wrong cognitive imperative do customs expressed in them perpetuate sustenance of family extended union played considerable influence in the way he grew to be mature living in Extended Luo keeps him inspired even retired living away from Luo family morally lingers obligatory. About Extended Family essentially am talking of process of regeneration emanating beginning with marriage extending by birth of child, silent third party, unites mother and father one family=institution.

MARRIAGE

Marriage initiates, binds man and wife family institution.

Birth to them further extends relationship: WE ARE blood DNA extended unlimited bonded family by marriage and birth of child first extension. WE are family referencing American Sister Sledge popular song, recognize imperative eminence of child begins life process humanity longevity unlimited extended binds us humanity perpetual not surprised at marriage we promise till death depart, supposed ties man and woman till death depart natural assumed. Bonded by marriage man and wife and child begins resilient harmonious Luo Extended Family system greatly adore commitment to collective survival together sharing. Ritually Luo system supposed to include the dead comprehensive extended beyond mere survival incremental necessity extension by blood, number, size in which child single unifying vital. Matrimony of Zakayo Obilo and wife Kesia Obambo parentage produced first boy in family future head named Ndalo Christianized Silas sent to America for college education 1961. As system of community, Extended Luo Family was natural accepted, recognized, way fulfilling what was necessary maintain harmony community. Family discipline used vital way doing things taking care of business customary verbal expressed repeated learned experience passed on from one to another generation practiced verbatim, though unrecorded oral history- practical discipline. Doing things same way, repeated normal tradition (kido), and customs (timbe) of Luo child learned growing up unconsciously inherent, respectfully accept become our way, customary makes me know exactly what to say asked what tribe guess. It was the way our Luo history seemed put together enabling child grow to remember adult. Passed on. First son builds hut (simba) right hand front entrance of village to facilitate family growth brings a wife before younger brothers as matter of principle disciplinary respect of tradition. Next son on left. Elder daughter marries ahead of younger sisters, practically. Sex was to be postponed till after wedding assuming, as test of will, to endure waiting turn proper moment allowing time for boy and girl get acquainted. Marriage outside Luo tribe was suspect naturally not common neither outright prohibited either, tolerated. Personally, aware of cases of tribal crossings and inter racial took place as well. Outside of norm. Otherwise, general, obvious trust family unity.

Later, in this chapter cite abridged version of immediate family lineage narrated necessary background. Elsewhere, in the book, relate family background including early schooling, facts consider powerful enough relevant enhance, convenient tracing cultural footprints dating back to Kenya, retrace Kobilo journey to America, pending permanent destination current unknown. They reflect, in details, protracted process of transformation from rural to city finding larger identity firstly as family, on blackness, based on tribal, racial Kenyan nationality comprehensive, wide enough enable Luo customary chain process, single identity among African tribal groups as well wherever they may find themselves among diverse group unwilling dispense Luo identity. Paradoxical lingering irony religious spirituality conspires extend this laborious notion of a future beyond the family. Furthermore, beyond and within Kenya, came to know Asian groups, among whom, are Indians who owned operated small businesses in towns and rural areas, Arab and Asian Indian Kobilo’s father worked for were the most known being closer to their native customers tight purely for commercial purposes, not social meant here. Those operated retail shops in rural closer catering to ordinary rural native citizens, so we came to know interact with them that way. Among Asian group Sikhs witnessed erect bridge over river Awach turban on head apparent clearest distinction from other. The Sikhs erected bridge cross during river during rainy seasons avoid potential hazards. We called them Kalasinga (Sikhs). WE considered anybody not Luo: European, Asian, tribe together lamped ja-mua. Distinguished by color ja-Rachar (white), European addressed Bwana and Mamsap, respectively. Only lately nearing nation status discovered Kenyan but with double loyalty to Europe as Asians to Asia eventual began to understand magnitude wider world of humanity for me begins with Kenyan ID.

Worldwide the Luo manage to maintain, like any other tribal group, with own customs, unique character of identity of pride. Cultural customarily not circumcised, do extract six lower teeth boy and girl initiation. Regard anybody else not Luo, irrespective of tribe, color or race ja-mua. Literally, anybody else who is not Ja-Luo, ja-mua period. For pride of identity Luo child would not want to be called ja-mua at the time left home slowly declining importance. Leaving all lower teeth intact or circumcision symbol attribute being ja-mua. Young boy and girl felt uneasy chastised, enticed for having six teeth or circumcised consider signal ja-mua. However, once reached this stage fulfillment obligation proud being Luo adult behaves that way natural character. Luo boy learns behaves adult from exceedingly early age encouraged consider man, potential head of family. In my day do not recall family avoid child initiation symbolic being responsible Luo. Initiation was therefore intrinsic way identifying loyalty to one’s tribe, at least among the Luo aware. Ironic not complying negative on family reputation, betrayal of tradition amounts to shame. Observed natural noticing family energized enthusiastic urge all youth extract six teeth without anesthetic was personal intimidated for a while postponed imagining how painful it would be six lower teeth extracted having noticed it done on somebody else watching how long it took but had to fulfill family obligation mandatory initiation at last went along. Ja-mua was derogatory label identity attributed to an outsider, foreigner cultural demeaner no Luo would want associated character. Accordingly, not surprised growing personal world customarily distinct Luo land and customs, not yet Kenyan until began working in Nairobi embraced Kenyan identity for transcendent, progress in America comprehend magnitude identification bit confusing. Indian owned shops father and I worked for never socialized allow comprehend wider culture. Neither was for European Onyango Hussein worked for. Socialization slowly began in Nairobi slowly before living home for America. Until then my socialization was primarily traditional Luo Extended Family, Kobilo explains.

Traditionally, take pride being Luo cultured family extension loyal in spiritual existence. Talking about childbirth reminds of what it takes to be man of which childhood rooted seed expansion in which mother, father and child vital unified one begins eminent extension, personal takes blame for delaying growth accepts. Promised Journey Kobilo thinks anybody criticize prejudge God’s intention keeping him alive mandatory compulsion continue living most vital worth articulate element of residential longevity in America. Instance talking of family, no longer necessary think old fashioned family of my generation. Currently, witnessing significant trending family am talking about may no longer exist typical. There is unlikely resemblance the way used to the way it is now notice, current trending in America two same sex cohabits adopt a child become legally bound accepted, recognized family. Then, in my Luo culture birth of child was exciting comparable arrival of long awaited relative every family member been awaiting, cannot wait any longer, touch embrace with joyful elation, begins family extension. Used to see smile even in faces of children gathering around peeping anxious witness birth of baby; if boy could also be allowed freely as girl who needs be there take a lesson. Boy and girl expect witness arrival of baby brother or sister to touch with adoration. Birth of child was like an Engel visiting you cannot just judge by color of skin, like a stranger, unexpected blessing to family; must be treated with kindness deserving. The same accolade was respectful comparably accorded stranger traveling passing by village, could be, an Engel, carrier of blessing or potentially prone to bad fortune travelling at night, had to be persuaded stay overnight for safety. Used to see elders insist stranger be welcomed to spend night then following morning, when there is light in the sky, proceed on their way. Accordingly, birth of child treated with similar security concern. Procedural responsibility of making birth of child success rested solely with women in charge elder one supervising, meticulously advising how to do it right, follow customary procedure, successfully with care. Women alone perform delivery including preparation of proper diet appropriate for mother after delivering. There will be a woman or two staying around helping prepare ensure appropriate proper meal served mother until she is back to normalcy. Husband and any male are not expected to be around; it is none of their business. And, interestingly, witnessed some such husbands act as if they are not even there, avoiding being seen or spotted, nearby at home. That is the way it was supposed, as if to imply they are the cause of mother going through pain of birth. Personally, never bothered enquire until noticed in America birth of child occasion mandating presence of father caught me unexpecting surprised something unusual very extraordinary.

There is apparent disparity contrast culturally: In America Kobilo noticed presence of husband is a must at birth of child, takes off from work. He is, expected to be their cuts umbilical code is, symbolically imperative, seems like mandatory presence. He has seen incidences of women furiously unwilling to forgive husband’s absence at birth of child, contrasts that of my Luo tradition. Usually there is constant stream of Luo women arriving in response of news spreading about newly born baby considered visitor from somewhere, wanting to hold curdle newborn treated with due respect of an Engel, a stranger. Outright, Kobilo’s personal observation finds similar reaction notice same woman react in America. Mother’s love for baby seems to be universal phenomenon observed in Kenya and in America, amazing joyous moment, in Luo family for both woman and man alike even though father is not expected to be present at child’s delivery proud of, more so first son important signify continuity of family, hereditary. Growing child is often reminded of pending contingent duty of becoming head of family from early prepares for acts that way Luo from early childhood complemented by mother and sister expecting he will care for them when the time comes. Boy child is potential head of family in transition manhood future head of family, unlike his sister who learns to leave family in search of husband he, stays home permanent prepares learns from father. The longer father lives the better it is for him. Like father grown mature son is not expected present at birth, like father always stays distant. They are not expected witnesses at childbirth. Personally, recall noticing disparity the Luo place prioritizing recognition of child boy and girl. Birth of first son is pride of every potential Luo father sign of being ready to accept full responsibility of potential future inheritor, provider head of family. Should father pass away there will be son to take his place significant value in Luo culture preference for boy. Want to make more clearly, for better understanding of no Luo, means, even disabled or handicapped, father remains sole head of family he lives cannot be replaced or overthrown death alone separates him diverge of his leadership function role happens in other cultures. Kobilo considers himself proud product of Luo Extended Family child of Zakayo Obilo and wife Kesia Obambo, first born son with two sisters, Yukabet Ngore, and Fibi Dondi; three other brothers Jacob, Joseph, Elijah, Salmon and a sister Wilkista born of two stepmothers Asenje and Oyoo he misses. Following early death of mother, raising and caring for Kobilo and sisters was among vital functions of and responsibility unique of Extended Family natural. Under family umbrella raising child was one of shared responsibility in which every member had role to play collective function made an orphan child feel good wanted loved in absence of real mother.

Kobilo admits thought of Extended Luo Family childcare metastasized inspiring watching American Small Claims Court TV series. Partly, because notice childcare to be one issue regularly dominant watching the Courts with eye fixity. Following early death of his mother him two sisters were raised by members of the Extended Family jointly together, meaning, every member of K’Obama family played role raising them makes him product extension of Obama-Obilo, future head of his own family. There was no way his father raising him and sisters working daily full time five days a week, away from home alone. Even if he could, there was no need for him doing so or consider hiring sitter, either. There were ready hands available to fulfill same responsibility of shared duty raising child in the Extended Family conveniently. Father went to work every day no opportunity to take care of child himself. Moreover, American notion of single parent was, practically absent, comparatively, foreign, absent in Luo custom of Extended Family. Nor was there reason for Zakayo Obilo worry about childcare was accordingly taken care of. Few men and women went outside or worked in garden nearby with children companying to play except on occasion went shop at distant market. It was unusual finding nobody at home any time day or night. Restless child could simply be taken to mother working nearby for breast feed. Grandmothers usually home available handy to share responsibility. Overall, no single person cared for child alone even where both parents are alive, was collective responsibility convenient for orphan to fit in identity allowed any adult family or outsider discipline child. Teenage girls played role shared responsibility caring for little ones as well.

Particularly, young girls had reason sharing in childcare. Shared child raising was, for them handy convenient learning to prepare becoming responsible mothers, beneficial from early age. Not to forget though, teenagers, like those of today, and our own sisters included, tend generally negligent, sometimes unpredictable, naughty caring for baby, felt bothersome, none of their business, often complained of child crying uncontrollable blaming mother for taking too long to return home from shopping Kendu-Bay, or distant Koyugi or Kawandhina market or from gardening across river Awach, where Kobilo’s stepmothers used to go gardening. Sarcastic irritated sitter loudly saying am too young to be bothered by crying baby not mine preventing me play, sings in Luo:

Oh yaye,

Reti nyathini yuak,

Reti nyathini yuak,

Reti nyathini otimo koko x2,

Ah! Oh, yaye pod atin,

Pok anyuolo nyithindo,

Mamona tedo,

Kalongo-longo,

Ok a meru michanda Kama,

Ok a meru mibaro wiya,

Wang’ nyajuok. Essentially, teen babysitter was bitterly procrastinated, prodding pleading mother to return: Please! Please! hurry back home hurry back your baby is crying furiously unstoppable. Am young, too young have no child of my own prevent me from playing. Then suddenly turns around staring straight into baby’s eyes laments pertinaciously you would think bitterly: Ok a meru michanda kama ok a meru mibaro wiya wang’ nyajuok Am not your mother to be bothered by you. However, complaint, aside no way meant she was bitter not aware of importance of personal role training preparation of becoming better mother mandatory responsibility young Luo girls go through. For young girl baby care one of core duties of Extended Family expected of her, no option to find husband and be good mother she would master. Working side by side with mother provide opportunity to learn cooking, caring for baby performing miscellaneous core household responsibility women do. She was just frustrated of time it took mother to return home. As soon mother is seen nearing home from distant you would notice babysitter exited smiling walking with baby toward visible returning mother padding baby, welcome mother back as if she forgot having succinctly articulated her frustration displeasure: Ah Oh yaye pod atin, too young to be bothered. Nonetheless, recognized understanding, there was no available exit for her, culturally, from this normal expected shared responsibility mandatory growing up taking responsibility, despite her frustration. Naturally, growing up in Extended Family way adjusting sharing established pertinent cultural values of womanhood.

In discussing Extended Family relationship Kobilo grandpa/ma, aunt, uncle, cousin and their children living together or in proximity sharing responsibility and obligations necessary to sustain community of families. K’Obama, our grand- father, was essentially a village, unlimited by blood relations alone. The space it occupied compared to nearby adjacent families, larger. There lived in the village, for instance, family of man named Okech had three sons respectively Ayieko, Goga, Okundi and sister Guna. Ayieko married Ogwel bore daughter Opudo later married. With dowry received for Opudo marriage sustained blind father who was later divorced never married again. Goga and wife Rael also had son Ouso, who was too young to marry at the time. Okundi and wife had no child. Another Ojwang’ married had daughter named Nyangweso. Their family tree flourished continuously intertwined inseparable from Obama’s own relations among whom they lived. Family discipline reinforced purpose and unity intended to serve all the members including Okech, Okundi and Ojwang’ family. They were part and parcel of Obama family inseparable. Unless told, a stranger to K’Obama would be unable isolate later resident families and their descendants from Obama’s. Essentially our K’Obama occupied comparatively large compound irrespective of size of family status of village. Disputes and family problems were dealt with privately in the Extended Family or by action of village elders considered to be wise. Unpaid debt passed on to future generation rarely led to court litigation witness in small claims court. Debt was like investment with benefits to recoup tomorrow or in life no time limit, perpetual. If you help me may, or member of my family later reciprocate help you or make restitution to your descendants in line in kind. Inherent Extended family patience of trust was always relied on faithful vital cultural virtue of trust and respect. Was as always tomorrow will come; somebody needs another contribute help. We are all in it, together family constant reminder.

Patience waiting gave debtors sense of relief, time to feel at ease paying debt when can or simply defer acknowledge its existence, knowing, it will eventually be repaid in kind, does not matter when, whatever, prioritizing importance of immediate family needs preserve permanent relation. Who will pay futuristic communal debt generation inherent survival shared building perpetual trust, family members went to bed woke up undisturbed about outstanding debt, unpaid, was either repaid immediately, if possible or, inherited forgiven passed on perpetual valuable gift from to another hardly mentioned faithful established natural Luo family debt vital element indistinguishable from Extended Family itself tied? Would be safe intimate debt reliable assurance intended promote, enhance Extended Family life. The family tree was always there permanent, nothing to worry about or get excited about promote. If my grandfather loaned your father a goat in the past and, my son is now getting married, needs help with dowry, you might want to contribute cash, cow or lamb, whatever you can afford, help meet current need at hand not necessarily direct return debt actual owed. That way debt is paid indirectly, was always appreciated tolerated silently that way so we can all afford to live see tomorrow together family. Raising it in story because wonder hearing these days necessity placed on balancing budget?

Whenever need arose there was somebody willing to make contribution anticipating future reciprocity fulfill outstanding debt owed, any way possible needs, not necessarily be the borrower; can be anybody family. Luo used to say, in Luo you never know what comes your way tomorrow, that’s ang’e ok otelona, wishful thinking no guaranty. Debt was customary common