Liberated to Engage: A New Way Forward from the Christian-Lgbtq+ Debate

By Felipe Sostre

Churches discriminate. LGBTQ+ people have been among the most notable groups to have suffered the trauma of being rejected and ostracised by religious institutions who claim to espouse God’s love. Most Christians, gay and straight, find themselmes in the crosshaires of what has become a toxic debate over how to affirm the lives of LGBTQ+ people.

Felipe Sostre brings a unique biblical perspective that frees Christians from the burden of having to choose whether to condemn or condone LGBTQ+ lives. Liberate and Engage presents a paradigm for inclusivity that is inspired by the words, heart, and example of Jesus Christ.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Dec 29, 2021
• ISBN: 9781664250406

Felipe Sostre

Felipe Sostre is a writer, public speaker and former pastor. He holds graduate degrees in Religious Studies and Pastoral Care. He shares his life with his beloved wife of 20 years, Megan. Together they parent a blended family of 7 children and 5 grandchildren. They share a passion for the advocacy of victims of spiritual injustice.

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ISBN: 978-1-6642-5039-0 (sc)

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Library of Congress Control Number: 2021923531

WestBow Press rev. date: 03/09/2022

A mi querida madre,

Luz Minerva Giboyeaux.

Cual su compasión para la gente y su amor para

la literatura me inspiraron a escribir.

CONTENTS

Acknowledgments

Preface

Introduction

Chapter One

To Condemn or to Condone? The Two Opposing Theological Views about LGBTQ+ Issues and a Guy Named Tyler

Chapter Two

Internal Differentiation: Learning to Tell Our Prejudices Apart from Our Faith

Chapter Three

Unburdening: Letting Go of Unbiblical Beliefs, Pride, Narrow-Mindedness, and Politics

Chapter Four

Humanization: Valuing LGBTQ+ People as Whole and Unique Individuals

Chapter Five

Engagement: Overcoming Homophobia and Embracing the Freedom for Inclusion

Chapter Six

A New Way Forward

Guidelines for Group Discussion

Endnotes

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Megan. Coming up with the words to describe how I feel about my wife and how she has shaped my life is more difficult than I ever imagined. Words simply fail to speak for my heart; they are not enough. Yet I must try. Her compassion softens me to be able to care more. Her passion emboldens me to speak up more. Her love inspires me to believe more. Her tears fall along mine as we share the blows, betrayals, and disillusionments of ministry, of parenting, of life. Most times, she suffers these things more deeply than I, but not because of weakness. Oh no. She feels these pains more deeply, more intensely, because of the strength of her convictions. You see, she believes that we all can do better. She expects us to do better, especially the people of Jesus, especially me. She is the fire that purifies my intentions and lights my imagination. It is because of her that you hold this book in your hands. Thank you, my love.

My seven children. Rebeckah, my wise and steady one; Donye, my relentless fighter; Josiah, my faithful friend; Caitlyn, my dreamer; Isabelle, my joyous one; Cassandra, my curious one; Lilyana, my amazement. The people who motivate me most call me Papi. I love you all.

Susan. A special thanks to my mentor, Dr. Susan Tower Hollis, who guided this work when it was in its academic form as a final project for my graduate degree. I miss our talks.

Andy. This is all your fault. Love you, bro.

To all my LGBTQ friends. I hope I do right by you.

PREFACE

The way that society sees, understands, and accepts LGBTQ people has evolved significantly in the last thirty years, while the church’s ethos regarding those same people has barely budged. How does an everyday Christian live lovingly toward LGBTQ people in this evolving society, while honoring religious beliefs regarding those same lives that have barely evolved at all? Recent studies demonstrate that despite a progressive cultural shift toward inclusion and equality, conservative Christians still struggle with knowing how to engage with LGBTQ people in a way that is consistent with their Christian values.

Meanwhile, progressive Christians have been stuck in a binary and toxic debate with conservative Christians over whether the Bible condemns or affirms the orientations, identities, and relationships of LGBTQ people. This debate has resulted in contemptuous divisions within faith communities and in the ostracism of LGBTQ people from many congregations. A third Christ-centric perspective is necessary to lift all Christians out of this debate. The heart of these discussions needs to be reoriented toward the Christian ideals of nonjudgmentalism, consistency between faith and practice, valuing the image of God in every human being, and a willingness to engage all others for the sake of love—not religious-driven pretense or ulterior motives. This is a paradigm shift that I believe is both necessary and possible.

This book is the product of many broken hearts. The broken hearts of the many LGBTQ people who just want to believe, to love, and to be loved. The broken hearts of my wife and I, who still struggle to understand where and how we fit in the Christian world. The broken hearts of those disillusioned by Christian communities. These are hearts that have unjustifiably broken for way too long. So, while this book may be short, it is not meant to be a quick read. On the contrary, this book is meant to be read slowly and contemplatively. Allow time for personal reflection, using the questions at the end of every chapter. If reading with a small group, use the questions as a catalyst for fruitful and respectful discussion. My goal is not to change your mind; my goal is to inspire your soul. May the heart of Jesus be what we aspire to. May the brokenhearted be why we aspire at all.

INTRODUCTION

When I was in seminary in NYC, a professor asked our class, What is your highest source of moral authority? Eagerly and confidently, several of us answered, The Bible, the Word of God, and so on, thinking this was a segue into a deeper theological discussion. No, he replied. Your highest source of moral authority are the beliefs and norms of the group to which you belong. There was an awkward silence as we waited for him to say something more, something more orthodox, something that affirmed the exclusive moral authority of the Bible. Instead, he simply repeated, Your highest source of moral authority are the beliefs and norms of the group to which you belong. What in the world is this guy talking about? We were enraged. A debate ensued, and students began to rebut, What do you mean the Bible is not our highest source of moral authority? and Jesus is the living Word! and The Word of God is the same yesterday, today, and forever! and … you get the picture. Yet, while we were all worked up, he remained calm and resolute. His gaze scanned the classroom, and then, in an even quieter tone, he said again, Your highest source of moral authority are the beliefs and norms of the group to which you belong.

Twenty years, five churches, and two failed church plants later, I’ve come to realize … he was right. If we’re honest, truly honest, it is our need to belong that shapes how we believe (or what we say we believe). Think about all the things you do, think, and question that you wouldn’t dare confess to your fellow church folk, especially those in leadership, because it doesn’t exactly align with the group’s professed biblical norms. Perhaps we fear being ostracized, being overlooked for ministry opportunities, or outright rejection. Choosing not to conform, choosing to be intellectually and emotionally honest takes courage, especially in a religious setting. Following Christ and reading the Bible ought to invite intellectual and emotional honesty, not conformity and pretentiousness. No group has been more engaged in the struggle for authentic communities of faith than the people who are gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or other nonbinary sexual orientation or gender identification.

You see, we don’t like to talk in church. I mean, sure, we talk, especially after service and especially-especially if there’s coffee, but we don’t like to talk in church—not about things that challenge our groupthink and not with people who don’t think like the group. It may surprise you that most LGBTQ people grew up in religious homes¹, and more than half of these still hold and/or practice their faith today.² Chances are, you will find a higher concentration of people who grew up in religious homes amongst the LGBTQ community (86 percent) than among members of the general public as a whole (75 percent).³ Yet, 87 percent of evangelical Christians believe it would be difficult to have a normal and natural conversation with an LGBTQ person, and 58 percent of LGBTQ people say it would be difficult for them to have a normal and natural conversation with a conservative Christian.⁴ We don’t talk. Not in church. Not enough.

These numbers are evidence of a paradoxical dilemma that exists between the LGBTQ and Christian communities. One the hand, both groups are mutually exclusive in that they exist in contention with one another in the arenas of theology and sociopolitical objectives. Yet both groups are mutually inclusive in that many Christians are LGBTQ and many LGBTQ people are Christian. Consequently, there exists a group of people caught at the crossroads of religious orthodoxy and gender/sexual identity. The unfortunate response from extremists in both groups has been to villainize the other, creating a toxic debate that has spilled over into politics, policy, and pop culture. What exacerbates this polarization further is that people