LOVE YOU: A devoted couple’s letters and memories from the Vietnam conflict

By Jim Rusk and Kathie Rusk

Jim and Kathie Rusk have enjoyed life together for nearly sixty years. Love You's compilation of letters and memories details their commitment to each other while Jim was deployed to Vietnam from July 1969 to July 1970. Their story, presenting an intimate view of the struggles and triumphs of a military family facing separation, provides insight into the devotion and dedication needed to support all men and women in arms.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Dec 15, 2021
• ISBN: 9781667812175

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Copyright 2021 Jim and Kathie Rusk

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, write to the author address attention: permissions at [e-mail].

Print ISBN: 978-1-66781-216-8

e-Book ISBN: 978-1-66781-217-5

Printed in the United States of America

First edition

Front cover: Sherry Darrah

Editor: Jill Butler Wilson

Production coordinator: Craig Altschul + Associates

Transcription Service: Mass Transcription.

For Michael and James Rusk and their families

For the members of Jim’s Vietnam Finance family,

many of whom reunite biennially

at meetings of the Retired Finance Organization

For all military spouses who have supported

their men and women in arms—

your dedication and sacrifice is beyond words

Contents

Preface

Prologue

Chapter 1: July 1969

Chapter 2: August 1969

Chapter 3: September 1969

Chapter 4: October 1969

Chapter 5: November 1969

Chapter 6: December 1969

Chapter 7: January 1970

Chapter 8: February 1970

Chapter 9: March 1970

Chapter 10: April 1970

Chapter 11: May 1970

Chapter 12: June 1970

Epilogue

Where Are They Now?

Map-South Vietnam

Preface

Love You is an account of our separation during Jim’s deployment to Vietnam from July 1969 to July 1970. Prior to Jim’s departure, we promised to write every day. For the most part, we accomplished that commitment to each other. In addition to writing, we also exchanged cassette tapes.

Kathie saved the letters and tapes from Jim. They languished in our cedar chest for fifty years. The thought of organizing and reading the letters bubbled to the surface of our thoughts many times, but no such project materialized. In mid-2020, with COVID-19 restrictions in full force, we decided the time had arrived to revisit the Vietnam period in our lives. We put our 281 letters in chronological order under protective covers. The idea for a book was born.

As we reread our letters, we realized that they tell a story about a military couple’s love, commitment, and struggles raising a young family while separated by the Vietnam conflict. As the foundation for sharing that story, this book uses Jim’s letters, supported by his and Kathie’s present-day memories. Additionally, over two hours of Kathie’s tapes were transcribed and incorporated into the story. Edits to the letters and tape transcripts are indicated by square brackets. The photographs included in the book were taken by Jim during his travels in Vietnam and while on R&R in Hawaii. Also included is a map showing the location of trips Jim took during his tour.

A special part of the story is the relationships developed and nurtured during our separation, among fellow officers deployed with Jim to Vietnam and among family and friends supporting Kathie at home. The value of that support system played an essential role in our story. As we approach our sixtieth wedding anniversary, we hope Love You will help educate readers on the level of commitment and devotion required to support our men and women in uniform.

Prologue

It was going to be a special day—a bright and sunny 10 June along the banks of the Rocky River, flowing through Cleveland Metropolitan Park. Jim Rusk, accompanied by Kathie Bauhaus, pulled his car into a parking spot alongside the river. On that early morning in 1961, we were on our way to Kent, Ohio. Jim was graduating from Kent State University in a few hours. However, he had another task in mind. After pulling to a stop, he turned toward Kathie with an engagement ring and asked her to marry him. He had gained a great deal of respect from her dad by asking permission. Our journey through life together began when, without hesitation, Kathie said, Yes!

Later that day, Jim graduated with a bachelor’s degree in business administration in accounting, Through the US Army Reserve Officers’ Training Corps at Kent State, he also received his commission as a second lieutenant in the Field Artillery Branch of the US Army Reserve. His designation as a Distinguished Military Graduate allowed him to apply for a commission in the regular army, which he did shortly after graduation. The application process took nearly six months. On 15 December, Jim was sworn in as a second lieutenant in the Infantry Branch of the regular army.

Jim reported to Fort Benning in Georgia in January 1962, to attend the Infantry Officer Basic Course and Jump School (military parachutist training). Kathie’s dad insisted that she not marry until after her twenty-first birthday, which fell on 25 February of that year. A wedding date was set for the next 28 April. Jim arrived in Cleveland from Fort Benning about forty-eight hours before the ceremony, which was followed by a wonderful celebration. Newly married, we spent our honeymoon driving back to Fort Benning, where Jim had been assigned to start Ranger School in three weeks.

After nine weeks of separation, we moved to Fort Devens in Massachusetts, where Jim’s first assignment was to the Second Battalion, Second Infantry, Fifth Infantry Division. While in Massachusetts, Jim moved through a succession of leadership positions that culminated with his assignment as commander of Company C, Second Battalion, Second Infantry. He was promoted to first lieutenant. Meanwhile, we welcomed Michael Edward Rusk to the family, on 5 June 1963.

Following his command assignment, Jim became a staff officer within the battalion and began to reassess his future in the army. After much research, he applied for a branch transfer to the Finance Corps, a significant career decision to remain on active duty beyond his original four-year commitment to the regular army. When Kathie’s parents made a special trip to Fort Devens to argue against that decision, Kathie closed the matter by telling them that she was supporting Jim 100 percent. Without her support, he would have found it impossible to complete a successful military career.

The transfer was approved, and we received orders to report to the Finance Officer Basic Course in the Finance School at Fort Benjamin Harrison in Indiana, in July 1964. Jim’s accounting degree from Kent most likely helped with the approval of the transfer. We were expecting baby two as the move was made. Jim also received orders to the Berlin Brigade in Germany. On 24 November 1964, James Alan Rusk was welcomed to the family.

We arrived in Berlin on a cold, blustery day in January 1965, having survived a ten-day cruise across the Atlantic aboard the troop ship USS Darby. Our family included Jim, Kathie, Mike (age eighteen months), and Jimmy (age one and one-half months). The next three years would prove to be a wonderful adventure. Being separated from family allowed us to grow as a family unit. Jim was promoted to captain. Both Jim and Kathie’s parents were able to visit. Al and Hilda Bauhaus had immigrated to the United States in the 1920s, and we were able to meet Kathie’s relatives and visit her parents’ hometowns. We had fun times trying to say things using an English–German dictionary. Jim’s parents joined us on a driving tour through the Scandinavian countries. Day-to-day happenings behind the wall in West Berlin yielded too many adventures to include here. Jim was the finance and accounting officer for the Berlin Brigade and accumulated many stories about, for example, million-dollar cash paydays and a box of gold stored in his vault.

As the three years in Berlin passed, the ever-expanding war in Vietnam gained more and more of the daily headlines. Jim’s old infantry unit was reassigned to Vietnam, and he later learned that one of his platoon leaders did not survive his tour. The war was beginning to cast a long, dark shadow within the army. All good things must come to an end, and Jim received orders to report as finance and accounting officer at the US Army Reserve Center in St. Louis, Missouri, in January 1968.

It turned out that our time in St. Louis would be quite short, as Jim received another set of orders to report to Fort Benjamin Harrison to attend the Finance Officer Advanced Course (FOAC) starting on 8 September 1968. The class consisted of forty officers: thirty-two US officers and eight foreign national officers. The class’s graduation date was 27 May 1969.

That course turned out to be foundational for Jim’s future career in the army. Though all participants moved in separate directions after graduation, friendships created during those nine months have endured for years. The FAOC motto, displayed in the course’s 1969 yearbook, was a quote from Dwight David Eisenhower (1890–1969), the thirty-fourth president of the United States and General of the Army: Give us the power to discern clearly right from wrong and allow all our words and actions to be governed thereby, and by the laws of this land. Especially we pray that our concern shall be for all the people regardless of station, race or calling. May cooperation be permitted, and be the mutual aim of those who, under the concepts of our Constitution, hold to differing political faiths, so that all may work for the good of our beloved country and Thy glory. Those words remain applicable today.

Knowing that the next orders would be for Vietnam, most in the FAOC were determined to enjoy the time remaining prior to deployment. As the army expanded due to the war, promotion times decreased. Shortly after the course began, Jim and a number of his fellow students were promoted to major, a promotion that made Jim a field grade officer and had a significant impact on his future assignments. The FAOC class bonded together by playing numerous pranks against the instructors, who got to a point of dismissing classes early. FAOC classmates drank lots of coffee in the school’s snack bar. Most evenings were spent enjoying our individual families as graduation grew closer. Decisions on where families would live during their separations had to be made. Orders finally arrived, and the reality that we were going to Vietnam hit home with a vengeance. Nineteen members of the class were leaving for Vietnam. Graduation day arrived, and Jim’s departure date was set for 7 July 1969.

We had a little over a month to relocate to Cleveland. Our decision to leave Indianapolis was driven by Kathie’s desire to allow her parents to enjoy their grandchildren, particularly since they had missed being together for most of the years we were in Berlin. We were able to rent an apartment in a duplex down the street from her parents’ home and made the move. Earlier, we had decided to spend our last two weeks before Vietnam alone as a family, so we rented a cabin on a lake near Ironwood, Michigan. We had become close to Rep and Mary Repischak through FAOC. Ironwood, Rep’s hometown, was near the location of a cabin the Repischaks owned in northwest Wisconsin. It was great to be together, but the cloud of Vietnam hung heavy above our heads.

Jim’s brother Ed, living in Saigon as a member of the Central Intelligence Agency, was able to learn that Jim would be assigned to Long Binh in South Vietnam. Jim would serve as chief of the Non-appropriated Funds Audit Branch, Internal Revue Division, Office of the Comptroller, headquartered with the United States Army, Republic of Vietnam (USARV). As other class members learned of their various assignments, Jim discovered that his FOAC family would serve from the Delta in the south to the DMZ (demilitarized zone) in the north.

Our Vietnam story was about to begin. We pledged to write to each other every day. …

Jim’s hooch Room on second floor. Bunkers at end of building.

USARV Headquarters – view from Jim’s quarters.

Arrival in Vietnam. Temporary Quarters.

Momasons in background (housekeepers).

Finance Officer Advanced Course 1-69 (FOAC).

Classmates deployed to Vietnam with Jim.

Finance Officer Advanced Course 1-69 (FOAC).

Classmates deployed to Vietnam with Jim.

Jim’s room. Footlocker end table replaced by desk.

Chapter 1

July 1969

Departure day for Vietnam—a day we both looked forward to and dreaded for many months—finally arrived on 7 July 1969. Jim’s orders directed him to Travis Air Force Base, outside of San Francisco. He wrote three postcards en route to Vietnam.

7 July: Hi! Am in Travis and thought I’d write in case the Hawaii stop is short […]. Will leave here at 1:30 am your time. Flight time to VN is 19 hours. All is well. Love you. Jim.

8 July: Hi! Just a short note as we only have 30 minutes. It’s 1:30 am so can’t see anything (Hawaii). Bought some sleeping pills—hope they work. Love you. Jim.

8 July: Hi! Am in Okinawa now. 10 hours from Hawaii. Best I can determine Vietnam is 12 hours ahead of Cleveland. Should arrive in VN about 11 am local time. Managed a couple of hours of sleep and feel better. Love you much. Jim.

Jim’s Memories: As we approached our landing at Bien Hoa Airbase in Vietnam, everyone aboard the civilian chartered aircraft crowded near the windows for our first look at this place called Vietnam. The first thing we saw were a number of fires putting up large clouds of black smoke. Most of us had no idea what was happening, and some thought the base was being attacked. Then a returning soldier told us, No, it’s not an attack. They’re just burning yesterday buckets from the numerous outhouses on base. It seems that diesel fuel was the preferred method for that technique of waste disposal. Looking back, those fires were a subtle euphemism for what the next year contained. As we left the plane, we were greeted by over one hundred soldiers waiting to board, each yelling, We have less seconds in-country than you have days [365]—another sign of things to come.

Kathie’s Memories: At home, staring at our empty apartment with the boys running around inside, I couldn’t believe Jim was gone. In a way, I was glad the journey had started, so we could count down to the end. But I felt so lost and alone and didn’t know what to do or where to start or how to live without Jim by my side.

8 July: Dearest Kathie, It’s still a little hard to believe I’m here and I have no comprehension of how long the year will be. But somehow it will pass, and I’ll see you. Love you. Please take care. Write. The address is good. Tell the kids hello and give them a big kiss. Hope things are fine with your folks. Keep going babe, I know it’s tough, but we’ll make it. Love you! Will mail this in the morning—9 July. Let me know how [long]it takes. Tell Mom and Dad I talked with Ed and he’s fine. Will see him Sunday unless he can make it sooner. Love You!! Smile. Jim

10 July (9:15 pm): Dearest Kathie, Hi! How are things tonight? It’s raining like mad again but at least I’ve avoided getting wet today—first time—Ha! It’s been another busy day. Spent most of the time trying to read myself into the system […]. I’ll be doing a great deal of traveling once I get into things. Most likely I won’t start until early August. Don’t worry as there’s very little chance of anything happening on these types of trips I’ll be going on. I’ve got six enlisted men out auditing continuously so I’ll pick the nicest, safest trips—Ha! Also saw Ed today. His boss had a meeting in USARV [United States Army, Republic of Vietnam] so he came along, and we had lunch together. He’s fine and [looking] forward to coming home. Will see you the last week in July […]. Gee, tomorrow is Friday but by working Saturday & Sunday, tomorrow will have little meaning. Love you. Well, take care. Love you. Have yet to get a letter but hope to tomorrow. Smile honey because I love you!! Jim—Kiss the boys.

11 July (9:45 pm): Hi my love! Got your first letter today and did that ever feel good. No, I have no objections to the name Whiskers—Just remind him that he has a father and not to bite me when I get home. Ha! […] Will have all five auditors in the field tomorrow so will have a quiet day. Also have to process my finance records tomorrow. Will open a checking account as I still have $100 remaining from what I brought over. […] Attended the going away party for [Major] Himmelsbach [the person I replaced]. Again, another unreal part about Vietnam. Here we were grilling steaks and drinking in front of a house trailer (belongs to a GS-14) while you could hear the artillery and see the flares in the distance. I have no control over this war so guess I can’t complain. […] Well, take care, keep the chin high. Tell Jimmy & Mike that daddy is OK (I agree with your idea on the [Vietnam] news). I love them and of course you more and more each day. Smile honey, cause we love each other so much and that love will help the year pass easy. I love you. Jim.

12 July (9:45 pm): Dearest Kathie. Love You! Got letters 2 & 3 this evening. Was sorry to hear about Jimmy’s fall but am now more relieved than ever that the dispensary is near. Tell him he’s a big boy and I’m proud. Also tell both Mike & Jimmy that I’m proud of how they’re being such big helpers around the house. Love You! Gee things have been quiet but just in the last few minutes the mortars have started firing and two medical evacuation helicopters have landed. We’re right next to a big hospital so the wounded from nearby come right here. Still no rocket action anywhere near me. Smile. Love You! […] Visited the Commanding Generals Mess [dining facility] as I advise its financial operations and Wow what a plush place. Another unreal part of Vietnam. Also finally got my finance records processed. Was able to establish a $324.00 S Allotment [savings] once we figured the final pay. Will also be able to open a checking account with $200.00 so am saving for R&R already. […] Well, am running short of things to say except I love and miss you. You’re the only wife for me and I’m so proud of my entire family. Smile cause, I love you! All my love for ever. Jim.

Jim’s Memories: The military pay system allowed service members to establish allotments which were designated for specific purposes, i.e., support dependents, pay recurring bills and for savings. My allotments included one for Kathie’s living expenses and one for savings. The savings plan was called Soldier’s Deposits. All allotments were paid monthly.

14 July (9:45 pm): Well, it’s 9:45 and another day is gone. But at least I’m writing from different surroundings. That’s right, I’m in a permanent room. It’s about half again as big as my other room. With a wall locker, regular bed, chest of drawers and a FULL size […] refrigerator. John [Hampton] took me to the PX this afternoon so the frig is stocked with [soda and whiskey]. Tell Al I get [[…] a Quart for $1.80. Haven’t had anything tonight as today was pill [for malaria] day and am a little loose tonight. Love You! […] No mail again today. Hope Jimmy is doing OK. Will probably get three tomorrow. Have you had luck with swimming lessons? Well, one week is gone. Somehow it will pass and we both know that as each day passes our love grows stronger. Give my love to the boys. Pat Whiskers and remember I love you. Jim

18 July (7:10 am): Speaking of trips, I’ve decided my first trip [will be] next week. We have to audit all the funds of the 9th Infantry Division Dong Tam [in the Delta] so will take the whole crew down there the middle of next week. […] Gee another Friday. Must admit the last week went quickly but in another way it seems like I’ve been here all my life. Am happy to hear you and the kids are staying busy. Don’t worry about the boys as they’ll settle down and as long as you keep them busy things will go OK. Love You! Well, take care, it’s time for the workday to start. I’m really proud of my wife and family. Remember I told you, you could do it and now you’re proving it. Keep that chin up and remember, I love you. Jim.

Kathie’s Memories: After Jim left, the boys kept thinking he’d be coming home soon. At their ages, they didn’t understand how long a year is. They did okay but were kind of lost. That period was no vacation but a time of discovering a new way for us three to live without Jim.

19 July (7:00 am): Dearest Kathie. Gee it’s Saturday which means a week is about gone. When I stop and think of how long there’s left, I get that lost feeling so just force it from my mind and keep working. Love and miss you so much. Change One! Don’t worry about me going down to the 9th Infantry Division. I’m going to be tied up in a big audit of the Central F&AO [Central Finance and Accounting Office] and this will prevent my trip. […] Yesterday was a little slower than usual so started to drag towards the end. Got my first haircut and what an experience (had nothing cut off the top—Ha). Got my hair cut (40 cents) then asked for a shampoo (25 cents). Before the little SOB let me out of the chair, he’d run the bill to $1.25 for head rub, etc. etc. A lesson learned, just get your haircut period. Was sort of funny. […] Will definitely get a tape out this weekend. Feel bad about [it]. Just haven’t been in the room long enough to get started. Want to talk to the kids about how long I’ll be gone. Hope that will help them understand. Tell Mike I’m depending on him to be a great big help and love and miss both of them very much. Their pictures are on my desk at work so I’m watching them all the time. […] Love you so much. Keep going strong as I’m convinced that is going to be the only way this year will pass. Love you wife. Jim

20 July (8:00 am): Dearest Kathie, […] Don’t know what happened yet but it sure sounded like the war returned this morning. Everyone said it must be Bien Hoa, but wherever it was, things were really booming for over an hour. Bien Hoa is some six miles away, but my room shook, and it woke up my neighbor. Am sure I’ll have no questions if they start landing close. Ha! […] Was right about the letter situation yesterday—None. But am sure things will pick up. Love You! Tell the kids I love them and miss them and want to hear how good big boys they are. Have you been keeping up with your expenses? Will be interested to know if your money will hold out OK for the month. Glad to hear you’ve decided to start sewing. Will you be able to get the machine fixed? Glad Whiskers is turning out OK. That means a lot to me. Well, work is calling so will close for now, Love you so much. Jim

23 July (8:00 am): Dearest Kathie. Isn’t that something about them landing on the Moon. Got to watch it on television. They flew the films in from the Philippines and we saw it on TV about eight hours after they landed. […] I finally broke away [from the party] to listen to your tape. It was great to hear everyone’s voice but sad also. Another thing we’ll have to get used to. Love you so much. […] Finished our audit of the Central F&AO. It turned up quite a few areas of interest, but the main purpose was to see if enough facts were present to initiate a criminal investigation on some of the people in the office. The actual audit was a cover up for our search for these facts. Not very good business and I’m glad I’m no longer really involved. Love you. Jim. Kiss the boys. Tell them I love them—Smile!

23 July (Wednesday night): Dearest Kathie! Hi my love! Well by the time you read this, I’ll be back from my first trip. That’s right, plans have changed again, and I leave in the morning for Dong Tam and the 9th Infantry Division. This special audit [Central F&AO] is about over and the 9th presents an ideal chance for me to see the whole group in action at one time. Will take the entire crew and hope to finish in about 3 days. We’re flying down by helicopter at 7:15 in the morning. It’s about a 40-minute ride and think Dong Tam is about 30 miles south of Saigon. It’s not on the map, as it was created by the Americans, like Long Binh was. Talked to [LTC Jim] Enloe this afternoon and he says things have been quiet for the last few days. Must confess, I’m a little leery but it’s my job and I have to do it. Know it won’t be bad once it starts. Love You. Borrowed [Bill] Walker’s .45 pistol for the trip so I won’t be exactly naked. Guess who else I talked to today. LTC William Holwick [my boss in Berlin, Germany]. He’s with III Corp MACV (Military Assistance Advisory Group) at Ben Hoa. Says he’ll stop by when he gets in Long Binh. It’s a small world. […] Well baby don’t worry, and smile cause I’m back in Long Binh as you read this. Give Mike & Jimmy a big kiss. Love you wife. Jim—Smile.

Jim’s Memories: The Internal Review division was organized into two branches. I headed up the Non-Appropriated funds audit branch and Bill Walker was the head of the Appropriated funds audit branch. LTC Dyson was the division chief.

Kathie’s Memories: I remember Jim telling me he wouldn’t be flying around. I was not happy about him doing it, but I knew it was part of him job. I couldn’t not worry.

26 July (9:00 am): Dearest Kathie, See, I told you I’d be back before you knew I was gone. Love You! Actually, I made it back yesterday afternoon at 2 pm so was gone around 30 hours. It was quite an experience and I’ll tell you all the details in my next tape. Did spend the evening with Jim Enloe and had a very nice visit. He is doing well. They bought a house and guess everything is settled. Also took a roll of film—mostly on the helicopter rides and will send them on as I did the other ones. The best part about [traveling] is coming back and getting all the mail. Got the package plus three letters and one from the folks. Tell the kids I really like their pictures and will hang them in the room. Your card was excellent—Ha! Love You. Was happy to hear things went well at the reunion and also glad to hear that you and Gloria are close again. Have you seen any more of the Clausers? Will get a note off to the Ronan’s this morning. Only hope it makes it in time. […] Yes! I think the job sounds good but before you give a firm yes, shop around locally and see. Maybe you can get something closer with better working conditions. Do it now so you’ll know what the story is. Will talk more on the tape. Love you! Am sorry for Jimmy, guess [he’s] starting to look like Mike with all of his bike battle scars. Was really pleased with the sound of your letters. Am happy to see that you’re happy and busy. I always knew you could do [it] and now you’re proving it to yourself. Will talk to you more tonight on a tape. Love you, and remember wife—you’re the only woman for me!! Love you so much, Jim—Smile

30 July (7:00 am): Dearest Kathie, Hi my Love! Well July is almost gone but is still hanging in there. Gee August will look good. Got your tape yesterday and it came thru unharmed. You can tell your mailman that tapes go free from here as well as letters. Love You. Was happy to hear the kids. It still took some coaching, but I can tell the improvement over the first tape. Tell them they’re doing a good job and I’m glad they enjoy Bible school. You take your time deciding on the Church[es] but I’m in full agreement if you think the Lutheran Church is OK. Was also happy to see how our thoughts on the job offer were together. So, another example of how we think together and love each other, even 7,000 miles apart. […] Well, it’s rapidly approaching 7:30 so will stop for now. Take care lover and remember I’m really proud of my wife and family. Love you so much. Jim—Smile

30 July (9:00 pm): Dearest Kathie, […] Started another roll [of film] today and was hoping to get a picture of President Nixon. He stopped this afternoon at the 24th Evac Hospital and John and I spent about an hour waiting for him. But ran out of time and left. Needless to say, he came about fifteen minutes after we left. Probably wouldn’t have gotten a good picture as the MPs had the place blocked off and from where I was, I could just see the place thru the telephoto lens. Love You. […] Stopped by my room and paid my mamason [my housekeeper] for her labors. Gave her 500 piasters for a little over 2 weeks [of] work. Don’t know if she was