Conrad Curlew Makes a Newspaper

By Keegan Peace

Disaster has struck the small Australian town of Gurumba Bigi! When Conrad Curlew arrived early at the community barbeque, he had no idea what shocking events were about to happen. Armed with a paper and pencil, it's now up to Conrad to report the 'true' story to the town. Or face the dire consequences! From educator Keegan Peace comes this thri

• Language: English
• Publisher: Keegan Peace
• Release date: Dec 28, 2021
• ISBN: 9780646854090

Book preview

Chapter 1

What Is A Curlew?

The barbeque at Gurumba Bigi was an absolute disaster.

Plates of sausages went soaring through the air and smacked Winston Wombat in the face.

They were each like tiny meat missiles! Missiles that made Darlene Dingo and her mob all pounce forward onto the poor creature. They were all just desperate for a feed, and Winston would be washing the dog slobber off of his fur for weeks.

The sandwiches were smacked sideways and scattered through the red dirt, making them look less like salad sangas and more like bits of cheesy bread. Only this cheese was a bit dustier than the kind from your local supermarket.

Three buckets of peach tea rolled down the hill and crashed into the car of Mayor Magpie.

Fiddlesticks! cawed the Mayor, his beak chattering and his wings extended, my motorcade! Oh, the animality of it!

Mammals and reptiles alike scattered to avoid the wrath of the magpie, and the ridiculous amount of falling food that was still splattering around the place. It was chaos on the hill.

Don’t worry, the Dingo family gobbled up all the waste.

But who was responsible for this? How did a lovely picnic in the park turn into a fiasco of such epic proportions? The answer lay with one curious creature who came alone with his note pad and pen. An animal who now stood very silently in the middle of the nightmare watching it all.

Conrad Curlew.

Conrad was a bird. He was like most of his species. He had wings, he had a beak, he had legs and he loved to squawk to himself.

He was almost 60cm tall and had white and grey feathers. What was most unique about him were his huge yellow eyes that almost never blinked.

Conrad saw everything, and everybody hated it.

To make matters worse, he always preferred not to fly. That was a trait everybody loved in a bird. So, naturally, Conrad didn’t share it.

He was an odd Australian animal, and certainly not one you’d see sold in a gift shop if they made stuffed toys of all the citizens here. But, Conrad did usually mean well. He could sometimes get his words mixed up, but he always thought he tried his best. He didn’t have any friends to show for it, but he often told himself that wasn’t his fault. His beak was just always a little too sticky. That was all.

So, why was this catastrophe his fault?

The answer is complicated.

Conrad arrived at the Gurumba Bigi barbeque over an hour before anybody else. He decided it would be a good idea, because then he wouldn’t miss out on seeing anything or anyone. He brought his note pad and pen, and he found a nice spot to sit. It was the usual park bench by the barbeque area, a common nesting ground for Conrad. He had walked from his nest in Nettle Lane, trotted along the beach and marched up the hill to the edge of the town they all loved - Gurumba Bigi. A total walk of about half-an-hour. It was true dedication to being early. But, as his Dad always told him, punctuality is always the priority.

At the bench he sat for another thirty minutes until the first citizens turned up. None from Nettle Lane, but plenty from the surrounding suburbs. First up was the Wombats. The family of four all trudged up the hill at a slow but steady pace.

Winston was a portly brown wombat, with beady little eyes and a very slow way of talking.

Good morning, Conrad. He murmured, blinking slowly only once.

Mornin’ mornin’, Winston. How are you today? Conrad squawked, much faster than Winston in his way of speaking.

Winston shuffled on his four paws,

Been better. Been…better. How are you today?

Conrad frowned,

You’ve already said that.

This was Conrad’s problem. He had no patience for this sort of thing. Winston would always repeat himself over and over, never asking any questions after his first. He repeated,

How are you today?

This went on for a few very slow minutes, until finally more animals turned up to the barbeque area.

Beautiful weather! Kevin Kangaroo hopped in. His arrival finally ended the conversation between Winston and Conrad. The curlew had been getting his feathers riled up as Winston again asked him the same ‘how are you today?’ for what might have been the ninth time in a row.

The wombat slowly turned over to greet the new animal.

Hello Kevin, how are you today? Winston mumbled.

Don’t answer that. Conrad replied, I’ve been asked how my day is for what seems like all day!

Kevin looked disappointed. He frowned at Conrad,

Don’t be like that, Mr. Curlew. We all know what wombats are like.

Conrad felt embarrassed. Kevin Kangaroo was a very intelligent fauna here in Gurumba Bigi. He could speak three languages, he had rented and read every book in the library at least once and to top it all off he was one of the only animals that wore glasses. To Conrad, that meant he had to be smart.

Yes. Yes. I should have known better. Conrad mumbled through his gritted beak.

Kevin hopped over to the bench and gave Conrad a pat on his wing.

It’s ok, Conrad. Everybody makes mistakes.

Conrad murmured in agreement, but still was feeling embarrassed.

Yeah, I suppose so.

Winston, who was just staring blankly through his beady eyes at nothing at all until now, had suddenly taken an interest at something upon the horizon. Kevin noticed it too, his fluffy brown ears perking up at the sound.

It’s the mayor. Conrad said, I can see his motorcade coming up the hill.

Kevin nodded in agreement, You see everything, don’t you?

Mayor Magpie snapped his feathers as he exited his shiny black car. As soon as his click made a sound, three magpie bodyguards waddled over in sunglasses and suits from the other cars and motorcycles.

Let’s get this community event going!

Mayor Magpie had a loud, shrill squawk. His black and white pattern was elegant, and his beak was as sharp as a knife. He always gave off the impression that he was in control and ready to swoop at any moment.

We have over nine families coming, and all of them are enrolled to vote in the next local election.

The bodyguards didn’t have to hear any more than that. Within moments, they were unpacking casks of peach tea, setting up tables, wiping down the barbeques and ripping open packets of sausages. Conrad, who never missed a thing, saw one of the biggest magpies strapping on an apron that read ‘Kiss the Cook’.

By the time the sun was beginning to set, everyone had arrived. Dingoes, koalas, more wombats, quokkas and wallabies. They all gathered around the tables for a yarn. Conrad sat alone at the same bench he had been at for almost an hour.

Must be nice. Conrad thought. To have a community.

Conrad had never fit in with any of the locals. He wasn’t sure if it was because he was the only curlew in the town, or if it was because he was always stirring people up with his personality. Whatever it was, it was the reason that nobody was talking to him now that there was a crowd. Conrad knew that. It didn’t really bother him all that much.

Attention! Caw caw! the Mayor was tapping a glass with his beak, dinging for the eyes and ears of the crowd. The dingoes stopped their barking, and the koalas froze still on the play equipment. All eyes that were