The Real Self Love Handbook: A Proven 5-Step Process to Liberate Your Authentic Self, Build Resilience and Live an Epic Life

By Andrea Pennington and Karena Virginia

Self awareness is a fundamental principle in changing your mindset and loving yourself, especially when years of therapy, antidepressants and self-help books fall short.

As a functional depressive, Dr. Andrea Pennington enjoyed a high powered media career with all the outer appearances of success. B

• Language: English
• Publisher: Make Your Mark Global
• Release date: Oct 10, 2019
• ISBN: 9780999494950

Andrea Pennington

Dr. Andrea Pennington is an integrative physician, acupuncturist, meditation teacher, #1 international bestselling author and TEDx speaker who has provided holistic health education for over twenty years. As Founder of In8Vitality she combines her extensive medical expertise and training in trauma recovery with her experience in Traditional Chinese Medicine and acupuncture, to help people to build resilience, reclaim vitality, and thrive despite the inevitable trauma and drama life brings. As a sought-after media personality Dr. Andrea has shared her empowering insights on holistic healing and resilience on the Oprah Winfrey Show, the Dr. Oz Show, iTV This Morning, CNN, the Today Show, LUXE-TV, Thrive Global and HuffingtonPost and as a news anchor for Discovery Health Channel. Dr. Andrea facilitates a variety of workshops around the world which promote holistic healing, resilience, trauma recovery and self-love using trauma-informed positive psychology, The Attunement Meditation, yoga, breath work, brainwave training with EEG Neurofeedback, and sacred plant medicine ceremonies with qualified shamans. Dr. Andrea's latest book, The Real Self Love Handbook, includes her proven 5-step framework, The Cornerstone Process, which she has taught around the world to guide people on a journey of Conscious Evolution. This framework provides a process for self-guided or group-led recovery from developmental trauma and adverse childhood experiences, building resilience, and integrating insights gleaned from sacred ceremonies, psychotherapy and self-help work. As a form of narrative therapy, Dr. Andrea created Stories with Soul, a comprehensive LifeWriting program to give you the power to heal your inner child, reprogram your subconscious mind, transform from victim to hero and rewrite your life story.

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The Real Self Love Handbook

A Proven 5-Step Process to Liberate Your Authentic Self, Build Resilience and

Live an Epic Life

______________

Andrea Pennington, MD, C. Ac.

Founder of the Real Self Love Movement

Foreword by Karena Virginia

MAKE YOUR MARK GLOBAL PUBLISHING, LTD

USA & Monaco

The Real Self Love Handbook © 2019 Andrea Pennington, MD, C. Ac.

Published by Make Your Mark Global Publishing, LTD

The purpose of this book is not to give medical advice, nor to give a prescription for the use of any technique as a form of treatment for any physical, medical, psychological, or emotional condition. The information in this book does not replace the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. It is intended only as general information and education. In the event that you use any of the information in this book for yourself, as is your constitutional right, the author and publisher assume no responsibility for your actions. No expressed or implied guarantee of the effect of use of any of the recommendations can be given. The author and publisher are not liable or responsible for any loss or damage allegedly arising from any information in this book. All of the names and details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in, or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the copyright owner.

The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or any other means without the permission of the publisher is illegal and punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electronic editions and do not participate in or encourage any electronic piracy of copyrightable materials. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated. And karma will get you if you violate this anyway!

While the author has made every effort to provide accurate information regarding references and Internet addresses at the time of publication, the author does not assume responsibility for errors or changes that occur after publication. The author also does not assume any responsibility for third-party websites and/or their content.

Book cover design: Andrea Danon & Stefan Komljenović of Art Biro Network www.artbiro.ba

Cover photo Copyright 2019 In Her Image Photography www.InHerImagePhoto.com

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Library of Congress Control Number: 2017917382

The Real Self Love Handbook

Publisher: Make Your Mark Global, LTD

Fernley, Nevada

Trade Paperback ISBN 978-0-9994949-8-1

Hardcover ISBN 978-1-7341526-0-9

Ebook ISBN 978-0-9994949-5-0

Subjects: Psychology

Summary: As a functional depressive, Dr. Andrea Pennington enjoyed a high powered media career with all the outer appearances of success. But she was miserable inside. After years of battling ‘Imposter Syndrome’ and constantly striving for perfection, a spiritual awakening prompted her to break free and live as her Authentic Self. After more than a decade of research and experience with her patients, a 5-step self-discovery framework emerged called The Cornerstone Process. The Real Self Love Handbook outlines this process and includes the latest research from positive psychology, neuroscience, mindfulness meditation, energy psychology, compassion practices and life planning.

MAKE YOUR MARK GLOBAL PUBLISHING, LTD

USA

The Real Self Love Handbook © 2019 Andrea Pennington

For information on bulk purchase orders of this book or to book Dr. Andrea to speak at your event or on your program, call [phone] or send an email to [e-mail]

Praise for The Real Self Love Handbook

With a level of vulnerability and authenticity that is both refreshing and rare, Dr. Andrea shares a beautiful story of listening to one’s own heart. A must-read for anyone on spiritual and purpose-driven paths.

— Mike Dow, Psy.D., Ph.D.

NY Times bestselling author, Heal Your Drained Brain

www.DrMikeDow.com

Self-love is not a cure in the same sense as a pill or a detox. Rather it is our original factory setting to be restored. I’m delighted that a fellow physician is addressing this in the public eye, giving more weight to what we have known deep down for years. Health and happiness starts from within.

— Mark Hyman,

MD #1 New York Times Bestselling Author of

Food: What the Heck Should I Eat?

and Director, Cleveland Clinic Center for Functional Medicine

If you ever felt the concept of ‘real self love’ sounded sweet but a tad selfish, read this book. If you ever felt trapped in a vicious cycle of negative life situations and negative moods, read this book. Not only is Dr Andrea a formidable story teller sharing relatable life lessons openly and helpfully, she is also a medical professional who has studied both western medical modalities as well as eastern traditions. The result of her ‘life well-lived’ is a brilliant handbook that brings the full power of ‘self-love’ to the forefront for anyone eager to improve their life in all ways. Far from a selfish pursuit, ‘real self-love’ promises to be the answer to unlock the full potential of who we are.

— Bruce Cryer, Former CEO, HeartMath,

Co-author, From Chaos to Coherence:

The Power to Change Performance, Founder,

Renaissance Human, Adjunct faculty, Stanford University

"Before even reading this book, I literally wrote to Andrea asking ‘Have you ever experienced total bliss, then completely had the worst low ever?’ I didn’t realize those were some of her EXACT words in her own story. This book is absolutely incredible….it feels as if she climbed inside of my body, mind, and soul, and IS me.

I feel Andrea opens up the conversation to people to truly be seen and heard and acknowledged to a degree that they’ve never felt before but always desired, and that each and every person that reads this will have that same experience I had….a literal take your breath away feeling of finally being understood, and not alone. It is truly amazing and an honor to witness her vulnerability."

— Dr. Juicy Jill Stocker

Co-author, Time to Rise

www.JillStocker.com

"In this beautiful book is an amazing manual for a greater life of well-being. Dr. Andrea delivers the strong message of Love and addresses the urgency and responsibility for us as individuals to take better care of ourselves. Once you have adapted these simple steps that Andrea offers towards self-love, the effect will not only change your life but also affect the people around you and will spiral onwards to your whole community. Her deep wisdom and insights shine through the entire book and leave you inspired to make a difference in this world starting with your own transformation.

I am grateful that we have such strong, empowering individuals like Andrea who is willing to share her whole story, with no parts left out, were we get to mirror ourselves also in the vulnerable sides of it and get at the same time get the right tools to grow from it.

From the bottom of my heart I encourage you to become the best version of yourself and adapt Andrea’s 5 Cornerstones of Real Self-love."

— Sólveig Þórarinsdóttir

Yogi, Author, Founder of Solir Yoga Studio and #LoveWarrior

www.LoveWarrior.is

What an amazing gift this book is for everyone who will be reading it. No matter how far you are on your journey of inner work, fulfilling your purpose and making difference in the world I am confident this book will give you new insights and inspiration as well as practical down to earth guidance and healing. Reading the book it I could feel Dr Andrea talking to me, sharing her amazing journey with me to guide me on my journey as well. The book carries the richness, the depth, the width of knowledge as well the joy, playfulness and child-like openness and wondering that Andrea embodies. And she is very much spot on: Before we want to serve others and the world we need to discover, live and love who we truly are.

— Bea Benkova, Founder and CEO of

The Global Institute for Extraordinary Women

"If you’ve been on your path to letting go of stress, anxiety and depression be sure you read this. It is the end of your search. The answers lie in these pages.

It is so rare to read such an inspiring book. No matter who you are these feelings can affect us all. The love, dedication and true passion for transformation that Andrea shares is seen in every inch of this book. It gives me goosebumps just to read it!"

— Yvette Taylor

Creator of The Energy Alignment Method

Transformational Mentor Speaker & Author

www.EnergyAlignmentMethod.com

Dr. Andrea Pennington has once again written from the heart on what matters most—being our authentic selves--as we commit ourselves to be the change we wish to see in the world. In The Real Self Love Handbook, Dr. Andrea Pennington brings real-life moments to the page illustrating how to overcome the darkest of times, including depression, anger, and self-loathing, bringing joy and light into life's issues and challenges. Pennington awakens a heightened sense of empowerment and understanding that we can be uplifted out of darkness and into the light of our true authentic selves.

— Missy Crutchfield

Co-Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Gandhi's Be Magazine

www.BeMagazine.org

You want to know who your Authentic Self is? A Writer must write, Painter must paint, Dancer must dance... In this book are practical ways to help you through your journey to your Authentic Self. Dr. Andrea shows us through her vulnerability and courage how we can learn self-love, self-compassion, and to take responsibility for our precious Life. Encouraging, inspiring, and Life-Changing!!

— Trevor Hahn

Advocate for The National Suicide Prevention Line

Hotline: [phone]

www.RescueMeAsap.org

After doing the hard, but well-needed work to say I Love You, Me!, Dr. Andrea Pennington is more than qualified and capable to empower men and women to learn, accept, live, and love their original self. I can say this because her writing has delivered me into the sole purpose of living my true identity. This book is strategically put together to walk you through step-by-step the process of releasing the imposter you" and living as the real you.

It is my prayer and hope that as you read this greatly needed book you will discover the essence of your identity and be response-able to cultivate, nurture, and appreciate the true authentic you."

— Dr. Janet L. Anthony

Co-author, Time to Rise

Andrea Pennington’s heart and dedication shine through every page and make the love she writes about very real to us as her readers. This profound yet practical book is showing an actual path to the true love that we've all been missing. And then a way to create the life that we will love as well!

— Halina Goldstein

Spiritual mentor, speaker, teacher at HalinaGold.com and Founder of the Joy Keepers Network

"I believe some of us are here to experience, to learn and to bring a message to the world that sometimes, just sometimes, science alone does not hold every answer. Sometimes there’s a middle ground between that which we can explain and the ‘other’ - Andrea might call it the ‘woo woo factor’, I might (to positively reclaim a phrase once use disparagingly) call #HippyShit.

‘The Real Self Love Handbook’ carries plenty of practical exercises to satisfy the brain, lots of spirituality and faith to satisfy the heart and enough soul-deep, personal anecdotes from Andrea to take the reader by the hand and guide them through a safe, trusted and life-changing journey of positive transformation.

By giving so much of herself in this book, Dr. Andrea Pennington has made it entirely possible for readers to trust, let go and emerge with a new sense of self, purpose and clarity.

A power-full book of beauty, truth and possibilities.

Thank you, Andrea, for all that you bring to the world - not least with this book."

—Taz Thornton, inspirational speaker, best selling author

Founder of the #UnleashYourAwesome personal development movement & #BrandMastery Programme

www.TazThornton.com

"I resonated with ‘The Real Self Love Handbook’ on so many levels… We often hear how important it is to ‘love yourself’ and put yourself first, yet what is often missing is the ‘How to!’ and this book is full of very useful and practical techniques that are extremely easy to implement to help shift the stuck energy that can block our natural flow.

Through embracing her own authenticity and vulnerability, Andrea connects with the reader on a deep soul level as she candidly shares her own soul's journey to Acceptance & Self Love. This book is an invitation to love the most important person in your life - YOU - so honour yourself and make the time to devour each page, you will be delighted that you did, I certainly was."

— Jo Simpson, Founder of The Values Discovery Process,

Executive Coach, Speaker and

Author of The Restless Executive

"It could've been me! That's the feeling Andrea leaves me with all the time. And ‘The Real Self Love Handbook’ is no exception. I connect to Andrea and her writing because it is honest, it is open and it is courageous. And that's exactly the kind of mirror that helps me move forward in my own life. Tell me I'm not alone, tell me I'm not a freak and give me some tools to take it to the next level, baby!

If you are looking for fluff and hot air blown…somewhere, you've come to the wrong place. Andrea shares her candid, honest wisdom with us and for that, I truly am grateful."

— Helene Philipsen

Life Transformation Specialist

Creator of The Freedom from Emotional Eating Program

www.HelenePhilipsen.com

Also by Andrea Pennington

The Orgasm Prescription for Women: 21 Days to Heightened Pleasure, Deeper Intimacy and Orgasmic Bliss

How to Liberate and Love Your Authentic Self

The Top 10 Traits of Highly Resilient People

Daily Compassion Meditation: 21 Guided Meditations,

Quotes and Images to Inspire Love, Joy and Peace

The Pennington Plan: 5 Simple Steps to Vibrant Health,

Emotional Wellbeing and Spiritual Growth

Eat to Live: Protect Your Body + Brain + Beauty with Food

The Pennington Plan for Weight Success:

5 Steps to Permanent Weight Loss

Co-authored by Andrea Pennington

Magic and Miracles

Life After Trauma

Heart to Heart: The Path to Wellness

Resilience Through Yoga and Meditation

DEDICATION

This book is lovingly dedicated to my daughter, Siena.

May you always know how precious and lovable you are.

May you continuously share your ‘comic gold’ and

unique character with zest.

You are truly the greatest gift to my life.

And to the longtime friend and supporter who saw the real me

and loved me unconditionally, even when I didn’t love myself,

your continued presence in my life speaks volumes.

CONTENTS

Acknowledgements

My Invitation to You

Foreword

Introduction

The Cornerstone Process

Part I: Awaken: Learn Who You Really Are

The Cornerstone Process Step 1 — Awareness

1: Discover the Real You

2: How the Programmed You and Real You Appear In Your Life

Part II: Transform: Love Who You Are

The Cornerstone Process Step 2 — Acceptance

3: Become Mindfully Aware of Your Human Tendencies

4: Heal Your Wounds & Reclaim Your Perfection

Part III: Thrive: Live Who You Are

The Cornerstone Process Step 3 — Accountability

5: Take Accountability for Your New Life

6: Master Your Energy & Emotions

The Attunement MeditationTM

The Cornerstone Process Step 4 — Inspired Action

7: Architect Your Diamond Life

The Cornerstone Process Step 5 — Appreciation

Practice Gratitude

Conclusion

About the Author

Other Books Published by Make Your Mark Global

Get Published Share Your Message with the World

Acknowledgements

To my mother and father, whose instruction along the bumpy journey toward knowing and accepting myself has not always been obvious, but is sincerely appreciated.

I am truly grateful for the guidance, inspiration and loving support I receive from my clients, online community, family and friends on a daily basis. You all mean the world to me and make my ‘job’ feel like play!

I especially want to thank Janet Anthony, PhD who nudged, pleaded and urged me to get this book out to the world. I appreciate your lack of patience, for now this work can truly transform more lives. Thank you!

To Sister Jenna, who encouraged me to come out of my ‘meditation cave’ to be a force for good in the world, I appreciate your spiritual mentorship immensely.

Sincere thanks to Sólveig Þórarinsdóttir, Yvette Taylor and Deri Llewellyn-Davies, for entrusting me with your transformative programs, which I proudly share in this book and with everyone I meet. Your contributions to the world make an incredible difference and I’m honored to spread your messages globally.

I truly value the connection, inspiration and insights provided by my dear and wise colleagues Rúna Magnus, Gegga Birgis, Karena Virginia, Bitte Wiese, Gitte Winter Graugaard, Helene Philipsen, Halina Goldstein, Helen Rebello, Kitty Waters, Jo Simpson, Taz Thornton, Malin Hedlund, Willow McIntosh, Ofkje Teekens, Rob Goddard, Jill Stocker, Alexsa Covelli, Trevor Hahn and Nick Haines. You are all very precious to me!

F:\Work\Dreahp new\Slike\image3.png

My Invitation to You

I welcome you, dear reader, to join our global community of heart-centered, soul-inspired, conscious change makers at www.RealSelf.love

We are committed to supporting, inspiring and empowering one another on our collective mission to heal holistically, love wholeheartedly and live authentically.

Feeling social?

Join our private Facebook group at:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/RealSelfLoveMovement/

Foreword

Childhood can ignite magic. Childhood can ignite fear. As we grow into our adult lives, we are given the choice of which emotion to feed. It is easier for us to feed the magic if we grew up being accepted and celebrated for living into the brilliance of our destiny. However, if we were scolded for being too loud, dramatic or effervescent we may need a healing transformation of old belief systems and energy imprints in order to thrive into our adult years.

I was born in New York City in the early 1970’s. Both my mother and father moved to America from England and Italy in the late 1960’s. They met and fell madly in love. My father spoke only Italian until my British mother taught him to speak English. My father was bigger than life. He loved in a very deep and profound way. Somehow he was able to live his life in complete generosity even after growing up in Rome, Italy in a very poor family. He passed away in his sixties and everyday we miss him. I often wonder if his heart was too big for his physical landscape. Could his soul have been too vast for this world?

Mom is very proper. She is quite precious and delicate. Yet, she is also so very strong. She grew up during World War 2 where the fear of assault was present every day. However, she still emphasizes the importance of having good manners and being polite to the neighbors. Mom is a spiritual warrior and a benevolent volunteer all in one. With her British etiquette it is a bit uncomfortable for her to bring attention to the self by disrupting anything or anyone. So her warrior side is very quiet, but we know that warrior of love, light and empowerment lives inside mom. Sometimes the warrior hides in humility.

And she has me as her middle daughter.

I was born to create change. I had so much to say and such profound wisdom from the angels as a child. I used to sit with them and ask them why it was so hard being me. Why is everyone so different? Why do I feel and know things before they are revealed to the rest of the world? They used to tell me I was simply one of them. Only I was here and they were there.

When I was twelve I wanted to be with them so I prayed to get sick. It wasn’t that my family did not love me, and it wasn’t that I was abandoned or betrayed. It was the rejection and misunderstanding from being an empath in a world full of intellect. Having a destiny to shine so brightly that I would shine far and away scared me. Being connected to the mainstream was my only survival. So I faked enjoying cartoons. I pretended to read children’s books. Meanwhile, my only focus was on God.

At twelve my prayer was answered and my appendix ruptured. That was my first near death experience. The only way to explain the love that the angels feel for all of us is to think of the love of a mother, multiply it by 100 and then take any of her fear away. Can you imagine the look in those eyes? Can you visualize that miraculous smile?

While spending most of my life playing small in order to fit into a society that often misunderstands empaths, and days varying between truly being me or not feeling worthy enough of being the enigmatic me, I have finally discovered the meaning of true self-love.

Self-love is recognizing that we are all gifts with different resonances, and together we create a beautiful harmony. True self-love is recognizing that we are who we are and that is that. I love me, too. After years of feeling shame for not conforming daily to the systems of society, I have finally made it home. Home is where my heart feels happy by beating tenderly in my body.

Andrea has created such a beautiful system in this amazing book. It is from Andrea’s depth of heart, life experience’s, medical training and profound soul full of spirit that her words flow.

May you find your path to true self-love. May you celebrate your worthiness and may you always remember how very loved you are.

From My Heart, with the tenderness of Love,

Karena Virginia

Spiritual Healer, Author, Empowerment Guru and Yogi

Introduction

Can you look in the mirror and say, I love you, me?

If you can look at yourself and fully accept that you are truly lovable right now, just as you are today — wrinkles, warts and all — then I’m sure you know how wonderful that freedom feels.

If you can’t imagine saying those four words to yourself, stick with me. A few years ago, when I was facing severe depression, I would never have dreamed that I could say — or sing! — those words and mean them, but now I can. I can say them, even on a bad hair day, when I mess up at work, or say the wrong things. And yes, even when trolls criticize me or my content online.

I am here to tell you that you can have the same empowered feeling of freedom and true self-love. And it won’t be difficult either. The Real Self Love Handbook will show you how.

In my first TEDx talk, in 2014, I outlined the 3 keys to manifesting your dreams into reality. After my talk, so many people told me how simple yet profound the message was. Then they asked what to do next. In this book you’ll find my answer. I offer it to help you learn who you really are, love who you really are and live who you really are.

The steps that I