Creaking Timbers: An Urban Dweller's Guide to Life in the Country

By Scott Andrews

The truth is, the average British person moves house only once every 23 years and nowadays we are staying in our homes longer than they did in our parents' generation. So, it’s not surprising that the house-move can be one of the most traumatic experiences that most of us have to take. What’s even more challenging is when the move takes us urban dwellers from our familiar cosmopolitan roots into a place we’ve never experienced before – the countryside. So, this is us – Scott and Rachel – and we have made the life-changing decision to move for the first time away from the familiarities and conveniences of life in the town, to explore a whole new life in a 300-year-old thatched cottage in the middle of a small village, with next to none of the amenities that we normally rely upon for day-to-day living. Wondering what village life will bring, how would we will cope as we left the familiar surroundings of our life as ‘Townies’ behind us? It soon became clear just how unprepared we were for the comical, testing and often heart-warming challenges that lay ahead.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: Nov 30, 2021
• ISBN: 9781398421844

Scott Andrews

Scott is an ‘urban dweller’ who left the noise of a cosmopolitan town in search of the tranquillity of village life. He is an academic and writer based at the University of Worcester in the West Midlands, UK; with a passion for storytelling, which is reflected in his academic work as well as his home life. He is married to Rachel and has four children.

Book preview

Creaking Timbers

An Urban Dweller’s

Guide to Life in the

Country

Scott Andrews

Austin Macauley Publishers

Creaking Timbers

About the Author

Dedication

Copyright Information ©

Acknowledgements

Preface

A Warm Welcome from the Deathwatch Beetles

Road-Kill

Neighbourhood Watch

The Village Club

The Rat

A Fishy Easter Story

Harvest Festival and the Garden

Heritage Value & the Conservation Officer

The Anniversary

Epilogue

About the Author

Scott is an ‘urban dweller’ who left the noise of a cosmopolitan town in search of the tranquillity of village life. He is an academic and writer based at the University of Worcester in the West Midlands, UK; with a passion for storytelling, which is reflected in his academic work as well as his home life. He is married to Rachel and has four children.

Dedication

For Rach and Esme – thank you for your perseverance on the journey.

Copyright Information ©

Scott Andrews 2021

The right of Scott Andrews to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by the author in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

ISBN 9781398422551 (Paperback)

ISBN 9781398421844 (ePub e-book)

www.austinmacauley.com

First Published 2021

Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd®

1 Canada Square

Canary Wharf

London

E14 5AA

Acknowledgements

This book is inspired by the people of The Village – neighbours and friends who have reached out and made us ‘urban dwellers’ so welcome as we settled into our new home. Thanks to Rach, for all the proofreading and ‘SPAG-ing;’ and to Esme, who has shared the journey and has been busy illustrating these chapters.

Preface

Home

Home

"A house is made with walls and beams. A home is made with love and dreams." Source: Ralph Waldo Emerson

Everyone has something to say about home. Home is important. It’s a place of identity, of refuge, of peace, and ultimately it has a lot to say about us – its occupiers. The concept of home is the subject of broad and passionate interest across almost all genres, from music and folklore to literature and law. For example, there are literally hundreds of songs of all musical varieties that draw attention to the significance of the home as a place of safety, security, love, laughter and solace.

As a rather sad 80’s DJ, I remember with some affection that wherever Paul Young laid his hat would be his home, whilst two decades earlier Elvis was singing of home as the place where his heart is, a heart that was also anywhere where his loved one could be found… so much for home being a place to lay down roots. Home and love are commonly connected concepts in popular music and for the band Madness: their house in the middle of their street was a place where ‘there's always something happening’, and where memories were formed recalling ‘such a very good time, such a fine time’ , a place of nostalgic, childhood memories where everyone would’play, simply waste the day away’. Blur’s ‘Country House’ speaks of the city dweller seeking the simple life by escaping to the country. For Phil Collins, it was important to be taken back home, whilst the Mötley Crüe sing of’Home, Sweet Home’ at the end of ‘a long winding road’; the Beatles lamented that’She’s Leaving Home’, whilst the Rolling Stones were ‘20,000 Light Years from Home’. Home and Christmas are commonly connected themes with Chris Rea’driving home for Christmas’ and the Eagles pleading ‘please come home for Christmas’. In Michael Bublé’s ’Home’, he laments about being so far away at Christmas and wanting to be back home.

Home features broadly in classical and contemporary literature too. From Wuthering Heights to Pooh Corner, Castle Dracula to 221b Baker Street, famous fictional homes have been the source of literary plots from romance to intrigue, summertime fun to murder. Enid Blyton’s Kirrin Cottage provided the perfect setting for her famous five. More than just a house, it was their sanctuary, with its many hidden nooks and crannies that challenged the children’s creative imaginations and was always there as a base to return to from their adventures at nearby smugglers’ caves, or on an island, or by a special cove. Likewise, for Gerald Durrell, the Strawberry-Pink Villa in Corfu, provided not only the perfect setting for his biographical tales of childhood drama, but was also the home that provided the essential fresh start that the Durrell family needed as his widowed mother with four children went off in search of a new life for the family.

In Emily Bronte’s ‘Wuthering Heights’, the house is depicted as a dark and bleak place, which presents the perfect setting for a story with a plotline that is highly reflective of the character of the property itself. For some authors, the home takes on a life and character of its own. Tom Easton, the author of the children’s fiction story’Our House’, considers the house, which is home to the central characters of the novel, to be as much a character of the story as the family that inhabit the property.

I’ve heard it said that dog owners and their dogs can take upon themselves similar characteristics, and I wonder if the same can be said for homes and their occupiers. To what degree do our homes define us? This has become the source of many plotlines for those reality TV programmes that venture into the homes of celebrities to unravel mysteries surrounding the secret histories of their owners.

The Irish Novelist George Moore famously stated: "A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it. ; and the American Novelist Joyce Maynard commented that A good home must be made, not bought. The context for our home is important, as Charles Dickens once stated: Charity begins at home, and justice begins next door, so too the home is also the source of solace and a place of care. As Mother Theresa explained: Love begins by taking care of the closest ones, the ones at home. and Confucius once declared: The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home".

So, having made the case for the significance of the home, it therefore stands to reason that, for most of us, a house move is high up on the list along with new births, marriage, redundancy and divorce, as one of the most significant challenges that we might encounter. The home has become a symbol of stability and a base upon which we tend to steady ourselves in times of turbulence; so the upheaval from the stable base to a new home undoubtedly brings with it all sorts of emotional, practical and personal challenges:

‘Will it be cosy?

Will if fit all my belongings and furniture?

Will it be affordable?

Will it be safe?

Will it have nice neighbours?

Will it make me happy?

Will it live up to all my hopes, expectations and dreams?’

The truth is, for most of us, home is important, it’s where we lay down roots, it provides consistency and a place of belonging. And with all these ’wills’ it’s no surprise that it takes a huge act of the will to muster the courage to make such a move.

In order to fulfil my late-teenage mission as an aspiring 80’s mobile DJ, I was the proud owner of a van and then a 10-foot trailer, which were regularly called upon to enable me to shift half a tonne of disco lights and vinyl