The Mystery of the Giant Kohlrabi

By Sharon Plumb

Clementine grabbed Nero's arm as they tiptoed through the dark room. "Do you hear footsteps?"
Nero listened. "That's not footsteps. That's...slurping!"

When Nero and his family go to help their relatives harvest their top-secret, genetically engineered giant vegetables, he knows he'll be sleeping in house made from a pumpkin. He doesn't expect to be given rutabaga pie to eat. Isn't a rutabaga a kind of turnip? Or to find plants with spikes, teeth and swords, or a broccoli-headed alien. He certainly doesn't expect to find a Martian vegetable with a sliding front door, or a plot to destroy the garden with a monstrous weapon hidden beneath the roots.

It's a good thing Nero has his trusty Wonder-Gizmo along. Every time he opens it up he finds something new. It has an arrow, a claw tool with fold-out fingers, night-vision goggles, and a bug zapper. Even a coward can be brave with an awesome gadget like this. Until things go terribly wrong, and Nero has to confront his deepest fears all by himself in order to save the garden and his family from a crawly, slimy fate.

Ages 8-12 with STEM elements of aquifers, garden plants and pests. Comes with Creative Writing ideas for the classroom and a home-tested recipe for Twig's Kohlrabi Chocolate Chip Cookies. Illustrations by Jolyn Michaelis. Perfect for fans of "Bloom" (Kenneth Oppel), "Music for Tigers" (Michelle Kadarusman), "The Astounding Broccoli Boy" (Frank Cottrell Boyce) and "Beetle Boy" (M.G. Leonard).

"A top-secret experiment, a Wonder-Gizmo, and a slimy villain -- this book has all the ingredients! Nero must battle giant veggies with teeth and swords, broccoli-headed aliens, and a host of oddball relatives to solve this mystery. It's the perfect recipe for family fun! All with an actual recipe for healthy chocolate treats thrown in. Who could ask for more?"
~ Marie Powell, author of Last of the Gifted

"I laughed so hard I fell off the couch!"
~ Anne Patton, author of The Barr Colony Adventures

"... a fabulous and fast-paced story with a truly unique setting - a sometimes-sinister world of giant vegetables!"
~ Alison Lohans, award-winning author of over 26 books for young people

Sharon Plumb’s latest book is timely, funny, and—dare I say it?—delicious.
~ Maureen Ulrich, author of the #jessiemachockeyseries

"Silly and sweet. Can't go wrong with giant bugs!"
~ Jolyn Michaelis, Kohlrabi cover artist and illustrator

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sharon Plumb
• Release date: Nov 5, 2021
• ISBN: 9780991879243

Sharon Plumb

Sharon Plumb grew up in a small town that no longer exists, and now she writes stories about places that exist only in her imagination. She enjoys studying plants and insects up close with her USB microscope and meeting people from different places, but not usually at the same time. When she isn’t writing, she likes playing the piano and singing, hiking and biking, planting new things in her garden, and creating recipes. She writes stories, songs and plays from her home in Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada. She tried to grow kohlrabies once but the cabbage butterfly larvae ate giant holes in the leaves. She’s still working on that.

Book preview

Chapter 1: Over the Edge

ROAD IN POOR CONDITION. DO NOT USE WHEN WET.

Nero swiveled his head as the car passed the sign. Uncle Peter should put up a sign. He made his fingers into a rectangle. World’s Largest Fruits and Vegetables: This Way.

Mom took one hand off the steering wheel and slapped a mosquito on her arm. She glanced over her shoulder at him. I told you. The plants are top-secret. If word got out, the farm would be swamped by reporters and scientists wanting tours.

Not if they had to find it first, muttered Dad. He flicked open the map Aunt Lotta had sent.

Nero clicked open his seatbelt and leaned forward so he could see the map over Dad’s shoulder. The orange splotch was the pumpkin house. Around it were two gray lines, a long squiggle, and an arrow.

No wonder they were lost.

Are you sure this is the right road? he asked.

Dad turned the map sideways. We took the third grid road after the dead tree and turned north where the old church used to be. It has to be right.

Mom slammed on the brake. Nero slammed into the back of Dad’s seat.

Sorry, she said. Hole in the road.

The road sign wasn’t kidding. Nero sat back and clicked in his seatbelt while the car crawled forward.

Can’t you text them for better directions? asked his younger sister, Clementine, in the seat beside him.

Mom drove around the hole in the road while Dad poked at his phone. A bead of sweat rolled off his bald spot. No service, he said. He dropped the phone into his shirt pocket.

Nero sighed and watched the fields roll by. So much for we’ll be there in no time. It was sweltering inside the car. If there weren’t so many brainless grasshoppers bouncing off his window, he would have it open like Clementine’s.

His best friend Leon had laughed himself silly when Nero said his family was going to spend the summer helping his relatives pick vegetables. Leon’s family was going zip-lining in the mountains. But helping out on the farm would be okay. His cousins were awesome, or at least Twig was. Fern…well, she could hang out with Clementine.

If they ever found the farm. Nothing out there matched the chicken scratch on Aunt Lotta’s map. All Nero could see was flat fields, flat rows of trees, flat horizon, and a flattened grasshopper stuck between the window and the car door. Better do something about that before its head broke off and landed on him.

He pulled his Wonder-Gizmo out of his pocket and started unfolding the tools. It was an awesome gadget. Every time he opened it he found something new. Mirror, compass, whistle; tweezers, toothpick, chopstick, he muttered. He could push the grasshopper out with the chopstick, but he might need to eat with it sometime.

Clementine pulled her hand inside the car. Look! I caught a dragonfly.

Nero didn’t look. Toenail clipper, nose hair clipper, sheep shearer, bug zapper.

Bug zapper! That’s mean.

Nero gave an evil laugh. When one of Uncle Peter’s giant mosquitoes comes to suck your blood, you’ll beg me for it.

Uncle Peter doesn’t have giant mosquitoes, only giant vegetables. Clementine made a cage with both hands. Her blonde hair hung like curtains as she bent forward. Don’t worry about him, she whispered to her dragonfly. I’ll protect you.

Nero unfolded a detachable arrow. Perfect. He opened the window a crack. Trying not to look at the grasshopper’s alien face, he nudged it away. It dangled by one leg for a moment, then slid down the outside of the window, leaving a yellow smear on the glass. Nero shuddered.

ROAD IN POOR CONDITION. DO NOT USE WHEN DRY.

So when could you use it—in a blizzard? Nero shook his head and folded the arrow and the other pieces back into his Wonder-Gizmo. Time for an Adventure, it said on the handle. Hmm. An adventure…ignoring ridiculous road signs. An adventure…getting lost in the barren prairie where all the trees in the next field were dead.

Where did you get that gadget anyway? Clementine asked.

I won it at wilderness camp.

Clementine snickered. You?

Yes, me. Nero put it in his pocket and turned his head toward his own window so she wouldn’t ask any more questions.

They passed the dead trees, crossed a dirt road and came to another, very dusty, sign.

ROAD IN POOR CONDITION. DO NOT USE

A round, splintery hole cut off the rest of the words. It looked like something had taken a bite out of it. Weird. What ate wooden signs?

Nero jerked upright. What’s that whining sound?

Giant mosquito. Get the bug zapper! cried Clementine.

Swerve! cried Dad.

A silver semi barreled down the middle of the road straight toward them.

Mom jerked the steering wheel. Nero’s seatbelt yanked on his shoulder. The car skidded across the gravel and lurched over the edge. The semi roared past in a cloud of dust.

Whoa. That was close.

Idiot driver! snarled Mom. She took a deep breath, then revved the engine. Are we stuck on something? The car won’t move.

I’ll check. Nero opened his door and stepped into a patch of scraggly clover that tickled his bare legs. The car wasn’t banged up, but its front wheels dangled above the ground. He knelt down and looked underneath.

Clementine’s sandaled feet thumped into the clover on the other side of the car. Fly away, dragonfly! she cried.

What do you see? asked Dad. His sandals, with socks inside, appeared next to Nero’s.

We’re hung up on a stump, Nero announced, standing up and ducking a dizzy-looking dragonfly.

Mom got out and pushed her sunglasses up on her nose. How will we get the car off?

Dad shrugged. They both bent over to look. Dad’s new cap with the laughing goose picture fell off into the clover. Clementine pounced on a grasshopper.

It was way too hot to stand in the sun. Lucky there were trees in this field. Live ones. Nero climbed up the side of the ditch to get into the shade while his parents figured out what to do.

The tree in front of him was very odd. Its bark was smooth and pale green, and wide leaves grew right out of its branches like fish fins. Each branch ended in a single dark green leaf as big as a tarp. Shivers trickled down Nero’s spine. The leaves were lined with white bones, and some had gaping holes like the one in the road sign. Above him, in the center of the tree, sat a huge green, bulging, alien…brain.

Something burped.

Nero leapt back into the ditch. As he stumbled against the hot car hood, he suddenly knew what he’d found.

Chapter 2: Beyond the Broccoli

Dad’s hand hovered in mid-air, just above the mosquito on his cheek. He stared at the strange tree. It does look like broccoli if you pretend you’re an ant.

"I didn’t think Uncle Peter’s vegetables were that big," said Nero.

Maybe they really do live in a pumpkin, said Clementine.

Mom reached through the window and pulled out her purse. Let’s walk. Uncle Peter can lift the car out with his tractor.

Can’t you call them to come and get us? asked Nero. It was really hot.

No cell service anywhere around the farm, said Mom. It’s part of keeping things secret.

Clementine put on her sun hat and Dad grabbed the bug spray. The semi’s dust cloud was gone, leaving the hard-packed gravel baking in the heat.

Nero patted the Wonder-Gizmo in his pocket as he headed to the road. Which tool would he use if he had to fend off a broccoli? The fork? He better not tell Leon he’d been spooked by a vegetable in broad daylight.

Grasshoppers arched around Clementine's feet in the spiky grass next to the road. Nero walked on the gravel, away from the bugs and the creaky jungle noises coming from the giant garden. Were they from the plants, or from something that ate road signs and giant broccoli leaves? Suddenly he wasn’t sure he wanted an adventure.

There’s a different kind of tree. Clementine pointed at a much taller, bushier one. Its leaves were only as big as beach towels, but its long branches flopped in all directions. Both the trunk and the branches had long, spiky bristles.

Tomato, I think, said Mom, pushing up her sunglasses. Yes, it is. She pointed. See that green ball?

Oh, said Dad. I thought that was a water tower. It…

A rumbling noise from behind the tomatoes drowned out the rest of his words. Nero jumped. Then he smiled. It must be one of the farm machines.

He studied the giant tomatoes as they walked. If Uncle Peter let them have one, he and Twig could hollow it out to make a hot air balloon. But how would they make it fly? They could saw it in half to make a dinghy, if there was water to float on. Or they could cut it in lots of pieces to make shields to protect themselves from whatever ate that sign.

Just past the tomato tree, they turned onto a gravel driveway lined with four large, round silver bins with pointed tops. Beyond those stood the noisemaker – a rumbling, yellow machine with a square hole at one end and a spout at the other. Uncle Peter was stooped over the hole end, pushing in a thick orange log. Tiny orange pieces flew out of the spout onto a giant green leaf lying on the ground. The leaf looked like the ones on the broccoli tree, but without the holes. Long, thin orange boards with rough, hairy bark were piled up beside the leaf.

Uncle Peter had his back to them, and there was no use calling to him over the noise. They walked past him. The gravel driveway stretched through a field of clover and past a round shed that looked like a cantaloupe with a bright yellow door.

Nero elbowed Clementine. There’s the pumpkin house, he shouted into her ear. There were actually several pumpkins, connected by round, green, warty tunnels. Giant cucumbers?

How did they hollow it out? Clementine shouted in Nero’s ear.

They must have pulled the gucky stuff out through the door, Nero shouted back. If they’d kept the seeds, he could grow a giant jack-o-lantern at home in his yard. But then the big plants wouldn’t be secret.

By the time they reached the cantaloupe shed, they could talk over the noise.

This is so exciting, said Mom, sliding the elastic off her pony tail and putting it back on again. We haven't seen Peter and Lotta and the kids for ages. Twig is how old now? Thirteen?

Yup, said Nero. He’s two years older than me.

And Fern is two years older than me, said Clementine. Same as Nero.

Dad twirled the pointy ends of his mustache. Nice truck, he said.

Nero snorted. Only Dad would notice a truck in front of a pumpkin house. Especially an orange truck. He was right, though. It was very nice: shiny chrome trim, double exhaust, wide mirrors, and a row of lights on the roof.

The door to the pumpkin house opened and Aunt Lotta rushed toward them, her flip-flops flapping. Welcome! Welcome! she cried, waving both hands. Her fluffy pink hair matched her flowered shirt, and even from a distance, she smelled like raspberries.

Just as she reached them, Uncle Peter’s machine stopped and the driveway jiggled. Nero had to take a step to keep his balance. Nobody else seemed to notice—or maybe they were just distracted by Aunt Lotta’s greetings.

Clementine disappeared into her enormous, squishy hug. All Nero could see of his sister was her purple sun hat and her legs sticking out below. He stepped backwards and stuck out his hand. Aunt Lotta pumped his arm, then Dad’s. Mom wasn’t quick enough. She got a squishy hug.

Uncle Peter bounded toward them as Mom was catching her breath. His wide smile matched his wide ears that stuck out under his farmer’s cap. The cap was