The Ruthless Gangster: The Shadow Sinners, #1

By Avery Kane

"The devil is out to corrupt the ballerina." 

 

Crossbar May is doomed.

That's what I first came to know about the shady town.

I never thought I'd see myself ending up in that horrific town... but I did.

I was taken, stolen and completely destroyed.

The Shadows were hovering upon me to wreck me, hiding and waiting- until they finally attacked.

Ace West is on a mission to ruin me.

He told me he'll break me in the most ruthless way.

What he doesn't know is that you can't break someone who's already broken.

And you definitely can't break the girl you love without destroying yourself.

 

The Ruthless Gangster is book ONE in an  ALL-new college romance series with your favorite tropes by debut author Avery Kane!

Enemies to lovers, childhood to lovers romance, rockstar romance, obsessed boy trope and so much more! In the town of Crossbar May, meet The Shadow Sinners- a group of gangsters ready to take over the world. These dangerous hot bad boys are about to meet their match in the most unexpected way! 

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Avery Kane
• Release date: Oct 30, 2021
• ISBN: 9798201569891

Book preview

Contents

Playlist

Blurb

Prologue

1. Allison

2. Allison

3. Kingston Ivanshov

4. Ace

5. Allison

6. Allison

7. Ace

8. Allison

9. Ace

10. Allison

11. Ace

12. Allison

13. Ace

14. Allison

15. Ace

16. Ace

17. Gabe Taylor

18. Allison

19. Allison

20. Ace

21. Kingston Ivanshov

22. Allison

23. Allison

24. Ace

25. Allison

Epilogue

Untitled

What’s Next?

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Avery Kane’s books:

Playlist

How to Save a Life- The Fray

Chasing Cars- Snow Patrol

Place We Were Made- Maisie Peters

Do I Wanna Know?- Arctic Monkeys

Heartless- The Weeknd

Let’s See What The Night Can Do- Jason Mraz

I Think I’m OKAY- Machine Gun Kelly with Yungblud & Travis Barker

And I Love You So - Helen Reddy

Angels Like You- Miley Cyrus

Ghost- Justin Bieber

Take Yourself Home- Troye Sivan

Lose- KSI, Lil Wayne

Memories- Maroon 5

Souvenir- Selena Gomez

Can’t Help Falling In Love- Elvis Presley

Blurb

The devil is out to corrupt the ballerina.

Crossbar May is doomed.

That’s what I first came to know about the shady town.

I never thought I'd see myself ending up in that horrific town...but I did.

I was taken, stolen and completely destroyed.

The Shadows were hovering upon me to wreck me, hiding and waiting, until they finally attacked.

Ace West is on a mission to ruin me.

He told me he’ll break me in the most ruthless way.

What he doesn't know is that you can't break someone who’s already broken.

And you definitely can't break the girl you love without destroying yourself.

TRIGGER WARNING-

This is a mature new adult book and contains dark themes like kidnapping and explicit violence.

To everyone who’s been through something traumatic. There’s always light at the end of the tunnel and over there, awaits a person who will make you happy.

––––––––

Don’t give up, your tragedy is the most beautiful part of you.

Prologue

Allison

Stars.

They watch, they lurk, but most importantly, they shine. So bright and lucent in the darkness that surrounds the earth. They're a reminder that there's always a way out of misery, a way out of cruel fate and any bad thoughts life may bring about.

All you need is a hand, a hand that's willing to pull you out of the darkness and light up your whole world. Just the way the stars illuminate the dim, dead sky now, casting a faint glow across his cheek. Stars represent an illusion, the notion of beauty and hope. In the ethereal heavens, they're the only ones that shine.

And my star is right here, beside me.

One minute till midnight. His hot breath lingers on my cheek and my nerves make me shiver. Butterflies settle in my stomach about this night I’ve waited so long for. We lie on the grass on top of comfy pillows and blankets, then we sit in front of the candescent lake, the water reflecting upon our faces. The air is chilly, but that's not the reason goosebumps are spiraling down my arm.

It’s him. He’s the reason for my dizziness. He makes me feel like I’m losing my mind. Without him, I would be lost.

Something about the night like this—with him—feels beautiful. Everything feels beautiful when we’re together. I snuggle in his warm embrace. He holds my hand tight as we stargaze.

Aren't they beautiful? I ask.

They are. He turns his head, the blue in his eyes sparkling with ecstasy. But not more than you.

Zach, I whisper, cupping his cheek. I don't know how long I can go without laying my lips on his. I've been waiting so long for this moment—my seventeenth birthday—for the clock to strike twelve so I can finally claim the present I've been dying for. Him.

His lips on mine for the first time ever.

His hand tangled with mine.

His breath, my own.

His world merging with mine.

I turn my head and glance at him. The long hair that falls over his eyes, his full cheeks and straight jawline make his beauty hard to ignore. The moon’s silver light on him makes him appear angelic in a way even Harry Styles would be jealous of. Do you know... I whisper, my heart clenching when he turns his head my way, that when people die, they turn into stars?

You really think that? A dimple on the right corner of his mouth appears, the wind ruffling his hair. The sight of him makes me melt.

Yes. Look. I point at the stars scattered in the sky with the full moon. There’s so many of them. Stars are beauty and magic, a crazy illusion. If you ever lose someone, just know they're in the sky watching you.

He laughs, running a hand through his messy hair. God, I love his hair. Soft blonde curls a model would definitely envy. Try having that conversation with my science teacher.

I love his laughter too. It’s rare and exciting. Not too loud but so infectious. He reaches out to pinch my nose in the adorable way I’ve grown to be obsessed with because he does it so often.

It's just my belief, Zach. We can't let science ruin everything, I say, to which he laughs again.

I refuse to believe that death kills your chance at living a happy life. The aftermath? What comes after this? It's not just heaven or hell. People's lives are bigger than that, their impact stays longer than just special moments. People believe death is the worst thing ever, and just when we think we're nearing that, it’s over. No. It’s not over. There’s a chance. An outburst. You suddenly realize you've turned into the most beautiful thing ever. A star.

"But you're already the most beautiful thing ever. I bet you're planning on killing all the stars." He kisses my nose and a blush creeps from my neck to my cheeks.

Shit. It’s that easy, huh? How does he do it? How does he make me feel this way?

I stare into his blue eyes. You must be wondering, where does that leave shooting stars? Well, let me tell you! I quip, sitting up.

He sighs—that’s his way of telling me to go on, like he has no choice. No matter what I say, Zach always listens even when I know he doesn't want to. He studies me, he admires me, and surprisingly, he always remembers everything I rant about.

I love that about him... He's the only one who ever cares to listen.

A shooting star means a new soul has joined the stars. It's there to tell us someone beautiful has passed away. I gaze up with sadness. Years of fascination with space has made me come up with my own theories and wonders. I’m weird like that. I think about things—I do things—that simply aren’t usual. Zach always says I’m different in a positive, unbelievable kind of a way, and I can't agree with him more.

He shakes his head again before sitting up, wrapping an arm around my waist and tugging me closer till I’m halfway on his lap.

Thump, thump, thump.

Shit.

Be quiet, heart.

His intoxicating breath lingers on my mouth. You know what, Al? You're my only star. The girl I'm head over heels in love with, the girl who makes my heart go all crazy, and the one I can’t simply stop thinking about. You're all I care about. And guess what? My heart beats so loud when he reaches to take out his phone and show me the time. Twelve o’clock.

Happy birthday, my star.

And then he kisses me.

For the first time in my life, I feel like the whole world has just slipped away.

Right now, it's just us.

His lips are soft, his hands frame the sides of my face, he lets out a deep groan. A moan escapes my lips as our tongues clash. We pour out all of our feelings, desires and love for one another with that one kiss. Our very first kiss and it feels like magic. He feels like magic. My fingers grip the collar of his shirt and I bury my other hand in his hair like I always wanted to. The moment feels so heavenly, I never want it to stop.

Zach’s my angel and my brightest star. I'm so happy that a tear escapes my eye and lands on my lip, but he claims that with his mouth before pulling away and whispering, I love you.

My heart skips a beat. In fact, it hurts. Hurts in the beauty of our love. He said it. Holy shit, he said it. I waited a long time for him to say those three words. Nearly six months. And now that he has, I suddenly feel dizzy. Like I’m in a dream, not a reality.

I look up, staring at his handsome face as he continues. I waited so long to tell you I love you Allison, and nothing is better than this moment right here. With you and our kiss, right here under these stars. They're shining for us today. His arms envelop me in the tightest hug.

You've just made my birthday the best ever. I could... I let out a sob of happiness that I realize I've been holding ever since the moment we sat down. I can’t thank you enough. I've been dying to finally say this to you. You're my world Zach, and I love you too.

We stay there for the longest time. Hugging, kissing and talking for the whole night, which turns into the best night of my life. He tells me the very first thing he thinks of when he wakes up is me. I tell him the last thought in my head when I go to sleep is him. He tells me about how the first time we met, he had a need to protect me for the rest of his life and never let me go. I tell him about the very first time I saw him and knew he was going to be the guy I would always love. At that moment, life felt so gorgeous with him and I didnt want the night to end.

My first kiss. My first love.

Zachary Benson, God's most perfect creation.

***

Please, Ash. Calm down—No. Yeah. I'm almost there—

This is fucking ridiculous, Allison. It's two a.m. Have you fucking lost your mind? You want me to wake Mom up and tell her? Huh? I jerk the phone away from my ear because my brother is yelling; his volume will wake my mom regardless.

God, he's a pain in the ass, Zach mutters, rolling his eyes before fixing his gaze back on the road. After a stream of endless missed calls from my brother, we decided it was best to get going, and yeah, maybe because it was late too. The thing is, time with Zach went by so quickly, I totally forgot about curfew.

Ash, I say, trying my best to calm him down. I love my brother, he's always been protective of me, he loves me more than anything and can go to any length to always put me before anyone else. But right now, he's being nothing but annoying.

Another year older, and I feel like an adult. I know I will never do anything to disappoint my family so I should be allowed some freedom, right? But no. Asher is always there to ruin the moment.

I'm literally here, just give me one minute. We're just about to circle the roundabout, I try to explain to him through his constant blabbering.

"Just hurry up, Allison. Being out so late is no joke. I don't care if it's your birthday. Get home. Now!" With that he ends the call and I lean my head against the seat, letting out a deep breath.

Annoying asshole.

Is he always like this? Zach asks, and I turn to him. He's still focused on the road, a smile on his lips.

Yes. I'm sorry about Asher... but thank you. I hold out my hand and he takes one hand off the wheel to grip it. I watch our fingers laced together and grin. Thank you for making this night and my birthday so special. I love you.

His head turns my way and he winks. I love you too, my star. Promise me this is forever?

I nod with the biggest smile on my face. Forever, Zach. You and I. For eternity.

Something flickers in his gaze. His playful demeanor changes and becomes serious. His eyes are clouded with heat and so much love. I hold my breath. The intensity of his ocean blue eyes makes my heartbeat go wild. Zach holds my gaze for what feels like the longest time. The fact that we're on the road just blurs out. It’s just the two of us holding each other's gaze. After a while, he gives me the softest, most beautiful smile I've ever seen.

For eternity, he whispers.

Crash!

Two words. His last two words. That was it; my life fell completely apart after those two words.

No hand was there to pull me out of the darkness and show me a light. It was the night I lost who I was and what I was going to be. It was a perfect dream that turned into a nightmare. A prolonged, neverending nightmare.

It was the night all the stars in my world died out, including him. My eternity wasn't there anymore. The last thing I remember seeing before my vision went blind was a star.

A shooting star.

One Allison

I stare out the window, my vision blurry. The sun hits my face, blinding my eyes even more. I hate August. This time of the year in Greenville, South Carolina, the weather is dreadful and unpredictable. One minute the sun is glowing, all yellow and bright; other times, you're watching for an angry thunderstorm on the way.

Today is hell— there’s this warm humidity that is out to torture you until you get some shade. Personally, I'd rather be at home, on my bed, with the air conditioner blasting but life isn't always easy. You really don’t always get what you want. And as much as I’d like to be at home, at the same time I just can't. Confronting my parents is the last thing I want to do. I hate talking to them. It’s not because of their bad parenting, but because somehow they always find a way to talk about that.

And I hate it. I wish I could erase the memory of that night.

The only person who understands me better than anyone else is my brother. Yet he’s never around. Asher spends most of his afternoons—when we're both supposed to be at home—drinking, partying, racing cars, and banging the entire female population of Greenville.

He loves me and we know everything about each other, but it's also very easy for him to avoid me. As protective as Asher is, he is still a careless guy. Always has been. He protects me but doesn't communicate with me. In fact, his communication comes in the form of music. Asher, with his silver-blonde hair and gray eyes, makes Greenville go crazy thanks to his spellbinding voice and electric guitar. People at his college call him the beautiful rockstar.

My parents, on the other hand, are a stereotypical rich couple who only cares about sustaining and growing their reputation. They will do anything to not let their two children in the Haynes households become failures. My mother, a chef, and my father, a businessman, expect us to be like them. Me? I don't know where I’m headed.

A year ago, my parents didn't know that I danced ballet, that I snuck out most nights to the studio and twirled until I couldn't feel my legs anymore. I feel like that will never be enough for them because they want me to go to college and study law. There’s no degree for dancing, and even if there was—I can't do it anymore. Despite the tragedy that occured, they're constantly nagging me to do something with my life and be more like Asher.

Because Asher? He’s the golden child. His sterling college degree in music and good grades are something that my parents are proud of. My parents are happy that he has talent—a magical voice and instrumental skills.

What they don't know is that Asher lies.

My parents think he goes out on some nights to perform a gig, but he doesn't. He races illegally, he parties hard, and he also drinks...a lot. One night, Asher called me to pick him up when he was out-of-his-brain drunk and nearly passed out. I helped him, but my tutu and leotard outed me. There was no point in hiding; I told him about my love for ballet. We're both so similar in some aspects. We both have hidden secrets and will go out of way to protect that from our parents or anyone.

It’s been one year since the accident and I feel like there’s no moving on from it. There's this constant sting of glass scraping my heart to a point where I can just feel it shrinking. There's gonna come a time where it completely stops beating.

I think about Zach a lot and it makes me angry. It comes down to this: It should've been me instead of him. The thought itself is just this—a lifelong suffering of desolation. I sometimes snap, unnecessarily. The other times, I remain emotionless. No tears left to cry, no reason to be happy anymore, and no reason to wake up searching for possible contentment. Expectations stop when your mind has already made the decision for you, and what’s my decision?

Resignation.

I’m resigned to being stuck in my own depression forever, going somewhere but absolutely nowhere.

Why would I want happiness anyway? To be snatched away again? No, thanks. I've accepted this is how I’m forever gonna be.

Lonely.

It doesn't help that the only thing which kept me going in life has also been stolen away. Ever since the accident, I've suffered an injury that’s never left me.

Knee osteoarthritis in my left knee.

It hurts and I hate it. I can walk, but I can never participate in any physical activity ever again. Even while walking, it feels like I’m carrying this heavy weight on me—there are times where even walking starts to hurt, so I just start limping as the swelling in my joints gets too unbearable. Every two weeks I go and see my doctor for an injection of corticosteroids, which works as a lubricating fluid in the system. Once a week I also see my physical therapist for occupational therapy. She assists me with moving my leg around and pain relief.

These are just treatments to make me feel better. The reality is that knee osteoarthritis is not curable, and what hurts even more is the fact that I can't ever go back to what I love doing—ballet.

Ballet was the only thing I had going for me. I’ve been doing it since I was fourteen years old. I hid this passion from my family. Even Zach didn't know. Ballet was mine and mine alone. I danced while no one was watching. I felt the most alive through that. And now it feels like there's nothing left anymore. I’m alive but not at the same time.

There's nothing to live for.

Squeezing myself closer to the window, I rest upon a comfy seat at the Blacktop Diner, which is ten minutes away from school. I've been sitting here for about an hour. I left home early because I wanted to avoid my parents before they woke up. I didn’t want my day to start with a headache, especially on the first day of school, just coming back from a fun summer break.

Yeah right. Like you had any fun, Alli.

Just four more months to go. Summer break is now over, I’ll have to be a part of this hellhole for just four more months. My senior year in high school and then I’m free.

I look outside. The diner is surrounded by fellow students who all attend our school. Greenville Academy: Bringing ambition to life. A load of bullshit, if you ask me. My school is filled with rich, entitled assholes, bullies, and jocks. Girls in short summer dresses that look like they're doing a catwalk across the hallway everytime. Guys in sleeveless shirts showing off their muscular arms that they've been working on to get ready for summer.

God, summer. Look what you fucking do.

I'm already annoyed about all the pool parties being planned, not that I'll be invited to any, but I'm sure Kenzie—my popular friend—will drag me to one or two. This is what life is like in Greenville for these people. Fun. It's really what they live to do, but not me. Hell, I actually do really miss the time I was a party girl who enjoyed going out and partying. But ever since last year, I stopped. It just doesn't feel right anymore. I feel trapped, misplaced. Like I don't belong.

I glance down at the book in my hand—Stardust by Neil Gaiman—and read over the same sentence I've been re-reading for the past hour: "She says nothing at all, but simply stares upward into the dark sky and watches, with sad eyes, the slow dance of the infinite stars."

My eyes burn and my hands turn to jelly. Why does it feel so real? Too real. It feels like me.

A sense of pain flows through me, to a point where I feel like I’m completely zoning out in a public place. Kenzie thankfully interrupts, sliding into the booth opposite me.

First day of school after summer break, I’m clearly not fucking ready. Her voice makes me wince. She places her chocolate freeze on the table and narrows her eyes at my empty coffee cup. Seriously, Alli? Coffee? Isn't it like, too hot for a coffee?

Hi to you too, I mutter, dismissing her and reading my book again.

Fallacious, Kenzie. Another voice follows. This one belongs to my bestie since kindergarten—Willow. It's never too hot for coffee, right Alli? Her shoulder nudges mine as she slides in by my side, holding her own long macchiato.

Oh, look at you. Miss it's-never-too-hot, Kenzie says with a snarky tone. Were you born in the 1960s, Willow? I mean, from what you're wearing one can assume Audrey Hepburn is still alive.

Kenz, I warn her, my eyes still on the book in my hands.

Willow eyes Kenzie with a bright smile. "People are allowed to wear whatever they want and nobody can decide that, okay? I like my vintage and retro dresses, so what? I don't have to live by anyone’s standard. And once anyone starts living by someone’s standard, it will be the end of civilization. Just the way it's already happening." The comeback comes with a deep ending thought. Her sweet voice blossoms with softness.

Cool, thanks for that Oprah, Kenzie retorts, and I look up to see her bored expression.

This is typical Kenzie and a typical conversation between our group. Funny I refer to us as a group since I don’t even know how that happened. All I know is that Willow and I are unbreakable. Our friendship started on our first day at kindergarten and we've been inseparable since then.

I still remember when I met her. Willow wore a long polka dot pink dress, the kind she’s wearing to this day. With her sparkly golden eyes, she looked up at me with admiration when Mrs. Fernandes told the class to introduce ourselves one by one. I don’t even know what I said—probably something stupid since I remember how nervous I was—yet Willow Harper stared at me like I was her soul sister and said, "You have a pretty name to which I responded, You have the prettiest hair."

And damn right she did.

Willow had absolutely gorgeous long copper-red hair that came all the way to her hips. She always kept it that way, natural with soft curls. Her eyes were brown, not the dull kind, but beautiful with a hazel glow that shone under the sun. She had black specs that she always wore as a child that made her eyes look even bigger than normal.

After the accident, Willow really helped me get out of my shell. Let’s just say my mother fully trusted me to be with her. She encouraged me to be more like her too. Because Willow is a multitasker, she has so much talent and always takes care of her little siblings.

Anyways, the first time I ever went out after Zach’s funeral was with Willow to church. I’m not a believer in God, but she is. She told me even though I don’t fully understand Christianity, I could still be a part of it. And I did, I sat there next to her and saw the beauty unfold. The beauty of hope and happiness that was so transparent. The people were kind. No one forced me to talk like my parents did at home. They gave me my peace by just existing. I started going with her every Sunday and I still do. Especially these days, I make sure to stay back one more hour and watch her teach little kids about the Bible. I try to stay there for as long as possible because church is slowly becoming my one and only happy place.

I just love seeing Willow happy too because most of the time she’s always feeling something.

You see, Willow is an overthinker. She’s a confused little soul. Willow, being the daughter of Deputy Colin Harper and Gemma Harper, who is the principal of Greenville Academy, always feels like she’s doing something wrong when she’s not. Over the years I've also noticed Willow develop a low self-esteem because her family’s reputation also makes her off limits to any guy. The bad boys are too scared of her father and the good ones are too scared of her mother.

Willow and I met Kenzie in the middle of freshman year. She was a new student who moved to Greenville. Her mother is a French designer, and she stayed with her in Paris for the majority of her life. Kenzie told us that from a young age, she never saw her parents together. That’s until one day, her father, who’s the CEO of Greenville’s Chamber of Commerce, offered Kenzie to come and stay with him. He didn't like the fact that Kenzie wasn't studying; apparently he said that she was getting spoiled with all the money her mother was giving her.

I still remember the first day Kenzie Lane stepped foot in Greenville Academy, an enchanting princess with her dirty blonde hair and metallic blue eyes, high heels, a leather purple purse, and Chanel clothes. She looked surreal. She took Greenville Academy by storm. The cheer squad instantly wanted her to be a part of their team. Some girls glared in spite at her long legs and lean figure. I can say it with confidence that she looks better than any current celebrity model. That’s how pretty Kenzie is. It’s simple really; you either want her or you want to be her.

She became our friend when the school’s principal assigned her very own daughter to show Kenzie around on her first day. Despite their bickering, Kenzie really admired Willow and how sweet she was. It’s not surprising. It's very easy to love Willow.

Her first lunchtime, she walked up to us and sat on our small little table in the cafeteria, right at the corner. The whole school was in shock, including Willow and me, who stared at her like we'd just won the lottery. We never got involved with popular kids. That one day together in the cafeteria turned into a whole week of hangouts, and I enjoyed it because Kenzie was fun, relatable, and easy-going. She looked like a princess but she didn’t want that title, so she chose us amongst everyone else. Secretly, I liked that. Yes, people sent us death glares for the whole month after Kenzie started hanging out with Willow and me, but slowly and thankfully, it all died out.

Okay, listen girls. Important talk here, Kenzie says, leaning closer to us as if she’s about to spill her darkest secrets.

I smile, closing my book and tucking it into my bag. I’ll return to you later, Stardust.

Willow plays with her round specs. What are you gonna spill, Ken?

Someone’s birthday is coming up...

My smile immediately drops. Oh