Polaris: The Stardust Series, #6

By Autumn Reed and Julia Clarke

Choose all of us...

 

With that one sentence, everything changed.

 

I've fallen hard for Knox, Theo, Chase, Liam, and Jackson. They're my Polaris, my North Star.

 

Even so, I feel lost.

 

How can I be with all five of these incredible men without potentially losing them? How can I not, when the alternative means giving them up forever?

 

*Polaris is the final book in The Stardust Series, a slow-burn contemporary reverse harem romance.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Autumn Reed
• Release date: Apr 20, 2018
• ISBN: 9798201704520

Autumn Reed

Autumn is a lifelong bookworm with a penchant for sarcasm. She loves cloudy days, fluffy dogs, and murdering succulents. When she isn't bringing daydreams to life on the page, she can be found behind the lens of a digital camera or binge-watching Veronica Mars. To read more about Autumn Reed, visit www.autumnreed.com.

Book preview

1

Delicate

Haley

---

I watched Jackson through a glass door and only barely suppressed a laugh at the scowl he sent his physical therapist, Sharon. Since the appointment was coming to a close, I had a feeling his surly expression was due to future therapy instructions. Jackson was convinced he was well enough to stop the appointments, lose his sling, and be cleared to drive. From the way Sharon appeared to be lecturing him, I doubted she agreed.

After a few more minutes of discussion, Jackson shook his head and started walking toward me, finally noticing me when he stood just on the other side of the glass. Immediately, the grim set of his mouth transformed into a smile I was coming to know and love. It was one reserved for me and lit up my insides every time.

Things had changed between us in the three weeks since the shooting. It was a subtle change, but it felt monumental all the same. I didn’t know if it had more to do with finally accepting my feelings for Jackson or becoming more comfortable with dating all five of the guys. Either way, I was happy to be in this place with him. It was easy and exciting all at the same time.

After checking out and rejoining me in the lobby, he bent down to kiss me as if he did so in public every day. You’re a sight for sore eyes.

Was the appointment that bad?

He took my hand in his and headed for the exit. No, but Sharon said I’m not off the hook yet. Still no driving, and I have to come in two days next week.

Well, that’s good news. Two is better than three.

Yeah, but you’re still stuck chauffeuring my frail ass around.

At his words, my thoughts naturally drifted to his incredible body, including his rear end, which was anything but frail. If I didn’t know he’d been shot less than a month ago, I would have never guessed there was a thing wrong with him. He looked whole and healthy, if a little paler than usual. No driving definitely meant no surfing.

You know I don’t mind. It’s been nice getting to spend so much time with you.

He must have picked up on a trace of hurt in my tone, because he squeezed my hand, then dropped it to put his arm around my waist. I would happily take another bullet to the shoulder if it meant getting to see you every day.

I smacked his stomach with the back of my hand. Don’t even joke about that.

Hey! he exclaimed. No hitting the invalid.

Since Jackson insisted on evening appointments—so as to not interrupt his work day—the short drive to Liam’s penthouse only took about ten minutes. He updated me on exactly what Sharon relayed about his progress, patiently answering each of my questions. Despite his irritation with the therapist, he’d been entirely disciplined with his physical therapy these last few weeks. Determined to get back to fighting form as soon as possible, he followed her instructions to the letter. That didn’t stop me from checking up on him almost daily, though. He might have accused me of coddling him once or twice, but I ignored him.

When Jackson let us into the apartment, a delectably sweet yet spicy scent assaulted us, and he turned to me with a confused look. Liam knows we already ate dinner, right?

I’m guessing that’s dessert.

Liam appeared, as if out of nowhere, and pulled me into his arms. Yes, but I’m suddenly craving something else.

With Jackson standing a foot behind me, Liam kissed me like he hadn’t seen me in weeks. I tensed at first, then allowed myself to relax into his body. Unlike when I was at the loft with Chase, Theo, and Knox, I rarely felt awkward showing affection in front of these two. I was coming to understand that they didn’t mind watching me with the other; in fact, I was pretty sure they enjoyed it.

When Liam finally pulled back, he grinned at me then Jackson. How about a hello kiss, Jax?

Only Haley is allowed to touch these lips.

My cheeks heated, even though it made no sense. I’d just made out with Liam right in front of him, but hearing Jackson openly talk about our relationship still made me jittery. No matter how open-minded I was trying to be about this whole sharing Haley thing, I constantly felt like I was drifting through untested waters.

What did you make for dessert? Yeah, I was not above changing the subject. It smells delicious.

I tried a new recipe—chocolate-ginger cake with bourbon sauce.

Liam dished us each a slice of cake and topped it with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. I almost moaned when I tried the first bite. The cake was the perfect blend of chocolate and spice, and the texture was dense without feeling too heavy.

This recipe is definitely a keeper.

I agree, Jackson said, savoring his last bite.

I noticed chocolate sauce in the corner of his mouth, and without thinking, I leaned over and licked it off. Jackson froze, and I sat back, stunned at my rash behavior. It took everything in me not to hide my face in my hands. What had gotten into me?

When no one said anything, I returned to my dessert and took a hefty bite, like nothing had happened. Liam, who was watching me with a mischievous grin, swiped a finger through the remaining sauce on his plate, then stretched his arm across the table, holding it before my lips.

Well? he asked expectantly.

One second, then two, passed as he stared into my eyes, daring me. Unwilling to back down now, I drew his finger into my mouth and slowly swirled my tongue around it before lightly sucking. Liam’s gray eyes darkened to steel, and I retreated, feeling way too hot and bothered.

Jackson cleared his throat and stood. Okay, who’s up for a movie?

I followed him into the kitchen, grateful for the reprieve. I vote for an action movie. The last thing I needed was to watch any remotely sexual scenes while surrounded by these two.

While Liam scrolled through an endless online library, looking for a movie to rent, I asked Jackson for an update on the Zenith internal corruption. Although I was still in training and shouldn’t be privy to details, he’d been fairly open with me about the progress of the investigation. Considering I’d ended up hearing much of the story directly from Ethan in the hospital that day, he’d probably decided it wasn’t worth the argument to keep me out of it.

My part is almost wrapped up, but Uncle will be stuck dealing with the fallout for quite some time. There are still more interviews to conduct since the directors have decided to speak to every employee who came into contact with The Elites in the last few years. I’m just glad they assigned a new task force to handle it. Otherwise, I’d be pulling my hair out from having to deal with the bureaucracy of it all.

I’m sure you’ll be happy to take back all of your duties. Between Jackson’s role in the investigation and his recovery, Knox had assumed the day-to-day management of the team. It was a touchy subject for Jackson since letting anyone else, even Knox, direct the team was a serious challenge for him.

Liam grinned. You better be careful, Jax. Knox might decide he likes being in charge and try to take over.

I snorted, and they both gaped at me. Sorry, but that’s never going to happen. Have you guys been paying any attention the last few weeks? I’ve never seen Knox so moody or stressed. I swear he’s started muttering to himself.

I’d barely gotten the words out when my mind wandered to . . . other things. Merely saying Knox’s name these days caused a myriad of emotions to wash over me. Desire. Anxiety. Guilt. Love.

Deep down, I knew we had nothing to be ashamed of. He was my boyfriend—if only one of five—and it was totally acceptable to have sex with him. Still, I couldn’t help but feel guilty on the few occasions I’d snuck into his bed late at night. It seemed like I was favoring Knox over the others, which wasn’t true. But the fact that I’d taken that step with him didn’t mean I was ready to jump into bed with the others. I knew each of my relationships needed to arrive there naturally.

Though Knox assured me he hadn’t told anyone, part of me worried the other guys could tell that our relationship had moved to the next level. I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings by not choosing them first, or at all, at this point.

What was a girl to do? A girl with five boyfriends. Sheesh.

I’d forced myself not to ask any follow-up questions to Knox’s we want you to choose all of us statement and was trying to just accept it. It was harder than it sounded, though. Was I ready to accept that I could be with all five of them . . . indefinitely? As happy as the idea made me, it still felt impossible.

When I was alone in my bed at night—which wasn’t too often anymore—I dreamed about a future with all of them. It was something I hadn’t allowed myself to do before Knox’s revelation. Not even once.

But there were times I could see it working. The five of them were already so close, I could imagine being that sixth and final piece that completed them in a way Ethan obviously never did. It was totally unrealistic and yet somehow obvious.

Haley.

My head snapped up at the sound of my name, and I realized Liam and Jackson were watching me. I’d missed something, and I had no idea what.

Huh?

Liam raised an eyebrow. You sure you’re up for a movie? You seem kind of out of it.

No, yes, I mean, I’m fine. Hoping to change the subject, yet again, I asked, Have you heard anything about Ethan?

Jackson studied me, his expression inscrutable. Maybe.

In other words, you know, but you don’t want to tell me? Ethan had been on my mind, and not because I missed him—because I was worried about him. I’d had plenty of time to think about his confession and come to understand why he was drawn to The Elites and chose to push Team Jaguar away. He’d messed up, but I didn’t want him to lose his job due to his misguided choices.

Oh, I’ll tell you. I hesitated because I want to understand why you’re interested in Ethan. Is this something we need to discuss?

Liam paused in his scrolling to watch us, and I suddenly felt trapped by their intense gazes. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut.

No, we don’t need to discuss it. I only asked because I don’t want him to get fired, and no one has mentioned him since Dallas.

He and Chase are talking again, Liam said.

Really? Why hadn’t Chase told me?

Yeah, apparently they’re trying to—slowly—rebuild their friendship. Nothing like a punch in the face to patch things up.

I rolled my eyes. Guys are so weird.

Jackson settled his good arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his side. Yet you surround yourself with them. Touché. Anyway, the directors are supposed to vote on Ethan’s future with the company next week. I know Patrick is trying to convince the others to give him a second chance, but it’s an uphill battle. They’re determined to eliminate all remnants of The Elites from Zenith.

Any chance you could sway them? Jackson may have been relatively young, but I was coming to understand that he was a respected leader within the organization.

He pushed a wayward strand of hair off my cheek as he considered my question. I could see conflict in his eyes, but he eventually nodded. Perhaps. I’ll discuss it with Uncle tomorrow.

I wanted to express my gratitude but decided to keep it to myself. If I had any doubt that Ethan was still a sore subject for him, he’d confirmed it in the last few minutes. At this point, I wasn’t even sure what he was hanging on to—Ethan’s betrayal, guilt for not stopping him from quitting the team in the first place, or relief that Ethan showed up and essentially saved his life. Knowing Jackson, it was probably all three.

I turned to Liam. What movie did you select?

When the credits rolled nearly two hours later, I pried myself off the couch, not wanting to leave the cozy spot between the guys. As had become our habit, I followed Liam to his bedroom, leaving Jackson to take the guest room. I brushed my teeth and washed my face, changing into one of Liam’s sumptuous silk nightshirts before sliding beneath the covers of his ridiculously comfortable bed.

Liam’s steady breathing on my neck was finally lulling me to sleep when the bed dipped in front of me. Jax? I whispered into the darkness, suddenly alert. Are you okay? Did something happen?

He slipped under the sheet, and I was inundated with warm skin, his ever-present clean scent, and muscles. Well, more muscles, since Liam’s arms were still securely wrapped around my torso.

Shhh, Haley. Nothing is wrong. I’m just tired of sleeping alone when I could be sleeping with you.

But, your shoulder— Fingers landed on my lips, silencing me.

Is fine. Stop worrying so much. His body inched closer, and I realized he was only wearing boxers and his sling. Besides, considering how snug the three of us are in this bed, there’s not much chance you’ll be able to move enough to bump it.

His statement made me even more aware of the rather delicate position I found myself in. If I was the little spoon to Liam’s big spoon, what did that make Jackson? The fork?

You’re really going to sleep in here?

Relax, it’ll be fine.

Before I could respond, his mouth landed on mine, ensuring the last thing I could be was relaxed. I expected a quick goodnight kiss, but when he deepened it, I started to panic. He couldn’t make out with me when Liam was sleeping inches away. Could he?

I pulled back just enough to whisper Liam’s name.

Won’t mind, he said against my lips before continuing the assault.

My brain was telling me I should be resistant or scandalized or . . . something, but I didn’t want him to stop. He felt too good, smelled too good, tasted too good.

Being careful not to jar his injured shoulder, I allowed one hand to roam over his chest, my fingers dipping into the creases between each abdominal muscle. I longed to be closer, to move against him, but I willed myself to stay as still as possible.

While his tongue warred with mine, I slowly became aware of a new hand on my hip and soft kisses on my shoulder. I stiffened, and my eyes popped open. Since I could barely see Jackson’s face in the dim light, I wasn’t able to make out his expression. He must have sensed the reason for my alarm, though, because he immediately pressed a finger to my lips once again. It’s okay, Haley.

Liam paused long enough to murmur, Let go, gorgeous. Just for a few minutes.

I barely heard the words over the pounding of my own heart. When I didn’t say anything, Jackson’s mouth lowered to mine, and Liam’s pressed against the back of my neck. I let my eyes fall closed and tried to stop thinking and just feel. The sensations were overwhelming, and my breaths turned to pants as fingers threaded through my hair, legs tangled with mine, and hands traveled over my thighs, back, stomach, breasts. I was no longer aware of who was touching me where, and I didn’t even care.

Seconds that could have been minutes passed before I felt both of them slow and withdraw almost simultaneously. Had they spoken without me noticing?

Wavering between relief and the desire to continue, I focused on each inhale and exhale, hoping to steady my breathing. It was difficult, since my back was still nestled against Liam’s front, and I was fairly certain Jackson’s hand remained in my hair.

After long moments of silence, Liam chuckled. Well, that was fun.

He scooted fully to his side of the bed, and I moved to the middle to give Jackson more room, grateful the dark was hiding my blush. As they both found ways to keep me close without smothering me, any awkwardness I felt was overshadowed by my contentment. They’d taken sharing me to an entirely new level tonight, and though it was outside my comfort zone, I refused to let fear win.

2

Secrets & Surprises

Haley

---

Footsteps echoed on the stairs, and I looked up from the couch and smiled. Theo's hair had grown out since the fall, and he was sporting what I considered his signature style. A flash of color caught my eye, drawing my attention to his latest shoe purchase—burgundy suede chukka boots—paired with fitted jeans cuffed at the hem and a navy sweater.

I exited my browser window before shutting my laptop, not wanting him to see the article I'd been reading that promised unique gift ideas for the man in my life. I imagined finding the perfect gift for one boyfriend was troublesome enough, but I had five. Five guys who had everything. And with only two weeks left until Christmas, I was running out of time.

Last year, the idea of buying presents for each of them seemed fun, but now that I was dating them, I found it incredibly stressful. It wasn't about the gifts—the actual material items—it was about what they symbolized. I wanted to make sure that Knox, Theo, Chase, Liam, and Jackson knew how important they were to me. Fortunately, Theo and I planned to go shopping today.

Good morning, sugar plum. You ready?

Are you? I teased, standing from the couch and smoothing down my skirt. When you said you wanted an early start, I should have known better. Knox and Chase were already gone by the time I got home from Liam’s, and you were still in bed.

Can you blame me for relishing my newfound freedom?

No, but don't blame me if I run out of time to make iced oatmeal cookies because you wanted to sleep in.

He raised an eyebrow as he wrapped his hands around my waist. You're making my favorite cookies? Does that mean you're actually excited about the party?

I'm excited that you're graduating. You've worked hard, and I'm proud of you.

Considering what Theo had told me of his past, I was beyond proud of his accomplishments, of the man he had become. From a scrawny little boy from a broken home to the pre-Zenith Theo who sought attention and acted out, he had transformed himself. He had a college degree, a great job, and he was part of a family whose bonds had been forged through friendship.

I clutched the front of his sweater, drawing him close, and he brushed his lips against mine. His woodsy-citrus scent overwhelmed my senses, making me feel at peace, at home. When he teased the seam of my mouth with his tongue, I grew impatient for him to deepen the kiss, but he pulled away with a tortured groan.

As much as I'd love to stand here and give those beautiful lips the attention they deserve, I wanted to talk to you about something.

My stomach clenched with worry. Ever since the day Chase delivered the news that Jackson had been shot, I often found myself jumping to the worst possible conclusions. I tried not to relive the terror of that moment, but I clearly wasn’t over it yet. In truth, I wasn’t sure I ever would be.

When any of the guys went on an assignment now, I braced myself for bad news and checked my phone almost constantly. It was becoming a compulsion that I needed to get a handle on. They had a job to do, and though there were certain dangers inherent in the job description, they were all capable of taking care of themselves.

Perhaps sensing my distress, Theo grabbed my hand, rubbing his thumb over the back of it. I, um, sort of planned a surprise for you, and I probably should have run it by you first. But, now it's kind of a done deal.

Relieved by his mention of a surprise, I chided, What did you do, Theodore? And, if you say you want us to go skydiving to celebrate your graduation, you can forget it.

Not skydiving, but it does involve an airplane. When I gave him a quizzical look, he added, Jessica is coming to visit.

My mouth fell open, but I quickly closed it, realizing that Theo was looking at me expectantly with a tentative smile on his face. Jess is coming to visit? Here?

I felt silly for repeating him, but I found it difficult to believe. Jess and I had barely spoken after I'd confessed the truth about my relationships with the guys. It was only after the near-tragedy in Dallas that I felt compelled to call her, not wanting another day to pass without attempting to make amends. Even so, I could tell she didn't approve of my choices, and I was still hurt by her spiteful words.

She is. In fact, she would've been here by now if her flight hadn't been delayed.

I fell silent, panic rising within me, even as I recognized that I needed to stay calm. Theo wouldn't expect me to be anything but ecstatic to see my best friend. If only I'd told him about our fight, this all could have been avoided.

Haley?

Knowing I either needed to confess the truth or maintain the charade that everything was fine, I opted for the latter. Theo had gone to considerable effort, and likely expense, to surprise me, and I didn't want to ruin it for him. Like it or not, Jess was coming to visit, and it saddened me that I dreaded the idea of spending time with her.

Wow. Thank you.

You really had no idea?

Not a clue. Considering all the secrecy in the past, I'm surprised Jax allowed it.

He only found out yesterday when I finally told him and the others. But I have a sneaking suspicion he'd permit almost anything when it comes to your happiness.

I cast my eyes to the floor, studying the pattern of the rug as my face heated from memories of the night before with Jackson and Liam. If only Theo knew.

With a glance at his watch, he said, We should probably get going if we want to make it to the airport on time.

In a daze, I nodded and followed him to the car. During the drive, he detailed an extensive list of his top picks for the attractions, shops, and restaurants we should visit during Jess’s stay. Thankfully, I knew I could count on Theo to keep us busy, and we'd probably always have one or more of the guys with us as a buffer. Maybe the situation wasn't as bad as I initially feared; I'd simply avoid spending any alone time with her.

Theo's voice broke through my thoughts. Since Chase took over the guest room, I figured you'd want Jessica to stay with you. I hope that's okay. There went that idea.

Sure. That’ll work.

Theo linked our hands as we walked through the airport, passing harried travelers, their suitcases bursting at the seams. Between the near-constant announcements and the incessant stream of passengers, I realized how spoiled I'd become by flying mostly by charter jet.

As we waited at the baggage claim, I surveyed the crowd. Thanks to my Zenith training, scanning large groups of people had become second nature, and it didn't take me long to spot Jess.

With a patterned tote slung over her shoulder, she looked stylish in dark skinny jeans and a loose sweater that hung off one shoulder. Maybe it was her straightened hair that grazed the exposed skin of her collarbone or new makeup, but she looked different, older. I shouldn't have been surprised—almost nine months had passed since I'd visited her in Vegas.

I squeezed Theo's hand before releasing it, grateful when he gave me a bright smile. Wishing the weekend was already over, even though it had barely started, I took a deep breath and forced myself to relax. Jess had been my best friend, my only friend, for most of my life. There was nothing to be afraid of.

Hales!

Jess. I forced a smile, walking into her open arms for a hug.

She pulled back, surprising me with the genuine happiness radiating from her. It's good to see you.

Theo stepped forward to give her a side hug as she said, Hey, Theo. Thanks again for helping me arrange everything. Stunned to learn that it had been her idea, I tried to rein in my surprise.

Anything for Haley. He grinned, taking her bag before leading us back to the car.

After grabbing lunch and a quick stop at the beach, we returned to the loft. Between catching up with the guys, making cookies, and setting up for the party, Jess and I weren’t truly alone until it was time to get ready. She walked around my room, taking everything in while I evaluated her, not quite sure what to say. I'd never known Jess to be so reticent with her opinion, and it threw me for a loop.

Pausing when she came to the picture of Chase, Jackson, Liam, Knox, Theo, and me on Christmas Eve, I braced myself and was relieved when she said, Your room is gorgeous. It's straight out of a magazine.

Thanks. Theo gave me a room makeover for Christmas last year. He really has an eye for design.

Not wanting to ruin our tentative peace by discussing Theo or any of the guys, I grabbed my cosmetics bag and selected an eye shadow palette. As we applied our makeup and got dressed for the party, she asked questions about my job and we discussed her volunteer work at the animal shelter, dancing around the elephant in the room.

Great eyeliner. Can I borrow it? Jess held her hand out expectantly.

I'll give you the name, but I'd rather not share cosmetics.

She scrunched up her face. We've been friends forever. We've shared everything from clothes to root beer floats.

I laughed, remembering how often she had begged her mom for the sugary treat. Yeah, I know, but Kara has told me over and over what a bad idea it is.

I share makeup with my friends in Vegas all the time, and we never have an issue. But if you're worried about my cooties or whatever, that's fine. She shrugged.

I don't think you have cooties, I said, feeling like we were a pair of six-year-olds. Annoyed by the tight expression on her face, I held it out to her, knowing the argument was ridiculous and I could always buy another. Here, you can have it.

Don't worry about it. She focused on her handheld mirror and applied lipstick while refusing to take the pencil from me. I wouldn't want to contaminate your pristine eyeliner.

Grinding my teeth, I dropped it back into the bag and swiped on some lip gloss. I'm going to head out there. Join us when you're ready.

I shut the door and took a deep breath, wondering how I was going to survive the weekend. If Jess and I were arguing about something as trivial as eyeliner, what would happen when we discussed my love life? Because I suspected it was only a matter of time before that issue came to a head.

Music filtered through the loft, and I wasn't surprised to find Theo standing near the record player, perusing the extensive vinyl collection. Jackson was talking with one of Theo's friends from UCSC, and I spotted Penny sniffing the floor for crumbs. Max and her boyfriend refilled their drinks, joining Liam, Chase, and a few other guests who had congregated in the kitchen near the food.

Knox pulled me into a hug, placing a gentle kiss on my temple before releasing me. Are you okay?

What was she thinking?

I don't know, but clearly she wanted to see you. Give her a chance and hear her out. Perhaps