Your Kid's Ok!: Celebrate Uniqueness as a Superpower

By Ellen Brown

Parenting is a tricky, terrifying, confusing and rewarding journey. We make mistakes, misjudge situations, miss opportunities, and basically mess up regularly. However, at the end of the day, if you recognise your child as a “square peg”, celebrate that you no longer have to try and squeeze that child into a “round hole”. The world needs and eventually celebrates difference. There is no need to shout, “My Kids OK!” wrap yourself in the knowledge that it is true, and free your child to be who they are made to be!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: Oct 5, 2021
• ISBN: 9781984508164

Ellen Brown

Ellen Brown is a 30-year veteran foodie. She is the author of more than 30 cookbooks, including several Complete Idiot's guides. She is the founding food editor of USA Today. Her writing has been featured in major publications including The Washington Post, The Los Angeles Times, Bon Appetit, Art Culinaire, and The San Francisco Chronicle, and she has a weekly column in the Providence Journal. She lives in Providence, Rhode Island.

Book preview

YOUR

KID’S

OK!

Celebrate Uniqueness as a Superpower

Ellen Brown

This book is dedicated firstly to my five precious children,

Aaron, Jarryd, Ethan, Nate and Abbey-rose. May you

each discover the unique greatness you have inside.

And to my mother, whose genuine love and

acceptance of all people shaped my life.

Copyright © 2021 by Ellen Brown.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 09/13/2021

Xlibris

AU TFN: 1 800 844 927 (Toll Free inside Australia)

AU Local: [phone] ([phone] from outside Australia)

www.Xlibris.com.au

834522

Contents

Foreword

Introduction

PART 1

The bullying cover-up

Chapter 1 What is bullying?

Chapter 2 Why does it occur?

Chapter 3 What can I do?

Chapter 4 Transforming the bullying experience into a Superpower

Chapter 5 Who shares this Superpower?

PART 2

Autism uncovered

Chapter 6 What is ASD?

Chapter 7 What can I do?

Chapter 8 Redefining my child’s ASD as a Superpower

Chapter 9 Who shares this Superpower?

PART 3

Anxiety unmasked

Chapter 10 What is anxiety?

Chapter 11 How does anxiety affect the child?

Chapter 12 How can I help?

Chapter 13 Redefining my child’s anxiety into a Superpower.

Chapter 14 Who shares this Superpower?

PART 4

The Parents’ Role

Chapter 15 The truth uncovered

References

Foreword

We are fed a lie. We are surrounded by the media telling us what is normal when, in fact, the definition of normal becomes so narrow that in most cases, 95% of us would be considered abnormal. In a society so desperate to feel normal, it is time we took a look at the narrow confines of normal and shatter them in order to redefine the reality we know exists.

I am the Director and Founder of Complete Education Australia, now renamed Euka. In my role as Academic Director, I have had the privilege of working with over 15000 students in the past eight years. During this time, it has been impossible to ignore a resounding message of despair from parents. They share with me their experiences of seeing their child bullied, set apart, and isolated. They share the burden of fear and sadness with their child and are desperate to hear what is so needed to be said…. your child is fantastic and bubbling with innate brilliance inside.

Through years of working with these children and their families, and raising five children myself, I have seen them thrive when given the chance to flourish. As the burden of sameness has been lifted and they step into a future defined by themselves and not limited by others, a true unveiling of potential can be seen.

It is my hope that this book will encourage and strengthen parents as they make choices and become empowered to advocate for their children.

This book is dedicated to the thousands of parents who feel the world is trying to tell them that their child is a misfit. Originally this book was titled Raising a Square Peg in a Round Hole World, but after consideration, I felt the title needed to scream what many parents are screaming inside My kid’s OK!

So, to parents everywhere, this book is written to help you navigate the voices of a society that are blind to the truth that every child is different, and there is room, no, there is NEED for every single one.

Warmest regards,

Ellen Brown

Introduction

Ever feel like the world has been turned upside down? The minority speaks loudest, and the majority shrinks back for fear of being wrong. In this case, MOST children, and people in general, fit somewhere around the edge of the small inner circle of those considered normal. Normal is actually a minority, who for many years have been able to silence others into believing that if we act like them, talk like them, and think like them, that they too will be embraced into the circle of lucky normal ones. The glaring problem and largely ignored fact is that the most outstanding, talented, ingenious and creative people in the history of the world did not fit into that circle!!

It is time to shift our focus from strategies developed to make everyone the same, to celebrating the vast array of humankind and the gift that this provides. Differentness does not need to be fixed!

This book aims to uncover the truth behind those children locked out of the inner circle. To those parents who often find themselves looking inward and asking themselves, What is wrong with my child? The answer to that question is a resounding NOTHING!

A glance at the front desks of classrooms or the honour roll award winners gives the impression these are the successful ones. Successful at what? Let’s take a closer look. To be successful in the classroom, you must ignore your inner passions, interests and inquisitive nature. You will need to focus instead on finding out what your teacher wants from you. You must care deeply about what others think, as a sideways move or piece or work that stands out is not meeting the criteria set for the lesson. In short, you must become a yes person. And as it happens, this was exactly why school was created in the first place.

Strangely, exceptional thinkers, outstanding artists, and people who have gone on to develop and create the most influential businesses and art were those for whom school deemed failures. For example:

Rihanna

As a child growing up in Barbados, Rihanna was bullied by classmates because of her appearance. I got teased my entire school life, the singer told Glamour in 2013. What they were picking on, I don’t even understand. It was my skin colour [which was lighter than her classmates]. Then when I got older, it was about my body.

Kate Middleton

Kate Middleton is in the top echelon in British society, but even she couldn’t escape bullying as a teenager. Middleton’s brief stint at Downe House girls’ boarding school was marred by bullying over her appearance and reputation as quite a soft and nice person, Middleton’s childhood friend Jessica Hay said in 2011. Her experience was so traumatic that upon her wedding to Prince William, the couple directed their wedding guests to donate to the charity BeatBullying, among other organisations.

Elon Musk

Business mogul Elon Musk was relentlessly bullied as a child in South Africa, his family said in 2012. Musk was picked on for being the youngest and smallest guy in his school, his mother told Esquire. Musk’s brother added that Kids gave Elon a very hard time.

See more in inspirational overcomers in later chapters.

As you have seen, large numbers of people, whom the world hold up as successes, were in fact deemed failures at school. This can only lead one to believe that school, in its current form, is not the only way of preparing our young people to thrive.

People are intricate. We all have different fears, ambitions, passions, frustrations and so on. We all have challenges.

Our children are being bullied; they are suffering from anxiety and depression. They are navigating the challenges of Autism and Asperger’s in a world that does not take the time to understand. They are diagnosed with a raft of disorders and complex learning challenges. Yet inside each child, indeed inside each person, there is unlimited potential