Awakening #Three: The Journals Trilogy

By D.M. Earl

I'm safe. 

And so is my family, all because of the sacrifice Stone made to save us. I don't know what has happened to Stone or Walker, but I believe in my heart that Stone will do everything he can to make sure Walker never comes near us again. I know he's out there, and I can not allow myself to think otherwise. He will come back to me, to us. 

So until that happens, and knowing that, I need to work to make my family, and myself whole again. Life can bring unexpected joys and sorrows, and it's up to me to begin the healing process for us all. I need to be strong and that's what I plan to do. I'm no longer a victim because Stone showed me that I was so much more.

Life is worth living.

My name is Quinn, and as I awaken from my dark past, and violent present, I will start to live. 

The future has never been so bright. 


Authors Note: This is a dark romance. Due to content, this book should be read only by those over the age of 18.

• Language: English
• Publisher: D.M. Earl
• Release date: May 8, 2020
• ISBN: 9781542505376

Book preview

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Margreet Asselbergs my Formatter and Illustrator of everything I write. She has designed all seven of my covers. She is dedicated to her craft and has the patience of a saint. When Margreet is done, the book is ready for print. But most importantly, she has become a very dear friend. Thank you for all you do for me. I truly appreciate it.

Karen Hrdlicka my Editor of this book. Karen is a true professional and has assisted me with some other projects, including the re-edit of Connelly’s Horde from the Wheels & Hogs series. She is efficient, timely, and works with me and my OCD. Thanks, Karen for giving me your best every time.  I’m honored to partner with you on my book babies.

Katie Harder-Schauer my Proofreader for my books. Thank you for always squeezing me in and making sure my books are as close to perfect as they can be. I truly appreciate the tender loving care you take with my books.

Laura Trujillo the best PA in the world or at least my world. Girl, there are not enough words to express my gratitude for all you do for me. Just know that I love you dearly and appreciate you always.

Beta Readers a huge thank you to all the betas who take time to read either a chapter here or there or the finished unedited copy. Your input helps me make sure my characters and storyline are tight and on the right path.

D.M.’s Horde my Readers’ Group. This group is filled with such wonderful people, who are there everyday, and we have become more of a family than a Facebook group. Truly, your support and love has gotten me through so much this past year, and I will always be grateful. Your love of reading is making my dream come true.

D.M. Earl’s Book Babes. No words can express how all of your constant pimping, sharing and being there always for me means to me.  I am forever in your debt.  Missy, Nancy, Pam, Linda, January, April and Tee you are making my dream come true one day at a time.

Bloggers, without ya’ll I would still be struggling with trying to figure all this Indie world out. I appreciate each and every one of you for every post, comment, share, and helping me get my name out there.

Authors, to all of my author friends, which is a list I am happy to say keeps growing, who have helped me along the way. Thanks for sharing your shortcuts and knowledge. I value your input and treasure your friendships.

Together we can all succeed if we just help each other out.

Readers, without each and every one of you, I would still be sitting with my first book, going nowhere. Your love of reading and openness to what an author creates amazes me. I am in your debt because your love of reading is giving me the opportunity of a lifetime. Allowing me to live my dream.

DEDICATIONS

To my girls: Freya, Brook, Dana, Chris, Karen, Jaci C, AC, Ashleigh, LB, and so many others who have become like an extended family. Thanks for listening, supporting, and being there for me. I luv all of ya.

To my husband Chuck, or as you all know him, The Duke. I have no words to express how much your support for this crazy ass dream of mine means to me. You are my Rock and knowing you are there always makes my heart happy. Thank you, baby.

To all the readers who support, purchase, read, fall in love with my characters, and interact with me on a daily basis. You will never know how much you mean to me.

Finally, even though this story comes from my head, to anyone who has ever had to endure something like Quinn did, please never give up. Fight with all your might because it isn’t your fault, and you deserve the best life you can have. Don’t let the person or persons who have hurt you win. Just LIVE!

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Enjoy this Ride we call Life!!

PROLOGUE

As I struggle to wake from my dark dreams, his scent is around me. As my subconscious fights to awaken, the heat at my back makes me feel sure he is here with me, holding my back to his front. Feeling the weight of him pressing into me feels so fucking good. I have felt so alone since he left with Walker but even more worried I wouldn't ever see him again; that would be because of me and all of my bullshit. As my eyes start to open, the warmth at my back leaves instantly and the feeling of being alone is back tenfold. By the time I am fully alert, and before I turn around, I already know that I am alone, again. Was I dreaming or was Stone really here? From everything I can see, there is no proof that he has been holding me close, making me feel alive again. But his scent is in the room; I can smell it, damn it. As I get up, sniffing the room, Johnny walks in carrying a cup of coffee for me, not from the hospital. He looks my way and lifts his eyebrow.

What's up, Quinn, did something happen during the night to Ivy? You look like you've seen a ghost. Talk to me, Quinn. Please, fuck, tell me what is going on.

I turn and walk to him, reaching out for him. He immediately pulls me in and holds on tight. I never thought I would want anyone to hold me, comfort me, but it feels so Goddamn good.

Ivy is fine, Johnny. Today is the day, remember? They are reversing the coma and bringing her back to us. I just, well; can you smell that? The cologne that Stone always wears, I smell it in this room. Why? He hasn't been back, let alone in here, since Ivy was moved. I could swear he was here with us earlier, Johnny. I could feel his arms around me in my sleep and his heat at my back. Am I losing my fucking mind? Have you heard anything about Stone and Walker since they left? I am so fucking worried. If Walker isn't dead, how do we go on? Move forward, always looking over our shoulders? Two steps forward and then five back? We have been living like that for ten years. I can't do it anymore. Johnny, please tell me you have something for me. I can't go on like this, dude, not one more fucking minute longer. My family is still in hiding, my best friend is struggling to stay alive, and I have no motherfucking clue where Stone is. Talk to me, Johnny. I smell him in here, I smell him.

Johnny tightens his hold on me and I feel his breath by my ear. Not in a couple's sensual way but more of a supporting way.

Quinn, babe, calm the fuck down. First off, yes, I have received word but not here. Let's go to the lounge, don't want to talk about it here. You good to get out of here for a bit?

Yes, I believe Spirit is on her way up here. Ivy should be fine for a couple of minutes, if we are just down the hall. I'll text Spirit and let her know. Can you give me a minute or two?

Johnny just nods and goes over to Ivy's side. He leans in whispering in her ear then gives her a tender kiss on her forehead. Giving her hand a squeeze, he turns and walks directly to the door, then out. Taking a minute, I send off a short text to Spirit, move to give my friend a kiss, and then head out of Ivy's room to find Johnny. I pray that he has word not only of Walker's death but that Stone is alive and on his way back to me...no, to all of us. I can't imagine life without him in it; after all we have been through. The past and present were supposed to be stepping stones to our future. Right now, I don't see a future at all.

CHAPTER 1

Walking down the hospital corridor, I see Diesel, Spirit, and Johnny all standing in the family waiting area. Not getting a good vibe, I continue toward the group. Johnny stops talking as soon as he sees me, and they all turn in my direction. Diesel gives me a head nod, while Spirit gives me her usual look of greeting. Something is up; I've been around these three for a while now and know all their different faces.

Hey guys, let's cut the bullshit, what's up?

Both Johnny and Diesel look taken aback but not Spirit. She knows me and how I am; don't have time for playing any games. When she looks back at me, I almost see a bit of something in her eyes, something like pride, but she closes down and it is gone.

Quinn, let’s sit and talk. Not sure how to take the information I have received. Need to fill you in on some things I'm thinking Stone hasn't had the chance to speak to you about yet. Come on, Ivy will be fine. Spirit is gonna go be with Ivy  in a minute. Right after she has her say.

Looking first at Johnny, then Spirit, finally moving on to Diesel, all of whom have their game faces on, I shrug my shoulders. I don't have a fucking game face so my emotions are showing. Whatever they want to do, I'll play along as long as they tell me Stone's whereabouts.

So what do you have for me, Johnny? Don't give me the usual shit; I want the truth right now. What happened to Walker and Stone? I know he was here today, don't deny it.

At this they all look at each other then back at me. From the closed look on their faces, I can feel my pulse increasing. Fuck, I am right; Stone was here. He is alive. But why isn't he just coming to me? Doesn't he know how much I need him right now?

Quinn, calm the fuck down and lower you voice. Remember we are always bein’ watched, no matter where your ass is. We are gonna share everything we know, but it stays between us. No one can know because it will put all of us in danger. Spirit, tell her what you found out.

From my sources, it has been confirmed that Walker is dead.

Not hearing anything else but that that vile piece of shit is finally dead, I feel my legs giving out as Diesel leans in, holding me up and getting me safely to a chair. He gently puts my ass down into the chair and stands to the side of me; hand on my shoulder.

Quinn, breathe slowly. In and out. Come on, honey, you can do this. Just breathe.

Diesel continues to very quietly instruct me on how to get control of my emotions, reminding me to keep taking breaths in and out. Once I seem to have it under control again, Spirt steps right in front of me, squatting down, holding onto my knees.

Girl, I know that to have that particular wish come true is so Goddamn overwhelming, but hold it together ‘cause we have more to share with you. So yeah, Walker is dead. We got word from an undercover operative who made contact. Walker is dead because of this operative and Stone. They went against specific orders and made sure Walker could never hurt you again. Problem is, they can't be seen because all the agencies involved want them brought in and dealt with. Now this is gonna hurt you, and I'm sorry girl, but you need to know what is probably going to come your way. Stone had this operative working undercover in Walker's crew. You need to prepare yourself, because we need to bring you up to speed. But, Quinn, look at me, this is gonna hurt bad. And I mean really bad, babe. You ready?

My body is already violently shaking as I stare at Spirit, knowing by the look and surprising emotions running through her face that I need to prepare for her next words. Don't know how I know, just something is about to happen that is going to throw me for a

Reviews for Awakening #Three

[marinakoulouri · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

One of the most amazing experiences it was reading is this masterpiece of women's literature about a woman struggling to find her own place in a world of men, where not only her public view but also essentially her needs are exclusively dictated by her social roles, in this case as a wife and mother. It is not that it was a marvellous read, with such beautiful writing, it was the shock of thinking how little has actually changed since the 19th century status of a woman. Because even today women have to struggle with their roles as mothers, wives and workers. And if they so happen as to also have intellectual or artistic concerns, like painting in the case of Chopin's protagonist, Edna, then it is a constant battle with time and decision making, what to leave behind. Edna only understands that she can rely on no one else but herself in the end, and it is devastating to discover that not even her so called liberators would allow her the freedom they allegedly lead her to find. Although I am not in favour of suicide as a road to emancipation, I like to believe that Edna's drowning is not out of despair but an ultimate act of free will, a declaration of self-determination, a statement that she is eventually mistress of herself and, if she chooses, it is her prerogative to take away from her "rulers" the very object of their rule. The Awakening is really among the books I would like to have been able to read again for the first time, but it is also a book that you can read again and again, each time discovering something new to contemplate on.

[ysmng_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Good read. A woman trapped in a role as mother and wife and is not content. Taking into consideration that it was first published in 1899, this novel speaks volumes on women and self identity.

[es135_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I absolutely hated the way this novel ended! While the novel, I suppose, provided an interesting character study, the ending was like that one piece of garlic in an otherwise tasty apple pie. It ruined this novel for me.

[ithilwyn · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This book is always a bit difficult for me to read, but it's just so touching. Chopin really makes me feel Edna's confusion. The end always makes me cry.

[scottcholstad · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Required reading in too many English classes, normally I would hate such a text, but this actually is pretty good, and has always been very relevant. It stands the test of time like few do. Not my favorite period or writer, but among the best of each. Recommended.

[vikkilaw · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I read this book in either junior high or high school and, even though my circumstances were very different than the protagonist's, I identified so strongly with the feeling of being confined and restricted and just wanting to break free.

[thatotter-1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Really did not sympathize with the protagonist.

[gmillar_8 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I enjoyed this book. I didn't expect to. The language used and the character pictures painted were really good. The only thing that stopped me from another half star was the ending. I didn't see it coming so it was good from that aspect but it left me high and dry and unhappy. I guess that makes it good too, a good novel should extract emotion from the reader. However, this old romantic would have liked something a bit more positive.

[ireed110 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

I found this to be a frustrating story. There were no characters that I really liked. The women were snobby and self-absorbed, the men distant and self-absorbed. I never really felt any empathy for Edna until close to the end of the story, and then, the story was over. Very unsatisfying.

[susanbevans · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

This is a beautifully written brilliant story. An American classic about a woman's awakening to find her true self and her subsequent quest for independence.

[citizenjoyce · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I know this book supposed to be about the woman's sexual awakening and her awakening to the fact that, as a good wife and mother she's expected to subsume herself in the happiness of her family and she refuses to do such a thing. I was a little disappointed, though, that the only way she could think of expressing herself and asserting her individuality was through romance which I find to be many a woman's downfall and far from the meaning of life.

[bellebooks117 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

First posted on bellesbeautifulbooks.blogspot.comI didn't finish this book at about 70 pages. I just couldn't get into the writing, and story. The characters were very blah. I can't side with a woman who cheats on her husband, and I can't side with a husband who treats his wife as his property. I don't like reading about a cheater.I can see why people love this book, but it just wasn't me. It is a feminist piece of literature, and I'm not a feminist. I did not like reading this for school.

[hadriantheblind · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

Dry and painful to read. The Awakening, a droll recounting of personal mistakes, will surely put anyone to sleep who attempts to read it.

[mthelibrarian_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

The Awakening? The ending is more like The Darkening (not to mention "The Hours" and "Madame Bovary.") My edition included some reviews from the 1899 publication date which were interesting. Even Willa Cather trounced the book at the end of her review. I've been meaning to read this one for years, though. Certainly the ending was a surprise.

[mausergem_1 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This is a story of Edna Pontellier, a affluent middle aged woman who is depressed and is going through mid life crisis. She readily fall in love with younger men and encourages other men. This book when it was published in 1899 had created a great scandal but today it will just count as a sad story of a depressed woman.

[tpoi_2 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Early feminist work. Important but depressing.

[themasterkey3000 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I really like this.

[etxgardener · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Regarded as highly scandalous when it was published in 1898, this story of a young wife who is bored with her lie as a proper wife and mother in late 19th Century New Orleans and seeks out her own independent life, seems fairly run of the mill in the 21st Century. It is, however, well written and held my interest from beginning to end.

[suzannepalmieri · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Probably one of the most important books I've read... and I always forget about it! Forced to read in high school I fell in love with literature. And then, re-read as an adult... as a writer... simply unforgettable. I turn to it again and again for work with transitions and scenery. Brilliant.

[bcrowl399 · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This was somewhat difficult to read, mainly because of the writing style of the time period, I think. I was overly dramatic. There were some lovely passages of description and I understood the point of the story, but the style was a little clumsy.

[threeara · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

i read this for school and really liked it. the metaphors are a little overboard but presented with nice images, the romance addictive (the love interest is my favorite character!), and the ending, well, i doubt you'd see it coming. It's very much about women's rights, and it's pretty old. People tend to either love or hate it-i loved it...

[tngolden_1 · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

SHUDDER! Egads, I had to read this again and again in my undergrad literature career. Each time I found the main character not only unsympathetic, but revolting. Gah! And no, I'm not handing in my feminist card just because I hate this book!

[hhaddad1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

This book is about the journey of a woman and how she struggles with trying to decide what is best versus what she is supposed to do or think according to society. This book brings attention to women's issues back in the day. The book is not really my style, therefore i really did not enjoy it.

[sealford_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

As much as I enjoyed "A Doll's House," I actually enjoyed this one even more. It is amazing to me to read about women who finally decide to leave their gilded cage and in turn do something so dramatic. I don't want to give the ending away for those who haven't read it yet, but suffice it to say that it is very intense and a beautiful tragedy. I have read this many times and I still enjoy it each time.

[cassandrat-1 · Rating: 1 out of 5 stars]

If only we might all be so irresponsible in the name of emancipation.

[daniellamarie29 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I absolutely fell in love with book when I first read it in 11th grade. I love Edna and her persistence to become independent from her family. She goes on to live by herself and leave her family behind, which was considered sacrilegious during Edna's life.

[amandacb_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

It's been a few years since I've read this, but my overall impression of it was very dreamlike. The entire (rather short) book felt like a dream sequence. Yes, it's depressing, but it's also very powerful and moving. Give it a read if you haven't done so!

[bness2 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Well written romantic. feminist tragedy. Considered a classic. The main character needed a good therapist. :-)

[junesong · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

I loved this book. Edna is such a bold character. It really shows the beginnings of marrying for love instead of money and social status. Even though it was wrong of Edna to leave her husband, Robert opened her mind to a different kind of love.

[cinesnail88 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

This was an English class assigned read, but really I think it might have been the nicest one all year. Despite how much I disliked the character of Edna, the book itself brought up excellent points and was written exceedingly well. Definitely worth the time spent on it.