Bi & Prejudice

By Anna Kochetkova

The areas where we find it most difficult to exist as bisexuals, are the most vulnerable parts of patriarchy.

Bisexuality has yet to see its liberation from the grip of stigma and misunderstanding. As we continue evolving our language, inviting more self-awareness and acceptance, conversations like the

• Language: English
• Publisher: Debut Books
• Release date: Oct 4, 2021
• ISBN: 9780648937555

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Published by Debut Books

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Bi & Prejudice by Anna Kochetkova

Published by Debut Books

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debutbooks.com.au

First published 2021

Text © Anna Kochetkova 2021

Design © Debut Books

The moral right of Anna Kochetkova to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted.

All rights reserved

Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the publisher of this book.

For any copyright queries, please email Debut Books at [e-mail]

ISBN 9780648937548 (Print)

ISBN 9780648937555 (eBook)

Editorial by Amy Lovat

Design by Katherine Larsen

Typesetting by Blue Wren Books

Printed in Australia by McPherson’s Printing Group

I want to acknowledge and pay my respects to the traditional custodians of the stolen land on which I have written this book. I want to acknowledge the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation, on whose land I reside, and all Indigenous peoples of the colonised country I am a citizen of by choice. I want to acknowledge and pay my gratitude to all multisexual First Nations peoples who came before me, and pay my respect to Elders past, present and emerging.

Being able to write this book on this unceded land, and the privilege of my wellbeing, comes at the cost of the traditional owners of Country who were deprived of their rights. I want to acknowledge that we wouldn’t even have a (colonial) process for publishing books — including mine — if not for the genocide of the First Nations peoples. This is an idea for all of us to reflect on.

With sadness and gratitude,

Anna

I am dedicating my words to those who dare to choose their own path despite their culture, their fear and doubts.

This book discusses sexual identity, childhood trauma, mental health, racism, homophobia, and the Bla(c)k Lives Matter movement and its associated #AllLivesMatter.

Some readers who identify with the rainbow community may find some stories, references, and conversations tough to read. Please take your time and be kind to yourself.

A note from the publisher

Here at Debut Books, we understand the power of language, for good and the not-so-good. We are careful to examine and think critically about the language choices we make, acknowledging that we will not always get it right. Different words hold very different meanings for each of us based on our individual experiences.

There are times in this book when the word ‘slut’ is used. It is a word that is loaded with harmful and dangerous stereotyping and although there are some people who wish to reclaim it, it is still a word that is most commonly used and viewed in a negative way.

It has dual meaning — the first relates to a person who is deemed ‘too sexually active’, usually pronounced by a person, group or community. The use of this word in that context is usually a product of poor sex education, patriarchal hierarchies, and a limited worldview.

‘Slut’ is also used to scrutinise, shame and blame young women (predominantly) for the ways that they choose to dress and behave. The use of ‘slut’ in this book reflects both harmful stereotypes, because that is the experience of Anna, the author. Her internalised thoughts of what it means to perform as a straight woman and how to please others, gain approval and receive love, are the result of the prejudiced and judgemental thinking of others around her.

No person, regardless of age, outfit or behaviour, is ever deserving of such treatment, nor should they be blamed for any acts of violence perpetuated against them.

The views, opinions and experiences of the author are her own, and do not represent the views of all people who identify as bisexual. The word ‘slut’ is at times negatively associated with bisexuality, fuelling stigma and stereotyping. In this book, it is often used as Anna’s opinion of herself at certain times in her life, and as such has little to do with sexual orientation.

Anna’s use of ‘slut’ represents the ways that her experiences and actions have been reflected back to her from family, peers and the societies she has lived in. It represents the harmful ways that dominant narratives, stigma, shame and stereotypes are internalised, shaping how we relate to and treat ourselves (and, in turn, others).

The outcomes of the author’s upbringing, and the definitions and ideas perpetuated in the society at the time, resulted in Anna embodying and believing things about herself that have led her to the stories and ideas shared in this book.

It reinforces why we — collectively — need to challenge the dominant narratives and fight for better education and alternative points of view.

Bi & Prejudice is an exploration of one person’s journey to understanding their sexuality in the context of uncovering sexual and