Mandy's Story: Courage: Finding Herself, #1

By Erica Whelton

Mandy has been neglected and abused for years by the one person who should love her most; her mother. One night push comes to shove, literally, and she is now in charge of her own life and that of her siblings for the first time. She's petrified and elated at the same time. 

But life isn't fair, and Mandy must fight to keep her family together.

Thanks to good friends who have her back and encourage her, she digs deep to find the courage she needs to fight for her siblings and value herself, and possibly find her first love.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sunseri Design Publishing
• Release date: Sep 24, 2021
• ISBN: 9781956069075

Book preview

Chapter Two: Mandy

The next day Mama was quiet, too quiet. She didn’t drink or have her friends over as she usually did. For most of my life, she’d been predictable, drinking too much, partying too hard, taking out her life’s problems on me. The silence scared me more than her wrath.

Each day I was nervous about leaving the kids, but I had to work so we could eat. None of my neighbors were available to babysit for me, not even Ms. Graham, who was always willing to help. She was nursing a bad ankle, which made it near impossible for her to run after two young children, even as well behaved as Missy and little Davy were.

I tried to finish all my houses quickly, and since most of the homes were within walking distance, I could easily stop by between clients to check on things.

After a week of paranoia, I let my guard down a bit, not stopping by to check on them as I should have, but she hadn’t done anything in a week, and things had started to feel a bit more normal. I was beginning to think things were going to be okay.

However, I should’ve known it wouldn’t last. That’s how life was at times. When you let your guard down, or too much good is happening, something awful follows, or maybe that was just my life.

One afternoon, I arrived home to find the little kids crying hysterically on the living room floor. Missy was trying to comfort little Davy but was not doing a good job as she was crying too hard herself. When I walked into the house, they ran to me, throwing themselves into my arms.

Missy sniffed, Mama’s gone, Mandy, Mama’s gone.

What? I asked, thinking I hadn’t heard her correctly.

I wouldn’t expect them to be upset about her being gone. Maybe they were simply scared of the unknown like I suddenly was. This was both frightening and a dream come true.

Mama’s gone. She packed some things and left. Missy said through choked sobs.

Gone? Did she say where she was going? Did she say anything? I was trying to keep my voice calm, but in my shocked state, I don’t think I pulled it off.

She said ... she said she was going away and never comin’ back. She left this. Missy handed me a crumpled, soggy piece of paper.

I read it and then reread it to ensure I understood it correctly.

Mandy,

I’m done. I can’t do this anymore. Since you think you know so much, you can have the kids. Here’s your chance to prove that you’re better than me. Don’t fuck it up as I did!

Love,

Mama

She was really gone. My wish had come true, but the timing was awful, I wasn’t prepared, and I wanted this on my terms, not hers.

I felt the room spin, so I sat down without saying a word. I didn’t know what to say or what to think.

Immediately my brain started hopping from thought to thought. What was happening? What was I going to do? I had almost raised myself to this point and was raising two children, but this was different. There was no adult over eighteen in the house, at least not yet. Soon I would be.

How was I going to pay the bills? I had some money from working, sure, but was it enough to pay the electric bill, water bill, cable, and phone bills each and every month? Maybe for a few months, but then what? And, when were they due? Had Mama paid them for this month?

I made enough to handle our food and clothes, and I saved as much as possible. I shopped with coupons, sales, and menu planned carefully. Without Mama around, and more specifically, her partying friends, the food should last us longer, so that part should be easily doable.

Then there was the house. I know there wasn’t a mortgage, but I thought I had heard about property taxes and insurance. I think I could handle the monthly bills with what I had managed to save plus my work cleaning, at least for a little while, but I didn’t know if I’d be able to pay property taxes and insurance. So, I’d have to research those to see if I could afford them.

When grandmother died, she left Mama the house, her car, and a large cash inheritance. I didn’t know if there was any of it left or if I had any right to access it. I doubted it. Mama’s drinking and partying started after grandmother passed, and she probably drank it all away. I would have to investigate that later too.

Too many questions and not enough answers right now, and I realized the little kids were looking for my reaction. Looking down at their red, tear-streaked faces, I shook myself out of my own shock, putting a happy facade for their benefit.

Do y’all want a snack? How about some TV?

Yay, yeah. They cheered, but the joy was slightly muted.

I sliced up an apple and an orange, then got them settled in front of the TV. One of their favorite Disney movies was on. It would be a good distraction while figuring out what to do.

While they were busy with the movie, I took the opportunity to start sifting through piles of bills on Mama’s desk. I found all the ones I knew of; electric, gas, water, and cable combined with our home phone line. We were one of the few people in the area who still had a landline.

Good. One less bill. I muttered to myself.

Nothing about the inheritance from grandmother. I did see a few of Mama’s bank statements, but my name wasn’t on it, so I had no right to any of that money. She actually had quite a bit.

It looked like all the bills had recently been paid, so that was at least a positive. In addition, it meant I had a little bit of time to figure out how much I had in all the jars and cans I had hidden in the yard over the years from my years of saving and hoarding.

Maybe I should consider finding a full-time job somewhere if my neighbors were all still willing to help babysit the little kids. I really hated to take advantage of them all the time. For now, my priority was to feed them and act like everything was normal.

I organized and stacked up all the bills to go through in more detail later. I was thankful Mama had been good at keeping up with bills, despite her flaws like drinking and beating us. However, we’d always had a home with power and water. Never slept on the street, and I was always clean. But, I have learned that not everyone can say that.

"Yay for small successes," I thought sarcastically.

I pushed away from the desk and headed to the living room to check on the kids. They were happily munching their fruit and watching the movie. Missy caught me looking at them and smiled brightly at me before turning her attention back toward the television.

Their eyes were puffy from crying, but most of the redness had gone. They weren’t doing the hiccupping thing any longer.

I sat down with them to watch the end of the movie. Little Davy climbed into my lap. It was the little things like this that I loved.

When the show ended, I took them outside to play. Anything to keep the kids’ minds and bodies busy so they didn't think about the change. Plus, I often took them out after work. I liked to keep us as close to a routine as possible, Mama sometimes got in the way of that, but I tried.

After a few games, I went inside to start making dinner and let them continue playing. I would make their favorite, spaghetti with meatballs, which I had already planned to make today. Funny how things work.

As I cooked, I watched them from the window. They ran, laughed, and played without a care in the World. I was glad to see them acting like regular little kids and that the drama of Mama leaving hadn’t impacted them too much, just the bit of crying when I first got home. Time would tell if it would have any long-term effects on them.

I had worked hard to shield them from her so they could grow and develop as children. I couldn’t tell if it had worked, but compared to others their age, they seemed a bit more reserved and mature.

Once everything was ready, I got them in and washed up for dinner. They were such good eaters, so that made my job easier. I was proud of how well they ate and worked hard to provide food. I remembered it all too well and was thankful for all those that helped me along the way, so I didn’t go entirely without.

Missy was back to her old self. She chatted away and told me about their games.

... and then Davy jumped over the bucket, and I missed him. I almost tripped, but I didn’t. I’m too quick to fall. I stifled a laugh because I knew she believed that. I finally caught him when he went around the tree, but I went around the other way.

Davy giggled and nodded along with her story.

After dinner, I cleaned up while the kids played in the backyard. Missy would make up various games and adventures, directing Davy in adventuring. Once I overheard them taking an African safari and another. They were fish underwater. She was a clownfish, and he was a swordfish. I loved her imagination and that she was helping to build his.

Tonight’s adventure was pirates looking for buried treasure.

Arr, Pirate Davy, we need to find the treasure. Arr, let’s look at the map. Missy said.

Arr ... Arrr ... Davy seemed to like the pirate word.

Once I was satisfied with the kitchen, I joined the kids outside. It was such a perfect evening. We got out here as much as possible. Our house was sad, dirty, and depressing, even though I tried to keep it as clean as possible.

It started to get dark, so I got them in for their baths, story, and bed—all part of our nightly routine. Part of our routine was me reading to them each night. Currently, we are enjoying Charlotte’s Web.

I’d recently taught Missy to read. She loved to practice and would often ask to read small parts of the books. Though some were above her reading level, we would work together to sound them out. She tried really hard and was getting better with practice and time.

After storytime, I tucked them in, kissed them, wishing them goodnight. It was only then that I could fall apart.

I wandered into the living room and sank into the old couch, letting out a little half moan and half sigh. For so long, I’d daydreamed about being free of Mama. But on my terms, not hers.

It all came down to money. It had always been something I strived for and one of the many reasons I’d started my business.

While it began as an escape from Mama, her friends, and her parties, it became much more in time. Finally, I had freedoms and could provide things Mama wasn’t willing to, like food and clothing.

Also, when I first started, I tried to keep more than I spent by hiding it in various jars and containers in the backyard. Then, to ensure I saved it and didn’t spend it, I made a rule that what went in stayed in the container. Then, if I needed to spend something extra, the following deposit might be lighter, and I didn’t keep as much that payday.

I had no idea how much I could possibly have out there and really needed to get out to my backyard stash to see just how fruitful all that work had been.

I took another second to wallow in my pity party before I jumped up, thinking now was a good time to start digging. It had gotten dark enough to conceal what I was doing. I didn’t need to give the neighbors anymore gossip.

Not that Ms. Graham would, but Mrs. Maxwell, on the other side of us, might. She was the worst gossip ever.

I tried not to think of her as I started digging up my money. It took a while in the dark to find all my hiding spots, and once done, I’d hoped that was all of them.

I had started out at thirty dollars a week helping one neighbor. It slowly grew to a few more people over time, and now I was working for ten customers that paid me anywhere from fifty to seventy-five dollars a week. They would sometimes give me a tip or a little extra around Christmas.

In the first couple of years, I’d saved almost every dollar I received, taking out small amounts for my basic needs, like clothes that fit and food. However, I have been the sole provider for two children for the last few years, at least for their food and clothing needs.

Not to mention that Mama allowed her friends to eat our food, the food that I bought. She had no respect for me or the little kids. I had to buy more than we needed, so we had enough and would hide the non-perishable items so they couldn’t find them.

I didn’t mind providing for my brother and sister, but I did mind providing for Mama and her friends. That money spent was wasted and could have been used for our escape.

Now I guess it didn’t matter; the trash had taken itself out, so to speak. My hope was that she would stay away forever.

I brought my nest egg into the house. It took several trips and represented nearly six years of saving. Finally, I kneeled down on the floor to count it out.

When I was done, I couldn’t believe how much I had, nearly $30,000. Of course, I had to count it two more times to make sure, but it was, in fact, correct.

I sat back on my heels and stared down at my small fortune.

Not bad for a kid doing yard work and housecleaning for neighbors, I said as I fought the urge to roll around in it.

Instead, I recounted once more to triple-check because I couldn’t believe it. This was no small success this time. This was a huge success. It was almost unbelievable, but that was my life.

I might actually be able to make this happen without Mama. Of course, it would take a lot of budgeting, organization, and planning, but clearly, I made enough to support us, and if I could get a part-time job, it would help us that much more.

Tomorrow I would open an actual bank account since that was probably a better option than hiding it in the backyard. But, for now, I decided to hide the money for the night. So, I split it into three piles to hide in three different places in the house.

To say I was paranoid would be an understatement, especially with that much cash, and after the childhood I had, who could blame me for a moment or two of paranoia? I checked every window and door twice to ensure they were all locked and a third time for my uneasiness.

I checked on the little kids. They were sleeping peacefully. I wandered around the house, picking up a few stray toys, a random sock, and a shoe. Then I grabbed my pillow and blanket, so I could sleep on the couch for the night.

I slept restlessly. The slightest sound woke me up. What if she comes back drunk? What if she tries to take the kids? I could call the Sheriff, but I doubted seventeen-year-old half-sister had as much right to them as their mother did, so I didn’t think I had a leg to stand on if she tried to take them.

Ha, mother. She didn’t even know what the word meant. Nearly everyone in town would side with me on this, but it wouldn’t matter if she took them just minutes away from here. We were strangers outside of Glenn Lake. Another benefit of small-town living but a huge disadvantage when you live near a large metropolitan area like Houston. She could take them there and disappear. Nobody would know us as they did here in Glenn Lake.

If she did, there was a good chance I would never see them again. That thought made me indescribably sad. I couldn’t even let myself imagine it.

Chapter Three: Mandy

The kids woke up happy and bouncy, less stressed than most days.

Good morning, Mandy! Missy said, hopping into her seat at the table.

I set a bowl of cereal in front of her, kissed her head, and then helped Davy into his chair, giving him cereal. I kissed his head too.

Good morning, sweeties. Did you sleep well?

I did. I had the bestest dream ever. It was about kitties. I love kitties. She chatted away while Davy ate his cereal and nodded along with her.

Today was the first day of our new life. I had to open a bank account, find a regular babysitter, and get a part-time job to supplement my housecleaning job. I also had two houses scheduled, so it would be even busier than usual.

After breakfast, I dressed them, packed a bag, and headed next door to Ms. Graham’s house. I hated asking, but I needed them somewhere safe while running my errands.

Good morning, Ms. Graham, I said when she opened the door.

Ms. Graham was a special person in our lives. She had run not one but two successful businesses that she started from the ground up and when that was rare for women. Yet, she had never married nor had children. I didn’t quite know the reason as she was a beautiful, sweet, and thoughtful person.

In her youth, she had reddish-brown colored hair that appeared to always be styled to the trend of the time. Her clothing choices also appeared to be in keeping with the fashion trends. I’d seen some pictures of her in the late seventies, and she was wearing a long Edwardian-inspired lace trim prairie dress, and in another, she wore a corduroy wrap shirt dress. She always looked stunning.

Even now, at eight in the morning, she was wearing pearls, and her white hair was perfectly styled into a French twist.

The kids ran to her, Grammy!

She came up with this nickname for them to call her. It was a play on her last name and her being like a grandmother to them.

Oh, good morning, dears. Are you scheduled to do work for me today? I thought ... She trailed off as she hugged the little kids.

Oh no, not today. I wanted to ask if you’d watch them for me this morning. Sorry, it's last minute.

Mama left us, Missy added flatly. Little Davy nodded his head.

Oh, my. She quickly looked at me, Yes, yes. Of course, I can watch them for you. As long as you need. She gestured for us to come in.

Thank you. I just need to walk into town to handle a few things. From where we lived, downtown Glenn Lake was close enough to walk to. Since I didn’t drive, it worked out well for me. I need to open a bank account. I also want to start applying for jobs.

Oh? You’re not going to clean any longer? She asked.

I’ll still clean houses, but I feel like I need a little more income.

She nodded. Do you want me to drive you? I know you can walk, but it would be easier to do all that in the car.

No, I’ll be okay. It’ll be good for me to clear my head. Plus, it’s a nice day.

Yes, it’s lovely today. Well, take your time, and if you need me to watch them this afternoon so you can do houses, I’d be happy to keep them longer.

I don’t want to impose, I stated.

No imposition at all.  She looked down at the kids, We will have so much fun. Maybe we can go over to the park and then make cookies.

Oh, yay! I want to go to the park. Missy said, jumping up and down.

Cookie, cookie! Davy chanted.

They each had their own agenda. Ms. Graham and I chuckled.

I really, really appreciate it. I really do. Thank you!

As I was leaving, I wished I had a cell phone. I was probably one of the few seventeen-year-olds without one, but I figured I might need one now. First, of course, I’d have to stop by the hardware store to see if it were doable on the budget I had set for myself. I know an odd place for cell phones, but that is where they were in our town.

When I stepped into the bank, Mr. Mulroney instantly greeted me. He owned and managed the bank. His family had started the bank when the town was first founded. It had been passed from his grandfather to his father to him. He had three girls, so I supposed he planned on one of them taking over when he retired.

Good morning, Ms. Mandy. How are you today? One of those guys with a big, booming yet friendly voice stepped forward to greet me. His dark eyes sparkled as he smiled at me.

I’m well, Mr. Mulroney. How are you?

Good, good. What can I do for you today?

I’d like to open a bank account with some money I’ve saved, I replied.

Great, step into my office, and we can get started.

I followed him to his office. He offered me water or coffee on the way; I declined and sat opposite him. I briefly scanned the space. It was neat and organized with personal touches, like family pictures, a plant, and fun knick-knacks, including a slinky and a pencil holder that looked like a golf bag.

Alrighty, we can open a new account, or I can add it to your current account. You know about that, right?

No, what? Wait? I sat up straight in the chair. What current account?

"Didn’t your mother