God Nods on True Love: God Nods Trilogy, #1

By William A. Gray

God Nods on True Love (in the God Nods Trilogy) contrasts how main characters find two very different kinds of love: an agape-love commitment needed for True Love marriage or philia-love needed for companionship. Readers will also understand how the Theory of Evolution is trying to refute God's Creation – and HOW to pose Challenging Question that force evolutionists to defend their opinions, which lack scientific evidence.

 

The Theme is:  "We know that God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)

God Nods are God-orchestrated people and events – during the good times and the bad times – that fulfill His Purpose for each believer. God Nods are totally different from what "happens" because of Blind Fate, Good Fortune, Lady Luck, Random Chance, or Coincidence.

 

God Nods on True Love addresses important questions that many people ask:

• After opposites attract, can they stay attached? Can I change myself or change the other person so we mesh?
• How can what I learned be completely unlearned so that transformational relearning can occur?
• What is true love and why is it so elusive?
• Does reliance on Fate produce better results than God Nods [God-orchestrated events, based on Romans 8:28]? 
• How can a Christian defend faith in God and a Bible-based Worldview (Theism) against vicious attacks from anti-Christians?

• Language: English
• Publisher: William A. Gray, Ph.D.
• Release date: Sep 28, 2022
• ISBN: 9780986879692

Book preview

GOD NODS ON TRUE LOVE

© 2022 William A. Gray

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission of the publisher, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law

Credits

Photo: Frank McKenna (Unsplash)

Cover design: Marilynne Miles Gray

Paint Pad

Other Books by William A. Gray

God Nods on Truth (coming 2022)

God Nods on Destiny (coming 2022)

God Nods on His Story About Me (eBook 2021)

Mentoring Relationships that Produce Results (eBook)

Mentor with the Right Style: Employ Situational Mentoring (eBook)

Why Become a Christian? A Spiritual Memoir (Paley, Whately & Greenleaf Press, 2015)

Learning By Doing: Developing Teaching Skills (with Brian Gerard, Addison-Wesley)

Understanding Yourself And Others (with Brian Gerard, Harper & Row)

Mentoring: Aid to Excellence in Education, the Family and Community Vol. 1 (edited with M.M. Gray)

Mentoring: Aid to Excellence in Career Development, Business and the Professions Vol. 2 (edited with M.M. Gray)

Mentoring: A Comprehensive Annotated Bibliography (with Marilynne Miles Gray)

PROLOGUE

God Nods on True Love addresses important questions that many people ask: After opposites attract, can they stay attached? Can I change myself or change the other person so we mesh? What was learned and must be completely unlearned so that transformational relearning can occur? What is true love and why is it so elusive? Does reliance on Fate produce better results than God Nods [God-orchestrated events, based on Romans 8:28]? How can a Christian defend faith in God and a Bible-based Worldview (Theism) against vicious attacks from anti-Christians?

Four lonely professionals discover answers to these and other questions as they seek the right partners, after beloved spouses pass away. Two Main Characters (Rod and Cindy Lou) discuss how to defend the Christian Faith and Bible-based Theism and how to ask Questions that make critics explain what they believe. Readers will learn how to stand up to political correctness (e.g., no truths, no morality, evolution as the explanation for human origin).

The Theme of God Nods on True Love is:  "We know that God causes all things to work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28)

This is the first story in a Trilogy:

›  God Nods on True Love introduces main characters and the type of love each seeks, and the kind of life each desires to live with the right life-partner, during a series of unexpected plot twists.

›  God Nods on Truth will follow main characters as they seek eternal truths, and help one another stand up to attacks from the woke culture of political correctness that aims to cancel them.

›  God Nods on Destiny will describe how the main characters confront Islam, which has been imposing its political-religious worldview for over 1400 years, and now threatens to dominate the world as the fastest growing world religion.

God Nods on True Love

CHAPTER 1

Mission: Impossible

Can you come over? her best friend’s voice pleaded once again, but with greater despair.

All the way there, Cindy Lou pondered Marg’s favorite saying: To be or not to be. That is the question. For the first time, her concern for Marg was replaced by worry.

I’m so glad ... you’re here ... I’m ... Marg embraced her, sobbing and shaking.

You’ll be alright, Marg. I’m here now.

I know ... but why ... why ... why does this keep ... happening?

Cindy Lou knew Marg was in no condition just then to understand anything she said. So, she just wrapped Marg in her arms, It’s alright Marg. Just let it out. It’s alright.

This relaxed Marg, like an upset child who feels encouraged to cry it out.

Regaining some composure, Marg mumbled, But why am I so angry and depressed after all these months?

Marg’s deep pain escaped in a whimper, God didn’t stop Mike from dying ... so I keep bouncing back and forth ... angry with God, then depressed at being alone ... more anger ... deeper depression. When will I finally accept what’s happened?

Soon Cindy Lou hoped.

Marg sniffled and took a deeper breath that seemed to hold down every utterance, And now ... I have no hope ... Fate has not brought anyone into my life ... to be my companion ... after three long ... lonely ... years.

Cindy Lou wondered: Am I being an enabler again. She knew what Marg would say. She’d heard it many times before. Sort of like a scratched record that causes the same words to play over and over – until someone lifts the record player’s arm out of the rut. She did not know how to do this for Marg.

You know how many guys I’ve dated, hoping to find the right one? Hoping Fate and Good Fortune would smile on me again ... at least once? All I want is one good one. Is that asking too much?

Marg’s rambling mind shifted focus. Tell me again how you got through grieving your husband’s death.

Cindy Lou had described this many times, but Marg’s focus on herself always prevented her from listening and understanding. Perhaps now was the right time to lift Marg’s mind and feelings out of her rut – to lift her to a new place, a place with hope, a better place – sort of like lifting a record player’s arm out of a rut.

Cindy Lou hoped so, because she longed for a return to their once-happy relationship, as best friends. So, double-minded, she pondered what to do: stop now or continue being the enabler of Marg’s situation.

Despite thinking I cannot be doing this forever, she said with regained hope, You know that me and Alex attended San Ramon Bible Fellowship. But you don’t know this is where we learned that God is in control of all things.

What? Marg challenged.

"In a small Bible Study Group, everyone shared painful incidents in our lives where God was with us in every valley. Like it says in Psalm 23: Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for Thou art with me."

Every valley? Marg huffed.

Yes! But most of the time, no one realized this – until they got out of the valley, months or even years later.

"But that’s just 20-20 hindsight."

"Yes, it is 20-20 hindsight – about God’s faithfulness in getting us through every situation. This 20-20 hindsight gave each of us 20-20 foresight to trust God in the future, which is even better. We knew we would get through every new valley and end up exactly where God wanted us ... because each person knew they could trust God all along the way."

So, how did this belief get you through your grieving?

"It wasn’t a belief, but knowing God ... knowing God causes all things – even bad things – to work together for the good of those who love Him and trust Him. This enabled me to almost skip the first four stages of grieving: denial, anger, bargaining, and depression."

Almost skip? No way! Sometimes, I had to comfort you.

"And for this, I’ll always be obligated to you and thankful to God for you. But, I never got mired in any stage of grieving – nor returned to any – because I reached acceptance, the fifth stage of grieving. I accepted that it was God’s purpose to take Alex to live eternally with Him – instead of living a little longer with me."

Do you really believe this, Cindy Lou?

It’s not a belief. I know it’s true.

How can you possibly know this is true? Marg implored.

The Bible says it’s true and I’ve personally experienced this to be true. As did everyone in our Bible Study Group when they encountered painful situations and went through the five stages of grieving.

"Well, I’ve always had a much different belief about what’s true. It’s called Fate or Good Fortune as described in the Gestalt Prayer you’ve seen hanging on my wall. I know it by heart:

I do my thing and you do your thing. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you, and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, it’s beautiful. If not, it can’t be helped."

Marg’s smile became hopeful again as she declared, I know this brought me and Mike together, then enabled us to be great companions on the same life journey.

Is this what you’re hoping will happen again?

That’s why I’m dating lots of guys, hoping Fate will bring me the right one.

How’s that really working out for you?

You really want my honest answer?

Cindy Lou looked deeply into her best friend’s eyes, Your most honest answer.

Taking another deep breath, Marg responded more honestly than ever before. She divulged what she’d never said before: California guys are just leaping lechers! Trying to leap all over me, lusting after me. Not wanting to know the real me. I know because I’ve dated so many I’ve lost count. They’re all the same. I date them usually once, sometimes twice. Until I know there is no hope there. Then, I retreat into loneliness ... until I need to hope again. Honestly, Cindy Lou, it’s just a hopeless cycle that doesn’t stop.

"Well, I can see why this keeps happening. You’re a physically attractive woman – with a vivacious personality. You’re the female version of a babe magnet," Cindy Lou chuckled.

That’s not funny. Marg also chuckled because she knew her best friend was right. But what can I do? I can’t change how I look or my personality.

Have you considered getting out of Dodge?

That’s not funny either!

I mean, going east – where many men have been more traditionally raised to be Gentlemen and to treat women with respect – as Ladies?

Hmmm ... interesting idea. Marg’s creative mind imagined new possibilities. I do have a sabbatical coming up. Any suggestions?

You know I grew up in Virginia. I bet there are some Virginia Gentlemen still being bred there. There’s a small college – Liberty Falls College – not far from where my parents live. Why not find out if their English Department will let you teach there on your sabbatical.

"Okay Cindy Lou, I will. I know if I stay in California, Mission: Impossible will keep happening – but without a happy movie ending. Perhaps, Mission: Possible awaits me at Liberty Falls College. It’s time for this perky California gal to go prospecting elsewhere."

Next day, an excited Marg told Cindy Lou. Liberty Falls College wants me to teach English Literature and Creative Writing ... so I’m going prospecting back east. No more grieving, but just hoping that Good Fortune awaits me. Thank you, Cindy Lou.

You’d have done the same for me, Marg.

That night, as was her custom, Marg journaled: Again, hope springs eternal in this human breast. Looking forward to new, totally different adventures – and men. Thank you Fate. Must remember to take my Gestalt Prayer.

Cindy Lou also felt more positive, for she could support Marg long-distance, occasionally, when needed, without enabling her or avoiding her. Her approach-avoidance conflict – to be or not be available 24/7 for Marg – was over! To replace her continual support, she continuously prayed that Marg would come to know God – and He would send the right man into her life, to give her the male companionship she desired and desperately needed.

Cindy Lou drove Marg to the airport, hugged her best friend goodbye, and said, Phone me whenever you need to. Otherwise let’s chat once a week or so.

That works for me! Marg’s smile revealed renewed hope. Cindy Lou’s smile ratified this. The California gals were in sync again as best friends who want the best for one another.

As Marg’s plane rose in the sky, so did Cindy Lou’s departing prayer, Marg is in your hands now, God. Please watch over her since I can’t. As the plane disappeared, so did her continuous obligation to her best friend, replaced by a focus on herself. For, she had a heart-felt, but long-ignored longing for an honest and true man – a husband– who would share three love affairs with her: an agape-love commitment as a lifelong marriage partner, a philia-love companion who enjoys the same spiritual, mental and physical activities, and an erotic lover for her pent-up passion. Three love affairs in that exact order of importance. Cindy Lou wouldn’t settle for less.

As she prayed for this, and for Marg again, God heard Cindy Lou’s prayer and continued orchestrating what neither California gal could ever have imagined – because:

"My thoughts are higher than your thoughts, and My ways are higher than your ways, sayeth the Lord."

CHAPTER 2

Mission: Possible Begins

Bob! Would you mind serving again? Rod shouted after the pickleball bounced off his chest. He motioned Bob to look at what distracted him – actually who attracted him like an eye-candy magnet – a stunning blond stranger entering the gym.

She could not help looking titillating, and tried not to flaunt this. But, she couldn’t prevent all fifty pickleball players there from being captivated by what they saw.

Bob raised one finger.

Rod raised ten fingers to up Bob’s one to ten, causing Bob’s smile to grow, knowing that Rod owed him ten.

As the game continued, the stranger watched Rod intently and became captivated by him – by his graceful Fred Astaire movements and precise strokes. When the game ended, she watched all four players laughing while approaching the net, where they touched the ends of their paddle handles together. She didn’t know about this friendly custom in pickleball. She had never seen this after tennis or badminton play ended.

After leaving the court, he approached her, New here?

Startled and unsure of his intentions, she recoiled because she was tired of being hit on by men who were only attracted to her physical beauty, men who did not want what she longed for.

While these thoughts flashed through her mind, she recoiled farther because of the apparent boldness of this stranger, until he said in a friendly manner, My name is Rod. I’m the Pickleball Ambassador here, and then stated most matter-of-factly, My role is to help newcomers feel welcome and meet other pickleballers.

What good fortune! You’ll help me meet prospects, she thought to herself while extending her hand to shake his, inviting him to sit beside her, where she began barraging him with her story, This is my first time here, and I’m new at playing pickleball. I’m teaching at Liberty College on my sabbatical leave from California. I did a home and car-swap with a couple who live here. She talked quicker than usual because she was also attracted to him.

To slow her down, Rod interjected, What’s their name? Everyone knows everyone in our little town.

Veronica and Wendell Thompson.

They play pickleball here when not travelling.

That’s why they recommended I start playing pickleball – to meet people. Usually, I play competitive badminton and tennis to stay fit. Pickleball will be a new adventure for me.

It certainly will! So, welcome to our Liberty Falls Recreation Center ... and to pickleball ... the fastest growing sport in North America, Rod said with measured words to reassure this newcomer who still seemed a bit uneasy. Most pickleball locations across North America have a designated Pickleball Ambassador, who helps newcomers find pickleballers to play with. So please accept our warmest welcome.

With a disarming Southern charm that showed why he is the local Pickleball Ambassador, he asked, What’s your name, Ma’am?

My friends call me Marg, she almost cooed in response to Rod’s charm. Catching herself, she jested, Are you the kind of Virginia Gentleman I’ve heard so much about?

Detecting her jest, he returned like he got, Yes, Ma’am ... at your service, to make this stranger feel even more welcome and at ease. Have you put your name on the whiteboard ... over there on the side wall? That’s how you sign up to get into a pickleball game here.

No. Would you kindly escort me to do this? She wanted to invite his assistance, but most of all his gentlemanly attention that intrigued her. Marg could not recall any other man calling her Ma’am or Lady before now, and she liked it. Indeed, she was warming to his obvious respect for her as a Lady.

Okay, Ma’am. Allow me to help you choose a paddle. We have lots of loaners. Rod looked around for his best buddy, JT! Would you and Bib save seats for me and our new pickleballer, Marg from California? Rod pointed to her, to the box of loaner paddles, to the whiteboard, and back to JT, to indicate what he was going to do.

Got your back good buddy. Always will.

From a box of loaner paddles, she selected one that felt right for her. Rod demonstrated what to do while explaining, You’ll want to hold your paddle so you can hit a variety of shots without changing your grip. Marg imitated what Rod demonstrated.

Please accompany me, Ma’am ... to watch how I’m going to sign us up for a court. I’ll put my name with yours since you don’t know anyone else yet. We’ll sign up to play with JT and Bib, my little sister who is like a sister to JT.

Would you stop calling me Ma’am? she giggled ever so slightly.

As you wish, he bantered back, suspecting there would be more repartee with this witty, vivacious, captivating blonde from California – whose left hand displayed no wedding ring.

Marg also sensed this was the start of many future rounds of bantering with this intriguing new man in her life – whose left hand displayed no wedding ring.

So, she just smiled at his ability to verbally volley with her as easily he volleyed a pickleball. Her smile broadened even more from appreciating his courtesy and respect towards her. So, she decided to bask in it, for she would not experience anything like this in California. And, she decided to play along whenever it fit her fancy.

Rod introduced Marg to JT, his best buddy from boyhood, and to his sister. "Vivian is my favorite female pickleball partner ... and my favorite sister," his hug revealed his affection for her while his words emphasized favorite to provoke an affectionate jab he had come to love and expect from her over a lifetime.

As the words left Rod’s mouth, Vivian jabbed his shoulder and said, "Favorite sister? I’m your only sister ... so you have no choice."

"You’d be my favorite sister even if I had twenty others to choose from," he chuckled.

"I better be your favorite, she jested while jabbing Rod’s shoulder again, because I just might have a more favorite brother to replace you." Bib glanced towards JT, who raised two thumbs up while smiling his approval.

During this affectionate brother-and-sister exchange that included JT, Marg made a mental note: They all really like one another. But something more than this bonds them.

Knowing that no one called her Vivian, Rod continued, I’ve always called my little sis Bib because, as a kid, my V’s sounded like B’s ... so Viv became Bib.

So glad to meet you. May I call you Bib also? It’s so unusual.

Marg, I’d really like that. All my friends call me Bib ... so please do. Thus, Bib invited this newcomer into her group of friends, and confirmed this by giving Marg one of her warm Southern hugs. JT did likewise. Rod didn’t, and she wondered why not?

While gushing inside at such warm hospitality from strangers, Marg mentally noted: Bib has noticeable pride in the unique name her brother pinned on her and her friends call her.

After Rod and Marg seated themselves on the bench, she inquired with growing interest in this fascinating man, How long have you been playing pickleball?

I started playing about six years ago ... when my knees wouldn’t let me play tennis any longer, Rod said with obvious nostalgia. Look around and you’ll notice that most of us here are older... former players of different racket sports ... that we can’t play like we used to.

Marg looked around and saw that most pickleballers were fifty-ish and older. She noted that Rod and JT appeared to be the two fittest men there, and she and Bib appeared to be the two fittest females there. What a foursome she thought, not knowing how true this would become.

"Even though we’re growing older, we can all play pickleball with a partner – and we certainly enjoy doing this ... with a partner," Rod repeated for emphasis because Marg appeared to fit this age group and he wanted her to realize she would fit right in ... perhaps as his female pickleball partner for mixed doubles.

How easy is it to learn to play pickleball well?

"When I started playing, I had to unlearn tennis strokes I’d used for many years – that was the hardest – so I could relearn how to hit a different kind of stroke with a pickleball paddle. Hitting a backhand stroke was especially difficult. Mind if I show you?"

Please do. The athletic newbie carefully studied Rod’s every move as he systematically demonstrated and explained the entire backhand process: Focus on the ball. Get into position. Stroke the ball properly ... paddle out in front of your body ... with the right angle on your paddle. Follow through. Move forward towards the net because the best players win playing at the net.

After imitating his movements, she asked, Would you coach me?

Glad to. Coaching is one of my favorite roles as Pickleball Ambassador.

But I must warn you, I’m more the creative kind ... which is quite useful when playing competitive badminton. I keep opponents guessing a lot. With just the flick of my wrist, I can get them running all over the court – with short drop shots and long clear shots, running from the front of the court to the back, and from one side to the other. The more creative I am, the more confused they become.

Rod could almost envision Marg doing this over and over, for ten to twenty shots or more, just to win one point. She certainly looked unusually fit for someone he guessed to be early fiftyish.

Before I coach you, you might want to look at Pickleball Tutorials on the Pickleball Channel, on the Internet. These videos demonstrate and explain all the strokes I’ll coach you to develop. He reached into his bag to retrieve a list of Pickleball Tutorials to watch, and gave this to Marg.

Thank you, Rod. I’ll study them.

Just then JT yelled, Rod and Marg, we’re on. Come play with me and Bib.

While escorting Marg to the court, Rod explained, JT is short for John Tyler Wentworth, the Fourth – but everyone just calls him JT.

Just don’t see why, Marg wisecracked, jabbing Rod’s shoulder like Bib did, so he’d know she now felt comfortable around him.

JT’s whole name is a whole mouth full, for sure. Since moving down here from Vermont as a kid, JT has been my best buddy. So, we just naturally had to be pickleball partners in men’s doubles, like we used to be in tennis. Bib is his usual female partner in mixed doubles. They are a fantastic team!

As the foursome reached the court, Rod said, Marg is brand new to pickleball ... never played before ... but has played competitive badminton and tennis. So, I suggest JT and I play as partners. We’ll hit shots that the two Ladies can return. This way we’ll have more rallies and fun, and Bib can help Marg learn some new pickleball strokes and explain the rules and scoring. Is this okay with everyone?

Everyone agreed, touched paddles, and shouted, "Let the