Unleashing Dunamis: Equipping Leadership to Channel Singles into Christlike Servanthood

By Dr. Lydia L. Chou

Wise singles will shine and lead many to righteousness like the stars forever and ever (Daniel 12:3). God loves each single adult, seeing them as precious, worthy, and complete in Christ. He always has their best interests in mind and holds their earthly and heavenly security within his hands. All single adults, including those never married, divorced, and widowed, will reap satisfaction in life when they unleash their dunamis as God intends, such as when they trust in God, the Lord becomes their everlasting strength (Isaiah 26:4). The blessed assurance of eternally good life is theirs to embrace.

God is faithful and true (Revelation 19:11). Nowhere in life is there anything that reaches higher and achieves more than the love and wisdom of Christ. As church leaders reach their potential for God, they can transfer their knowledge and experience to singles so that they can attain the life they were made to live. It will be a privilege and an honor to provide what singles need for unleashing their dunamis. May God bless the church and all wise singles.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Feb 19, 2021
• ISBN: 9781664218970

Dr. Lydia L. Chou

Dr. Lydia L. Chou is a competent Bible teacher, an evangelist, and a curriculum-design-and-delivery specialist in California. She is passionate about administering biblical truth to her community and serves as a Christian educator in a public school and in churches, teaching in a Good News Club and adult Sunday School and speaking to audiences about the gospel of Jesus Christ in English, Mandarin, and Taiwanese. Lydia has an MDiv in biblical studies, an MA in Curriculum and Instruction, and graduated from The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary with her Doctor of Educational Ministry. Connect with Lydia online, where she shares her thoughts on singles unleashing dunamis in Christ, marriage and singleness, spiritual and relational freedom, community building, restorative peace, boundary setting, curriculum design and delivery, and other areas of life and ministry. On Twitter: twitter.com/lydia139537

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CONTENTS

Introduction:   The Need to Unleash Singles’ Dunamis

PART I:   A BIBLICAL FOUNDATION

Chapter 1     Humanity’s Need to Belong

Chapter 2     Marriage, divorce, and Singleness

Chapter 3     Jesus Christ the Perfect Peace

Chapter 4     Servant Leadership in Christ

Chapter 5     Christlike Humility

Chapter 6     Exercising Self-Control

PART II:   A THEORETICAL AND PRACTICAL FOUNDATION

Chapter 7     Understanding Christians’ Identity

Chapter 8     Practicing Spiritual Discipline to become Christlike Servants

Chapter 9     Community Building

Chapter 10   Unleashing Christian Singles’ Dunamis for God

PART III:   CHANNELING SINGLES INTO CHRISTLIKE SERVANTHOOD

Chapter 11   Establishing a Singles Community

Chapter 12   A Teaching Project

Chapter 13   Ministry Evaluation

Afterword: Taking the Challenge of Unleashing Singles’ Dunamis for God

Appendix A

Bibliography

Endorsements

This book is dedicated to Christian single

adults and educational leaders of the church,

Christian seminaries, and Christian colleges.

Therefore, all who are mature should think this way.

And if you think differently about anything,

God will reveal this also to you (Phil 3:15).

PREFACE

Many Christian singles feel ashamed of being single because they do not have the truth to set them free from the cultural shame; ordinary people in our society value marriage and view single adults as anomalies. Many singles may also have experienced an enormous strain from their friends and family. A good number of churches, however, are neither teaching biblical truth about singleness nor addressing singles’ needs and concerns. This willful blindness has been going on in both evangelical and Catholic churches for long years.

We should not forget that some single adults are determined to stay single for reasons they may confess. Whether they remain celibate or get married, Christian singles exist for Christ (Rom 14:8; 1 Cor 8:6). I am compelled, therefore, to equip church educational leaders to unleash singles’ dunamis for God and to transform them into Christlike servants through teaching in a singles community. The Lord has entrusted me to write this book—not only am I highly equipped to write about singleness as a competent Bible teacher, having degrees of Master of Divinity, Master of Curriculum and Instruction, and Doctor of Educational Leadership, but I have also gone through life in singleness, marriage, and divorce. (It was very unfortunate for me to go through divorce; I worked hard to keep my marriage. The narrative in the section of chapter 2 entitled My Divorce Experience may help readers understand why I had to make that hard decision.) I am a living testimony of someone who has been transformed to be a Christlike servant.

Single adults need to be set free from the truth, to unleash their full potential, and to live a fulfilled life in Christ. I have practiced all that I wrote in this book and have tasted a satisfied life because I am equipped to be a Christlike servant. God will bless Christian singles who treasure the truth to fulfill their lives in Christ. Their best is yet to come.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

No one can lift a heavy load alone. It takes a team to accomplish writing a book. I am appreciative that the Lord called a team to help me with this task. When I needed assistance, he demonstrated his greatness and lovingkindness through his Spirit, fellow Christians, and my family and friends. His presence made the writing a joy.

First, Dr. Rick Durst, historical theologian and professor at Gateway Seminary, enlightened me to write about singleness for a course at Gateway Seminary. His words illuminated the forgotten ministry for single adults in the church. Then, making many remarkable suggestions for this book, Dr. Titus Yu, president and professor of religious studies at Andrew University, recommended the title, Unleashing Dunamis. And the Spirit followed suit and prompted me to add the subtitle, Equipping Leadership to Channel Singles into Christlike Servanthood. There I had the complete title that truly presents the content of this book.

Further, Drs. Leroy Gainey and Timothy Wiarda, professors of Gateway Seminary, each supported me with their insights by reviewing one chapter of the book. Dr. Claudia Durst Johnson, a scholar and author of forty-four books, advised me on the sequence of the chapters and publication of this writing. Dr. Susan Truitt, Reverend Kathleen Jimenez, and Lorraine Hartnett helped with the rhetoric of the book. And Drs. Jeff Iorg—president and professor at Gateway Seminary, Paul D. Wegner—distinguished professor of Old Testament at Gateway Seminary, and James Riley Estep Jr. —vice president of academics, Central Christian College of the Bible, affirmed the need for unleashing singles’ dunamis for God with their endorsements.

Lastly, family and church members’ prayers and encouragement increased my strength to accomplish the writing of the book. This work stands out because of the help from the Lord and the people mentioned above. I am eternally grateful for the Lord, all the saints, friends, and family members who sacrificed their time and leisure to care for me. The Lord will abundantly reward them as he promised (Rev 22:12)

LIST OF CHARTS AND TABLES

Chart 1. Framework for the Book

Table 1. Bible Passages for the Biblical Foundation

Chart 5.1. Christlike Humility—Essential for Servant Leadership\

Chart 7. Trajectories to Channel Singles into Christlike Servanthood

Chart 7.1 Types of Identity by Propositional Assent and Personal Allegiance

Chart 7.2. Characteristics of Christians’ Identity

Chart 8.1. Means of Spiritual Disciplines

Chart 9.1. Strategies for Community Building

Chart 9.2. Steps for Restorative Peace

Table 10.1. The Essentials to Unleash Singles’ Dunamis

Chart 11. Components of the Singles Ministry

Chart 11.1. Criteria for Effective Teachers

Table 11.1. Major Pedagogical Elements

Table 12.1. Major Teaching Elements

Chart C. Curriculum Evaluation Rubric

Chart E. Personal Growth Plan Evaluation Rubric

Chart H. Recording Results from Section V of the Survey

ABBREVIATIONS

OT (Old Testament)

NT (New Testament)

Other Abbreviations

INTRODUCTION

THE NEED TO UNLEASH SINGLES’ DUNAMIS

[The early church] single adult Christians were bearing testimony that

God, not family, was their hope. God would guarantee their future,

first by giving them their truest family—the church— so they never

lacked for brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers, in Christ.

—Timothy Keller¹

Tears welled up in her eyes right after I showed my concerns about her singleness, I said. And I discovered how necessary it is to minister to Christian singles.

In April 2019, the need to care for singles was the topic of discussion I had with several seminary professors. The conversation encompassed the necessity for Christian education to address the needs of single adults whose pressing concerns are not being met in evangelical churches today across the United States. As a result, many singles who feel discouraged have stopped attending church services. Examples of such are ubiquitous. The single I mentioned was in her 40s; she felt so much hurt, so quickly, when I asked her experience as a Christian single. The wound had been festering in her life as her pastors and leaders of the church were unconcerned about her needs as a single. On that day outside of the church, she said, Just once a pastor prayed for me and with me. She had attended four or more churches throughout twenty some years as a Christian single, and only one pastor had shown concern and had prayed with her on only one occasion.

Recently I read about another Christian single’s experience. She writes, It’s not the singleness that’s hard as a woman in my 30s in the church…The hard part is the cultural shame of singleness; being seemingly unwanted and undesired is painful. The shame in the church as being abnormal or feeling as if I’m perceived as a pariah presses in.² Again, another Christian single I heard of recently left her church with a sense of bitterness. The cause was also a lack of support from leaders after her long period of waiting and praying for a husband and having remained single. Both she and her church kept silence on singleness; her needs went unnoticed; and eventually, she stopped attending church services.

Why Getting Married or Remaining

Single Is Never Enough

In the beginning of my ministering to singles, I thought of being a matchmaker to get singles married. It seemed to be a right approach to help singles who long for marriage. They will then happily serve God, I once said to myself. But I was wrong and was corrected when I explored the field of singleness, knowing the assumption that getting married can make life happier or more rewarding is fallible. The fact is that every married couple has conflicts, that the business of marriage counseling now is flourishing due to marital conflicts, and that a reality check from the American Psychological Association shows the rate of divorce in the United States is about 40% to 50% of the married.³ The truth is that human nature after the Fall can no longer make any headway to truly satisfy the soul. Apart from the mercy of God in Christ, each one of us can lapse into thinking of the happiness of being married, or on the other end of the spectrum, pondering the pleasure of remaining single.

The problem is that neither marriage nor singleness can truly lead us to life. This is not because singleness or marriage is detrimental; it is because we are flawed creatures falling short of God’s glory (Rom 3:23). In our sinful nature, we oftentimes make marriage or singleness a primary focus of life. And yet neither of them can produce lasting joy in this life or eternal glory that lasts hereafter. Marriage and singleness seemingly provide comfort and freedom to a certain degree, but they can never produce fulfillment that leads to life in Christ. Only the gospel of Jesus Christ can fill our lives with true fulfillment. It is God who grants us this fulfillment through faith in Christ, completely apart from being single or having a companion. As Christ’s followers, we understand the impetus of the gospel for our life. And yet when it comes to living our lives in singleness or marriage, it can be difficult to see how the centrality of the gospel should shape our practices of guiding single adults.

Why Channeling into Christlike

Servanthood Is Necessary

With that in mind, there are compelling factors for the church to shape singleness into Christlike servanthood. First, singleness is often distorted in the family, church, and society in general.⁴ On the one hand, traditionally most people in both Protestant and Catholic evangelical circles regard marriage and family as the norm and singleness as an anomaly. On the other hand, celibacy is mandatory in Catholicism as Catholic priests and nuns are prohibited from marriage. Sexual scandals have caused great damage to Catholic Church because the clergy, namely priests and nuns, who were either inclined to marry or unable to exercise sexual self-control, were forced to be single.

God, however, shows a very different perspective on singleness; that is, either singleness or marriage is a gift from God (Matt 19: 3–12; 1 Cor 7:7–8). Understanding biblical singleness will set Christian singles free from erroneous beliefs and practices. Deeply rooted in the gospel, the church can disciple singles to unleash their dunamis for God. Both leaders and singles of the church need knowledge of biblical singleness so that they can deal with singleness wisely. A man of knowledge increases power (Prov 24:5). Knowledge is power; no knowledge means no power. And He who does not have full control of himself (herself), is like an open city for anyone to take over and rule (Prov 25:28).⁵

Moreover, the need for shaping singleness is ever increasing with the rising number of single adults in the United States since 1900. The number of unmarried people in the U.S. according to the Census Bureau in September 2019 is 48%, rising from 43% in 1996 and 5% in 1900.⁶ This phenomenon is also true for churches. Eighty percent of Timothy Keller’s congregation in New York City, for example, are singles.⁷

Last but not least, to unleash the dunamis of Christian singles requires the church to equip leaders and singles with knowledge of biblical singleness and Christlike servanthood. Dunamis, the Greek word for power, means might, strength, abilities, capacity, and potential. All of these are interchangeably used as synonyms in this book. Dunamis exists in humans, transcendent beings, as well as the natural world. Strong wind, pouring rain, and striking lighting can cause changes in the environment. The devil’s power is manifest as a destructive capability (Luke 10:19). All humans have dunamis because they are made in the image of God (Gen 1:27). Believers are equipped with dunamis given by God through the Holy Spirit (Luke 24:49; Acts 4:33; 6:8).

Effects of a Person’s Dunamis

Dunamis exists in a person’s knowledge, verbal ability, emotional demeanor, social position, and even physical stature. Theological power is present when a person uses their theology to explain or persuade the hearer. In the Old Testament, priests and prophets are commonly sought after for theological answers. Their theological power can build up and encourage as well as mislead or destroy. In the New Testament, pastors, teachers and elders impact the faith community through their knowledge about God.

Verbal dunamis is crucial to the speaker and the hearer. The book of Proverbs teaches wisdom in spoken words in full measure, From the words of his mouth, a man will enjoy many things (13:2). There is one who speaks rashly, like a piercing sword; but the tongue of the wise brings healing (12:18). Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit (18:21). Spoken words possess immense power to edify, encourage, admonish, and rebuke for the purpose of building others up. By the same token, spoken words may boast, condemn, slander, and curse for the purpose of destroying others. The tongue, a small part of the body, can pollute the whole body and set the course of life on fire (Jas 3:6).

Emotion is a state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others. It means to move. A common phenomenon that happens in daily life is that people are moved especially when those they love show deeper feelings during communication. Understanding emotions can be a complex issue as it extends across psychology, neuroscience, psychiatry, biology, anthropology, sociology, literature, and philosophy. Positive emotions include states of mind, such as lovingkindness, gladness, hopefulness, calm, and long-suffering with joy in contrast to negative emotions, such as distress, despondency, fear, doubt, and anger. Emotions may be powerful because they tell the mind to take actions. For example, there have been studies on anger issues as many people are troubled by anger. Words and phrases closely linked with anger bring damage to the heart, deadly effects, and ruin to health.

Positional dunamis is defined as authority and influence bestowed on a position or office and whoever is filling or occupying that position. Pastors, elders, teachers, and staff of a church or a religious group have different types of authority. Governmental officials with prominent positions wield power to execute social orders. When leaders arrogantly, manipulatively, and selfishly exercise positional dunamis, their followers may show dissatisfaction or complain.

Physical dunamis pertains to the stature and presence of a person. For example, Goliath’s stature during King David’s era frightened the Israelites; and God’s presence brings fullness of joy to His people (Ps 16:11). In contrast, God’s presence can also frighten people (Exod 32:10); and a person’s presence can be a comfort or a threat to another depending on their relationships.

Singles Need Christian Education

Unleashing the dunamis of Christian singles stems from understanding God’s will in singleness and surrendering oneself to Christlike servanthood. Christlike servants are defined as follows: Christians are Christ-following servants in submission to God’s Word, offering their entire lives and living as Christ’s image bearers, who are equipped and empowered to pursue shared goals to fulfill God’s plan and the Great Commission. To be clear, Christlike servants are not simply doing what Jesus would do in every situation. God wants more than well-mannered, devoted self on the throne of one’s services. He wants every Christian to deny his or her self. Jesus says, If anyone wants to come with Me, he must deny himself, take up his cross and follow me (Luke 9:23). God’s Word in Galatians 2:19–20 clearly outlines that God’s goal for self is to put it to death, … I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loves me and gave Himself for me.

God wants to remove all traces of self so that we can be presented to Christ holy and blameless.⁸ When Christian singles understand and appreciate God’s gift and intention of singleness, they can be transformed to be servants of God and others. It is important to know that the church’s core mission is not striving for social justice or charity, but for Christians’ total transformation, to see Christ formed in us (Gal 4:19) and to conform us to the image of the Son of God (Rom 8:29). Because Jesus Christ, the Creator (John 1:1–4; Heb 1:1–3), came to save sinners, we can become saints and live a sanctified life. God commands all Christians to be shaped into his image with the ever-increasing glory of God (2 Cor 3:18).

Consequently, unleashing Christian singles’ dunamis is predicated on biblical singleness and Christlike servanthood. This writing project grew from this understanding. Today more than ever before, Christ’s church, where God’s wisdom is revealed, needs to empower her singles to be their best through teaching that channels singles into Christlike servanthood.

This book is dedicated to offering church leadership a body of knowledge on singleness based on a biblical, theoretical, and practical foundation and principles and approaches to teaching that transforms single adults into Christlike servants. It will be ideal as a textbook in congregations or classrooms. Hopefully with its use, Christian singles will be channeled into Christlike servants in a progressive process in which they are regenerated by the Holy Spirit. Being shaped by God’s Word, Christian singles can grow and serve in the context of a faith community. With obedience to God’s will, they can be spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, and morally changed into Christlike servants.

God Will Transform Singles When

His Counsel Is Made Known

God’s truth is crucial in decision making: the choices which one encounters involve a set of facts, but only the truth directs one’s heart to make the right choice. One’s situation involves the who, what, where, and how, that will be perceived differently in each one’s own perspective. Perceptions based on happenings can often cause decision making to become difficult because perception is not always reality. The truth, however, rooted in God, fully encompasses the facts. So, truth can guide the decision-making process with peace and clarity.

God’s truth, primarily revealed in the Bible, stands at the core of this book. As a Christian educator, I am enlightened by Scripture and I incorporate social science that fits into a biblical worldview. In other words, the Bible is the core authority for this book, and social science is secondary. From [your heart] flow the springs of life (Prov 4:23). God’s word reflects the reality of thoughts expressed in words, words turning to actions, and actions reaching their destiny. Biblical knowledge about singleness leads single adults to an abundant life. Erroneous knowledge, however, stifles liveliness of the spirit and strangles growth of the soul. For we are not able to do anything against the truth, but only for the truth (2 Cor 13:8). To rightly live as a single requires belief in the Triune God and Redeemer and in the enduring truth of the Bible.

As God nurtures the earth, God’s power and grace will nurture and