O, Gigantic Victory Trilogy!: Baseball Poems

By Steve Hermanos

Steve Hermanos’ highly-praised, exciting, and funny baseball poetry celebrating the San Francisco Giants and their world championship seasons is for the first time gathered in a single volume. Emily Dickinson, Tim Lincecum, and Charles Bukowski rolled into one. Perfect for every San Francisco Giants fan (not for little kids), and baseball fanatics everywhere. A unique and fun way to relive the 2010, 2012 & 2014 championship seasons.

“Steve let’s it all hang out.”
--Andy Musser, ex-Phillies broadcaster

“It’s perfect.”
--Ken Burns, filmmaker

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Feb 11, 2021
• ISBN: 9781663211378

Steve Hermanos

Steve Hermanos is a fiction writer, screenwriter, and film producer. His most recent film, Show Me The Aliens!, is currently finishing production. His short stories about New York City, The Vincent Mercey Sextet, will be published in 2001. He lives in Manhattan. He can be contacted at www.showmethealiens.com or [e-mail].

Book preview

O,

Gigantic

Victory

Trilogy!

Baseball Poems

Steve Hermanos

The 2010, 2012 & 2014 Championship Seasons

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O, GIGANTIC VICTORY TRILOGY!

O, GIGANTIC VICTORY; ORANGE WAVES OF GIANTS; FLOATING GIANTS; THE SAN FRANCISCO GIANTS 2010, 2012 & 2014 CHAMPIONSHIP SEASONS; BASEBALL POEMS VOLUMES I, II & III

Copyright © 2021 Steve Hermanos.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

iUniverse

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 978-1-6632-1136-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6632-1137-8 (e)

iUniverse rev. date: 02/11/2021

CONTENTS

2010

O, Gigantic Victory!

October, 2009: Bruce Bochy

Jon Miller, Hall Of Famer

At Momo’s, March 20, 2010

Barry Zito’s Loot Bags

These Shrunken Men

Zit-O

One Night At Buster’s

Captain Thong

The Playoffs & Barry Zito

Panda Express

Invitation To Panda

The Machine: 8/31/10

Vs. Atlanta, Game 1

Atlanta Health Care

Assaying Bobby Cox

Will Brooks Conrad Attend Bobby Cox’s Hall Of Fame Induction?

Vs. Atlanta, Game 4

October Odds

Vs. Phillies, Game 1: Cody Ross

Vs. Phillies, Game 1: Roy Hallady, Mr. Invincible

Fearsome Facial Hair

Vs. Phillies, Game 4

Fox Baseball

Vs. Phillies, Game 6

World Series, Game 1

World Series, Game 2: The Omen

World Series, Game 2

Barry Bonds

Josh Hamilton Smells

World Series, Game 3: Bush Appears

Huff Conjures The Ghosts

Uribe and Rentería

Gigantic Pants: Madison Bumgarner (Haiku)

Madison Bumgarner II

Be Careful What You Wish For

Yes, Bochy Is A Genius

World Series, Game 5: The Sea Monster

World Series, Game 5: Our Boys

World Series, Game 5: Rentería, Rentería

The Giants Win! The Giants Win!

2012

Orange Waves of Giants!

April 8, 2011: Champs

The Destruction: May 25, 2011

The All-Time Foulest American Assassins

2012 Spring Training Haikus

June 13: Mrs. L. Argues Perfection

June 26 Vs. Dodgers (Vin)

Our All-Stars

This Team Looks Good (Haiku)

Melky Cabrera Suspended For Steroids: Kenny The Melkman’s Lament

Melky Armstrong

San Franposey

Ballpark Tour: Cooperstown

Ballpark Tour: Yankee There Used To Be A Ballpark Right Here Stadium

Ballpark Tour: The Polo Grounds

Ballpark Tour: Detroit

Vs. Cincinnati, Games 1 and 2

Vs. Cincinnati, Game 3

Vs. Cincinnati, Game 4: The Oracle

Vs. Cincinnati, Game 5

Vs. St. Louis, Game 2: The Cheap Slide

October 16, 1912: One Hundred Years Ago Today

Vs. St. Louis, Game 5: Before, During, and After Barry Zito

Vs. St. Louis, Game 6: Gangnam Style

Game 7: The Deluge

We’re Waiting With Chains

A Lot of Ifs

Comes a Taunting

World Series Game 1

Three Homerballs Give Voice

Panda, Panda, Panda

Particles

Who is Jim Leyland Talking To?

World Series Game 2: Ballplayers

World Series Game 2: Fixin’ Catfish

Fielder’s Wheels

World Series Game 3: Declawed Pussycats

Leyland Retreats To The Closet

Up 3-0: Unbroken?

World Series, Game 4

Champions

Orange Waves Of Giants

One More For The Club

’10 & ’12

2014

Floating Giants!

On The Field In Pittsburgh With Franz Kafka

Timmy’s Light Show

Ballpark Tour: Fresno

Babe Ruth at Lou Gehrig Day, July 4, 1939 (Haiku)

Mr. Padre (1960-2014)

Slinking Into The Party Through The Kitchen Door

Wild Card Game Vs. Pittsburgh

Vs. Washington, Game 1

Vs. Washington, Game 2

The Embalmed Look (Haiku)

The Gnats

Vs. Washington, Game 4; A Prayer For Ryan Vogelsong

Vs. Washington, Game 4: The Catch II

Vs. Washington, Game 4: The Backstop Hearts The Ball

Vs. St. Louis, Game 1

Vs. St. Louis, Game 3: Orange Eruption

Early Dream

Vs. St. Louis, Game 4

Vs. St. Louis, Game 5: Pregame

Vs. St. Louis, Game 5: Wainwright Bests Bumgarner

Vs. St. Louis, Game 5: Odysseus Comes Home

Mrs. L.: Winner

World Series, Game 1

Bumgarner: Call Him A Monster

That Blue Bubble

World Series, Game 2: I’m Not At A Parade

Series Ritual

3 A.M. At Buster’s

Where’s Buster? (Haikus)

World Series, Game 4

World Series, Game 5: Tilting the Seesaw

Madison? His Name is All Wrong

Madison Bumgarner: Gigantic Pants Redux (Haiku)

The World Series Stops

Seize The Triumph

World Series, Game 6

Marcel Proust Saves The Night

Nightmare Redux?

World Series, Game 7

World Series Game 7: Parenting 101: The Bribe

World Series, Game 7: Everest’s Summit

The Club

Divergent Parades

PLEASE NOTE

These poems are not intended for little kids. They are for adult baseball fans, the men and women who work all day and travel a long way to sit in the stands at night, who watch the whole game, who don’t text during innings, who understand what is going on.

Everything here was written in the years of the championships described. Some of the phrasing and words chosen may now seem anachronistic. I’m leaving it as it was, fresh.

PREFACE

It wasn’t very long ago, was it,

When we cheered so loud,

All San Francisco & Environs’

Throats remaining rasped,

Overnight, all morning, all day,

’til the next game?

O, wonderful love—

Timmy, Buster, MadBum, Matt Cain,

Commander Bruce Bochy, Hunter, Vogelsong’s nostrils,

Juan Uribe, Panda Panda, Cody Ross, Marco Scutaro,

Joey Panik, Aubrey Huff, 3rd Base Coach Tim Flannery,

Batting Coach Hensley Meulens, 1st Base Coach Roberto Kelly,

Pitching Coach Dave Righetti, Gangham Style, Freddy Sanchez,

G.M. Brian Sabean & the fellas writin’ the checks;

All these guys,

Are putting on weight,

Losing hair,

Muscles un-strengthening,

Fathering at diminishing rates;

The three sparkly trophies sparkle on;

And our memories of triumph,

Are twined into those with whom,

We went;

To future ball fans, Well…

Maybe scattered poetic fragments,

Can prove tickets into,

These shiny worlds of orange ecstasy.

—Steve Hermanos

San Francisco, Xmas, 2019

2010

San Francisco Giants hitters by plate appearances (minimum fifty)

Aubrey Huff, 1B

Pablo Sandoval, 3B

Juan Uribe, SS

Andrés Torres, OF

Freddy Sanchez, 2B

Buster Posey, C (brought up, May 29)

Aaron Rowand, CF

Pat Burrell, LF

Édgar Rentería, SS

Nate Schierholtz, RF

Travis Ishikawa, 1B

Bengie Molina, C (traded to Texas, June 30)

Eli Whiteside, C

José Guillén, RF

John Bowker, OF (traded to Pittsburgh for Javier López)

Cody Ross, OF (claimed off waivers, Aug 23)

Matt Downs, 2B

Mike Fontenot, IF

Mark DeRosa, LF

Eugenio Vélez, IF

San Francisco Giants Pitchers by innings pitched (minimum eighteen)

Matt Cain,

Tim Lincecum

Barry Zito

Jonathan Sánchez

Madison Bumgarner

Brian Wilson

Sergio Romo

Todd Wellemeyer

Santiago Casilla

Guillermo Mota

Jeremy Affeldt

Denny Bautista

Dan Runzler

Ramón Ramírez

Chris Ray

Javier López

Bruce Bochy, manager

Tim Flannery, 3rd base coach

Roberto Kelly, 1st base coach

Hensley Meulens, hitting coach

Dave Righetti, pitching coach

Ron Wotus, bench coach

Bill Neukom, C.E.O.

Larry Baer, President

Brian Sabean, General Manager

Mike Murphy, Equipment Manager

O, Gigantic Victory!

The 2010 Championship Season

Volume I

For Karin—

Every year,

A world championship

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OCTOBER, 2009: BRUCE BOCHY

Boche,

With a head the size of a thirty-dollar pumpkin,

The brain mass should be as impressive,

Shouldn’t it?

But,

You shuffle in place at the side of the dugout,

A hand on the railing,

Staring out at the goings on;

The look is either:

A tourist dumped onto

Castro Street,

Brow crinkled,

Trying not to stare at the natives,

Wondering which way is Fisherman’s Wharf,

Fingering his wallet, his Best Western key;

Or,

A guy in line at Wells Fargo,

Rubbing a deposit slip and check,

Scanning the employees, their proclivities, their maturity,

The timing of deliveries,

Figuring out the cameras and alarms,

Nonchalantly scanning the guards,

While concocting,

A monster heist;

Which, Boche,

Is it?

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JON MILLER, HALL OF FAMER

Your humor dryer,

Than a summer Scottsdale parking lot;

Your timing equal,

To James Brown’s;

Your knowledge profound,

Wide and generous;

Your descriptions vivid;

Your mimicking of Vin—

Ah, perfect moment after perfect moment;

You’re the only announcer,

To whom I stay tuned,

In a rain delay;

With Stanford sidekick David Braxton Flemming:

Sancho Panza/Tonto/Chico Marx/Dr. Watson/

Mr. Spock/Chewbacca;

Aristotle,

Contemplating Plato’s freshest utterance;

Miller, you gotta quit ESPN,

Sending you hither and yon,

Every week,

Away from the story by the Bay;

Remain with the homies,

In your booth,

A lama on his hillside,

In reverent levitation,

Soaking in every nuance of the goings on,

Below on the greensward,

Disseminating ever-deeper observations;

And tossing off jokes,

The most popular guy at the party;

We deserve it, don’t we?

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AT MOMO’S, MARCH 20, 2010

Soon the runs count;

The new season, I smell it like cut grass;

Momo’s for lunch, spotless invisible window,

Presenting the brick ballpark;

I sit with my client, Chuck, the sports lawyer;

A great place,

To dine on a friend’s corporate account;

A guy at the next table,

Slim tie knotted to his neck,

Like a second Adam’s apple,

The loose ’fro, oblong face:

The Giant President, Larry Baer;

I