Concerning Trump

By Peter A. Bakke

Parody can be defined as:
“… a literary work in which the style of an author or work is closely imitated for comic effect or in ridicule.”
- Merriam-Webster Dictionary
Political parody may help those of us cope who have a liberal or moderate political disposition. It may also help make bearable these turbulent political times under the growing shadow of Trumpism.
This frequently somber, sometimes humorous volume reimagines historical quotes with a keen eye focused on Donald J. Trump, Trumpism, and his Republican party.
But beware. This book can only be taken in small doses. Like arsenic.
If you read it and start feeling ill, that’s a good sign, a sign that you’ve been paying attention to what’s been going on in our country under the Trump regime.
Set it aside for a while. But never set aside your vigilance for men like Donald J. Trump.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Dec 16, 2020
• ISBN: 9781665509640

Peter A. Bakke

Peter A. Bakke is an amatuer historian who is fascinated by the period in Germany between WW I and WW II. This was a time when the democratically elected Weimar government was undermined by chaos, the impairment of institutions, the subversion of elections, and the rise of Nazism. He claims that any resemblance between that period and the period that America is living through now is strictly coincidental. Perhaps. He holds a master’s degree in international relations and lives with his wife Cheryl in Tucson, Arizona.

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© 2021 Peter A. Bakke. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or

transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse  12/16/2020

ISBN: 978-1-6655-0965-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6655-0963-3 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-6655-0964-0 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020923897

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in

this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views

expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the

views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

A

B

C

D

E

F

G

H

I

J

K

L

M

N

O

P

Q

R

S

T

U

V

W

X

Y

Z

Epilogue

This book is a political parody / satire of

historical quotations reimagined for the

Donald J. Trump and Republican Party era that

we all find ourselves living through.

Read it a little at a time, it can be exhausting.

Any resemblance to quotes of persons living or dead

on the subject of Donald J. Trump, Trumpism, and

the Republican Party is purely coincidental.

Or maybe not.

Just think, Trump’s language is the result of two

hundred thousand years of human evolution.

- La Bruyère, Jean de

Dedicated to my loving wife Cheryl.

A

Abrahams, Peter

Trump’s life has been dominated by a sign, often invisible but no less real for that, which reads: RESERVED FOR WHITES ONLY.

Acheson, Dean

Trump’s administration is worse than immoral, it’s a mistake.

Achebe, Chinua

Trump’s fear … lay within himself.

Acton, Lord

Power in Trump’s hands tends to corrupt and his absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Men like Trump are almost always bad men.

Trump proves that there is no worse heresy than that the office of U.S. President sanctifies the holder of it.

The one prevailing evil of American democracy today is the tyranny of the Republican minority.

Adams, Abigail

I am more and more convinced that Trump is a dangerous creature and that his power, whether vested in many or a few, is ever grasping and like the grave, cries Give, give.

Trump must remember that arbitrary power is like most things which are very hard, they are very liable to be broken.

Adams, Douglas

What god like Trump would be hanging around Terminal Two of Newark Airport trying to catch the 8:30 flight to Omaha?

Here Trump is, brain the size of a planet, and they say he talks like a fifth grader.

Trump’s birth was an accident with a contraceptive and a time machine.

Trump will soon be spending a year dead for tax reasons.

There is a theory which states that if anyone ever discovers exactly what Trump is for and why he is here, that person will instantly disappear and be replaced by someone even more bizarre and inexplicable.

Adams, Franklin P.

Trump is easily influenced. Compared with him a weather vane is Gibraltar.

Adams, Henry

Trump affects eternity.

Trump wants to look like an American presidential hero, but is slowly settling down to be a third-rate Nixon.

Trump is incoherent and immoral.

Adams, John

The Trump presidency will be remembered as one continued lie from one end to the other.

The public history of the Trump administration is but a sort of mask, richly colored. The interior working of the machinery must be foul.

Adler, Alfred

Trump’s nature is to wish to diminish the feeling of inferiority by constant proofs of his ‘superiority.’

Trump’s fantasies are to be understood as infantile megalomaniac ideas.

Trump’s craving for security leads him to seek the protection of the father, mother, or an idea.

Adorno, Theodor

Trump is someone who cannot tell a lie without believing it himself.

Aesop

I will have nothing to do with a man like Trump who can blow hot and cold in the same breath.

Aitken, Max

Trump has in him the stuff of which tyrants are made.

Alain

No one is more dangerous than Trump, who has an idea and only one idea.

Albee, Edward

Trump has no sense of humor.

Alcott, Louisa May

Trump, the lord of creation, does not take the advice of experts until he has persuaded himself that it is just what he intended to do; then he acts upon it and if it succeeds, he takes full credit; if it fails, he generously gives the experts the whole of it.

Alcuin

The voice of Trump is the voice of God.

al-Fayed, Mohamed

Trump barks, but the caravan passes on.

Some of Trump’s loyalists have asked if they can be buried with him. Certainly, but space is limited. It will cost $10 million per person, mummification is $1 million extra and you must be prepared to rest for eternity standing up.

Alexander I

Trump, that infernal creature who is the curse of all the human race, becomes every day more and more abominable.

Alfonso X

Had Trump been present at the Creation, he would have given some hints for the ordering of the universe.

Alfonso XIII

I picked Trump out when he was a nobody. He has double-crossed and deceived me at every turn.

Allen, Fred

I have just returned from Mar-a-Lago. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself there.

President Trump is a form of executive fungus that has attached itself to the Oval Office. On a boat this growth would be called a barnacle.

Allen, Woody

Trump cannot listen to that much Wagner. He starts getting the urge to conquer Poland.

Trump thinks the presidency pays. The hours are good. You travel a lot.

Trump may get re-elected. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

Trump has a terrific story about oral contraception. He asked a girl for a date and she said no.

Altgeld, J.P.

No community can be said to possess local self-government if Trump can, at his pleasure, send military forces to patrol its streets under pretense of enforcing some arbitrary laws.

Amachai, Yehuda

God has pity on kindergarten children.

He has less pity on schoolchildren.

And upon the American electorate under Trump, he has no pity at all.

Pacifism in the face of Trumpism … amounts only to sitting back and getting yourself slaughtered.

Amis, Martin

If there is a key to Trump’s character it has something to do with his towering immodesty, the enjoyable perfection of his self-love.

Andersen, Hans Christian

Republicans said none of the President’s clothes had such a success before. But daddy, he’s got nothing on! piped up a small child.

Anaxagoras

Everything has a natural explanation. Trump is not a god but an enormous rock.

Trump would live an exceedingly quiet life if this one word, ‘mine,’ was taken away.

Anaximander

The principal makeup of Trump is undefined.

The era of Trump cannot be explained without his predecessors.

For Republicans, Trump is the first principle and that all things are generated from him, and are corrupted through him.

Anderson, Marian

Where there is money, Trump is fighting for it.

Anderson, P.W.

You never understand Trump. When one understands Trump, one has gone crazy.

Anderson, Sherwood

Trump works terribly at the task of amusing himself.

Angelou, Maya

Trump’s talent to endure stems from his ignorance of alternatives.

Anglo-Saxon Chronicle

In Trump’s time there is nothing but disturbance, wickedness and robbery.

Anonymous

Most Gracious President, we thee implore

To go away and sin no more,

But if that effort be too great,

To go away at any rate.

No one has ever said that Trump is a fat, philandering, draft dodger. Maybe.

Be frank and explicit with Trump … it is his business to confuse the issue afterwards.

Trump’s delusion injures others, brings hardship, soils the mind and may well lead to hell.

The reports of Trump’s death were erroneous. But he wants to know if they were terrific.

Anyone who isn’t upset by Trump’s behavior doesn’t really understand what’s going on.

Trump can’t act. Can’t sing. Slightly bald. Can lie a lot.

Trump bought Mar-a-Lago. Somebody had to.

Hey, Hey, DJT!

How many Americans

Did you kill this week?

In your heart you know he’s wrong. In your guts you know he’s nuts.

Anouilh, Jean

Every man thinks God is on his side. Trump knows he is.

Anthony, Susan B.

As usual, Trump fires his salvos and then goes home to let others finish his battles.

Appleton, E.V.

Trump does not mind what language you are using as long as he does not have an interpreter.

Aptheker, Herbert

Trump’s administration and supporters demonstrate that no matter what the despoilers of humanity may do - enslave, segregate, torture, lynch - they cannot destroy the people’s will to freedom, their urge towards equality, justice and dignity.

Aquinas, Thomas

Since we cannot know what Trump is, but only what he is not, we must consider the ways in which he is not rather in the ways in which he is. Is that clear?

Arabin, William

Trump, God has given you abilities, instead of which you go about the country talking trash.

Arendt, Hannah

Promises are the uniquely human way of ordering the future. But Trump makes doing so unpredictable and unreliable to the extent that it is humanly possible.

Trump the hypocrite is really rotten to the core.

Trump shows that no cause remains but the most ancient of all, the one, in fact, that from the beginning of our history has determined the very existence of politics, the cause of tyranny.

For Trump it is easier to act than to think.

Trump haunts us. It is his function to haunt us.

Ariosto, Ludovico

Nature made Trump and then broke the mold.

Aristotle

Trump is dear to Republicans, but dearer still should be truth.

Trump does not know that excellence is never an accident. It is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, and intelligent execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives - choice, not chance, determines our destiny.

Trump is fading away because the energy of the mind is the essence of life.

Dignity does not consist in Trump possessing honors, but in him deserving them.

The educated differ from Trump as much as the awake from the asleep.

A would-be tyrant like Trump must put on the appearance of uncommon devotion to religion. Voters are less apprehensive of illegal treatment from a ruler whom they consider god-fearing and pious. On the other hand, they do less easily move against him, believing that he has God on his side.

Trump and his minions know that democracies may degenerate into despotisms.

Arlen, Michael

It is amazing how nice people will be to Trump when they know he is leaving office.

Armah, Ayi Kwei

The whole world is covered over with the hell of Trump.

Armour, Phillip

Trump does not love the money. What he does love is the getting of it … He does not read. What else can he do?

Arnold, Thomas

As for dissent, the Trumpian way of dealing with that is like the old Roman way which is the right one; flog the rank and file and fling the ringleaders from the Tarpeian Rock.

It’s now obvious what one must look for in a president after the Trump debacle: first, religious and moral principles; secondly, gentlemanly conduct; thirdly, intellectual ability.

Arran

Life is much easier for Trump being president. It has changed him a lot. He’s much nastier now.

Ascherson, Neal

The trouble with Trump’s reign is that it requires so many policemen to make it work.

Trump has figured out that work is a dull way to get rich.

Asquith, Herbert

Trump keeps three sets of books. One to mislead the public; one to mislead his followers; and one to mislead himself.

Asquith, Margot

Trump is a constant source of surprise to people who observe how little a big fortune contributes to Beauty.

Trump cannot see a belt without hitting below it.

Trump tells enough lies to ice all his many wedding cakes.

Astor, Nancy

I can conceive of nothing worse than a Trump government - except a Trump government.

Attali, Jacques

America is a great book. Trump is but one sentence.

Attlee, Clement

U.S. Republicans are the illegitimate children of Donald Trump and Sarah Palin.

Democracy means government by discussion but it is only effective if you can keep Donald Trump from interrupting.

Trump and his allies are like a glass of champagne that has soured for five days.

Atwater, Lee

Trump can’t lead anymore because he can’t speak to the spiritual vacuum at the heart of American society, this tumor of the soul. Because he has no soul.

There is a big part of Trump that is anti-intellectual.

Auden, W. H.

For Trump, the Republican Party is but a means of transportation to parts unknown: not a destination.

Trump has gradually turned into a robot making tiny jokes while grinding away at the bottom of a cesspool.

Trump history is far too criminal and pathological to be a fit subject for the young. Children should find their heroes elsewhere.

Trump can imagine Evil; but Evil cannot imagine Trump.

Now America finally has her madness in Trump.

Trump’s American sky is darkening like a stain;

Something is going to fall like rain,

And it won’t be flowers.

Of course Behavioralism works. So does torture. Give me a no-nonsense behaviorist, a few drugs and simple electrical appliances and in six months I will have Trump reciting the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence … in public.

Republican’s fate must always be the same as yours, Trump,

To suffer the loss they were afraid of, yes,

Holders of by-gone positions, wrong for years.

Happy is America at morning, for she cannot read

Trump’s waking thoughts.

Trump enjoys the sound of his own voice as much as he enjoys the smell of his own farts.

Trump’s soul must look like a wedding cake left out in the rain.

Augustine, Norman

Trump offers a Republican’s advantage of generally having had no first-hand experience in the matters of deepest interest to America, thereby assuring a clear mind uncluttered by the facts.

Augustine, Saint

What was Trump doing before he made Heaven and Earth?

Trump should beware the expert. The danger already exists that the expert has made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and to confine man to the bounds of Hell.

Trump has spoken; the case is concluded.

The world is a book but those who follow Trump read only a page.

Austen, Jane

Trump, if he has the misfortune of knowing