County Village

By Osi M.M. Osi

County Village is a book about life in a typical Nigerian secondary school. It is intended to preserve the way of life and pattern of secondary school administration common in Nigeria. The modern Nigerian society is one in which the precious pattern our secondary schools, especially the boarding schools, were been run administratively in the colonial era, is fast eroding.

Secondly, the book outrightly condemns the desecration of the Christian faith by the defunct African Writers Series led by Chinua Achebe. It goes ahead to condemn corruption, police brutality and ineptitude in Nigeria. It mocks the entire African Society using Nigeria as case study plus other miscellaneous themes.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: Dec 10, 2020
• ISBN: 9781665580564

Osi M.M. Osi

Osi M.M. Osi was born Ezemoney Osi in 1983 to the family of Mr. Nelson Osi and Late Mrs Charity Osi. He had his Primary School Education at the University of Port Harcourt demonstration Primary School, Choba, Port Harcourt. And he had his Secondary School Education at County Grammar School, Ikwerre/Etche where he finished as the first laboratory prefect of the school. He studied Mechanical Engineering at the University of Port Harcourt where he founded the literary journal, IGELE AFRICA, to encourage young black African wannabe intellectuals. He is presently a classroom teacher at a Government Secondary School in Rivers State, Nigeria.

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Copyright © 2020 OSI M. M. OSI. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 06/14/2021

ISBN: 978-1-6655-8057-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6655-8056-4 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

PART 1    FIRST DAY AT SCHOOL

1    County Grammar School

2    Igwuruta House

3    More New Students Arrive

4    Afternoon Preparatory Class

5    Siesta

6    Games

7    Supper

8    Night Preparatory Class

PART TWO    IZUCHI MADUKA’S JUNIOR SECONDARY SCHOOL DAYS

9    The People Run

10    The Fall Of Blanc

11    Grudge, Not Extensive Learning

12    Chop Alone And Die Alone

13    Two And Half Years After

14    Saturday Inspection

15    The Most Ugly Boy In County Village

16    No Seniority In The Field

17    Vengeance

PART THREE    IZUCHI MADUKA’S SENIOR SECONDARY SCHOOL DAYS

18    The Fall Of Allison

19    A Night Of Social Gathering

20    The Death Of Elliot

21    Business Moguls

22    Jangle-Over Christians

23    The Gladiators

24   Head Hunters And Thieves In County Village

25   A Sunday In County Village

26   Graduation

AUTHOR’S NOTE

ALMOST EVERY CHARACTER in this story is living today. It is because of the fact that they are alive I am doing this author’s note. I have to sincerely and properly represent everyone otherwise I would not dare to look my dudes in their faces forever more.

Firstly, the character, ELLIOT, represent two persons. They are my bone, flesh and blood brothers, ONYEMAECHI MPI and ADE. ELLIOT was ONYEMAECHI MPI from when he was first introduced in the story until the point he was about to be killed in CHAPTER TWENTY (The Death of Elliot). At the point of death, he was ADE. ADE was shot dead one Christmas eve at Rumuokoro junction by an un-investigating police escort attached to an interstate transport company. Four days after he was killed the police announced on radio that ADE was a Niger Delta Militant who met his waterloo during a fierce gun fight with a gallant police escort attached to a transport company. Nothing was said or done over ADE’s death until today. May his soul find repose in Christ, Amen. ELLIOT became MPI again, after his death in the story.

Secondly, the characters, BAR (my very good friend CHIMAOBI ONUIGBO) and THE gods MUST BE CRAZY (my friend Ozuowhor whom I was told is now a pastor) were not the original "GLADIATORS’. The original gladiators were my blood brothers, CHIDI MMOM and AKROMATE TEME respectively. It was TEME who was beaten by MMOM in that unforgettable fight at the ORIJI HOUSE ISAKA. BAR and the gods becoming the gladiators in the story with BAR being beaten by the gods, are a ploy I invented to gratify my FICTIOUS intents.

Thirdly, I want to state it clearly that the character, CHIBUEZE, was my (IZUCHI’s) first school father or master. My first school father was a boy named CHISOM AKANINWA. But he was never nice and caring to me. He seized all my pocket money and left me always dirty, beggarly and hungry. They were four seniors of the SSS3 class in the corner. These are their names: CHISOM AKANINWA (CHIBUEZE), EZE MPI (older brother of ONYEMACHI MPI and CHIZINDU MPI (ELLIOT and BUCHI). (EZE MPI is the character, IKE), CHRISTIAN EJIGINI and OBINUCHI WIKE alias ELDER. And we were four JSSS1 toads who served all four of them as masters. MYSELF, ONYEMECHI MPI, NDUBUISI ONYEAGHALA, and EZEMONYE WIKE (my namesake). There were two striking events that happened those sweet and golden days that I will hardly ever forget about EJIGINI.

The first was that Tuesday morning when I returned to the almost empty village from my first midterm break and had my anus fucked by a prefect. I cried bitterly back to my hostel and all I said was, nothing, when asked why I wept so bitterly by Chisom. Ejigini and the rest of the seniors were there. I knew how greatly they love us, their boys, and I knew what would have happened if I told the truth. I was only ten then. But that horrible experience lived with me until my SSS3 (final year) when, on one evening, I was so greatly pressed with the immoral and lustful desire for a woman in a boys’ College. Expecting to find a girl in that kind of environment was like expecting satan to be sincere in his actions. So I was forced to use (there was neither penetration nor ejaculation) my school son, UGOCHUKWU (Not AJIKERE) in an exercise that did not last up to a minute before I quickly disengaged for fear of being caught in such a rowdy environment and period of school term. I am sorry, Ugo, I was a bad master. I will give the full details of this incidence in my autobiography, God willing.

The second was on that night when the entire village was to gather in the school’s chapel to see the stage play: "THE MARRIAGE OF IBIERE, written by MR. DUKE the school’s literature teacher. Five naira was the gate fee which was a very expensive amount in an environment where almost everything was scarce and insatiable. The SSS3 students were allowed to enter without paying. I did not have the money and my master, Ejigini, did not have it either. He instructed me to wait outside, in front of the chapel’s rear door, that he knew what he would do. I stood there until I heard my name in the hall and the door opened slightly. Ejigini quickly reached out his hand and pulled me in. By the time the lights came back on for the following scene I was already seated at the SSS2 (class five) side of the hall. That was a VIP position for the JSS1 toad that I was then. I would later take up the major character, Ibiere, two years later when the play was to be staged again.

Few days to the day he would sit for his last paper at the WAEC examinations, he called me and asked what plans I had for the future. I told him that the Acting Agric Prefect, Senior OLUOH AUGUSTINE had accepted me as his school son. Ejigini objected to this, reasons being that AUGUSTINE was a member of faraway Ohochukwu house and that he was small in stature like I was then. Ejigini pleaded with the ACTING ASSISTANT IGWURUTA HOUSE PREFECT senior CHIGOZIE NNAJI alias MINISTER FOR FOOD RESOURCES, COUNTY VILLAGE, to adopt me as school son. I was privileged to stay in a ‘Box Room’ all through my year two as NNAJI’s school son. Even after he left COUNTY VILLAGE, Ejigini never stopped calling at the hostel to know how I was doing with my studies and he always gave me little financial bonuses whenever he paid me such visits for which I am still grateful till today. When my mother died in 2005, Ejigini gave me five thousand naira, which was quite a lavish sum then, and I have never forgotten it.

One day, during my time as the first laboratory prefect of the school, I returned to the hostel during break and found a little JSS1 boy weeping in front of the social prefect’s corner which was directly opposite mine. I took pity on him and asked to know why he was crying. He told me that his white shirt did not have the school’s badge on it and the social prefect had seized his sandals in the morning hoping to give him a portion of work to do at that time of the evening. The little boy was a day student on his way back home to the city of Port Harcourt. Immediately, I called on my good friend, NDUBUISI JACKSON, the SOCIAL PREFECT, and pleaded with him to give the boy that day as a day of grace. The SOCIAL PREFECT accepted and gave him back his sandals. I put my hands in my pocket and gave him a cash gift of thirty naira. I asked to know his name. He told me that he was so and so AKANINWA (I cannot remember his first name now). The surname, AKANINWA, affected me greatly. Do you know Chisom? I asked him. He said, Yes. I explained to the little boy that Chisom was my master during my class one. Then I let him go home full of joy and radiance.

The next day he came back to me with a note from his brother, Asonye Akaninwa. Asonye was Chisom’s younger brother. He was a student of the SSS2 during my JSSS1. And was also the Assistant Ohochukwu House Prefect during my JSSS2. The note was addressed to Stanley asking Stanley to take good care of the little boy because he is a relative of Asonye. The boy told me that he would be moving into the hostel on Saturday of that week and that he would like me to be his master. I accepted. Himself and his cousin, Chituru, served me throughout that academic year.

I also want to point out here that the character "KUNLE’, is my beloved Senior, CHINAZOR STANLEY MMOM whom I hold in high esteem till today. He and the Science Teachers (MR. THOMAS, MR WAGOR and MR. CHUKWU) played a major role to see me become the first laboratory prefect unopposed and ‘free of cost.’ It was the PHYSICS teacher, MR. THOMAS, who gave me the answers to all the questions that would be asked me by the hand-over committee during the interview. MR. WAGOR and MR. CHUKWU, the CHEMISTRY and BIOLOGY teachers respectively, accepted me and my beloved Assistant, PATRICK IGBUDU, as their candidates for the office of the laboratory prefect and his Assistant in that prestigious college.

My school sons were HARRY A. HARRY, OBIHIELE UCHENDU (my nephew), CHITURU AKANINWA and his brother, LUCKY ELEWA, NKEM OBODO, PROMISE, UGOCHUKWU AJIKERE, OGEDI JOHNSON and UGOCHUKWU. Presently, it is only HARRY A. HARRY that is close to me. I can see OBIHELE if I want. Ogedi and I read Mechanical Engineering at the same university and at the same period of time. I stumble into NKEM once in a while. I have not set my eyes on Ugochukwu, Lucky, Ajikere and Promise since we left the village. And I miss them so greatly.

Gift Wagor alias ManPassMan, I salute you! Do you still remember that historic pot of soup you cooked? You emerged from that forest behind the Oriji House Isaka with a dead squirrel in your hand. You told everyone that it was your clever trap in the forest that caught the squirrel and it was unanimously agreed that the squirrel should be used to cook a pot of soup. A pot? No! A bucket of soup! The biggest metal bucket in Oriji House was used to make that soup. You guys ate it for some days and when you began to run out of soup, you, ManPassMan, added over four litters of water to the remaining soup in the bucket, and you added salt, pepper, palm oil and re-cooked the soup all over again. This process continued until the end of the term. You ate that soup from the first week of the term till the thirteenth, when school finally closed for holidays!

Again, ManPassMan, I know that you still remember that great fight between Ini Sunday and Eze Jones Amadi (The then Agric Prefect) that Sunday afternoon? Jones was badly bruised and was resting with all of us on the grass. And you came, in full support of Jones, hollering: come, Ini, you get mind beat Eze… You get mind beat Eze… but Eze burst out: ManPassMan Ini no beat me! And we all began to laugh.

One day, Uche Anucha went to far away Ohochukwu House and hired Dogwu to help him collect his sandals from you.

You seized Uche’s sandals over an amount of money Uche owed you. when Dogwu and Uche finally arrived your corner with Dogwu boasting about how mercilessly he would deal with you if you refused to give back Uche’s sandals. Dogwu and Uche met you eating. When Dogwu saw your very intimidating size, your brutal black face, and your weapon of warfare – a huge metal hoe which lay under your bed – he began to plead with Uche to pay back the money and not make trouble. We all began to laugh… GIFT WAGOR, UCHE ANUCHA, DOGWU, EZE JONES AMADI alias CHAIO, INI SUNDAY – I salute you all, my fraternal brothers!

KELECHI TASIE alias KENINO I hail you! KENINO, do you remember that morning when your school son’s mother came visiting and brought to the village, a huge flask of jollof rice? We were about five seniors of the SSS3 class and your son also brought with him two of his friends. And the party sneaked off to your box room (ASSISTANT ORIJI HOUSE CAPTAIN’S BOX ROOM). In the room, you poured out a worthy portion of the jollof rice for your son and his friends and sent them into the hostel. While we the seniors ate ours in the box room. Our plate of jollof rice did not last ten seconds before it was devoured. Then I went into the hostel to the juniors who ate peacefully and in a most organized manner. Please, can I join you? I asked the boys. Yes, senior, they replied but you could see No, senior clearly written on their faces… only that it was too difficult for them to refuse a senior like me. KENINO, you roared from the box room and protested my shameless behaviour. While you were still rebuking and condemning my very shameful manners, CHINEDU NWEKE left you and asked to be allowed by the juniors, to join in the meal. Again they said to CHIENDU, Yes, Senior, but you could still see objection, anger and bitter hatred written allover their faces. Now KENINO you went mad at us. You went really mad. You roared and roared at shameless seniors who begged from their children after devouring the lion’s portion of the jollof rice. You were still ranting when the remaining two seniors with you left the box room and came begging to be allowed of the boys to join in the meal… the boys asked them to join. And last of all, you, their master, who should have protected them, also came begging to be allowed to join. The boys said, join. And when you did, the boys began to cry…

CHINEDU NWEKE alias EDUMEN, I will never forget you! I regret that, even though you fought it doggedly like a man should, that sickness overcame you and took you away. Wherever you are, continue to rest on until the resurrection morning when we shall reunite and exchange fraternal greetings speaking the esoteric vernacular of Heaven… that language we the less privileged occupants of this passing world call tongues of the Holy Spirit.

EDUMEN, it was you who told all of us that fights are best separated with MOUTH so as to teach the fighters how wrong it is to exchange blows, no matter the grievance. Your philosophy spread like wild bush fire in harmattan. It was known all over County Village that fights should be separated with pleas from the mouth and that taught us great lessons. EDUMEN the Big Goat for Sale! You remember all this? KELECHI TASIE, CHINEDU NWEKE… my blood brothers, I can sight you now in my mind’s eyes! We will meet again, someday…

KINGSLEY URANTA the then ASSISTANT IGWURUTA HOUSE PREFECT, do you remember when on that night, while we were away in the classrooms observing the compulsory night prep. A thief broke into the hostel and into my cabinet. The thief stole every milk tin (okoko) of money in my cabinet and you suggested that we all go to your uncle, a juju priest known as Professor? Do you remember this? ONYEMAECHI MPI, GEORGE AMANDAH (BIG GEORGE), ADE (RIP) and my humble self all had our monies in several tins in my cabinet which the thief broke up and stole off the tins. We first went to a juju priest in Igwuruta who told us that we will watch everything in his mirror and would catch the thief. But he asked us pay a thousand naira, that was a very huge sum then and we did not have it. So, you suggested that we tried Prof. promising that with you, we will not be asked to pay much. And we went. Upon arrival, you went over and had a brief chat with Prof. After that, we were all let into the shrine. Prof explained that his master will speak to us from the coffin in the shrine and that when he did, we should not be afraid. We all agreed. Prof made us kneel in front of the coffin and began his incantations. The thing we observed next was a voice speaking from the coffin. Greetings, my Professor, the voice said. Greetings, my lord, replied Prof. Greetings, my students! The voice saluted us but fear wouldn’t let us reply. Then ECHI spoke up replying Greetings, my lord. Immediately I whispered into his ear asking, Echi you call this thing lord? Come, Ezemonye, make you no mumu here o ... This place no be school o… he threatened in reply. I quickly behaved myself because Echi was so greatly possessed by the Ikwerre/Etche spirit that he could damn the consequences and beat me up in that shrine right before the talking coffin!

Next, Prof. said he would write a letter to his master which he did and burnt it to ashes outside. He had not finished speaking when a crumpled piece of paper flew into his sitting room where we were all seated and waiting. Prof picked it up and spread it on the table. The letter was written with charcoal and this was what it said:

Ezemonye, Echi, and George should go home and ask themselves questions.

On our way back to school I told the rest of you that I won’t be seeing Prof again. Why, you all asked and I said that juju has known my name and I did not like it. I cannot now quantify the amount of confusion that statement I made, brought into our midst. ECHI, ADE, GEORGE all agreed with me. We won’t see Prof. again because of the morbid fear of the fact that juju has our names on his altar.

A few days after that encounter at Prof’s, we got talking about the money and we all unanimously agreed that we were heavily manipulated by the thief with a strong juju, by the thief, to forget about the matter the way we did. We did not report to the House Master; we only felt we could handle it ourselves and at the end of it all, we lost everything. GEORGE AMANDAH, KINGSLEY URANTA, I sight you guys, my esoteric brothers… blood is thicker than water, you know!

ANIEKAN IFON, ANGA TAMUNO OMIE the two exceptional prodigies whose academic thoroughness I dreaded so much! Aniekan emerged the best junior WAEC candidate of our time!

Two names I must not fail to specially mention here are CHINEDU GOLDEN ANYANWU and ISIOMA CYRIL AZUBUIKE, my corner-mates in class four. I was so close to these two that we were often called the three musketeers. I see Chinedu quite often and he has been of very great financial support to me. Chinedu and I have searched all over social media for Isioma all to no avail. We miss him and would be glad to reunite