Newsletters to the Bowling Club: A Fantasy League

By John H. Murphy II

Each week, for three years, a group of guys gathered at Seneca Bowl in Wichita, Kansas, as members of the Rockwell Collins Fantasy Bowling League. A brainchild of author John H. Murphy II, the league served as a source of fun and fellowship, complete with a weekly newsletter.
In Newsletters to the Bowling Club, Murphy presents a collection of those bowling memories, tales, and antics sprinkled with profound Biblical wisdom. He shares his passion for bowling in a diary of the fantasy bowling league, along with humorous stories, jokes, witticisms, and pin head puns.
Newsletters to the Bowling Club offers a glimpse into the sport of bowling and the many facets of what happens on and off the alley.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Archway Publishing
• Release date: Nov 11, 2020
• ISBN: 9781480897632

John H. Murphy II

John H. Murphy II has worked at an avionics service center as a technician and more recently as a team leader for radio and frequency systems since 1985. In high school, he bowled on a junior league and later on a number of adult leagues. After a hiatus, he started a fantasy bowling league. Murphy is a husband, father, grandfather, coach, and is active in the church.

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Copyright © 2020 John H. Murphy II.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by

any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying,

recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system

without the written permission of the author except in the case

of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, names, incidents,

organizations, and dialogue in this novel are either the products

of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

Archway Publishing

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or

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may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those

of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher,

and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are

models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Scripture taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

ISBN: 978-1-4808-9762-5 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4808-9763-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020919988

Archway Publishing rev. date: 11/05/2020

Rockwell Collins Fantasy

Bowling League

Founder: Loy Ruff

President: John H. Murphy II

Treasurer: Brian Hazen

To my parents, John and Linda

CONTENTS

Foreword

Preface

1   A Fantasy Bowling League

2   Fantasy Writer

3   Guest Speakers

4   Parables, Proverbs, and Fables

5   Swimsuit Edition

6   Fantasy Sponsor

7   The Sandbagger Letters

8   Fantasy Politics

9   Past, Present, and Future

Afterword

About the Author

FOREWORD

This book contains a collection of bowling memories, tales, and antics with profound biblical wisdom that John has brought together in a hilarious fashion that anyone will enjoy reading. John shows his passion for bowling in a diary of the fantasy bowling league, along with the bowling tales. It’s a must-read for anyone desiring a glimpse into bowling and the many facets of what happens on and off the alley.

In true form, John brings out his dedication of bowling along with the side distractions that can make even the best of athletes lose focus. The book gives the Wichita State bowling teams, TJ’s Deli, and the history of Wichita’s bowling the due credit they deserve.

Those of us who had the joy of bowling in the fantasy bowling league know that the camaraderie extends long past the time on the alley and will have those memories to enjoy the rest of our lives.

Ken Forfia

PREFACE

My dad was a great bowler and may have had a few fancy bowling balls at one time, but he always went back to the reliable old Brunswick Black Beauty. My mother is a reader and avid sports fan. I don’t remember reading but maybe one book in high school. Then the switch was turned on when a coworker introduced me to something that caught my interest, science fiction. Now I mainly read nonfiction books and usually have a book marker in two books on my nightstand, a pleasure reading book and the Bible.

One day someone invited me to go bowling after work with a few other employees. I remember digging through my closet for my bowling ball and thinking that it had been years since I’d bowled on a league but this could be fun. I met them at Seneca Bowl in Wichita, Kansas, and there may have been three or four of us at the beginning. We would bowl three games and head home for the evening. Soon after, I thought that we needed to liven this up by keeping stats and inviting more people. Therefore, I made a flyer and sent it out via email to several other employees. The flyer announced the formation of the Rockwell Collins Fantasy Bowling League (RCFBL) that bowled on Thursdays at 4 p.m. at Seneca Bowl. I put a couple teasers in the flyer to attract some attention: Come see the tomb of the Unknown Bowler and Rumor has it that the Wichita State University women’s bowling team may be there.

I started keeping stats and writing a weekly newsletter. Since I started what I called the Rockwell Collins Fantasy Bowling League, I appointed myself as president. I credited Loy Ruff as the founder because he was the first to start inviting others to come out to bowl. Then I appointed Brian Hazen as treasurer to keep track of our split pot. A split would cost the bowler a dime, but if you picked up the split, the pot was your reward.

The qualifications for being a fantasy bowler were listed in the first newsletter, and the best thing about membership was that you were not obligated to be there weekly. Many of my original ideas for the fantasy league faded away, such as the high game pot, most consistent pot, split jersey, and low game trophy. Only the split pot, statistics, and annual guest speaker stayed with the league. Each newsletter letter included a short witty story, notable performances, and statistics. I signed each newsletter Your self-appointed league president. Then I would laugh or chuckle at every newsletter that I wrote and hand it to my wife to proofread. She read most of the newsletters with a stone-cold face and gave them back to me or set them aside.

PART 1

A FANTASY

BOWLING LEAGUE

In the Beginning

Volume 1, Number 1

Welcome to the Rockwell Collins Fantasy Bowling League. Last week the dream team assembled at Seneca Bowl. Each participant bowled at least three games, except for Kim Jones, who made an honorary appearance. He looked as if he didn’t want to be associated with losers, so he made up an excuse and quickly left. Loy Ruff, the founder of the fantasy league, brought his harem but didn’t share any ladies with us, as he and his harem bowled several lanes down from the dream team. He apologized later. Next week we have some great plans to liven up the atmosphere. Below are the membership requirements:

1. Be alive.

2. Be able to roll a ball.

3. Know your first name.

4. Be able to spell your first name.

Coming Attractions

1. High game pot.

2. Most