Back and Forth Forever; a Biography

By Edward Tarmac

The book Back and Forth Forever; A Biography is an inciteful treatise on the life and experiences of Stephen Clements that portrays the individual in his Bildungsroman and formative development as a worthy cynosure of interest and admiration. He had lived in an unorthodox and Bohemian lifestyle as he progressed into a genuine and complete boulevardier and dilettante. Primordially disadvantaged, he did overcome debilitating and obtrusive obstacles that enabled him an exponentially and compensatory advantage as he dealt with his conflicts and inherit deficits by overachieving. His experiences are for the most part idiopathic as he has a vast knowledge and inner drive to pursue high ideals and a propensity for the unconventional. He strives for recognition and appreciation that he was ill-afforded.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Sep 23, 2020
• ISBN: 9781664131248

Edward Tarmac

Edward Tarmac has a master’s degree in social science as does Stephen Clements although he has gone to a different university. Like Stephen in his older years, he has published over fifty manuscripts including seven books, short stories, a chap book of poetry, editorials in papers and anthologies. He also has world records in weightlifting and has traveled extensively in the United States and looks forward to campaigning up mountains and volcanoes in Washington State, Tanzania and Hawaii. Also he plans to achieve more publications including novellas and lengthy memoirs along with a dissertation.

Book preview

Copyright © 2020 by Stephen Clements.

ISBN:      Softcover      978-1-6641-3125-5

                eBook            978-1-6641-3124-8

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 09/22/2020

Xlibris

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Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 1

At 12:10 PM March the Second he was delivered into vacuous proxemics. His father, Arthur Leo Clements, laughed as he drove his current family of three from General Hospital. He weighed seven pounds seven ounces and was a long infant at twenty-two inches. He nursed his mom and then mother of two. His mom, Irma, noticed how fast and coordinated he was. At six months he had a P.Q. (physical quotient) of one fifty as doctors were amazed by his prowess, a prodigy if you will.

At ten months he fell off the bed, suffering a mild concussion and hairline fracture. His loving mother never got over this incident and she told him the details as he was a problemed youth, whether he inherited conflicts or was a neurotic kid due to this literal crash. His brother Tom also fell on his head as he did recall. She told him that You were so fast; I couldn’t keep up with you. Also, while you were two years old you were hit by a car and was thrown.

Stephen was a cute baby. A picture of him at ten months old featured his smiling smirk. Did he still possess his soul? Or did he lose it by the fall? He at a year old did start rocking in his crib, a symptom of neuroses and was manifest of still occurring while he was twenty-seven, yet off and on.

His acute awareness only began when he was a two-year -old. He cut his right thumb on a sharp edged can and his father brought him to a local hospital while on the way he witnessed some ‘angels’ singing. Actually, this band of performers were some high school girls that sang in a chorus. This prodigious singing was nothing short of heavenly. This was December as the ubiquitous snow was beautiful, too. It was dark and he could only perceive ‘ghosts’ and even this young he thought of opera singing that was so extraordinary.

That Christmas he and his family went sliding down the thick snow-covered roads in a large enough sleigh and stopped just before they were to pass a substantially dressed " Santa,’ also on a sleigh. This older man inn red and white clothing handed Stephen a book and some other gifts for his older sister. Michael was just a year-and -a-half and not mature enough to realize this interlude on a snowy night. This book he was not able to make sense of as he was still a fledging youth and he could barely remember the title of the book.

That selfsame winter his sister, Margaret, was playing outside in the snow when he got caught on a mound of snow. She rushed inside to fetch his mom who freed him finally. But after some time, he realized Margaret somehow tied him to the icy fetter. At issue now was the contingency of his father setting all of this up. After all she was the first born and daddy’s little girl.

Also, that winter he climbed up the aged ski jump across the road as his mother was beside herself, in other words, and in her terminology, was to scream bloody murder. But moments later he withdrew from the precarious perch.

Another adventure he encountered was his jumping out his family’s ‘57 Chevy before it was to break down on the bottom of the hill. Later that night he brazenly descended the declivity to try to push the heavy vehicle up this steep grade. After numerous tries he hopelessly ascended the hill to tell his parents that he really wanted them to have back their car. This display did much to please his family and made him proud.

Living in Slocum Heights near the large city of Syracuse he was next door when an Afro-American kid banged his toe and his right toe was bleeding. Stephen ran home to tell his parents who were supportive as they thought highly of him and that he could really make something of himself. But for now, he was content to go about his daily affairs without a negative look back.

At three and a half he along with Maggie and Mike and his father did venture through the surrounding countryside and sing the song Streets of Loredo. This reflection drew him back to the temporal dimension as he visualized little green plastic soldiers and how the siblings played war games with them. And then they would campaign down the hill to enter the rustic and solitary ‘white house’ as this residence was alluded to or at least this two-family habitation came to attach the moniker.

Also memorable was the times when the two older kids rode on the back of his father’s three speed, a Huffy that was black and gray with the two baskets that could support two kids as well as the books and other items that their father brought with him to school.

Still three years old he participated in nursery school, playing outdoors, finger painting and reciting the alphabet and counting to one hundred; things that a precocious youth could do to prepare for all the responsibilities in life, love and death. Stephen could never forget the incident where he approached a kid’s space in a sandbox and the reaction whereby he bit him very hard. But that’s what happens when two male children have a conflict as such.

In the yard of this remote and weather-beaten home was a sign supported by a chain that revealed a message to all that may pass by, ‘No trespassing.’ One day two individuals encroached upon the premises as Stephen forewarned them that there were no visitors allowed on the property. After soliciting help from his father, it was made clear that no intruders were allowed on the property and due to the urgency of this happenstance his father made his plea to get to the bottom of the conflict. Meanwhile his brother sat down under the rear fender and as the vehicle started issuing away, he cut his head on the rusty metal process. Immediately he started bleeding profusely and was rushed to the hospital to sew his wound. Stephen thought that Michael had cut half of his head off but indeed there was only a small laceration. He would think that he had a furrow of sutured bone with threads hanging from these sewed processes.

Some months later both boys were to lie down in a mud puddle and splash around having the time of their lives. They were to involve themselves in some improper and dangerous activities and as they did have a great deal of fun. The boys’ mother could not keep a watchful eye on the three children as she was busy working and typing her husband’s papers for his P.H.D. Their father was teaching and studying a good fourteen hours a day and that was on a fast one. Living in the outskirts of Syracuse his family was considered separate and self-contained. Some of the family’s distant neighbors skied in the winter months and walked by the garbage dump that large trucks frequented to unload refuse and filth.

One evening the kids were outside playing in the spacious yard when a hawk was flying above zeroing on Stephen. In a memorable account whereby he would remember being rescued by his father he was lifted into his arms and the ominous bird thought better of preying upon the vulnerable and innocent child. Stephen would grow and mature into a capable and lettered adult and be a veritable chip off the old block. There were quite a few more incredible exploits that the boys experienced and years later he would write about like the volumes of skiers and wildlife that occupied the wooded and pastoral Syracuse outlying area.

Some pleasant and familial experiences included some of the family’s interaction and reaction to some of Art’s students hanging out and engaging in persiflage and some farmers frequenting the environ to have the kids experience a communion with some sheep and other livestock that shared a distant and adjacent contiguity. The summer of ‘63 the entire family swam in the pool of the University of Syracuse and walked around the hills of the graded topology.

Arthur acquired his doctorate degree from Syracuse University and the Clements’ relocated to the town of Endwell some sixty miles south of Syracuse. They moved into a fairly large and modern habitation on the crest of a hill from the active and highly populated city streets below this semi rustic habitat.

Stephen was three and a half and it was now the autumn of 1963 when he met and interacted with a sixteen-year-old that lived next to their treed and bushy back yard. Next to the somewhat suburban and geomorphic house was a set of woods with a floor of ferns and a sprinkling of brambles. The boys’ mom purchased for them a pair of tools consisting of hammers and screw drivers. They would hammer on the planks and rocks in the back yard and the entire day was comprised of loud knocks and pounds. Both boys were aggressive and hyperactive and destructive. The two would walk down the hill to the convenience store and buy some firecrackers and explode them out back and enjoy the powerful and loud noise they made. With these hammers they undertook to explode an entire pack of these explosives and the explosion themselves would repel the hammer themselves as they were powerful and forceful media.

Margaret, now who was a five-year-old girl was in kindergarten and had friends just proximal to the family’s home. Stephen tried to socialize with these older kids, but they did not appreciate their sister’s younger brother. Both boys would pursue these children and try to get involved in games such as tag and hide-and-go-seek. However, they gave up on being friendly and hung around one another and the teenager from next door.

One evening the adolescent, Jamie, had a sword and Stephen remembered that it resembled a metal roll of a tape like consistency. Anyway, he undertook to throw some broken cinder blocks and other debris into the abandoned pool on the teenager’s property. This receptacle of a sort was full of detritus and bent metal pieces and Jamie carried the protesting Stephen back to his parents saying that he was misbehaving when really it was this other guy who was the culprit. Both boys were to throw some of the broken pieces that they hammered on into this cement vacant pool. Jamie didn’t appreciate it one bit. Stephen’s parents swore that they were gonna discipline him for his behavior.

One night around eight o’clock he was walking along the road on the acclivity when he spotted a dead and flattened racoon that didn’t make it across the semi busy thoroughfare. Stephen picked it up and studied it a little bit as it was interesting and an adumbration in his most favorite academic focus, biology, where he was to excel at and dissect some minor animals, as well. The next day he dug a hole in the back yard and buried this unfortunate animal. Some years later he collected snakes and toads and was very interested in wildlife that occupied a set of woods and an active creek. His father was a bird watcher and nurtured some unfortunate creatures until they were able to fend for themselves in the wild.

Down the hill from the family’s habitation was a bank that was to stand out because it was in the shape of an octagon. He never occupied its interior but when his family went places, he would always look at it and appreciate its design. On Sundays Irma, his mom would bring the kids to church that was located a couple of miles from their exurbian haunt and she tried hard to have her children respect and honor the tenets of the Bible as she was pious and devoted to the Catholic faith. It was a small sort of church although he didn’t remember any sermons, priests or altar boys. Both brothers were atheists and thought that religion was ridiculous and far-fetched.

One Sunday morning the car his mother was driving slid on the icy back road and got stuck in a ditch. She tried to spin the tires to stabilize the car, an old model of a Rambler, and they had to wait for someone to assist them in this effort. That morning they missed the service.

Stephen’s family only resided in Endwell for eight months. long enough for a feel of urban ubiety. Now that his parents had salted away a substantial nest egg of money they moved into another suburban domicile, a narrow brown brick building with a fairly large back yard. Toward the middle of this capacious yard was the stone barbeque that lended a rustic motif to a modern and level topology as it was to inhabit an innocent set of swings across from a sturdy and imposing garage that offered a dual composite of home and annex.

It was July of ‘64 as the two brothers explored the back of the yard with a tenuous fence and tree house that hovered over a wooden stairway. There was a gap in the fence as the boys crawled through and inspected the confines of the brick garage and they found receptacles of paint. nails and brushes. Down the street which was devoid of a sidewalk was a cross street with a weeded and disarrayed field that occupied an obviously abandoned lot. Across from this sore spot was a rectangular building, lime in color and it displayed a sign, Vestal Center Community Club. Beyond an open field with a baseball backstop was a set of woods that nurtured a flowing creek between a stretch of bushes and a steep grade of hill. The boys pretty much inspected what they could in a quiet and still afternoon and returned home to report to their parents what they had encountered.

After supper, the two decided to continue their reconnaissance as they enjoyed the warm and breezy evening. Walking up the mild grade of the street they lived on they turned right on Route 26 and came up to Marty’s, a store that featured a black and white sign and a drug store across the corner of a small parking lot. Directly across the drug store was a barber shop that sat next to another grocery store with a large sign that read, Fort Apache. They proceeded to walk to another corner and turn right in which they passed a Baptist church and a steep hill that afforded the elementary school, Vestal Central Elementary School with its flat and cultivated field near a set of modest woods.

He recalled the creek that flowed under the bridges that was proximal to the school just past the Baptist Church. During the summer months there were some pretty teenage girls that walked around barefoot. Stephen liked feet, females’ feet that he considered erotic and sexy. But he always thought so and years later he had to, had to, look at these females’ feet especially with nail polish on them. He thought of girls touching him with them and shooting him bleeding on them. Over the course of his life he had more than twenty females do this.

He was attracted to a little girl down the street. Her name was Diane. She was four years of age as well and her face was usually sullied by her playing in the back yard. She was hoydenish. She wore sweatshirts unto Stephen and would pout on occasion. she played with trucks like boys and tended to avoid Stephen. She had an older brother, of fourteen who, like some of the neighborhood kids, would beat upon him as he to his dying day did not know the reason. Maybe he was too aggressive, he pondered. Her family lived a few doors down the street, Park Avenue. He liked looking at this youthful gamine and couldn’t wait to see her feet and so he fantasized what they would look like.

In ‘64 another family from the proximity were the Zedicks, their mom and two daughters Julie and Cathy who were around his age. They were pretty and years later, in the seventies his brother Michael would be duped by this younger gal who kind of thought that mike was good looking although his brother didn’t think as such. These girls’ father, whose name was Zeke, had multiple Sclerosis and had difficulty walking and Stephen would allude to him as ‘walking fancy.’ Irma thought that designation was kind of cute. So did the girls.

A couple of doors down the street toward the club was a spacious back yard that had a large metal cannonlike feature and Stephen was gorgonized by it and wanted to claim it for his own. Sometimes he would hop the fence and inspect it closely and think how it looked like a cannon that he saw in books. It had quite a realistic and timeworn aspect and he would amuse himself by imagining it being loaded and discharged. This object was propped up against a fence and was a little rusty although valuable seeming.

The house that his family purchased had a brown somewhat tarry and sandy texture to it and in nineteen sixty-four it was retailed for twenty-eight thousand dollars just an average price for a large home. It had three bedrooms, three porches, two bathrooms and kitchen attic and living room. It also contained a foyer and den where his father could study at.

All three children were mature enough to bathe separately. One morning there was no hot water and he was in the tub by the time he was to realize it. Using the sink his sister was to fill up a paper cup and pour that hot water into the tub. She did this about fifty times and he was able to clean himself. But this was probably the nicest thing she ever did for him.

Margaret, Stephen and Michael, at five, four and three were given a stipend, allowance weekly of fifty cents each. With the money the two brothers would frequent the store and purchase some soda, candy and chips. they would usually spend a quarter each time they went there. sometimes they would buy some caps as they exploded these in the back yard. Their parents were to petulantly disapprove of this activity and so did some of the neighbors who called their parents and complained. The boys did stow this fulminating frailty and learned to play better games to entertain themselves. They would climb the treehouse and talk about living out in the wild while sitting up in that habitation.

The boys raked leaves that autumn and made money doing so by their father their neighbors and were to save enough to buy themselves kites and matchbox cars and sometimes rubber band propelled airplanes. Margaret was in another fifth-grade class as she was to transfer from the kindergarten class from Endwell. She was a beautiful young girl who loved daddy and her friends.

As Christmas presented itself all three were pleased to receive gifts. Stephen and Michael appreciated and enjoyed their corduroy shirts, electrically powered cars and Michael’s wooden ship and Stephen’s trucks. Margaret liked her dress and shoes as now she was aware of the differences among both sexes. Art was consternated by his wife as she bought all three watches that they didn’t need. She was unsettled as she said to him, " I thought they could appreciate time, time for school, meals and bedtimes.

It was a snowy and breezy cold winter in January and the snow was sometimes knee deep as the children were to shovel this white sheet of disparate crystals. They would pile this matter onto small hills of caked and icy firmness and also make some good money.

Television, in this ‘64,’65 season, was wholesomely entertaining and cozy. Mr. Ed, My Favorite Martian and ‘The Patty Duke Show" were running into multiple episodic seasons as all three kids thoroughly enjoyed themselves and these foci.

Stephen liked particularly the show, "Lost in Space’ as it was futuristic and exciting. He liked especially Angela Cartwright and the show lasted some four or more years. He thought the actor Guy Williams was realistic as he ran the various aspects of space travel and relocating to a distant planet with its manifold adventures.

Soon he was to learn how to play chess with his old man and would win often as he was a gifted child with quite a logical acumen. Years later at the youth home that he was placed he would play a kid there who was almost world class and studied the game with tremendous ability and expertise.

That winter as well he frequented the park to watch the skaters zip back and forth on the flooded tennis courts. The park officials were to flood the courts and the water would fastly freeze. By the street just a few yards from the building that posed as the park club was a large barrel that was filled with dry debris and set ablaze as the flames fanned by the cold wind enabled this fire to endure. There were a few people standing around it in an attempt to warm themselves in the ubiquitous cold and he ambled over to this object to warm himself leaning his back onto the metal surface. Instantly, he felt a surge of warmth and a redolence of scorched plastic and immediately removed himself from the heated process. Turning around he looked at the smoking material that was now in flames and realized that his coat was on fire. Quickly he removed his garment to avoid being consumed by this molten mess that he just barely was able to avoid and felt the icy cold whipping about him. Shivering, he made it back to his family’s habitation to relate the details to his mom who was overtly sympathetic to this contretemps.

Stephen enjoyed onanism, thinking about beautiful women, usually dark haired, shooting him many times as he lay writhing on a miniature bank of snow. For a girl to do this she would have to be very august, stunning; her age, twenty something. He especially wanted a pretty Italian woman to do this. After shooting him he would like to have her caress him until he met his demise. He would also like her to rub his blood all over him as she relished every moment of her doing this. The gun would be a revolver with a short barrel. Her hands would be beautiful with her nails a dark crimson. Her hair would be long thick and a wavy black silkiness. Her eyes dark, complexion smooth and smile seductive and finally she would say that word over and over again.

Another distant reflection involved him accompanying a couple of the neighborhood kids as they were walking along the Park down the street. They were smiling and enjoying one another’s company and the larger boy was chatting about a teenage girl who stabbed some guy in his stomach. Stephen listened intensely desiderating this kind of assault. Still some fifty years later he desired females penetrating him as he entertained the notion ofttimes yet isochronous in its disparity. He now and then whimsically realized his sick nature feeling different and alone from society even in his youthful development.

The middle of this brutal season as in the hibernal northern reaches, not to neglect the other half of the antipode, hemispherically speaking, that is, the nature of coldness means social entities spend the most of their doings within sheltered confines to avoid certain and the welts of this ubiquitous cold. Winter days illume more substance due to the reflecting property of the hoary snow and congealed ice integration. At least outside in the heat of summer one can comfort oneself beneath an obfuscation of a residence, a tree or parasol. Stephen ruminated upon these discreet facts of the sempiternal in mind and spirit and as an introspective glance within his psychic depth and utter tangibility as the corporeal effects of matterless being.

Playing outside, the boys formed some snowballs, snow mixed with ice and tossed them at the windows of their artificially bricked house as a few of these hardened ice crystals bounced off of large and long icicles that seemed like bars of glass formed from snow melting and then freezing as they tapered off and down. These crystals form a variety of, variation of shapes and sizes; some are conjoined and sometimes they come in a pack of many of them like the internal item, matches conjoined in a book of them at their base.

Along with ice and snow prevalent the three scions produced a few massive snowballs in variable size with the largest, medium and smaller one placed on top of the others; a snowman. Stephen put two marbles on the face of the top ice ball for eyes; a pencil for a nose; and a banana peel for a mouth. Some of the neighborhood kids, both Zedick girls and a young girl two houses up the street, admired the icy contrivance and afterwards played tag with the object as home base. Some days later the weather ameliorated with some warm stillness. The objective was to deliquesce much unto the melting Wicked Witch in Stephen’s mindset in the giddy children’s motion picture, The Wizard of Oz. This, at about five years of age, he was to watch with his brother and sister.

But due to developments, the in situ and environment, he wasn’t taught the rudiments of how an individual conducts himself, but this issue of sorts was not entirely true. This made him resist social settings, in public, in private and in maintaining posterity. This would reveal itself/ catch up to him later in life as he compromised his family, his home life and himself. But for now, he did the best he could.

On his fifth birthday he celebrated with his family with cake and the usual ice cream. He was now developed enough to comprehend sexuality in terms of gender differences and the discernment of items of these differences, like long hair, build and sex organs. Now almost spring the weather was warmer, less bitter and the growth of vegetation was well on the way. Soon the usual trees, bushes, flowers, grasses and other plants were in full bloom.

Soon Stephen was engaging in intrepid acts like climbing the tree to get to the tree house or a fence and putting himself in the yards and garages of the neighbors’ plots of land. The brothers, currently five and three and a half started bartering for items such as battery powered toys and silver dimes and quarters as they were impressed with showy, fascinating and novelty objects.

Now in space and time in light of that car that encroached on the property of their Syracuse home, a young girl tried to cut through the fenced yard when she stepped on a block of wood with a nail in it that perforated her shoe with the process puncturing her foot. His father when apprised of this happenstance and unfortunate scenario, carried her to his car and drove her home where she could be looked after. This girl’s parents did contact his father to thank him for his much-needed help and good will that he so altruistically provided.

Stephen was to start bleeding from the nasus and quite often. All the minor episodes of his having an epistaxis was jumping off a fence or wrestling with one of the neighborhood kids/ruffians. One instance of this bloody outpouring lasted a good hour as he lay on his back pinching his nose to stop the flow of blood as he occupied the Zedick’s back yard. His mom frequently spent afternoons with Joyce bringing a cup of coffee down the street without spilling a drop. He still had a secret attraction to Diane although he never broadcasted his amorous proclivities. One morning when he was sitting at the front porch door down and across the street, he saw Diane’s feet and immediately got excited. He, for many years, would fawn upon women’s feet, but why? He just had to have them on his chest. The more he looked at them the more he wanted them. After seven years of perpended concupiscence he knew he would have many girls touch him with their sexy pods.

He was thinking fast about his design to have her do the selfsame favors. He would have this just about everywhere he would inhabit a spot in lieu of just one girl doing this. All he had to do was solicit a female utilizing his intelligence. Yet, how to get Diane?

That afternoon he waited at the foot of the yard ‘til she came outside. As it was early in the morning, he deliberated his plan to cozen up to her yet be brilliant. He would approach her and then have her help him with ‘something.’ Finally, when she appeared, he drew near and articulated, Hi! I’m waiting here to see you. Can you do me a big favor, he then inquired. Drawing near to her he continued, I need someone to help me with my tummy ache. Would you stand on my tummy to help me?"

Are you sick? she inquired.

Yes, would you help me?

He approached her taking off his sweatshirt, Will you take off your shoes? he pleaded in a troubled manner.

He laid down on the grass. She slipped off her shoes showing her tiny bare feet. Stephen was looking at them feeling weak with desire. He held up his hands in a manner of having her stand on him as they interlocked their fingers. Now he was excited as his chest started to pound. She undertook to lift one leg and then balanced her legs pressing her pretty feet on his mid abdomen. His h...t was pounding as he felt so satisfied. She lifted one leg and then the other as she walked on his ribs, stomach and pecs. Presently, he formulated as he started breathing hard, " That feels good. don’t stop, ‘as his breath inhaled and exhaled simultaneously.

She then stood still on top of him saying, Do you feel better? Tell me when I’m too heavy for you. Your chest feels hard. Are you o’kay?

Yes, I’m fine. Please don’t stop.

I can feel your h...t beating in your chest. Do you feel better?

Yes, Diane, much better.

"how is your tummy?

"Very good.’

She proceeded to place one leg on the ground while rubbing the other foot on his chest. He got hard and desired to penetrate her but decided not to due to their age and her innocence. Now, jusy walk on me.

Don’t worry I won’t fall. Am I too heavy? If I am just tell me.

‘I feel good."

He continued breathing hard as he felt her feet penetrating his h...t and lifted his eyes and then closed them. She then put her foot on his organ and he felt a surge of pleasure as he climaxed and then felt a release of excitement but he didn’t ejaculate due to his youthfulness.

He looked up at her pretty face thinking that she was a goddess incarnate. ‘What a pretty girl to do this for me.’ He wanted to give her the world as he felt that much joy. She did this just right, ‘Does she want me?’ he considered vaguely. ‘What did she want? What is she after? Happiness, comradeship? Maybe.’

Afterwards, she was to mention, I could feel something inside of you. It was your h...t but your innards were softer.

Yes, my tummy is fine now.

Let me know if you need any more of my help. He got up and gave her some of his allowance money, a fifty-cent piece. There you go. you can have that. I want you to.

They said goodbye and then he thought, fantasized about her fashioning a gun and shooting him six times. He could see her placing some silver bullets in the chamber and then lifting the gun with s smile saying, I’m gonna shoot you in the h...t. Trust me?

He pictured himself bleeding a river of blood as ten Dianes were touching him rubbing his blood all over his body as this rumination made him so gratified he got hard again. These ten Dianes were to say, We want your h...t. We won’t stop until we have it for ourselves.

They were to repeat this over and over again forever. But now he got exactly what he wanted and was satiated. After all isn’t that the design of life, to get what you want? That night he slept in a blissful and satisfied state. All night long he dreamt of this dirty little rosy cheeked hoyden. He was set for life.

He would need nothing now but immarcessible memory and eternal submission to her overtly and puissant enduring dominion. Could heaven be any better? Could a thousand of her convert to a million, a million to a billion, an infinite progression of his entire corporeal being? Could the events that proceeded that morning confer this maiden’s incredible pulchritude an everlasting infinite? Could this incredible lumen and unfathomable joy, the eternal joy beyond any overt recognition, the limitless perfectness, the joyous beauty, the highest heaven, the greatest glory confer this eternal anamnesis? She would brandish that object and pointing it at his h...t say, I’m gonna shoot you in your h...t forever.

At close range she would fire each silver bullet at his chest as blood would squirt from his breast until a river formed and then an endless ocean. Shooting him forever a galaxy formed and then the everlasting universe. His h...t would expand and each round would burst it penetrating him forever. As his blood filtered through an eternal abyss the endless excitement would reach an enduring crux as her feet soaked in this infinite ambrosia would excite him eternally. His submission to her bountiful killing him would endure and incredibly climax in her lust for this limitless desire. He felt good for weeks.

As April rolled into temporal space another family graced the community with their presence. An older woman and her daughter Cathy moved into the until that time the empty house just five doors down from the Clements’ residence. This fourteen-year-old girl had a bike and would give some of the neighborhood kids rides just for fun. That summer he acquired his own bike and would peddle up and down the empty street as he soon learned how to pull wheelies that did impress some of the community’s youth. Stephen liked Cathy’s body and especially her wide feet as she would walk barefoot in her finely mowed front yard. He wanted her to touch his chest with them but that was for another day and design.

Sometimes both boys would deride her mother as she walked to the front porch and with her spread out feet clapped her hands and commanded her daughter to come inside for dinner. How could such a pretty girl have such an inadequate mother?

This year he would attend kindergarten, but for now he was learning the rudiments of the alphabet. He considered himself precocious learning readily and was to apprehend that his parents, notwithstanding his lettered father, now teaching at a local university, was brilliant. He was never to look at him due to his commanding dominance and came to appreciate parental and progenied responsibilities along with the inherent joy that existence breeds in its concinnity of disparate elements. His father, stressed by the austere nature of life one afternoon proffered the pejorative epithet, he’s sick. As he said this, he whispered the letters of this word softly. Stephen was entirely aware the meaning and the demeaning denotation of this pronouncement. He knew this, however, as he felt different from other kids his age. This was in epitomized form the essence of his life. Albeit, he never cried except when a beautiful girl and friend of his sister’s was killed in an automobile accident.

Stephen’s sister was to cause him undue harm in the category of manipulativeness. Her abuse, humiliation and embarrassment costed him the sanctity and security of home life. She stole his school project, had the prettiest girl in town slap his face hard and humiliated him in front of his peers. She concocted lies, unsound rumors and made him damage property with just her whim. She was the diabolical element in his life and would spend a lifetime doing him and quite a few others harm. These brutal events did much to precipitate a series of hurting his brothers and mom and his abandonment from his nuclear family. He would spend some four years at an institution for wayward children although he was not a brutish individual, a victim if you will.

His mom was to purchase some 33s, Simon and Garfunkel and Steppenwolf and he listened intently to the Beatles and Rolling Stones, Sonny and Cher and the Beach Boys as he would rock back and forth on his family’s sofa. His brother would join him in like as the sibling who followed his exploits, especially at home.

Spring soon turned to summer as the month April with its dampness and wind preceded May, balmy and nurturing of plant and animal. He was to get involved with arts and crafts at summer school at the community chest where he pressed copper sheets and produced stringy potholders. All he and his sister had to do was wake up, do chores like sweeping the dining room floor and vacuuming the large living room and cleaning the bathrooms.

Soon another family was to move in down the street. This young couple had a daughter of four who was sprightly and precious. In order to make waves her materfamilias provided all of the neighborhood kids with pastel blue candies and all were welcome to play with the daughter of this Park Avenuelike couple Soon this youth fit in like a piece of a jigsaw puzzle and Margaret was quite friendly with her and the two would play in her yard and hang out with some other youth in the area.

Stephen’s family invested in a pool table and the four, five and six-year old kids practiced and soon were to play well with many others of the neighborhood. They played eight ball, nine ball and straight pool and Art played some of the faculty from Harpur College. Soon enough the entire family were to place combination, bank and shots utilizing the bridge. On the paneling was the rack with all the various cue sticks and small cubes of chalk. The family did socialize with one of the English professors, one Zack Bowen who was quite large at three hundred and ninety pounds, and his older son played along with Art and Stephen playing teams and for some money to make these games a bit more interesting. Zack’s son Will was a good match for Stephen and the two would play for hours it seemed. Margaret would watch along with Michael and add to the atmosphere and quality of the contests.

The Clements family didn’t vacation that year as Art was campaigning for a steady position as associate professor and was consigned some tenure as an award-winning professor soon to be considered for the presidency of the gargantuan university. The family would soon purchase a new car, a station wagon that they would get around in and the following year they were to drive to the Jersey coast to spend another summer vacation at Barnegat Light, an ocean resort at a cottage to have a good time swimming in the Atlantic and deep sea fishing with Zack and his family.

Sometimes he was to rise early and watch his father drive away to work. He pictured him turning on route twenty six and disappearing behind a home on the corner and then reappearing as he drove on and up the highway. With little to do he spent mornings walking to the elementary school and walking to the edge of the field just down the level ground floor of the school. Many years later, about thirty altogether, he drove his car to the township and came to precisely the same spot to peer at the outdoor chapel in the selfsame woods as the school was converted to a pastoral church in the woods. In a few weeks he would be walking daily to this school to engage in kindergarten and weighed the contingency of the remaining days of summer hoping they would pass slowly. But for now, he was thinking about joining his sister in lessons at the club to take dancing lessons as he somehow knew he was able enough to excel at just about anything he pursued. But after one lesson he decided to stop as ballet dancing was something unmanly, as he was to perpend.

The summer was memorable for him as he ate ice cream from the corner store and drank sodas and devoured Charm pops. He habitually frequented the ponds proximal to the chest and dug the earth to access some clay that was underneath the immediate ground. One of the kids up the street and he were to collect frogs and put them in an aquarium that he got from one of the neighbors. the two were to play in the back yard of his home, wrestle and play softball one on one. Sometimes he would visit with Diane playing with her and her trucks in her back yard and get dirty in the process. He did also play hopscotch with the Zedick girls.

Now, the middle of July he one day climbed the high tree next to the garage to sit on the roof for a while and soon discovered he was stuck there as it was too remote from the limb he climbed to that perch. His father was outside mowing the lawn as he yelled above the noise of the mower and his old man rescued him with a ladder that he had borrowed from the garage itself. Now on the ground he tried to gather his sensibilities and thought twice next time about climbing a precarious limb to satisfy any urge to explore. Stephen was to practice shimmering up the telephone poles, however, and the other narrow trees in the yard as he got pretty good and he and Michael plotted out an obstacle course and were to time themselves utilizing Mike’s stopwatch that he got for his birthday. The two were quite athletic and at times they were to lose their balance and fall although that did not discourage them in the least.

Around the block (although not really a block due to there being no sidewalks) there lived another professor of the selfsame university along with his somewhat large family. These boys and older girls were at the youngest eleven and in lieu of playing with Margaret they associated with some of the teens in town and at a later time. they also were to walk around barefoot and assume some authority status as they were, it seems, somewhat better and smarter looking people. As he was to play some pickup baseball one of them did say, you’re good Clements. He was to tell his dad that and Art was proud that his son was somewhat athletic. He had a good arm and could hit a baseball kind of far as he was strong like his father and well-coordinated.

Stephen did like all of the pretty females that walked around barefoot and in pairs as they knew they had looks and youth on their side. Down at the creek they would walk through the water as if it was nothing and on the rocks as if they were wearing boots. I guess they were used to this object of inurement. He liked especially their even toes, and some were to wear toenail polish as they could attract just about any guy they wanted, and Stephen was attracted to them to say the least.

One evening, his parents solicited the help of a pretty girl who lived down by the chest who presented herself and was to drive their new car to the opera, not far from their ubiety in suburbia. Her name was Karen and she was seventeen, dark-haired and dark skinned and who lived with her cousins whose reputations were good unlike the two brothers who did some local damage and were held responsible. But that for later.

Anyway, he liked her medium -sized feet as she was to walk on the Clements’ carpeted living room floor. When she was out of the room, he laid down on where she did press down in her bare feet. He really wished that she would walk on him as he did to most of the pretty girls in town. He would be quite an avid onanist all the way past this chef d’ouvre he would write as an altibrontophoscophornio (altibrontofoscofornio) at an institution of his choosing, a halfway house in greater Los Angeles. He at five already knew he would be a good writer at fifty-five.

Margaret, a year older than the advent of starting her elementary education, had designs on one of the family’s eight-year-old neighbor who also lived up the street. His name was Mitchel. She presented to her younger brother to do some bidding to bring the two together as two youthful amoretti. Stephen acted on this undertaking to sell upon the prospect of having this youth be attracted to his ‘attractive and alluring sister.’ Anyway, she offered him one of her silver dollars to enable these youth to join in a state of communion. He told him that she is cute, funny and nice. Moments later he mentioned, she would like to get to know you and spend some time doing this. It worked. The two hit it off. Stephen would do a lot of bidding for his sister and protect her when he could from any contingent harm or as best that he could. He was her youthful guardian.

Stephen soon came to appreciate courtly designs; how a female would behave in the fashion of liking/ having a crush on a boy. According to this facet of gendered intercourse a girl might subtly approach a boy indirectly; push away and then return to just acquire an impression-whether he thought she was cute and/or worth his desideration of meeting her halfway. He noticed how after flirting with a girl he might turn aside, turn to face him, and then push him away, waiting to do this and then waiting for another encounter. ‘Females sure can wait,’ he gleaned from his anamnestic observations, but how else can one learn the necessities of life? He entertaining the wisdom that remains intact.

At eighteen and at a university back east he tried to know some dozen women. Getting high he would approach these pretty females, proffered a funny comment, I was outside walking like this here, to get the circulation throughout here, as he pointed his thumb at his upper chest and drew it across from one shoulder to the other. Most of these intelligent girls laughed, but mostly to come across as being social. They were. He wanted them to feel good as he was unto himself. And walk all over him for days. Their feet are sexy and cute. I want them to go through me. And feel great as twenty walk on top of me.

He was funny as he would thumb himself over his shoulders and say Wooh like the Fonz on the hit show, Happy Days. He drew laughs. They were laughing at him, he found too late. Ignorance is bliss. How true! And drinking water makes you piss. He would get high and with a flourish say for example, If you push me, I’ll give you money.

He remembered at this point that he had a five-dollar bill and a new leather wallet to place it into. He would have better appreciated singles. They are easier to exchange for goods.

Early September meant that he was to start school as a kindergartener. That morning his mother roused him at seven o’clock, he got himself a shower now that he was an older child and he dressed himself in clean new clothes. His sister escorted him to Vestal Center Elementary School and asked a school employee where his class was to take place. He was sitting in the front row of this medium sized classroom with its thirty students as most of them males had medium length hair. They seemed happy to be there as he was to recall their smiling as they conversed with one another.

Stephen noticed that he was a little taller than most of these kids They really were boisterous, active and laughed in a legitimate manner. He would wonder how they could just be themselves.

The teacher, Miss Gunther, had the youth say their name as they went around the classroom. She, as she took notice of him, considered him a special child as he was sullen and looked a bit awkward. Hi, Stephen, I was your sister’s teacher last year. You two look similar. As she said this, she nodded her head in complaisance and deference. And then addressing the rest of the class she said, Here is a sheet of paper, write your name down and also the number I give you so that I can give you the proper seat to sit in during class. Write the alphabet as you know it and raise your hand when you are done doing so."

Stephen produced the entire alphabet in no time and raised his hand confidently. Six minutes later he handed along with it the others to make a pile of completed papers on her desk. Afterwards she talked about being a teacher for so many years and the system from K to 6. " I’ve been teaching mostly kindergarten for almost forty years. You will work that many years and then retire. Retirement is sixty-two years of age these days. most of your lives is work. you will be teachers, corporate workers, social workers and counselors. You will have families, homes, cars and cottages on the lake. You will vacation in the Bahamas, Europe and Israel. We live in a powerful country, but Russia is also powerful. China is the most powerful country. You will learn algebra, foreign languages, chemistry, biology and English literature. You will play baseball, football, run track and field and play soccer. You will watch the news, sit-coms, movies and educational programs on television. You will go to the park, move away from home and change jobs. You will grow older, go through adolescence, get married and have your own children. You will vote, run for office, be involved in the community and drive cars. You will have friends, live in the city, have neighbors and have parties with fellow employees. You will watch your kids get older, eat good food and learn a lifetime of lessons. You will read, write and publish works. You will cut your hair, trim your nails and lose weight. you will exercise, jog and lift weights. You will go to clubs, play bridge and visit friends. You will receive good grades, study many courses and graduate from high school and college. You will listen, see and detect smells. You will grow, reach maturity and retire. You will love, find happiness and obey and respect the rules of society. You will die and go to heaven.

This daily three and-a-half hour class was let out early today and most of the kids were to be escorted home by one or two of their parents. Stephen waited to be brought home by his mom. The next day he would have to do it all over again and in good time he got used to this daily affair. His mom would tell him, You only have to go to school for three hours. And he would rejoin, Longer than that. Art was also proud of him as he uttered, soon you’ll be in college.

During this matutinal undertaking he would, along with the other school children, bring a pillow so that they could use it to rest their heads on at naptime. Stephen used a pillow in the shape of a fat red chicken and during these rest periods he would rock back and forth. When at home in the afternoons, his mom, Irma, would pick him up from school, and Margaret would walk home in the afternoon from her first-grade class. He would usually listen to the radio and also rock back and forth as well. Michael was currently attending nursery school and was the most precocious of the nursery school set. His nursery school class met at the Chest and Stephen would accompany him home after they both were to get out of their classes. Soon these two sidekicks were to get into trouble as they were both brave and prodigal, in academia and their physical exploits.

Some of the routine doings in this elementary class included: finger painting, drawing and other artwork. There was some reading, however, it was quite simple. Stephen’s pieces were exemplary, and he was to impress his teacher who considered him the smartest kid in his class. He would take some of these projects home and cherish them. One day Margaret pilfered some of his better work which made him quite upset as she destroyed them. He was quite beside himself and was crying as he really cherished this masterwork of his. Not only did she have her friend slap his face he would be adversely compromised by this diabolical sister of his. She was smart but pernicious. He was to only realize her intentions when he was in his later thirties and see all the harm she did to him, to his other brothers and her father as well.

He especially recalled how she got him so upset as he was to stomp through the house yelling and thrashing his arms about as he broke windows due to her manipulative designs. These diabolical whims of hers were to cost him his place in the family as he was to be sent to a youth home but this was mostly due to the sixth grade class beating him up as he was to get into too many fights after school. But that was because he was predisposed by her campaigns to ruin his social aplomb. Her sinister designs were to culminate in an expression of she damning him and these murderous instincts of hers did more than enough to damn him in his troubled youth. He would see how evil she really was as she desired to want her and his father to die soon enough to cash in on an inheritance. Yet he was to see her for what she was in a look back: a frequent look back.

Every night now he would rock back and forth listening to the radio and thinking about some of his female classmates and especially their feet that he so much wished he could contain. He would often watch them change from their boots to their shoes and then vice versa at the end of the class day. For him this was the best part of winter and he grew to appreciate this the hibernal clime. Every day he would look at different females as he liked the bottom of their and straight and beautiful toes. He recalled two females in class who had their toenails painted and wondered at the reasons girls would do that. Was it because they needed a leverage of some sort to maintain an advantage or was it because they wanted to attract males?

Years later in a distant state on the west coast he would frequent the beach just to look and satisfy the urge to see these sexy feet wishing how he’d like them to touch him and he couldn’t shake this impulse. It would be years later when they would react to this voyeuristic design of his. He would achieve quite a copious thrill to remember all the girls who he desired to have them penetrate him and rub his cage with their precious soles. How ‘bout an entire harem of women to fulfill these impulses.

However now, the month of October, he interacts with Diane as they came to get to know one another. He had her touch him as she knew that it would gratify his desiderations when it came to