Greetings from the Other Side: A Story of Love, Loss, and the Afterlife

By Benita Glickman

“...I didn’t believe in love at first sight, but the inexplicable seemed to have happened. I had been struck by a thunderbolt. I knew at that moment that our love was ordained. Joseph and I were destined to meet that day, destined to be together, and destined to remain together for a lifetime.”

In Greetings from the Other Side, author Benita Glickman describes her special bond with Joseph Larizza, the harmony they experienced, and the unconditional acceptance and support they provided one another. “It was an all-encompassing love that nourished my being, my heart and my soul.”

Ms. Glickman delicately relates her story about caregiving, and suffering through hardships inherent in the process. She details the grief and pain she experienced after her beloved Joseph’s passing, and her attempts to make sense of it all, and to cope.

Ms. Glickman’s debut memoir ultimately chronicles her spiritual awakening, thus providing hope to those who have lost a love one. It affirms the possibility of life after death through visions, telepathic communications, dreams, and signs of remembrance.

Sprinkled with original poetry and drizzled with occasional word play, Greetings from the Other Side will make you smile, cry, open your heart, look at things differently, heal, and grow.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press
• Release date: Jul 13, 2020
• ISBN: 9781982233884

Benita Glickman

Benita Glickman, a retired language teacher, mentor, and consultant to Brown University is an award-winning poet, short story writer, and grief and spiritual memoirist. Her memoirs Greetings from the Other Side: A Story of Love, Loss, and the Afterlife; Then and Now: Snapshots of My Life; Living Between Two Worlds; On a Path to Spiritual Enlightenment; Spirits Walk Among Us; For the Love of Joseph; and It’s a Sign! are affirmations of love through loss, grief, growth, and healing.

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Copyright © 2020 Benita Glickman

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of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use

of any technique as a form of treatment for physical, emotional, or medical

problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The

intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help

you in your quest for emotional and spiritual well-being. In the event you use

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right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are

models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 978-1-9822-3389-1 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-3387-7 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-3388-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2020902716

Balboa Press rev. date:  07/14/2020

In memory of Joseph Anthony Larizza—

my mentor, my best friend, the love of my life.

It is with nostalgia that I look back at our life together.

It comforts me to know that he is well

and happy on the Other Side.

Contents

Acknowledgments

Preface

Introduction

PART I

OUR MEDITERRANEAN ADVENTURE

Chapter 1     Home At Last

Chapter 2     In Barcelona

Chapter 3     On The Amalfi Coast

Chapter 4     In Rome

Chapter 5     In Florence

Chapter 6     On The French Riviera

Chapter 7     Leaving Barcelona

PART II

THE BEGINNING

Chapter 8     How We Met

Chapter 9     Getting Acquainted

Chapter 10   My Bubbe

Chapter 11   My Puppy

Chapter 12   Life Isn’t All Sunshine And Rainbows

Chapter 13   The Merger

Chapter 14   Joseph’s Dad

Chapter 15   Life’s Pleasures

Chapter 16   Our Savior

Chapter 17   Misfortunes Befall Us

Chapter 18   Family Changes

Chapter 19   Bambina’s Passing

Chapter 20   It Doesn’t Get Any Better Than This

Chapter 21   Illness Strikes

Chapter 22   There’s A Poet In Each Of Us

PART III

THE BEGINNING OF THE END

Chapter 23   Falls, Falls, And More Falls

Chapter 24   The Move

Chapter 25   Understanding Health Care

Chapter 26   Joseph’s Condition Declines

Chapter 27   The Home Health Care Aides

Chapter 28   The Hospice And Palliative Care Program Offers Assistance

Chapter 29   Valentine’s Day

Chapter 30   Impaired Memory

Chapter 31   More Changes

PART IV

THE END

Chapter 32   The Hospice Care Returns

Chapter 33   Things Get Worse

Chapter 34   The Armed Forces Step In To Help

Chapter 35   Joseph’s Passing

PART V

NEW BEGINNINGS

Chapter 36   Reaching Out

Chapter 37   Dreams And Visions

Chapter 38   Signs

Chapter 39   Reflections On God, Religion, The Afterlife, And Spirituality

Epilogue

Acknowledgments

Writing this book took me on a long arduous journey. Thoughtfully reflecting back on my life with honesty, acceptance, and the readiness to share my story required a great deal of courage I’m not sure I would have had, had it not been for a select group of wonderful people who encouraged and supported me in what ultimately became a self-validating and rewarding experience.

My sincere appreciation goes to:

• God, my spirit guides, my angels, and all the forces of the universe for bringing Joseph and me together and for accompanying me on a writing journey.

• The late Joseph Larizza for his kindness, compassion, and unconditional acceptance throughout a bittersweet and turbulent thirty-eight years. It was alongside him that I grew into adulthood.

There were times while writing the manuscript that I’d wake in the morning to find parts of it gone or repositioned to other chapters. I can only believe that not only was Joseph’s presence with me throughout the writing of this book but that he coauthored it as well.

• My late parents, Mark and Esther Glickman, who believed I was gifted and always supported my endeavors.

• My late sister, Myra Josephberg, who loved writing, for extending emotional support and for making herself available as a sister, a social worker, and a friend from the time of Joseph’s passing and through her own struggles until her death in September 2019.

• My writing coach, Tanja Pajevic, for her repeated encouragement and for reviewing my manuscript.

• My former colleague and longtime friend, Marla Toscano, for her guidance, exuberance, and editing skills.

• Joseph’s former occupational therapist and my good friend and travel companion, Cecile Hall, for countless hours of listening to me talk about my work and offering thoughts and suggestions.

• Cecile’s sister, Andrea Hall, for watching over me on our Mediterranean adventure and for sharing her knowledge of computers.

• My friend and photographer, Gerald Josephberg, for sharing his knowledge of cameras and taking photos of me.

• All my friends, acquaintances, and neighbors for encouraging me to continue writing and for wishing me success.

The literary world was a large part of my life, and by extension a large part of Joseph’s life, between the years of 2002 and 2004. I remember fondly all the lovely and uplifting correspondence that I received from editors, publishers, poets, and poet laureates around the world.

With courtesy, my sincere gratitude and heartfelt respect go to the editors and publishers who accepted and published my poetry in the following literary publications:

• Amaze: The Cinquain Journal

• the Aurorean: a poetic quarterly

• bear creek haiku

• Blackwidow’s Web of Poetry

• Brevities: a Mini-Mag of Minimalist Poems

• Cotyledon

• Meridian Anthology of Contemporary Poetry

• Nanny Fanny

• Parnassus Literary Journal

• The Pegasus Review

As Joseph has passed, on his behalf, I’d like to express sincere gratitude and heartfelt respect to the editor and publisher of the Aurorean: a poetic quarterly who accepted and published his poetry.

Preface

The past fourteen years have been extremely difficult for me. I was my ailing partner’s primary caregiver. While providing the best possible care, I watched the progression of his illnesses and saw his health decline. I felt his impending death. The stress caused me mental anguish and physical weakness. Last year, I lost my Joseph, the person nearest and dearest to my heart. My life was shattered and would become dramatically altered. There are no adequate words that can describe the grief I felt. I was numb, despondent, and empty. Then I began to have visions, dreams, and signs from my beloved—from the Other Side. Communication with Joseph consoled me and helped to ease my pain.

I’m writing this book for three reasons. Firstly, writing is good for the soul. By putting my experiences on paper, I am reliving them. I am giving them voice, my voice. This will aid in my recollection, understanding, and accepting of the events as they unfolded. By including my thoughts, feelings, and beliefs, I am validating myself and renewing my soul. Thus, writing this book will serve as a cathartic experience for me. It will enable me to face my realities and look toward the challenges ahead. It will serve as a means of opening my heart as I attempt to begin a new journey.

Secondly, I believe that my story needs to be told. Most people have gone through, are going through, or will go through similar experiences in life. They will become caregivers, experience losses, confront fears, try to make sense of death and dying, and question whether they will see or hear from their loved one again. They will contemplate the existence of an afterlife and reincarnation. Sharing my experiences may help them to examine their struggles, find their truths, and revise their own beliefs.

Finally, I am writing this book as a tribute to Joseph, my significant other—to remember, honor, and celebrate his life here on Earth. When Joseph was twelve years old, his father, Rosario, a construction worker, fell off a scaffold and died. This was a devastating, life-changing event for a little boy to have to endure. I remember him telling me how difficult it was for him to come to terms with his dad’s death. Here was a man, a good and kind man, with such a full life ahead and a family that depended on him. And as Joseph so often pointed out, all that remained after his death was an old toolbox full of tools and a Mass card. Joseph’s mom, Mary, kept the Mass card on a bureau. Joseph stared at it daily for many years to come.

Joseph was highly intelligent, the smartest person I ever knew. He was an avid reader. He read newspapers, magazines, and works of nonfiction in multiple languages. He believed reading was knowledge, and knowledge was invaluable to living the best possible life.

The late Sylvia Browne, in her book Temples on the Other Side stated that she believed there was a temple of learning on the Other Side and that it housed every book ever written on Earth.¹

If there is such a temple on the Other Side, I hope Joseph will read this book, remember me, and smile.

Introduction

After Joseph’s passing, I was filled with sadness, grief, and despair. I was so depressed that I didn’t want to get out of bed, shower, or dress for the day. I couldn’t leave the house; I didn’t go anywhere. I sat in a rocking chair in Joseph’s bedroom, staring at his bed, remembering things he said and did, lamenting, and crying.

One day, my friend Grace called. I hadn’t spoken to her for some time, and because she lived in Maryland, she hadn’t heard about Joseph’s passing. Oh, Benita, she exclaimed, why didn’t you call me? I’m going through a separation as well. Her husband of forty years was divorcing her.

We spoke for a very long time and bonded to help each other get through the pain.

I had worked as a full-time teacher for thirty-five years. After I retired, I took care of Joseph at home for thirteen years. I went from one very stressful job to another. With Joseph’s passing, I had become anxious, depressed, despondent, and empty. There was nothing in my life.

Grace suggested we go on a cruise. I wasn’t ready to do that; I couldn’t even go to the corner drugstore, let alone take a cruise. But planning and keeping busy were key. So we began planning a future cruise to the Mediterranean.

Then the unthinkable happened. Joseph visited me in a vision. And I began to dream about him. I felt his presence. I smelled his warmth. I heard his voice in my head. I communicated with him telepathically. He left me signs. Joseph was with me. He was in my heart, and he was a part of me.

I started reading books about death, near-death experiences, the afterlife, and reincarnation. I learned about spirits, spirit guides, and angels. I hadn’t been a believer when Joseph passed. But seeing Joseph again, communicating with him, and the information the books provided gave me pause. I began to feel hopeful as I entertained the possibility of a spirit world and the immortality of the soul.

I am not a psychic, nor am I a medium, although I can read palms and tarot cards. And I know that experiences cause people to change their beliefs. When I was younger, I didn’t believe in love at first sight. When I met Joseph, my belief changed. Last year, I didn’t believe in life after death. After my recent experiences, I was impelled to question that belief. Now, not only do I believe in love at first sight, but I also believe in God, a spirit world, and an afterlife. Moreover, I believe spiritual forces brought Joseph and me together and kept us together for thirty-eight years.

Grace knew that I had written poetry and short stories in former years. She found my work interesting, insightful, and consoling. She said, Benita, you need to help people; you need to write a book. And thus, the seed for this book was planted.

Greetings from the Other Side is a love story told through poetry, vignettes, and prose. It celebrates the special bond between two people, the harmony they experienced, and the unconditional acceptance and support they provided one another. It depicts their joys, their sorrows, and their pain.

Greetings from the Other Side is a story about caregiving and suffering through hardships inherent in the process. It’s about the grief and pain that death inflicts upon the living and the struggles that the living face while attempting to survive and continue with their lives.

And finally, Greetings from the Other Side is a story of hope. It affirms the possibility of life after death through visions, telepathic communications, dreams, and signs of remembrance.

I have included my original poetry throughout the book in the hopes that you will pause, ponder, reflect on your life, and let your imagination roam freely. Some of the poems have been previously published in the smaller literary presses. Some have won contests and awards. I have written some especially for this book. I have also included one of Joseph’s poems for your enjoyment.

Greetings from the Other Side is intended for everyone to read, in every culture, and in every generation. It will promote questions, evoke feelings, encourage thoughts, provide possible answers, and change beliefs. It’s my hope that you, dear reader, will relate to my experiences and feel hope, strength, and the courage to heal and move forward.

Part I

OUR

MEDITERRANEAN

ADVENTURE

Part%201.jpg

Chapter 1

HOME AT LAST

a friendly squabble

turned unfriendly—

Joseph’s spirit intervenes

G race was sitting at my kitchen table, drinking a perfectly prepared caffè latte, her coffee of choice. We had just returned from our Mediterranean adventure, a trip we’d been planning for a year and half, since the time of my beloved Joseph’s death. On several occasions throughout our trip, Grace and I had disagreed vehemently and had heated discussions about whether a person should act in another person’s behalf without his or her knowledge, believing the outcome would be in that person’s best interest. She felt that, if you saw what you considered to be a problem, no matter what it was or whose problem it might have been, you fixed it. I thought you should communicate first. If I saw what might be construed as a problem and thought I could help, I’d talk to the person, propose my solution, and ask if he or she would like my assistance. For what good has a good deed actually achieved if the other person didn’t desire or welcome it?

For example, my feet had swelled up and hurt a bit after eleven days abroad, a very different diet, and so much sightseeing and walking. We had just arrived at the Madrid-Barajas International Airport on a three-hour layover, before boarding our plane home. I’ll admit I was walking a little more slowly than the other women. But let’s not forget that I was the oldest of the four, only a month shy of my sixty-seventh birthday. Still, I wasn’t complaining. Grace thought I might need a wheelchair, and instead of broaching the topic with me, she went to the courtesy desk and ordered one for me. Et voilà! (French for, as if by magic, it appeared.) I hated the confinement of the wheelchair and would have much preferred walking and shopping with the girls.

I understand your desire to help me, Grace, I stated, but I felt humiliated. You can’t take charge of everything.

But do you understand, Benita, that I acted out of love and friendship? Just as she completed her question, Grace’s body lurched forward. The coffee cup that she was holding by the handle propelled her arm across the table, lifting Grace plumb out of her seat. Oh my God! Grace exclaimed. Did you see that?

I did indeed, I responded. What on earth just happened?

I felt a presence behind me that gently pushed me forward, she said. It happened so quickly that I didn’t have time to let go of my cup. It was Joseph. I know it was him. I finally felt Joseph’s spirit.

I smiled inside, knowing that Joseph was always with me, watching over me, and protecting me. And I was certain that Joseph had been privy to some of the many disagreements Grace and I had had during the trip. Frankly, I thought he might be tired of hearing our unresolved differences. So I wasn’t surprised when he intervened. Joseph loved to talk. He welcomed good discussion and often functioned as a mediator in groups. One of his inherent traits was his ability to communicate and his communication skills were top notch. If he had a bone to pick with someone, he picked it eloquently until it was dry, leaving nothing left unsaid. Throughout the precious thirty-eight years we shared, Joseph and I communicated, at times passionately, with each other, even about the most delicate of issues, so that we clearly understood each other’s thoughts and points of view and could act together accordingly. Our love was selfless and complete.

Life without Joseph had become much more difficult. Communication with other people was different and could be quite laborious at times. Everyone speaks differently; everyone interprets what he or she hears differently. Clearly, everyone has a different thought process and his own set of communication skills.

Grace, I asked, why do you think Joseph nudged you?

I think he was probably telling me to listen to you, she said.

I think he was too, I said. But I think he was also telling you it’s not enough to listen to me. You have to try to understand my point of view and honor my feelings. I understand that you wanted to help, but do you understand that you caused me unnecessary humiliation?

I finally do, she said.

I was glad that Joseph had appeared to Grace to help us settle the matter. It made me feel warm and fuzzy inside knowing that he continued defending me after his death. With his help, Grace and I were able to come to a consensus and move on.

Chapter 2

IN BARCELONA

In Barcelona

across from a church,

being picked—

someone else’s story

G race and I had known each other for almost twenty years. We were both retired teachers who taught in the same school. Although we hadn’t seen one another in about eight years, we kept in touch. Initially, it was Grace who proposed that we take a cruise, but soon I had invited Cecile, Joseph’s former occupational therapist, who had become my good friend in the past seven years. She then invited her sister Marie. Grace and Cecile didn’t know one another, and Grace and Marie had only met once before the trip. Marie and I had video chatted over the past year, but we hadn’t met in person. Even though we weren’t all well acquainted, what we knew about each other was that we were all spiritual, somewhat psychic gals. So it came as no surprise to any one of us when we began to have spiritual experiences on our Mediterranean adventure.

On our first night in Barcelona, Marie said, I know we are all here together for a reason. I feel that we’re going to come to some very important understandings and grow spiritually on this trip. I hoped she was right.

I believed I was destined to be on this trip. I knew Joseph wanted me to see the Mediterranean and to experience much of what he had when he lived in Italy, studied in Perugia, and traveled extensively throughout Europe some sixty years earlier. I hoped and I prayed that his spirit would emerge and that he would be with me for much of the trip.

For the first three days abroad, we stayed in Barcelona in a bed-and-breakfast with a large living area, a kitchen and dining area, two bedrooms, and a small terrace. It seemed quite charming and comfortable. After settling in, we took the metro to La Sagrada Família, Antoni Gaudi’s unfinished Roman Catholic basilica, and arrived a little before the appointed hour on our prepaid tickets. With some time to kill, we gave into the allure of the outside vendors and sauntered across the street to shop a bit.

On the plane, the bus, and the metro, we were warned repeatedly, in Spanish and in English, about pickpockets and keeping our belongings close, but we never expected that we might fall prey. While looking at souvenirs, Cecile suddenly became aware of two people making their way toward her. The woman gently and skillfully tossed her scarf over Cecile’s cross-body handbag and started to unzip it as the man stepped in front of them blocking them from onlookers. Cecile pushed the woman’s hand off the zipper, held her bag tightly, and stared boldly into the woman’s face before stepping away. The couple surreptitiously moved on, looking for their next possible target.

I thought to myself, How odd! Of the four of us, Cecile would be the least likely person for anyone to mess with. First of all, at fifty-three, she’s the youngest in our group. And at five foot six, she’s the tallest. But most of all, Cecile is the most athletic and the strongest. Perhaps when targeting her, the would-be pickpockets had only focused on her apparent Jamaican traits of being both friendly and laid-back and had neglected to see that her aura also reflected a strong, centered, purposeful woman who was extremely aware of her surroundings.