Through the Eyes of Chaos

By Trenton Skipper

Through the Eyes of Chaos is a fictional story about Andre – nicknamed Chaos – a young man beginning his freshman year in college and out on his own for the first time. He experience the ups and downs of life as it comes at him: family, friends, love, violence, death, depression, hard times, child molestation, financial burdens, marriage, divorce, and a “rebirth” of life. Adding to all this, his best friend moves out of state, leaving Andre without anyone to talk to when he needs that listening ear. So Andre begins writing his thoughts, good and bad, in poetry form. Displaying the passion and a clear, mental visual of the different emotions he experiences.

Through the Eyes of Chaos will inspire understanding and pure empathy in readers, as many will be able to relate to Andre’s struggles and triumphs.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jun 30, 2020
• ISBN: 9781984581990

Trenton Skipper

Originally from Dayton Ohio, TRENTON SKIPPER is an author who enjoys writing about detailed events, stories and happenings as told by friends, family and strangers. “Being a great listener and having a creative mind makes for great storytelling and descriptive poetry that will keep anyone’s attention.”

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Copyright © 2020 by Trenton Skipper..

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, names, incidents, organizations, and dialogue in this novel are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. [Biblica]

Unless otherwise indicated, all scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version® (ESV®). Copyright ©2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 07/13/2020

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First and most important dedication is my mama

De Olivia Skipper

My world completely changed after you left, still trying

to find myself and still building myself back up.

I miss you, I love you

R.J.H.

For those that had a significant hand in my life:

DeOlivia Skipper. Theodore Skipper. Neyra Skipper. Lamont Skipper. Reon Skipper. Kinadi Skipper. Memaw & Papa. Dellena Ogletree, Carla Ogletree And Aunt Rat Ogletree. Danielle Hood. Celeste Johnson. Lesley D. Poet. Dana Yarbrough. Sophia Parker. April Robinson. Andrea Bridges. Amy Woodson. Anika. Dennis Allen.Steve Rose. Kay Sean. Sabrina Breezy Peterson. Rico Monwelle. Sheila Holley. Nytia Nikole. Cassandra Hendriques. Stacy Williams. Towanda. Yvette Clark. Shiva Larry. Cametria Monique Alexander. Charlayne Lateefa. Latisha Lashelle Thompson. Jacmel Gonzales. Summer Foreman. Gwen Smith. Alyce Smith. Angela Harris. Yolanda Denise Zellous. Ayanna Jones. Sharon Nyane. Shannon Johnson. Shannon Richardson. Shannon Willis. Alanka Wright. Andrea Atwater. Antavia Frazier. Antionette Barnett. Ashley Sessions. Bobby Hammonds. Earnest and Cheryl. Charlene Johnson. Chelles Walker. Demarcus Travis. Dachelle Garrison Davis. Danielle Edwards. Delante Quarterman sr. Donnie L Davis. Elisha Gordon. Emily James. Eric Moore. Eric Ward. Esquisite Kitty Cooper. Eva Hart. Glen Robinson. Gwen Dixon. Jeff Big Black Battles. Jamahl Miller. Jamila Denin. Jennifer Furtado. Joyce Patillo. Justin Reeves. Keir Franklin. Anthony Evans. Kennis Harrell. Kevin Zachery. Kimberly Morehead. Kristie Moore. Kristine Mitchell. LaChelle Champion. LaDonna Horne.Larry Appleberry. LaShanta Patterson. Lavonda Moss. Lisa Edwards. Marcella Phillips. Melissa January. Melissa McCrary. Michael Wood. Mocha Hotte. Moneice Lachelle Prentice. Monique Wright. Nikkicole Sanford. Myanna English. Ms. Kalibaby Nikki Lee Mitchell. Cherise Palmer. Pamela Williams Lockett. Pamela McKinney. Pronetha Omowole. Renee Hicks. Rosalind Matthews. Wan Mickens. Rose Berry. Shirley Xavier. Sonda Letrisha. Tai Nelson. Sylvia Hayes. Taj Thomas. Tara Dawn. Teya Lauray. Tory Boatwright. Tracee LaShawn. Trish Cherry. Valerie Ford. Vanessa Russell. Virginia Pittman. Yesenia Harris. Mary Givens. Tenesa. Noelle Santos. Cory Woods. Kathleen Sears.Lenora Gail. Ladonna Horne. Teresa Foster. Michelle Gill -Cole. Jonathan Sparks, Trell, Wanda Kay Smith and Tanishia Skipper. "Sorry I couldn’t fit everyone’s name on here, but I do appreciate you

Poems

Prologue : A New Beginning

Confusion

Our Bond

The Mind Vs The Heart

From 07’ to 09’

One Empty Bed— Two Empty Hearts

In This Dark Void

Suicidal Temptations

I Love my Mama, I Miss my Mama..

Contemplating Suicide

Mr. Malice

True Peace

What If

Move On!!

I Open my Eyes Up to Thee

Prologue

A New Beginning

No more depression, past heartbreaks and let downs

No more keeping hurtful feelings bottled up—not making sounds

No more sugar coating how you really feel

Whether good or bad, people need to know the real deal

Grieving from those that didn’t make it through last year

They will always be in the heart so stand up and wipe that last tear

It’s okay to reminisce on things of the past

Just know we go through negative things to make

us stronger and negative things don’t last

Set goals, stay consistent and do not be bothered by all the rest

Some people you let go, some you keep,

maybe a new circle....it’s all a test

If you want different results, you need a different state of mind

Don’t jump in a group just to follow others,

stay true to yourself and your grind

Don’t let others in too fast, pray for discernment in your heart

And those with false motives will be seen

in the light and out the dark

Speak what you want into existence and it shall be done

Trust God, keep a positive spirit and your battles will be won

Focus on your determinations and keep in

mind that with God, you are winning

You will be pleasantly surprised what the

next year will bring as far as...

A New Beginning

Andre: The Beginning

….How can a young man keep his way pure? By living

according to your word, I seek you with all my heart;

do not let me stray from your commands.PSALMS

119:9, 10 NIV

…1993, a shy young man, fresh out of high school, ready to begin manhood for the first time – on his own; heading to the next level of life, beginning on a college campus, nicknamed Chaos but to everyone else he is Andre.

Six foot one, one hundred and seventy pounds, light skinned with light brown eyes that changes to hazel at times with the seasons. A young black man excited because this is his first time out of his mama’s house abiding by his own rules; Curious, energetic, seventeen and thugged out. Living in the suburbs but hanging out in the projects. Once touched by the college life, he began drinking 40 ounces of Olde English 800 and dark bottles of Red Bull, blue and red labels of thunderbird and fifths of Gin and Grapefruit. He was infatuated with guns, gangsta Rapp and women. Quick tempered and down for whatever, One hundred and seventy pounds of human armor….The feeling of invincibility. Very protective of what he considered his: family, friends, girlfriends, his boys. Whenever something jumped off, instead of getting away, he would want to see what was going on. Andre was athletic, slightly paranoid, vengeful, sneaky and creative. Not bothered by going to drug houses or watching crack heads and heroin addicts do their thing. He was also borderline reckless, depending on who he’s with or what he got into.

His female preferences were hood chicks…ghetto girls, da realest of the real of sistas. He loved the sistas that were tattooed, had piercings, and the ones that could hold their liquor. One that smoked that Gas and knows how to dance. The one that makes her body move ever so smoothly like a snake but with the rhythm of a Jamaican beat. Booty you could sit an apple on, thick thighs, a sexy walk, long braided hair with brown and blonde highlights, hazel eyes and a pretty face. One who ain’t scared to handle a pistol as described in Notorious B.I.G’s song, Me and My Bitch. One that could hang with the guys, but always made it known who she was with and wasn’t afraid to check a nigga. A sexy siren that can adapt to her environment, take care of her man’s needs and keep her business to herself… ……………..Now that you’ve met Andre, so the story begins____

He loves to hang out late, play basketball, shoot pool and to get more affiliated with the curvaceous sistas walking back and forth to class. Only problem is Andre has no game, no lines and don’t know the first thing about being smooth with the ladies.

Once moved into his dorm, Andre talks with some of the guys and figures out that there is a party/mixer going on that night and a group of them are going to go over to check it out. When Andre and the guys arrive they don’t see a whole lot of partying.

Greg, the smallest of the bunch says, Where are all the women at?!

We probably came too early, the lights are still on! Big T said.

One of the people that put this together told them that it was to let upper and lower classmen mingle and welcome in the freshmen. Well, the whole six man crew began walking out – Greg, Shaun, Big T, Mo, Sax, and Andre. Back at the dorm everyone ended up venturing out on their own to see what is on the campus. Although Andre is a nice looking brotha, he is still nervous when approaching women.

As the year goes on the crew becomes close and hang out all the time. If they were not in Greg’s room, they were in Andre’s, Mo’s or Sax’s room. Big T had too much female company to let the guys hang out there.

Mid-way through the school year, Andre was more and more comfortable with the ladies. In fact, he had two thick chicks that stayed in the dorm next to his and was consistently competing for his attention.

Now Andre’s best friend was Sax. Sax played keyboard, guitar and of course, the saxophone. He covered for Andre a lot and would even answer Andre’s phone in the room for him. Andre and Sax were up and coming music producers and artists, so when Andre was deejaying and scratching, Sax would hold up the number of fingers representing which girl was calling – Debra was one finger, Stephanie was two, Krissy was three and so on… There were a total of thirteen girls in all on that list. It was a fun and easy way of keeping up with each one, especially since the list was taped next to the phone!

During the evening, after classes and after dinner, the crew always played basketball. Usually from five o’clock until eight o’clock or until everyone was dog tired. Greg was the point guard…..fast, quick and able to shake the drawls off any opponent! Andre always told him if he was six foot-one instead of four foot-eleven, he could make somebody’s college team. Sax was the dunker and low post man. At six-two and two hundred and eighty pounds he could rise up and two hand dunk on anybody! Big T was a low post man with no dunking skills. Mostly he liked to shoot three pointers, even though he stands six foot-three. Mo was about five foot-one and was Mr. Fast Break! That dude would run up and down the court, game after game, and never get tired, he and Big T were the shit talkers too. Shaun didn’t play basketball. He actually didn’t do anything athletic, but he was cool.

Andre was a combination of things - point guard, shooting guard, fast break and shake and bake! He wasn’t afraid to drive to the hole and was always hustling on the offensive or defensive side of the ball. He wasn’t a dunker, although between games when he tried, he may get two out of eight to go down. Basketball is what they did Monday through Thursday every week. There was an entourage of women on the sideline all the time and it wasn’t surprising that Andre would put some booty on hold until he finished playing.

Andre had two women from the list briefly discussed earlier that were crazy about him – Pam and Sidney. They were from the same part of Arizona that Andre was. Pam was pretty and thick. She had a donka-donk that you could not miss if you were two blocks away. Sidney was okay looking. She was a brainiac that had mentioned to Andre about taking care of him with her engineering degree. The thing was, Andre was not the type of man to want a woman taking care of him. Pam was very sexy and seductive and of course that was the one Andre went with. This is how they met…

Andre was working across the street at a local restaurant when he saw a short, thick sumptin’, sumptin’ walking up the opposite side of the street. Andre asked his manager if he could step out for a minute – of course his manager laughed because he saw her walking too. At this point, Andre is completely out of his shyness and has the confidence to walk up to almost any woman and speak his peace.

Andre and Pam hooked up and she ended up staying with him in his dorm room for three weeks straight, until he had to check her out and then back in again for another three weeks. Andre was beatin’ dem cakes at least three times a day and doing it well! Now during all this time, his boys were getting on him about being in love and cracking jokes. But Andre was an observant, keep business to himself, type of guy.

Even though Big T and Shaun bragged on how they screwed women and put them out of their rooms, Andre knew that if you treated a woman right, especially on a college campus, you will get free advertisement. You see, your girl will tell her girls how wonderful you are; how you don’t hound her for sex; can just go to sleep and cuddle through the night. She will go on and on about how good a kisser you are; how you open doors for her, leave her notes, carry her books and occasionally give her money. Not to mention, the multiple orgasms caused by sensual foreplay which requires patience; how to kiss those don’t hurt me spots; careful caressing and knowledge of the human body, and how to beat dem cakes! Once you’ve shown the gentleman and the thug in you (the art of making love), you won’t have to ever ask for sex because she will be wanting it too.

Andre had another friend named Lil’ Bit. Lil’ Bit was a small, petit little something that had a big heart. She and Andre were like best friends on campus and looked out for each other. Like the time, Lil’ Bit was in her dorm room sick as a dog, she called Andre to go to the store and bring her some flu medicine, food and some tea. This was not an unusual request except that Andre