A Mixture of Blessings: Collected Stories

By Keith Stonier

The funny and the sad …
The good and the bad …

This carefully-written book takes the reader on a journey through a range of unconventional stories, containing an archetypal mixture of life’s emotions, behaviours and outcomes.
The ten stories range from the very short to the long with characters who express themselves by means of a variety of mannerisms and inflected language (including some use of dialect).

Read and enjoy!

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse UK
• Release date: May 20, 2020
• ISBN: 9781728352565

Keith Stonier

Dr. Keith Stonier taught in UK schools for thirty-three years, including eighteen-and-a-half years as a head teacher. This was followed by twelve years in departments attached to Derby University with the honorary title, principal university lecturer. He continues to teach and work with students online. He has written twelve academic articles for journals and edited an adult readability book (for students with learning difficulties). His first published book, Inspirational Ideas (Authorhouse 2009, second edition), received critical praise in the journal Education Today, vol. sixty-one, no. four. He is a regular reviewer for the British Journal of Learning Disabilities.

Book preview

© 2020 Keith Stonier. All rights reserved.

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, names, incidents, organizations, and dialogue in this novel are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 05/19/2020

ISBN: 978-1-7283-5257-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-7283-5258-9 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-7283-5256-5 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

About the Author

Preface

Notes of Explanation

Statement and References

One Hundred Word Story: The Salesperson of the Year

Short Story: Rosie’s Outing

One Hundred Word Story: Change of Fortunes

Short Story: Last is Best

One Hundred Word Story: Nothing Ever Happens

Short Story: Getting it Right

One Hundred Word Story: Save Us!

Short Story: The Butcher’s Lad

Novelette: First Night of the Proms

Chapter 1.   Introduction

Chapter 2.   Anticipation

Chapter 3.   Delays and Expectations

Chapter 4.   Proof and Persuasion

Chapter 5.   Transition

Chapter 6.   Audition and Rehearsal

Chapter 7.   Performance

Chapter 8.   Aftermath

Chapter 9.   Conclusion

Short Story: The Disturbance

About the Author

Dr. Keith Stonier taught in UK schools for over thirty-three years, including eighteen-and-a-half years as a headteacher. This was followed by twelve years in departments attached to Derby University as a Principal University Lecturer. He has written many academic articles for journals, edited an ‘adult readability’ book for students with learning difficulties (not in publication currently) and is a reviewer for the British Journal of Learning Disabilities.

A Mixture of Blessings is his fifth book and consists of a collection of stories, long and short.

Preface

The ‘Curate’s egg’ refers to something with qualities of badness and goodness, without necessarily having a preponderance of one or the other. This exemplifies the central theme and content, but hopefully not the quality, of this book.

Heaven and hell, right and wrong, positive and negative, backwards and forwards; all of these can be construed as variants of what it means in life to be the recipient of ‘a mixture of blessings.’

The characters in these stories follow a variety of courses of action ranging from the emotional and compulsive to the deliberate and planned. One consequence of this is that there are occasions when their motives are mixed together indiscriminately and others when they are demarcated clearly, just as in life.

A sense of irony coupled with good humour will help readers to experience and enjoy these stories, all of which are fictional with the exception of one. The main substance of the story entitled, The Butcher’s Lad is true although many details have been added imaginatively and with sincere respect (e.g. additional, fictitious characters and place names) to support the flow of the text. Thus, it is an account of ‘how it might have happened’, although the final part is recorded well in Army records and is indisputable.

Notes of Explanation

1. In this Collection, the following convention has been adopted :-

Short Story 2,500 – 7,500 words

Novelette 7,500 – 17,000 words

[Using this convention, a Novella is an imaginative text of 17,000 – 40,000 words and a Novel one of more than 40,000 words.]

2. One hundred word stories have achieved popularity in recent times. Four are included in this Collection, just for fun!

ABBREVIATIONS

STATEMENT

With the exception of the main character of The Butcher’s Lad and some details connected with this story all place names, locations and people described in the text are fictitious.

No associations with existing places, locations, buildings, commercial firms or enterprises are inferred. No connection is implied with any known persons, living or dead.

REFERENCES

(1) War Office Citation, the London Gazette 23rdNovember 1944

- for the story entitled, The Butcher’s Lad.

(2) This wondrous love enfolds the world (etc.). These words were selected from the Hymn:

Awake, Awake, O heart of mine (1887)

[Written by Fanny Crosby (1820 – 1915)]

[Music by John R, Sweney (1837 – 1899)]

- for the story entitled, The Disturbance.

One Hundred Word Story

THE SALESPERSON OF THE YEAR

The Salesperson of the Year

Representatives were at the Royal Ambassador Hotel after the Salesperson of the Year competition, judged on financial year income.

The outright winner sat in the hotel lounge enjoying coffee, but was accosted by an aggressive, drunken, resentful sales representative.

So, you’re the best, national salesperson! You couldn’t sell me anything!

The winner sighed, picked up his coffee and replied, I couldn’t even sell this plastic cup to a wise man like you. He examined the cup. What do you think it’s worth?

I wouldn’t give you any more than one pence for that, retorted the man.

Sold for one pence!

Short Story

ROSIE’S OUTING

Rosie’s Outing

(1) INTRODUCTION

Montague Silverstone held an intense dislike of his Christian name, to the point of wondering whether he should change it by deed poll. From an early age, he had questioned his father about it on many occasions.

Why did you give me a name like ‘Montague’, Dad?

Well son, Sebastian Silverstone would reply. It’s unusual, distinctive and has three syllables, whereas my first name has four!

So what! his son would exclaim in exasperation.

There is a tendency to shorten people’s Christian names, his father would explain in his calm, patient manner. When that is done to yours, throughout your life, it is likely that it will be reduced to two syllables and not one! He would smile at his son, pat him on the shoulder and add, When you are older, you might even prefer the gravitas of calling yourself ‘Montague’ occasionally, because it sounds special and can encourage people to show you more respect.

The first part of his father’s logic had proved to be correct very quickly. Throughout School and beyond, his son was known as ‘Monty’. The other part of his father’s claim, about the distinctiveness of the name, could have been substantial, too. If his son had become a Member of Parliament or a distinguished academic, for example, the title ‘Montague’ might have carried a certain amount of standing in its own right. As it was, his son became a local authority council tax official and administrator who bore the name with embarrassment and chose to continue with the friendly, more approachable, adopted title of ‘Monty’ for much of his life.

A change in outlook about his Christian name, towards the second part of his father’s reasoning, came to Monty fortuitously when he met Penelope Herrington, who had shortened her four-syllable Christian name to ‘Penny’. They smiled with affection as their lengthy Christian names were read aloud by the Vicar at their marriage and realised that the entries of ‘Montague’ and ‘Penelope’ in the registry book at the Church, when coupled with the surname of ‘Silverstone’, bore a certain distinctiveness. Thus, the seal of approval was set on the usefulness and manipulation of Christian names in the Silverstone family for at least one more generation.

Monty loved his wife Penny very much and, if possible, his two children even more. In true Silverstone style the children were named Alexandria and Broderick, shortened to ‘Alex’ and ‘Brodie’ respectively.

Penny suffered from severe asthma and extremes of temperature were a matter of particular concern. Her breathing would become laboured at cold or very high temperatures and she found it difficult to complete even ordinary household tasks on these occasions. Monty and the children made every effort to compensate for this by helping, to remove the strain and encourage her to relax. The inevitable consequence of this was that the everyday stresses of parenthood, such as taking the children to school, and the regular grind of doing household chores fell upon him quite often, but he didn’t mind. If she could keep her health, if the children were happy and if all of them functioned as a family, at least as well as could be expected, he was content.

One of the saddest and most surprising experiences of Monty’s life had a coincidental connection with his name. In hindsight, he believed that the experience, which occurred at an unexpected time and in unlikely circumstances, carried a message about his own good fortune and placed the stresses and strains of family life in an entirely new perspective. His memories of the event were haunted and focused by the circumstances of its occurrence.

That’s the nature of surprises, he would reason. "They don’t happen where or when you expect; that’s why they’re termed ‘surprises’.’’

This one occurred on a Saturday morning in August, during a heat wave.

(2) BEGINNINGS

The main part of Monty’s unusual experience occurred in a busy supermarket, close to the centre of the nearby town, but the story began at home, at eight o’clock in the morning. Monty had washed, shaved, dressed and walked downstairs to find his family gathered in the kitchen. Even at this comparatively early hour in the morning, the heat was intense and the air seemed unbreathable. The sun was beginning to feel hot and sweat was trickling down his face. The children were eating breakfast by the table and Penny was standing by an open window, trying to catch a draught of air. She was breathing sharply and intermittently, a sure sign of asthma problems, and held a piece of paper in her hand which she was wafting to-and-fro. An electric fan whirred and half-turned on top of a kitchen unit by her side.

Whatever’s happening today, Dad’’ stated Alex between mouthfuls of cereal, count me out. She consumed more cereal before continuing. I’ve got friends here this morning and we’re staying in the garden, under a big umbrella, with cool drinks and lots of music."

Brodie stopped eating his toast and frowned. That’s me out, then! he declared resolutely. I’m don’t want to be here! He turned to his father. ‘’Dad, can I go along the street, to play cricket with Michael? He added, Until her friends have left!"

Monty smiled, winked at his wife and responded cheerfully, ‘’Ask the Boss! My guess is that she’s got something planned!"

Penny spoke to her daughter between wheezing and drawing rattling, gulps and gasps of air. I want all of your friends gone by dinner-time, while her son received the response, and you must be back by dinner-time!

Clearly, something’s happening at dinner-time, declared Monty as all of them stared at Penny with renewed interest.

That depends on your father, she replied, as she relinquished her place by the window and sat at the table.

Something’s afoot! he mused, to the sound of laughter from the other three.

Penny’s voice sounded tired and plaintive as she spoke.

Monty, dear, she said and paused.

The pause was a typical ploy which she used frequently to gain attention without making too much effort and it succeeded. Their eyes were fixed upon her.

Monty, dear, she repeated with a thin smile across her face, I need you to do some shopping.

The piece of paper which she had been using to waft the air was handed to him. He noticed that even this was an exertion for her and she was breathing quickly and heavily. The paper contained a list of shopping items. His reading of it, with obvious distaste, caused her to smile as she knew how much he disliked shopping.

"Where can I get all