Daddy Issues

By McFly

We all use the word remembrance as a memory tool or a hope of recollection for ourselves when we have fallen into deep depression or have a feeling of hopelessness, to remember those incredibly special moments we shared with others. December 25th, Christmas Day for all kids, is the best day of the year (besides their own birthday). It’s a celebration full of happiness, gifts, smiles, laughter, joy, and excitement. You would never associate that day with a broken heart, sadness, and a mother having to tell her three kids the worst news ever … well, it’s possible.

Life experienced a kid named Ray at a young age to grow up and understand the real importance of being strong for the people that are around you. December 25th, 2008, his father Memphis committed suicide and it made him question everybody and everything, including God. He was in the 3rd grade, eight years old, and the oldest of three children. His family went
through one of the hardest times in their life, with no one to turn to in times of despair. At that point in his life, he could not grasp the purpose of that decision and mentally was disturbed. He didn’t know how to handle what he was going through, with that being said, he decided that nothing in life was worth it anymore and succeeding wasn’t on his agenda any longer. He gave up. He didn't go to school for two months straight. He quit sports. He never ate, and at times, he questioned life itself. His mother Star was the only thing that kept him moving and motivated. She was his inspiration, motivation, and the reason he kept going.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Feb 19, 2020
• ISBN: 9781796089257

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Copyright © 2020 by McFly.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 02/19/2020

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CONTENTS

Rap 1: Christmas Day

Rap 2: True Story

Rap 3: I Can’t Shake It

Rap 4: Disloyal

Rap 5: Right or Wrong

Rap 6: Chicago Story

Rap 7: Chanella

Rap 8: Real Friends

Rap 9: Hurting

Rap 10: Faith in Me

Rap 11: Enough

Rap 12: Motions

Letter to my Mom

Letter to C. and Zara

Letter to my Father

Family is defined by loyalty not blood

For my Mother, Brother, and Sister I love you Fab 4 for life

"Listen to the Album Daddy Issues on all platforms"

Rap 1: Christmas Day

Star broke to her knees black shirt with grey jeans screaming saying God please bring him back to me imagine that it in your head having to tell your kids they daddy dead on Christmas Day in 08 boo boo the fool I could’ve been that fool who dropped out of school who did that dirt and start selling work but why make my momma hurt.

Accomplish things like me I been making hits since I was six change the story that’s the game fame and glory is the thang money changes everything Ray go insane who that is they know my name like Nike just do it my dreams go hard and pursue them.

I ain’t rapping on this beat for sympathy but the devil rode my back at 13 I’m a go getter get it by any means I wish I could wake up from this life SWEATING HURTING NERVOUS like a bad dream but it ain’t bad as it really seems I den had it way harder back 14.

Pops got killed by the ropes my uncle he died because a stroke my granny she died cus of cancer & drinking ate my grandfather liver NOPE NOPE NOPE AINT NO PRESSURE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE.

I remember them ropes my father used to get choked naw it could’ve been worst naw it really got worst going house to house nobody to watch us found a place to lay our head because I remember them days after school six hours sitting in the back of Fred’s.

I lost my father then I lost my uncle he was more like a brother somebody I could trust but they both betrayed me, and it really hurt, and it made me angry.

I was in 3rd grade bussing heads putting niggas in hospital beds I was insane going Super Saiyan anger management counseling trying to let this all settle in taking L’s I couldn’t win my father killed himself self-inflicted hanging I been lying to all my friends to save my self the embarrassment.

We got rob back to back a double heist but one thing for certain fab 4 for life we got rob back to back a double heist but one thing for certain fab 4 for life.

I was in 3rd grade bussing heads putting niggas in hospital beds I was insane going Super Saiyan anger management counseling trying to let this all settle in taking L’s I couldn’t win my father killed himself self-inflicted hanging I been lying to all my friends to save my self the embarrassment.

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Every year Ray and his siblings slept in the same room; same bed anxious for Christmas morning. His parents had big problems during this time of the year and his father didn’t live with them at the time so when they did get to see him, they were so happy. The kids would mainly see their father after school he would pick them up and tell them he loved them and then he would leave. Waking up that Christmas morning the first thing Ray and his siblings, Junior his brother, and Lovey his sister, did was look out the window to see if their father car was in the driveway. Ray always said, he would never forget that moment. The excitement and happiness they felt was unmatched. That shit felt great Ray said. They were so damn happy to see their father home. His brother Junior was five years old at the time and said, We can now be a big happy family. Every year they would sit on the couch and wait for thier parents to finally come out the room so they could open thier gifts. They would usually wake them up, but this year was different. Ray went to his parents’ room and only saw his mother. She was on the phone, but he didn’t think anything of it. Ray sensed a weird feeling because there were a lot of presents unwrapped and his mother looked crazy like she had just got done crying.

Ray’s best friend asked him about that morning and he replied to him with you ever cried so fucking hard to the point that shit was silent, and you couldn’t hear shit, but tears were just falling from your eyes that was my mother. His mother Star came into the living room where the kids were waiting and was trying to say something, but she couldn’t get the words out. She literally broke to her knees and after that silent cry was over, Ray heard the loudest fucking scream he ever heard in his entire life. That shit still plays in his head till this day. Ray and his siblings all ran to her crying, and screaming asking her momma what’s wrong? WHATS WRONG? she screams Y’all daddy gone he dead Ray felt that shit in his entire body. They all instantly went crazy. They were just screaming holding each other tight as fuck. Imagine that shit. His mom never came right out and said how his father died and when they were crying, Ray asked her how did this happen did he kill himself? and she kept crying shaking her head and said Yes yeah he killed himself he doesn’t even know how the fuck he guessed that. He saw and heard so much bull shit going on in his house I guess you can say he expected the unexpected. Craziest shit ever. What was supposed to be one of the happiest days of the year turned out to be the worst day of thier fucking life FOREVER.

Ray was mad, sad, and pissed shit every negative emotion in the book. He felt so many fucking emotions at once. That shit was a different level of hurt for him. He started punching holes in the walls while everybody else was still crying. That shit went on for hours. He can’t remember much of that day besides them waking up happy as fuck to see thier father home then end up having to see thier mom break down. After all that his mind goes blank of that day. That was the hardest shit he ever had to deal with. Through all the shit you’re about to find out that was the only time in his life his mother showed she was hurting. She stayed strong