The for as You See Tales

By Kathy Cox

My second book is story after story coming from a vast and endless pit somewhere between my ear lobes.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Oct 14, 2019
• ISBN: 9781728330914

Kathy Cox

Goodness me, I am an old southern born and raised; hard core country women with a lot of time on my hands. My thoughts tend to be outside the box, unlike what I have labeled as the “disposable” generation. I wash my dishes by hand; I sew my clothes when they get a tear in them. The “disposable” generation buys their clothes with holes in them. They only eat fast food out of disposable containers that they just throw out their car windows landing all along the road side. They do not have the time to cook, sit, eat, and then wash their dishes. OK, enough about me, tell me about you.

Book preview

© 2019 Kathy (AE) Cox. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 10/11/2019

ISBN: 978-1-7283-3093-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-7283-3092-1 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-7283-3091-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2019915951

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

CONTENTS

Dedication

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

CHAPTER ONE

Animal Tales (Also Known As) Anthropomorphism

A Fish Tail

Calm, Cool, And Collected

Fair Game

Figuring It Out

Getting Back On Track

Hooking Horns

Howling At The Moon

In Remembrance Of Me

Junk Yard Dog

Momma Tiger, Papa Bear

Monkey Business

Not In A Million Years

One Bad Apple

See How Smart I Am

The Real Reason The Dodo Bird Is Extinct

Touché

Why Not Make It Fun?

Winter In The Cedars

A Dog’s Tail

CHAPTER TWO

For The Young At Heart

A Story A Day Keeps The Doctor Away

All The Kings Horses And All The Kings Men

And This Too Shall Pass

Musical Chairs

Cause And Effect

Is It Contagious?

Lullaby

Not So Close

Planting A Seed

That’s Not What I Wanted

The Bully

The Dragon And The Dragonfly

The Five Second Rule

The Story Teller

There Is A Snake In Our House

There Is A Storm Coming

Tis The Season

What’s Different With Christmas This Year?

At The Equator, How Do They Know When It Is Christmas?

Campfire

CHAPTER THREE

For The Older Crowd

Doing Time

A Mother’s Tears

A Tale Of Two Sisters

An Up Hill Climb

Beanie This One Is For You

Bringing Down This Old House

Excuse Me Please

Don Pablo

How Special Are You?

That Was A Really Good Bad Dream

No Pain Means No Gain

Now, Was That So Hard?

Pandora’s Box

Raining On Your Parade

Smelling The Roses

Genie In A Bottle

Swimming With The Fishes

That’s Mine

The Extra Mile

The Hand Is Quicker Than The Eye

The Power Of Persuasion

The Year Of The Wolf

Will It Be Yes Or Will It Be No?

Workmanship

I’m Covered

One Last Dance

The Right Move

All In The Name Of The King

Change

Sermon On The Mountain

Chopping Down A Cherry Tree

You Take The High Road And I’ll Take The Low Road

CHAPTER FOUR

For My Eyes Only

A Little Known Fact About Gnomes

Being Human

Closing Out The Account

Cry Me A River

Defining Crazy

From A Frog To A Prince

If You Cut Me Do I Not Bleed?

It Is Only A Dream

My Wet Suit

Paul, Are There Really Any Angels?

This Is What’s Wrong With This World

The Way I See It…

Why I Cry At Christmas

Is There A Weight Limit In Heaven?

Divorce

What Is FAMILY?

Love Means Never Having To Say You’re Sorry

Debridement (AKA) Picking A Scab

Funny Is In The Eyes Of The Beholder

I Surrender

My Swan Song

About The Author

DEDICATION

I dedicate all of my short stories to the ones I love and the ones who love me unconditionally.

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

PART TWO

A SHORT STORY

I would be willing to bet you, that if you were to ask a room full of people why any chicken would want to cross a road then I am convinced you would end up with a room full of people each with a different answer to that question. You would hear them maybe say that the chicken crossed the road because he ran out of sidewalk, or maybe he crossed the road because he needed something from the other side of town, or my favorite reply would be, because he was being chased by a very big bad mangy dog. Nope, the real reason the chicken crossed the road is simply because someone somewhere told him not to.

The reason I know this to be a factual statement is because just like the chicken, I too crossed the road only because my next door neighbor softly told me not to. It was a beautiful spring day, just perfect weather to be out in my back yard enjoying the smell of freshly cut grass floating in the air around me. Being a Saturday morning every male for miles around was out mowing his grass, so the sound of circling lawnmowers seemed to drown out all the other noises in my neighborhood. My back yard fence was a metal chain link one just like all the other houses on my block, the only difference between mine and all the rest was a very dense overgrowth of honeysuckle vines. Let me let you in on a little know secret about honeysuckle vines, not only do they have the sweetest smelling flowers which attract humming birds, bees and little children, they also seem to house a wide variety of snakes. If not for the snake factor the thought of cutting down those vines would never have crossed my mind. Even now to this day I enjoy sucking the sweet juice from a honeysuckle flower while it is still in full bloom.

My sweet elderly next door neighbor who had known me for only a short while now, saw me looking at the vines and noticed the hedge clippers that I was holding in my right hand so he walked over to me. With the softest and nicest of voices he pointed to the vines and said Kathy, do you see that green vine mixed in with the honeysuckle vines? I said Yes. He matter of factually stated, That’s Poison Oak, you do not want to mess with that, and then he went back to mowing his yard.

I had never heard of anything called Poison Oak, the only Poison thing I had ever heard of was Poison Ivy and even then I had never had any contact with the plant, so I had no way of knowing what kind of mess I was fixing to get myself into.

Dressed in a shirt with no sleeves to cover my arms, and just daisy duke high cut short shorts to protect my legs, and nothing on my feet but open toed flip flops, I was dressed to tackle the clearing of my backyard fence. Lord only knows where Kelly was at that particular time probably at work the only thing for sure was he wasn’t anywhere around close enough to stop me. Armfuls after armfuls of vines were hugged up close to my exposed skin as I bagged it and then walked the bags from my backyard to the front yard for trash pickup. The more I worked, the hotter I got, and the more I sweated the more open the pores in my skin became which only gave the Poison Oak easier access to all my body parts.

Needless to say it took about three months, two ER visits, several shots, four different Doctors, numerous prescriptions, all kinds of creams and countless sleepless nights, not to mention makeup to try and cover the whelps on my face, all because I never seem to be able to learn my lesson anyway except the hard way.

I never told my neighbor that he was the wisest man on the planet (even though I should have) and I never told him that I had Poison Oak from my head to my toes, but somehow I think he probably figured it out since every time after that when he saw me I was sweating bullets while wearing long sleeve shirts with long pants, socks and tennis shoes on. I even think I had Poison Oak on my ear drums. Talk about being miserable, that happened about 1984 and I am still carrying the scars of that one summers messed up adventure.

For as you see, The next time someone tells this chicken to stop and think twice about why I should be crossing the road, I would be willing to wager all I own with you that before I make my first step out, I will stop and look both ways, check out the wind speed and direction, look up at the sky for rain clouds, listen for thunder and lightning then make sure the stripe in the middle of the road I am crossing is dry and not just newly painted. Yep, I think I learned my lesson the hard way don’t you? No matter how softly it is put to you, you should always, beyond a shadow of a doubt, listen to what your elders have to say to you.

End of Story

CHAPTER ONE

75582.png

ANIMAL TALES (ALSO KNOWN AS) ANTHROPOMORPHISM

A Fish Tail

A SHORT STORY

Each spring, sometime in the later part of March, there is a stirring that begins way down deep in the Lake. All the commotion is brought about just to announce to all that the time has come again for the spawning ritual of the Rainbow Trout. Of course all the fish in the Lake are invited to the party, but the King and Queen of this event will always be reserved for the Lake Trout only.

Tammy and Thelma Trout wouldn’t have been late for this year’s festival even if both of their lives depended upon it, and so as they finished eating lunch the two Sisters got all dressed up and headed down to the deep end of the Lake. There they stopped swimming just about 10 feet from the outskirts of the crowd that had already begun to gather for the concert. Standing there they just stared out across the festival fairgrounds trying really hard to find a friend or two to dance with after the music started to play.

The stage was all set up and ready with drums and guitars in place, and the group of fish in front started clapping and chanting in the middle of the mosh pit by the time Tammy said, Thelma, who are you looking for? Thelma replied, I was hoping to see Todd again this year. He sure was more than just a good time last year and I know it just won’t be the same if he doesn’t make it back to dance with me again. Then Thelma added, Tammy do you have anyone in mind for your first dance?

Tammy blushed as she said, there was this one good looking hunk of fish that turned my head last year, and I think his name was Tony. Thelma questioned Tammy by saying, girl, how are you going to locate just one fish from all the other hundreds of fish down there? Tammy replied, Sis, there he is, just look over there, don’t you see him? Thelma said, Where is he? Point him out to me.

Tammy pointed over and out into the crowd and then said, See him; he is the good looking one over there who is grinning from gill to gill. Thelma said, oh yeah, he does stand out in a crowd. Now do you think you can help me spot Todd? Tammy said, Sure Sis what does he look like? Thelma replied, You know he shouldn’t be that hard to find since he is missing half a spot on his left side. Tammy laughed as she said, well Sis, you are going to need a little bit more than just your average amount of good luck finding him out there in all that sea of spots.

For as you see, nothing stands out better in a crowd of frowns than someone who has a really big smile on his face.

End of Story

Calm, Cool, And Collected

A SHORT STORY

South America is where they say the most abundant amount of insects in the world can be found. So I would imagine that South America is where there would also have to be an abundance of lizards just to keep the insects at bay. This is where my story comes into play.

Deep in the Amazon Rain Forest high up in the trees lives a pair of chameleons named Leo and Leon. Leo and Leon ruled the top most branch of their favorite tree. One day Leo, the thinner of the two lizards, couldn’t stand it any longer he just had to ask Leon a question. Leo said, Friend, why is it that you have no trouble at all getting all the bugs you want to eat where I have to nearly run them down just to be able to survive? Leon lazily turned to Leo and said, Well friend, just look at how different we are. I can sit completely still on this branch, while changing colors to easily blend into my surroundings, and then I can keep being this still all day if that is what it takes for the bugs to come within tongue striking distance of me. I make the food come to me, where you can’t even stay still long enough for me to finish this conversation.

Leo replied, you know you are absolutely right, I think the reason I can’t stay still is because I am constantly worrying about where my next meal will come from, which in turn keeps the bugs far away from me making it harder then for me to catch them. I guess my worrying has made my life just one big vicious cycle. Leon said, That’s exactly what your problem is. If you will just learn to relax then the bugs around you will also relax and let their guard down, which will in turn makes your life a whole lot easier. Leo then told Leon that if he sees him even try to make a wrong move then he had his permission to swat him. So with Leon’s help Leo never went hungry again, because if Leo even thought about moving an inch then Leon would stick his tongue out at Leo and double dog dared him to blink an eye.

For as you see, trying too hard and worrying about whether or not you will get what you want will always be the enemy of success, and the easiest way to get pregnant, especially when the doctor’s say you can’t have a baby, is to relax, tell yourself not to worry, and then go out and buy a new house, a new car, and a new boat. Because it never fails that when you can no longer afford to have a baby, one will miraculously seem to come your way.

End of Story

Fair Game

A SHORT STORY

Among the deepest reaches of the African Serengeti Plains lies a solemn plateau overlooking a vast area of flat land. On the open green plain all different varieties of grass eating animals have gathered together to celebrate the up and coming spring season, which God has set aside for the birth of their offspring. Soon the soft fresh green blades of grass will rise up too nestle and hide the little ones, safe and sound from the view of any would be predators.

Elmore, being the leader and oldest of the Lion pride had brought his oldest son Eli to the plateau overlooking the Serengeti for his first lesson on hunting. Elmore asked Eli to look out across the vast plain and tell him what he saw. Eli said, Dad, I see every animal that lives around us, ones that we hunt and ones that we know not to hunt like the elephant. Elmore said, Good observation Son, now tell me why we leave the elephant alone. Eli said, I think it is because the elephant is so very big that we would have to work way too hard to take him down. Elmore replied, That is surely part of the reason, but the most important reason is that when you take the time to count the elephant you will see that there are not more than just a handful of them left for us to hunt. So to be a wise and strong leader we should chose to only hunt the elephant when he is sick and dying, because if we do not choose to selectively hunt only certain elephants then soon they will all be gone forever.

Elmore then asked Eli to point to the animal that he would choose to hunt if he was asked to go down to the plains and hunt one of them for their supper. Eli replied, Dad it wouldn’t make a difference to me because I can catch anyone of them that I choose to at any time I decide to. His Dad said, You are completely correct about your ability and power to hunt down any that you see, but because of that, you also have to take on the responsibility that goes along with having that power. Eli said, What responsibility Dad? If I am hungry shouldn’t I just take food as it comes to me? His Dad roared, "no Son, there is no pride in hunting the smallest or the weakest in front of you, which are usually all the littlest ones.

That wouldn’t give them the chance they need to grow up and feed you many years from now, and if their Mothers feel that their babies are all at