The Crow Report

By Bee Smith

In 2018, Bee felt like she became the “queen of Hollywood” after she thought she spotted the love of her life, her first love, who appeared as a big Hollywood director. From that moment on, Bee got into professional writing for the first time and started the notes facility on her iPhone, and from this experience, she came out with this third book, The Crow Report. Enjoy!

The series of books written so far by Bee Smith are as follows:
• Book 1—Experimenting with Basic Tasks
• Book 2—One Example
• Book 3—The Crow Report
• Book 4—Queen Bee’s Party
• Book 5—The Diary’s in a Good Place

But there’s more that might be on the horizon:
• Book 6—Picnic Blanket for One

Look out for that one also!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris AU
• Release date: Jul 17, 2019
• ISBN: 9781796003796

Bee Smith

Bee Smith is a woman who grew up in Melbourne, Australia. She doesn’t associate herself as a writer but she felt a need to document her story for the sake of the children and for them to learn not to make the same mistakes as she did. She believes she is part of a social experiment on the World Wide Web for the last 25 years but this website has been hidden from her. She feels as if she is one of the most famous people on the web because of it. The only problem she faces is that she feels she is in a conspiracy and no-one is willing to acknowledge the fact, due to all the controversy that has surrounded her life. But despite all this, Bee is in a good frame of mind now and all seems well.

Book preview

INTRODUCTION

Essence of my story

M Y NAME IS Bee Smith and I have been stung by a psychologist from the late 1970’s where the end result is a massive hidden website from me even if it’s all about me. I have been fighting some injustices done to me particularly in the last decade, if not longer. I have attempted many times at getting people not to lie to me and acknowledging who I am and to tell me the truth, but it hasn’t worked and it never will probably. I am not mentally ill, I have a few memories from the last 4 decades, that when I tell people, they tell me I’m unwell and no-one wants to hear it really or avoid that kind of talk. I relate myself to a kind of psychic with my own story as I have made certain assumptions (like psychic readings) that might be happening to me due to these memories I have. I had issues in the past but everything is mostly fine with me now in many respects. I think I might know what I should do and that is continue with life the way I’m going now and continue writing if there’s odd occurrences to write about (the only things I like to write about really).

I have written 5 books so far in total. I want to publish all of them if I can because everything I’ve written is an all important part of the story I find, except for a few odd comments I like to add to my writing sometimes unrelated to the story, but that’s just me, so I can reflect back on the story when I read it with at least some enjoyment with this extra stuff I might include. If you’ve read Book1 then there is no valid reason to read this introduction as it is only a summary of Book1. I only want to include the essence of my story at the start of each subsequent books from the first, in case my readers don’t have time to read all my books and so the books can stand alone in a way. My book titles are as follows:-

Book 1 – Experimenting With Basic Tasks

Book 2 – One Example

Book 3 – The Crow Report

Book 4 – Queen Bee’s Party

Book 5 – The Diary’s In A Good Place

Look out for them, but there’s more currently in progress….

Book 6 – Picnic Blanket For One

And if I persist with my writing I might include….

Book 7 – I Love Recycling

Book 8 – Oven-Baked Words

(…why not? Or I might title Book 8 as Over-Baked Words, not sure yet, depends on how it reads when finished. It might stop there at Book 8 but no-one knows how far I’m willing to go, we will see.)

The essence of my story goes as follows….

I was born in Melbourne and grew up in Forest Hill attending a government primary and secondary school there. One day in 1978 or 1979 when I was 8 or 9 years old, I decided to become a famous writer but wrote a very explicit diary with some incidents that occurred. I was not a sexual abuse victim but more of a drama queen with this explicit diary and really it was bad karma for me knowing at the time that it was quite a dog-act humiliating the people I was writing about in this diary. But I think I was simply a young girl who wanted to write down who she had a crush on at school, on a boy named Conrad.

The teacher gets hold of this diary and I must have felt so humiliated as I thought I was now famous, so was Conrad, and that he now hated me and so I block him from my mind for the next 4 decades. What happens next between 1979-1982 is I become a tv show writer through essay writing because I must have thought it’s too late I’m already famous. I have vague memories of these essays but clearer memories of the titles I gave these tv shows. The shows I think I wrote are Prisoner, Home and Away, Neighbours, Sons and Daughters, Bananas in Pyjamas, Young Talent Time and Extra-Terrestrial (a movie not a tv show). But some of these might be existing shows and I coincidentally wrote the same thing. In writing these shows, I think I announced myself as Queen Bee to the world not that I knew exactly what that entailed and soon forgot about it.

All these memories I have of the tv show/movie titles, I realised years later were all produced but no-one ever told me they were about to be produced. These ideas I feel we’re actually stolen from me at the time for some kind of experimenting on me it seems. But I think at the time in the early 80s I got a reaction to these when they first appeared on TV like when 1st watching Prisoner, I was shocked and I think I felt it was unfair because I didn’t get payed but then thought another little girl must have written it and I wrote something similar because I thought they would have told me. Must have been in denial about the fame because of the shocking diary and also must have felt not good enough in my writing to be paid and I needed to produce more. I don’t know what happened but right from the start I sensed this feeling of being stuck like I was a real prisoner. Maybe I had negative feelings associated with my tv show writing from the 1st episode I watched of Prisoner because I felt they stole my idea and I wasn’t paid. I think also I have a vague memory of feeling like all the Prisoner actors knew my personal business, I just sensed they had read my writing or did I get this vibe years later, anyway I always felt like I was kind of on the run from this original personal diary.

What happens when I’m 10 years old is now I have a vague memory of creating something bigger than the United States of America through my essay writing. I think coincidence strikes here where I create an organization called the United Nations. Didn’t realise at the time until afterwards when I say to myself Hold on! Doesn’t that already exist and realised how comical it was to look as if I invented something so massive as the United Nations but also got in quite a panic on why I pushed things so far, as I didn’t want that amount of fame and attention. Must have always had negative feelings about fame and why wouldn’t I if I sensed my ideas were stolen and I was given nothing, not that I wrote the UN essay for that, but the rest I probably did (for some kind of income). Only decades later did I feel the negative effects of being world famous and practically broke when I was forced to live in cheap shared accommodation with total strangers or later be forced to live with my parents in my 30s and 40s.

Now in high school between 1983-1988 I also have memories of writing the tv shows Married with Children, Acropolis Now, The Comedy Company and also the movie The Game. The years that followed all these were produced but once again no-one told me and even till this day everyone denies that these ideas were stolen. In early high school when I remembered the plan I had, to take the gamble of continuing to write tv shows, I saw it as a future investment and even if they had a hold on me these psychiatrists, I also had a hold on them and that was their requirement for them to pay me for my ideas at some stage, which they haven’t done even till this day 40 years later. But mostly I was oblivious during all of my schooling, that I had some plan. I didn’t know I was a tv show writer and if anyone confronted me with that news, I think I would be in shock. It started so early, that I wasn’t even conscious of such a plan except the rare times I had a few fleeting thoughts about it.

Then in 1986 on an essay question how do you see the future?, I thought of an information publishing system on computers as a definite in the future. I realised it might not be an invention but wondered why people don’t talk about such a thing on computers that seems to be so fantastic. I realised it must exist somehow but hasn’t been named yet. So cunningly I thought I’d describe it, name it and name its different parts as I realised every aspect of this system was massive and I took the opportunity to make things look big (i.e. to make my fame look bigger than what it was). I named it the World Wide Web or internet, I named emails and chat rooms and accidentally created the term IT. I thought someone has to name it and I must get the best protection of all, but the complications of the term IT and declaring myself as it and a bit ruined me and I block it out. I realised all the implications of this information publishing system and imagined a terrible future for myself as a kind of future celebrity on the web and everyone knowing what I do each day. There was so many complications after writing this essay that I block it out maybe because I was so introverted at the time.

Six months later, not sure, there was an essay question what is your dream? and not thinking clearly and having the paranoia of my web searches and email spied on at the back of my mind, I accidentally lock myself in a lifetime of social experiment. When I half-believed what I was actually proposing (even though it was only a sarcastic joke at the start), I was supposed to only turn my life in a kind of reality web/tv show for 10 years or so, until the age of 30. Didn’t know exactly what I was doing but being in the trance of not being payed for my other written tv shows, I became delusional that they require more from me, not only a reality show for 10 years but 20 years, exiting at 40 years old. Sadly, the wrong wording was used and I was traumatized I locked myself in for a lifetime experiment, not only that I accidentally wrote and your whole life is a lie because I was proposing to be represented in the media and end up as Popular Culture and thought all hell will break loose and I kind of didn’t want to face the truth from the horrors. But then quickly realised how horrible it would be if you whole life is a lie. In the end I knew it was one big horror story I had written or simply a sarcastic joke about wanting to have this dream of being the Queen of Hollywood and I said not in the end as the last word. I assumed they understood not means no.

From this last Popular Culture media experiment disaster and the fact I referred myself as it and a bit, I must have developed some kind of traumatic amnesia as I realised I had just accidentally destroyed the world in a way, that’s how I saw it, and really I thought this writing should never get out because everyone wants a clean environment even in the media. I became delusional that I’ll forever be punished if these things ever got out.

Between 1991-1993 I attend university and do a degree in Computing. My immediate group were friends were very nice but I sensed I was being gossiped about in chat rooms by a few guys I was very suspicious about as if they were evil because I was told they started a cult on me. I was a bit scared or more really paranoid from it. I knew I was a victim of gossip in the background on computers (and the start of the internet) and this must have affected me badly but I blocked it out and was haunted for the next decade on and off by these evil cult guys talking about me online. My entire life I’ve felt quite tormented by the paranoia of people following me in the background whether it was psychiatrists following my school essays or evil cult guys stalking me online. I block all these feelings out but I feel this was another injustice done to me because I know now by one comment made to me that my school essays were published online without my permission and I must have been mocked by many of my peers and all this secrecy was surrounding me.

In 1994 I have a mental breakdown when I’m reminded that the cult still exists but what happens due to a trance I must have been in, I end up getting all this plastic surgery. What happens is the surgeon I believe was told by the psychiatrists monitoring me, to video tape the surgery. They violated me in that minute they brought out the camera and I was convinced that they’ll video tape it anyway, even if I said for them not to. I became sick, and was sick in the weeks leading up to that surgery, but anyway felt violated afterwards especially because of an extreme fear I have of video cameras and photographic cameras. Anyway, from this breakdown I end up leaving town as I also realised my family and friends were all lying to me or hiding things from me and I was so totally disgusted at everyone. I realised before going to Sydney that I was part of the most evil thing out there, of being recorded in my own home possibly in the future, only because I thought if they recorded the plastic surgery, I got a bad vibe that more recordings and intrusion will happen in the future. I was so traumatised but blocked everything out, I lost trust in people and realised I couldn’t form any kind of sexual relationship because of possible recording and abuse.

Forgetting all this a few weeks after moving to Sydney, I start work with a computing company in 1995. I meet a guy called Jacob and find true love for the first time and get stuck on him for the next 23 years. Through these last 2 decades, I’ve experienced a lot and having clearer memories now and putting the puzzle together, I realise now I must have been part of some degrading dating show online not with one guy but turns out Jacob was identical quadruplets I think, not sure. Now it is more clear to me there were a variety of subtle personality changes and a subtle variety in their appearance. I was part of a social experiment and monitored, and didn’t even know it. This was kind of confined by one friend of Jacob, a man called Sam who implied to me I was audio recorded in the Bondi and Redfern apartments we lived in. This must have psychological scarred me for decades and I couldn’t think clearly. This entire situation is another injustice I faced, and I’m still coming to grips with it decades later as only now do I realise what must have happened.

In 1996, one Jacob starts physically and verbally abusing me. This shook me to the core because I couldn’t quite comprehend this gentle, kind man had turned into a monster. I of course, didn’t realise I was dealing with identical looking brothers at the time, and this is why I was so perplexed. Nevertheless I escape him, go to Melbourne, where I connect to the internet for the first time and my instincts told me I was stalked online. Couldn’t really deal with such a horror and such public humiliation as another invasion of privacy. Was in denial for ages that such a degrading experience was happening to me publicly and in denial about everything.

In 1997 having the memory problems that I’ve had all my life, I also forgot Jacob’s abuse that time in Sydney. So once again I’m reunited with him in Hong Kong and then we go to Nepal where these Jacobs must have been taking swaps with me from village to village. I say this because there was such a contrast in personality and probably another reason I was mentally unwell at the time and also in an abusive relationship. Only now do I make the assumption that the abuse from one of the Jacobs might have been some alternative treatment/therapy by a psychiatrist that I suspect now that he was, so I can discover I’m part of a social experiment on the web. Regardless of what this one was really, I had a horrendous time with him. Not sure, it’s all a blur but must have been staying with him for the normal, kind ones of the Jacobs. They all looked the same to me, but sounded somewhat different.

This year also after another fight with this partner of mine, Jacob, we went our separate ways and I end up in Greece. Here I must have been drugged, not sure, but I end up feeling like I was raped and completely violated with a guy who videotaped me having sex with him. This video camera was not consensual and that’s why I felt so raped afterwards, also the fact I became unconscious once seeing the video camera through the opening of the bedroom doorway and god knows what happened in those hours. I assumed I continued to be videotaped and photographed naked as I was unconscious and no doubt all these photos/videos ended up on the World Wide Web. Maybe this was all staged and part of my treatment to deal with a lifetime experiment and audio recordings. I don’t know what the story is, no-one’s said a thing to me, they all pretend it’s not happening.

In London at the end of 1997, I live in share accommodation with a variety of different people in a few units/houses. It is also in 1998 that having had enough of my treatment from Jacob, I end up falling in love with a woman called Dara but she was only my friend. Once again, I was either in a situation where there was identical triplet/quadruplets sisters tricking me or it was a series of identical looking woman, these Daras. Thought she was one and the only friend I made in London at the time.

In 1999, all the movies started to come out that were obviously implying this media/movie experiment I was part of and probably had been for years. I started to realise after Forrest Gump and There’s Something About Mary, The Matrix and The Truman Show, that there were hints about my life. In 2000 I was out of amnesia temporarily and realise I was famous on the web for my web essay, my Hollywood essay and a few TV shows I had written. But surprisingly my sister and my partner Jacob were both denying it. I felt such shame because I realised what was online on this hidden website about me must have been so disgraceful that it was unspeakable. I especially thought this after I got my memory back on the sex video I was in and a degrading photo taken of me 6 months earlier. And I couldn’t talk about all this to anyone for decades, I had such a horrendous experience from it all, as you would if you’ve had a serious invasion of privacy, it’s posted online and you’re a joke in the media.

I had suicidal thoughts in 2000 but recovered in the years that followed. In 2001 from some radio analysis I made some tragic assumption that I was monitored in the house where we were at Hendon, London. This was extreme trauma for me being the introverted person that I was at the time. I was in denial in the end as I thought there must be some human decency and ruled out house monitoring completely. I was insistent though this was some kind of writing show and it was only email monitoring and some publication, but this web use monitoring was humiliating enough and still very traumatic. But then thought at age 30, I’d rather this kind of work from home than go look for work outside (as I think I was too sick from it all to work a proper job), so I kind of welcomed for a short period these web use monitoring and some publications. But soon realised I had nothing to write about, was no writer, was very confused, because it was so wrong and abusive still (web stalking) so I blocked it out again within a few months. Was very confused at the time.

Living back in Melbourne now, after another failed relationship once again with a guy called Ted in 2003, I gave up all hope and wanted only to become a single mum. I fall pregnant to Jacob still thinking he was one person but end up in another hospital the first month of my pregnancy. In 2004 I gave birth to my beautiful daughter, Keara, the only child I’ve had.

I spend the next 13 years as a single mum and I still am one, but have discovered some things along the way in these last 13 years. In 2006 when I’m 36 years old, I’m finally out of amnesia, I knew I was famous on the web from my essays on this hidden website, started analysing the media and they confirmed a lot of things like text monitoring and postings. I was not mentally ill, simply I had written that kind of media experiment in 1986/87 and it was all becoming true in my eyes but I could never confirm it, people were still denying it was happening in order to protect my mind (unfortunately they had to lie). Couldn’t confirm it was happening but I had some suspicions of monitoring here and there and it started creeping up on me over time. I don’t know even till this day to what extent that monitoring might be and it’s more like the kind of thinking that psychics have, that I have. I’ve made certain assumptions which I’ve struggled with in the past but I’m fine with it now as I’ve put some faith in the Company monitoring me which I believe to be mostly ex’s monitoring me. Since August 2015 when I discovered Jacob to be actually 4 identical brothers, since then I wondered which one of them is the actual biological father that got me pregnant, but by the end of these next 4 books I think I’ve discovered who that might be finally, it took a while but I finally got there.

All my writing I do NOT believe to be mental thoughts for me, but beliefs I have, due to the stories those original essays created and hints given to me in life that I blocked out for some time. I don’t have real proof on any of this but nevertheless most of my beliefs and thoughts make me happy now after adjusting somewhat to the fame I believe I have. This wasn’t always the case but after so many failings with careers and begging family members who have businesses for jobs, I’m quite happy to work for an experiment I think I’m part of and I feel everything is under control and I’m gaining more and more trust with this Company I believe I have. In time I’m sure I’ll get paid accordingly and get some kind of justice for me, considering what’s happened.

Now finally in regards to this controversial social experiment I’m part of, I’d like to say that I know very well I’ll need protection for life because of who I am on the web, and I understand why the experiment must continue. But my preference is for people to stop lying about it, to finally see my hidden website and for the Company to stop most of the monitoring. I know this might never happen if they insist on lying to me and really if I’m part of some scientific study, I must continue along the same path I’m currently on. To be honest though I’m so used to the game they’ve played on me for decades, that it feels normal to continue along the same lines. But I feel my daughter and rest of the family should decide on this matter whether we continue or not with the experiment and to let me know if I’ve exited at some stage, be it through the media as I know they won’t mutter a word otherwise on what’s truly happening. Whatever happens now, I’ve given my preference and gave a very good summary in my first book on what should happen, as I feel this experiment might be too much for my family and the general public with all my postings. But I also understand very well who I might be out there and that some publication might have to happen, and really I can understand now how I’m part of the world culture with a lot of followers for some comedy/drama that’s out there. I put trust in editing though and that the kids are well protected. Anyway my family can decide whether the Company continues posting me or not, because my family know what’s going on and has a right in this decision.