Only in Roland's World.....

By Keith Tennant

Roland’s World was created by Keith D. Tennant Sr. The writing of this book inspired me to really get to know my family, especially my grandchildren. I like to sit and watch them play and the way they show their different personalities.

There is always one who stands out a little more than the others. I call him my little man. His name is Roland, so I decided to call my book Roland’s World. He is five years old. He’s very smart and curious—he asks so many questions. He makes me laugh because of the way he express himself.

My book is for families to sit down and read with their children. I hope you find the book hilarious. Because our children grow up so fast, don’t let time pass you by. Enjoy reading Roland’s World. Tell your children “I love you” every day.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jun 27, 2019
• ISBN: 9781796042245

Book preview

Chapter 1

Summer Splashs

This story is about me, Roland. I live with my mother at my grandparents’ house. I have the most beautiful grandparents ever. My grandaddy said that I’m kind of bad, but my mother said that I’m just a curious little boy that sometimes gets in a little bit of trouble. My grandparents have nineteen grandchildren and seven children of their own. Most of the time, the grandchildren stays on the weekends at our grandparents’ 39719.png house and most of the summer. Sometime we tend to drive our grandparents crazy. We love the sleepovers with Grandma, who teaches us how to cook, clean, pray, and go to church.

One hot Friday morning, my cousin Amanda and I woke up our grandfather early. Amanda is also known as and is called Fat Baby by the family because she’s strong. If she hits you, she’ll knock you out, especially if you’re a small kid. I’m only four years old. Amanda, she loves to eat. We stay over our grandparents’ house the majority of the time. We are so competitive about everything; we’re always fighting or arguing all the time. Since it was so hot, we decided to wake Granddaddy. All the kids call Granddaddy, Papa. We wake Papa up early out of his sleep to ask him if he would take us to Walmart or anywhere to buy us a swimming pool. Papa said, I will if you all be good and let me finish sleeping, and I’ll get right up and take you to get a swimming pool so you can have a splash. I love my papa, but when he’s says he’s going to do something, he’s always slow, very slow; and as a kid, we don’t have no patience so we sometimes get on his nerves a little bit and make him mad. See, my papa is fat. He loves to sleep.

As soon as Papa woke up, Amanda and I were on our best behavior; we didn’t fight not one time. Papa was happy when he got up. He dressed up fast and was ready to go. Papa said, Go get in the car. His car is too little for him. Since Papa is overweight, it’s hard for him to get in and out of the car. We have to wait on him to tuck us in our car seats. Then wait on him to get in the car; it sometimes takes an hour. We were so excited on the way riding to Walmart.

As soon as we pulled up to Walmart, my papa gave us a speech. He said, I don’t want neither one of you to go in the store and act up. No running around, no fighting, no eating. We’re going to get this pool, and we’re going to leave. Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth? We said, Yes, Papa.

So off we go into the store. As soon as we walked in the store, my papa started arguing about a scooter to ride around the store. They only had two working scooters. An old lady had one, and a midget guy jumped in front of him and took the other one from Papa as he was trying to sit down in the cart; he was a little too slow. The midget ran fast and jumped on it. Papa was so mad we thought he was going to sit on top of the little man or start a fight with him. Papa had to walk or stay at the front door until the other people were through with a scooter. So he too walked around the store. Papa was moving so slow it drove me crazy. I started walking around the store looking for a scooter myself. I was amazed that there were so many different types of toys. Fat Baby saw so many snacks and candy. We started running around the store. Papa was chasing us around to put us in the store basket so we would stop running around the store. Fat Baby was eating candy and running. I found a bicycle with training wheels on it. I was riding up and down the lane so fast.

At this time, I didn’t want no swimming pool no more. I wanted that bike with the training wheels. I was riding so fast couldn’t nobody catch me. I tore up the whole store up. The store owner and the workers threw me down. Then they caught Fat Baby; she was swinging and punching everyone. They still caught us and brought us back to my papa. Papa turned red; he was so mad at us. All I could think of was, Dang, we’re not getting the swimming pool anymore. Papa took us back to the hot car and rolled the windows down and locked us in our car seats. Then he went back in the store still steaming mad. Papa stayed in there so long that Fat Baby still had candy and I told her I was going to tell on her for stealing if she didn’t give me some. We were so upset that we couldn’t get a pool. Then we went to sleep in the car; Papa was in the store so long we got hot in the car.

When Papa pull up to the house he was so mad at us that he just left us sleeping in the car. He went in the house and told my mother. That’s when she woke me up, pulling me out the car choking the hell out of me for acting up at Walmart. I made sure that Fat Baby got her butt whopped for being bad as well. I didn’t see my papa when we got back home from Walmart because he was still mad. But he still bought the swimming pools anyway. Papa said, I’m not putting it up today, I’m going to take a nap. I might put it together later when the other grandbabies come over. Roland, you are on a punishment, and you too, Fat Baby, for forty-eight hours. You both can’t go outside or out the bedroom. My papa tried to take a nap, but that didn’t happen because my grandma told him to get up and put that swimming pool for the kids because the other grandbabies were on their way.

As soon as she said that, we looked out the window, and they were in the backyard. My cousins are what you would call Bay-Bay kids. As soon as they saw the pool, they automatically said it was there’s. They started trying to put it together. And Papa didn’t know what he was doing either. Papa was thirsty, so Grandma kept bringing him cold tea. He was working so hard with the pool that he sat in the shade with Little Henn, and they drank tea until they fell asleep. There were swimming pool parts everywhere in the yard. The dog next door left just sat and watched the kids running around the yard. I was in the window throwing anything I could if it was around me at that time. I was trying to hit anyone up side the head from outside my window with shoes, toys, anything I could get my hands on. Plus, I tore up my whole room. If I’m not outside, shouldn’t nobody be outside that’s how I felt.

My cousins were outside. Vonzol, aka Pappy, he’s a wannabe kung fu master that thinks he can box. He’s more like Hong Kong Phooey; he always gets kicked out of school for fighting. He has four sisters—LaNya, aka Gail Baby, she’s a crybaby; Nahad-d, aka Nini, is a good singer and fighter who always thinks she can beat me up. Their big sister Tranell, aka Nelly, she thinks she’s the boss of everybody and everything she thinks she can whop and put you on punishment like she’s your mother. She’s only ten years old; she’s always trying to fight me. I have another cousin; his name is Sydney, aka Smart Guy. He’s smart; he’s only two years old, and he has a little brother named J, two sisters, one named Bells, who is my age. She’s a good fighter; she never gives up. You win some, you lose some. Cousin Henry was a quiet boy; he’s also called Henn, and he’s something else. He knows how to fix up a whole house at two years old. Everywhere Papa goes, Henry follows. If Papa says something, Henn says the same thing right back. He truly loves his grandparents.

There were pool parts everywhere in the backyard, and I got so mad I went to sleep in the window. When I woke up, kids were all over the yard. Nelly was on the phone inviting kids over to a swim party. When I went to sleep, there was a big mess. Papa had fallen asleep with Little Henn right next to Papa. They fell asleep drinking hot coffee and cold iced tea trying to fix the pool in the hot sun. Papa was just waking up from a nap. The pool was fixed, and the kids were adding the water to it. Papa was so excited that he thought he put the pool together. All the kids enjoyed laughing at Papa because he really thought he fixed the pool. Nelly said, Papa, you didn’t fix the pool, Uncle Keith fixed it when you were asleep. Papa felt bad everybody that was laughing especially Grandma. I was putting on my best behavior so me and Fat Baby could go outside we were still in the window mad. My cousin Marie, aka Teeter, is okay although sometimes she can be a bully; she wants to fight me from time to time because she thinks she know everything. Teeter was making all the kids laugh at me with her jokes about me sitting in a hot bedroom while they have fun in the cool pool. All the kids were looking up at me in the window with big smiles on their faces.

I was so hot in the window I had to try something. I went to ask Grandma, Can we go outside? She said to ask Papa because she was cooking dinner. The kids were having a ball in the pool. I was so mad crying screaming out the window. I asked Papa, Please, can l come outside? We started crying, Papa, please can we come outside? Papa said he’ll think about letting us come out. Hours went past, and we were looking so pitiful in the window that my papa said, It’s okay, as long as you behave, I’ll consider giving you both one more chance. As soon as he said come outside, I jumped out the window onto a live electric wire going cross the backyard over the pool sliding, and I dropped down in the pool and Fat Baby was right behind me.

The water was splashing everywhere. We were having so much fun for about two hours. It seemed like we were in the pool for a minute before Grandma said it was time to get out ’cause it was dinnertime. I swam for like a half an hour before Grandma said it again, Time to get out, children, it’s dinnertime. Everyone that wants to eat, get out of the pool now. Those who do not want to eat, keep playing, just do not eat in the pool. Some stayed in the pool playing. I got my food and got my little ass back in the pool with my plate. Grandma said not to, l said yes, there were a lot of kids in the yard telling me to get out so Grandma would hear. Kids were laughing at me sitting on the pool deck. I was so mad I threw one of those fits I’d be having. I stabbed a hole in the pool with a plastic knife.

After I stuck that knife in the pool, the water rushed out, washing myself with all the other kids right out the yard, with some of the kids washed in different directions, the water pushing us all the way down the alley. The water threw me up in the air right in a tree. I sat there because I felt safe from my mother, whom I knew was coming to whop me bad. Papa was floating in the water, still sitting in his yard chair. Little Henn was right there with him, both of them screaming as the water threw Papa up in the air and he landed in a tree. He was screaming Roland’s name, saying, I’m going to get you, Roland! Papa was very angry; he wanted to catch me for stabbing that hole in the pool. Smart guy was washed under the deck in the backyard; he had grass all over his body you couldn’t even recognize him. The kids were laughing and having a ball of fun. I ran for my life because my mother was coming after me fast with Grandma. My mother is a fast runner; Papa was washed up in a 39721.png tree. He was looking down at me running from my mother. Papa and Henn were throwing sticks down at me.

Only in Roland’s world.

Chapter 2

Family’s New Edition Tito

On Grandma’s birthday, Papa decided to give her a birthday gift she would always remember—a small 39724.png dog. Grandma’s last dog was small; his name was Mimi. He was eaten up by a big pit bull named Cujo. Mimi loved to jump on Cujo and hump like he’s crazy; Mimi was so small. Cujo was so big Mimi was like a fly on top of Cujo’s back. Cujo was our neighbor’s dog down the street. Mimi would always run in the neighbor’s backyard that Grandma always had to send someone down the street to get Mimi from the neighbor’s yard. Mimi was a horny dog that didn’t cared that Cujo was a boy dog. Male or female, he loves to hump them; he would even hump people’s legs. Mimi jumped on Cujo for the last time, and Cujo ate him for supper. That made Grandma sad for weeks. Grandpa was really looking around for a dog like Mimi; he asked some of his friends that he looked in the newspaper. Papa is kind of cheap, so he wanted to go buy the cheapest possible so he went online and found some dogs on Craigslist. Papa gets mad at us when we bother him in the morning when he’s trying to study on his computer. The more we were bad, the worst our punishment would be; and when we fought, we had to hug one another. Whoever was fighting at that time would be cleaning the house for hours like a slave. I had to do both ’cause I’m always in trouble. Sometimes if we were bad, we couldn’t go outside; but if we cleaned the house, we could go.

Papa really got to go check on a few dogs, and it was just me and Henry so we cleaned up and put on our best behavior. It seemed like we was riding all afternoon looking at ugly dogs I was so hungry. Papa said, I’m going to take you to McDonald’s so be patient, enjoy this country air. Every time we saw a MacDonald’s, Papa would drive right past it, laughing like he was having a ball watching us get excited, saying, Ooh ooh ooh, there goes one right there. Papa drove past every time, like he wanted to make us so mad. We were at our best behavior. We stopped at one house, and Papa said, I’ll be right out. It took him ten minutes to get out of the car and go into the house. I decided to get out of the car and wander around their house. I went in their backyard. There was a trampoline, swing set, toys, and no kids. I went to the car to get Henry to come and have fun with me. There was also a bird pond with big fish swimming around in it. We went to the car and got Papa’s fishing rods out of the trunk of the car. We started fishing; I caught two, and Henry jumped in the water and caught one.

We were having a ball until we started throwing rocks when we were jumping on the trampoline and burst the window in their house. Papa was so mad at us. What’s so bad about this is that we were only there for almost an hour. The people weren’t as mad as Papa was until they saw the fish dead. That’s when they wanted us out of their yard before they called the police. If you say police, Papa’s leaving burning rubber fast. Papa left their driveway so fast. Papa was mad at me; he didn’t say nothing usually fascist a lot. I was scared a little because he didn’t say nothing, and I didn’t want no whopping so I waited a little while and asked Papa if we can still go to McDonald’s. He didn’t say nothing. We pulled up to another house. My papa turned around in the car, looked at us straight in our eyes, and said, This time, you guys are going in the house with me, and if you do anything, I’m going to throw you off a bridge. Do you guys understand? We said, Yes, Papa. Henry was really too little to talk. He was only two years old, and I was just four years old so I spoke on behalf of both of us. Papa, we’re going to be good, and can we still go to McDonald’s? Papa said, Hell no! When we get in this house, y’all better not act up, just help me pick this damn dog out for your grandma’s birthday so we can go home!

There was a very nice lady at this house. She said her name was Ms. Jackson. She was nice; she gave Henn and I cookies and milk. She sat us in her kitchen to eat. She had two dogs and a big fat slow cat. Henn loved 39726.png cats; there was something about this cat that Little Henn loved. Papa went into the basement with the lady to pick out the dog.