Broken

By Martha Blair

Martha Blair wrote this book to share her mother’s story: the memories that are half in light and half in shadows. She cannot recall everything that happened but she can recall enough to tell people this story of survival.
In this book she talks what it was like to have no childhood. She was raised by a mother who haunted by her demons. She brought me up the best way she knew how – but something, her best was damaging and dangerous. She lost her when she was very young to a drunk driving accident. She learned the harsh realities of life before she died and after, we well.
In her journey, the most rewarding thing she did was learning not to judge her mother in anger and hate. She learned to understand her fears and insecurities, and to empathize with her. She is really proud that she made it this far all by herself. It wasn’t easy to survive the trauma of her difficult childhood. But she did it. And now she can say that lived to tell the tale.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: May 20, 2019
• ISBN: 9781796023183

Book preview

Copyright © 2019 by Martha Blair.

Library of Congress Control Number:              2019903397

ISBN:                  Hardcover                     978-1-7960-2320-6

                            Softcover                       978-1-7960-2319-0

                            eBook                            978-1-7960-2318-3

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 03/21/2019

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CONTENTS

Chapter 1    Memories of a Small Country Girl

Chapter 2    Uprooted

Chapter 3    Moving to Wisconsin

Chapter 4    Becoming a Wand of the State

Chapter 5    Aged Out Of Foster Care

Chapter 6    Unwed Mother

Chapter 7    Jimmy

Chapter 8    Reaching Out For Help

Chapter 9    Divorce

Chapter 1

Memories of a Small Country Girl

I remember walking through the deep dark woods Colfax, LA. I could feel the cool pine needles under my bare feet. I loved collecting different colors of leaves and talking to chattering squirrel.

I would always be covered with ticks. I gave no thoughts to the snakes or wild hogs in the woods.

I remember the huge old acorn tree in our driveway. I would gather the fallen acorn and put them in piles, for the squirrels. I knew that they needed to store up food before the hurricane season came.

In my mind, I can see the turtle shell that we had turtle soup, but I have no memory of it. I know that the shell was from a loggerhead turtle.

These turtles can grow very large and be dangerous. You need to shoot them in the head in order to kill one.

My dad had to have a lot of courage to go in the swamps of Louisiana to confront a turtle like that.

My dad’s name was Herbert; he was 22 years US Army Veteran Sargent major retired.

I wish that I could say that I have many memories of hi, but I don’t remember what he looks like. Although I have seen pictures of him.

I was born in Stuttgart, Germany at bad canstatt Army hospital. I was told that I was born a month early and was blue from a lack of oxygen and diagnosed with rickets. So I wore braces on my legs because my bones were soft from a lack of calcium.

My mom was a severe alcoholic, who drank while she was pregnant with me.

My mom’s father ran moonshine during the depression, so my mom was raised around alcohol.

My birth certificate say that dad was born in 1910 and my mom was born and raised in Colfax, LA.

I was told that my dad retired from the army, when I was 3 years old. My brother said that we traveled on a large boat from Germany to the United States. We were moving to Louisiana. Dad had inherited a 2 bedroom old wood house and 40 acres from his parents.

I wish that I could have met my grandparents. Apparently, they both died when I was 2 years old there name was Richard and Martha.

The old house was built up off the ground, because of the floods during the hurricane season. The house had a tin roof and tar shingles to cover the outside walls.

When dad returned to civilian life, he tried his hand at logging and farming. He was not very successful at either occupation.

I believe my dad had a tough time dealing with the emotional physical and financial changes of having to go from a strict military structured life to a civilian life.

I am sure my dad suffered from what is now called PTSD. He was a combat veteran. Back in his day, soldiers were expected to keep their emotional pain to themselves. My dad earned several medals for his military service including silver and bronze medals and the American flag from dad’s military funeral.

I remember the mule and plow that my dad used. I imagine that he tried to farm, with the memories that he had of his own father, who was a farmer.my dad was an alcoholic also.

I believe that he used alcohol to bury the memories of war.

I can only imagine the realities of live combat.

As a civilian, dad was able to do what he loved. He bought all coon dogs - both red bone and blue tick, hunting dogs. He loved to hunt, whether it be squirrels, possums, raccoons or deer. I would like to think he found some measure of peace while being in he woods alone or with other men hunting.

I remember the day that my father died. He